Finally, A Solution To The DMCA

morcego writes: "Well, finally someone came up with a solution to the DMCA problem. You can read it on the archive of the Humorix list." Well, combine this with my ULC Reverendship, and we're well underway *grin*.

Comments

Sinful Confessions?

[Deltan]

Does this mean that if I sin & distribute DeCSS but confess to it in the DMCA house of god, the evidence can't be used against me in court?

LOL!!

[Telek]

Then the Great Programmer leaned back in his executive chair, and gazed upon the newborn Universe.

And frowned. He knew those sentient humans would be a problem. Even after He had sweated over a hot terminal for thirteen days, those humans were ungrateful. They called their place of existence the "Universe", not the "Great Programmer/Universe".

Richard M Stallman, eat your heart out...!

the name of the Great Programmer...

[faqBastard]

Of course the news release doesn't give the name of the Great Programmer. (That would be sacrilege or something I suppose...)

BILL GATES!!!

NO!!!!!

of course, that would explain why humans are so insecure and unstable....

Where have i seen this before?

[Overphiend]

The P.I. believes that the holy document was actually written last Wednesday when the High Priest had a little too much to drink.

This procedure for creating a religion seems pretty popular, I believe Scientology was created that way.

Terminology

[virg_mattes]

> Also note that having sex with a dozen teenage chicks at a time is part of my religion.

Actually, by the time they're teenaged, they're not "chicks" any more. They're just "chickens" at that point.

Virg

Re:Terminology

[Skynet]

Actually, by the time they're teenaged, they're not "chicks" any more. They're just "chickens" at that point.

And if you want to get REALLY specific, they would be "hens." I don't think that guy would want to boff the rooster. ;-)

Re:Terminology

[Anonymous Coward]

I think you'll find the muscular movements produced by a hen in response to insertion of a large reproductive organ into the cloaca to be a much more fulfilling experience than anything a rooster has to offer. But then again, that's just my opinion, so please find out for yourself.

code review

[termchimp]

Then the Great Programmer leaned back in his executive chair, and gazed upon the newborn Universe. And frowned. He knew those sentient humans would be a problem.

That's what the Great Programmer gets for writing self-modifying code.

Re:Bush Rulez!

[osu-neko]

Where's Jessie Ventura when we need him!

Annoying those of us who don't need him (e.g. the citizens of Minnesota)...

ULC eBook?

[NitsujTPU]

Ahh, as my first administration of the sacrement, I would like to decrypt the ULC eBook in order to gain access to the materials needed for an ordination in a box.

Re:Protected religious practices

[Ryan_Terry]

So thats what we do....

We just need to have geek concentratio...errr reservations that we can put these religious fanatics in. Then we could monitor all of their movements, I mean so we could provide them with all the freedoms they desire.

Then the DMCA could stay in effect for everyone else. I believe Utah has some extra space.

Re:What a great idea

[tbone1]

Also note that having sex with a dozen teenage chicks at a time is part of my religion.

Ms. Poundstone, another outburst like that and I'll find you in contempt of court.

Memo to the MPAA Membership from Jack Valenti

[dinotrac]

It has come to my attention that some of you think that we should incorporate ourselves as a religion based on tightly holding on to our intellectual property and trampling anyone who thinks their pitiful little rights matter.

This would be pointless. I know that some of you are concerned because some religions have sprung up that worship free speech and such things.

Just remember what happened years ago when John Lennon made the mistake of saying that the Beatles were bigger than Jesus.

He was wrong. The Beatles weren't. We, however, are.

Sincerely yours,

Jack Valenti

Sounds like a forking from...

[Black Art]

the First Disassembly of God church.

In the First Disassembly of God church we seek to reverse engineer the nature of the cosmos and supply weekly diffs and patches at our worship services. (As well as debugging of the faithful, documenting the numberous ways of violating syntax, and distribution of the Wine libraries and /etc/hosts file.)

Re:Sounds like a forking from...

[Tackhead]

> In the First Disassembly of God church we seek to reverse engineer the nature of the cosmos and supply weekly diffs and patches at our worship services.

Actually, what you describe as the First Disassembly of God church goes back at least 2500 years.

Its members are called "physicists".

A guy in a bathtub started it. They named a screw after him. There was another guy who had an apple fall on his head. Another guy drew ellipses and shaded in sections of 'em. Then there was a bunch of devotees who played around with magnets and batteries, and following them, some folks with a thing for that glowing gunk that came out of pitchblende. Someone figured out that you can use the bits that fly off the glowing gunk to bash bits of non-glowing gunk, and that the non-glowing gunk is mostly empty space. You can even take the small bits of gunk that aren't empty space and bash 'em against each other, and see what they're made of. (Even if you can never measure precisely where the bits of gunk are, or how much momentum they have, at any given moment. Uh, we're still working on how God pulled that one off.)

By the way, if anyone knows what any of this "small-bits-of-gunk-that-you-can't-measure-where-i t-is-and-sometimes-it-acts-like-a-wave hack" has to do with God's other weird hack - the one that makes heavy stuff like apples, move towards other heavy stuff like planets (unless some church member's head is in the way), please apply for membership ASAP. We're pretty stumped on this bit.

Re:Protected religious practices...Congress Helps

[darkPHi3er]

WASHINGTON POSTTIMESHEARLD
WASHINGTON, DC: Aug 30, 2001

As Congress furiously discussed what to do with the newly discovered "First Church Of Digital Grepping" and its alleged dogma that requires its members to constantly search through copyrighted materials for sacred meaning and salvation, the lobbying organizations for the entertainment and publishing sprang into action.

The entertainments' lawyer and lobbyists have already brought about a marked increase in donations of cash, luxury cars, booze, dope and the deployment of hookers.

One crack addict in a poor neighborhood of DC told us today, "Man, you can't score any good shit with it all going to them Congressmen. We down here smoking Draino and hoping those lobbyists from the entertainment industment get whatever the hell it is they want so we can get our freak back on!"

Another professional worker in the recreational sex business tells relates a similar story, "Geez, it's normally bad enough here with all these Congressmen around. Can't keep in they pants, anyway. You know how it is, if they ain't doing one of us out here, they doing the American people in there. But with all them lawyers and lobbyists working Congress about that Geek Religion thing, its nearly as bad for a sex worker as it is when they ain't no interns around. That's the worst, it's just every ho for themselves then and pray for new load of interns."

Sources within the entertainment industry say their goal is the simple protection of the artists.

One anonymous source said, "Look we all know that the actual artist, the creator who is the principal beneficiary of our actions here. We're going to ensure that the people who create the movies, music and books that we all love and cherish continue to receive their .0000001% of all our net net revenues. We're very serious about this."

Another source said that perhaps a solution similar to the one used with Native American peoples would be effective in dealing with "The First Church Of Digital Grepping".

That is, round all them up, march two thousand miles in the middle of winter. Take their computers and ATM cards away from them. Give them habitats in faroff remote Northern rural areas, and allow them to practice their supposed religion two or three times a year, under close Bureau of Geek Affairs supervision.

Re:how long?

[room101]

ah, geez, and don't get me started on the "void main" thing.

(that should be "int main")

Re:how long?

[ink]

That all depends on if He planned for the universe to ever exit(). We will need to consult the prophets to find the answer.

Just great!

[Otto]

We don't even have our own religion for a freakin' day and already it gets forked into splinter factions! Bah!