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Man-Made Black Holes Looming?

Posted by michael on from the danger-will-robinson dept.

camusflage writes: "The New York Times has a story that some physicists think it might be possible to make black holes at the under construction Large Hadron Collider at CERN, slated to come online in 2006. Trying to allay concerns about a man-made black hole blipping us out of existence, they say "The same calculations ... predict that around 100 such black holes a year are `organically' and apparently safely produced in the earth's atmosphere in cosmic ray collisions." As long as we can keep critters from building nests in the singularity, we should be okay."

15 of 300 comments (clear)

  1. Indecent Exposure by Steel_viper · · Score: 3, Funny

    Can't have any naked singularities running around...

    Ouch. Black hole puns. There's no excuse.

    Viper Out

    1. Re:Indecent Exposure by Edgewize · · Score: 5, Funny

      Don't worry about posting a pun. When the story is about black holes, there's no escaping it.

    2. Re:Indecent Exposure by warrior · · Score: 2, Funny

      Couple that with the fact that I originally read it as the "Large Hardon Collider" and did a double take, I figured this was a physicist's equivilant of the "real doll"

      Sorry! That's just how my demented brain processed it

      Mike

      --
      Intel transfer the difficult from Hadware to software, for get more power, programmer need more technology. -- chinaitn
  2. But why ? by popeyethesailor · · Score: 5, Funny

    We all know Black holes suck..

  3. Cool, but why? by smaughster · · Score: 3, Funny
    Ok, I can see a certain (vast) amount of coolness in building a black hole, but what I interested in is practical applications of this. How about:

    • Your own little black hole instead of a trash can.
      Placing your black hole between you and your mother in law to suck in the boring conversation.
      No more standing in line in shops or outside disco's.
      A good excuse when your boss comes complaining about all the budget you are eating: "It wasn't me, it was the company black hole!"

    --
    I intend to live forever, so far so good.
    1. Re:Cool, but why? by GreyPoopon · · Score: 2, Funny
      Your own little black hole instead of a trash can.


      The only problem is that you'd hear news stories about people who produced too much trash and caused their "trash hole" to grow in size so much that it swallowed their whole house.


      Of course, it would be a much better story for students who didn't do their homework. "Our black hole ate it."

      --

      GreyPoopon
      --
      Why is it I can write insightful comments but can't come up with a clever signature?

  4. This does not inspire confidence.. by IvyMike · · Score: 4, Funny

    From the article: We've been trying for a century, and we still don't fully understand black holes," said Dr. Andrew Strominger. And then he goes on to conclude that we need to make some.

    If they're going to do something which at least sounds dangerous, I would really like it if they could say, "Nothing can possibly go wrong", not, "Our understanding is incomplete."

    1. Re:This does not inspire confidence.. by Steeltoe · · Score: 3, Funny

      "Nothing can possibly go wrong", not, "Our understanding is incomplete."

      If watching movies gain any insight, these two comments are logically equal. Each time someone says "Don't worry, everything's under control", you bet it's time to panic and flee the scene as fast as you can.

      - Steeltoe

      --
      http://www.debunkingskeptics.com/
    2. Re:This does not inspire confidence.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

      Yeah, let's not become a statistic. I mean, who's to say that the universe's existing black holes weren't all created by intelligent beings who smugly thought "the chances of this wiping us out gotta be pretty slim, right George?".

    3. Re:This does not inspire confidence.. by sharkey · · Score: 4, Funny

      That's just the scientific community's way of saying, "Hold my beer and watch THIS!"

      --

      --
      "Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next.
  5. Obvious Experiment by krazo · · Score: 5, Funny

    Everybody already knows black holes spontaneously appear. Here's an experiment to prove it.

    Place two matching socks in a washer machine. turn the washer machine on, wait for it to finish. Remove the single sock. Voila. Black holes.

    Now place that single sock into the drier. Turn it on, wait for it to finish. Remove one entirely different sock, which you have never owned. Kazow. Alternate Dimensions.

    The field of pairingsocks physics solved the Black Hole question years before the cosmologists or those silly particle physicists. This article is old news.

  6. hmmm by Tharsis · · Score: 5, Funny

    The ultimate Darwin Award

  7. Waste management by wysoft · · Score: 1, Funny

    Maybe they can figure out a way to create a black hole I can throw my trash into.

    --
    -- I'll cut you up so bad, you'll wish I'd never cut you up so bad!
  8. I hope they remember the basic rules... by IronChef · · Score: 5, Funny

    They better not try to put their pet black hole in a bag of holding.

  9. Joke, sorry by rve · · Score: 4, Funny

    To ensure our safety, all nuclear research should be banned until we know enough about it to know what the risks are.