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FiveFingerDiscount.com?

Posted by michael on from the liquid-assets dept.

phillippaxton writes: "According to this link, dot-bomb victims are creating their own severance packages, no doubt walking away with the typical office tchotchkes (staplers, tape dispensers, etc.) but also big ticket items such as plush furniture, copiers, high-powered network servers, etc. One anecdote cites someone who lifted $445,549 of equipment, then tried to sell it on eBay as a company liquidating their assets." On the other hand, the fact that it's illegal to stiff your employees out of wages due them, even in a bankruptcy, isn't mentioned in the article...

18 of 418 comments (clear)

  1. The nerve of these geeks... by Master_Ruthless · · Score: 3, Funny

    "Ex-employees thought they were entitled to it,"

    Yeah, heaven forbid that these geeks, after putting in 80 hour weeks, would feel they're entitled to anything other than an asskick out the door- far more important that some grasping VC gets .04% of his bad investment back after the fire sale...

    1. Re:The nerve of these geeks... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny
      Heaven forbid that geeks would actually understand that a STUPID FREAKING SOCK PUPPET would not help a company sell pet food over the Internet. Each one of these geeks deserved to have their butts kicked to the curb for the GREED in their hearts thinking that a dot-com with a dumbass business plan was going to put them on easy street. They are now demostrating it as they leave by taking what is not theirs.

      Every dot-commer that is being laid off deserves it. Just because your are brilliant, can say every line from Star Trek:TOS and have poor social skills should not prevent you from having common sense. You entered a high risk field and now you are taking your lumps. But you can't take it like a real man, no, you have to steal on your way out. I hope the cops track down each and everyone of these GREEDY LITTLE PIMPLE FACED GEEKS and throws them in jailed so they really know what it feels like to be screwed over.

      As a "geek" that stayed with a non-dot-com company during the boom, I must say I am so satisfied watching the bodies dropping like flies in the dot-com world and they are calling me up for jobs. "Yes, hey Brian, long time no talk. You need a job? Aren't you supposed to be rich by now? Oh, your stock options didn't come through. Aw, too bad. Sorry because of the greedy bastards in the dot-com world, the economy is the way it is, I don't have anything for you."

  2. Caught in the act by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    When a startup that my company was financing went under, my department laid claim to the computers. So two guys from here went over there and began loading up the truck. During their last run they put the remaining monitors on those nice chairs (what are they called? aeron?) and wheeled the whole thing out to the truck. When they walked back in to say "All set, we're taking off" the beancounter in charge of the operation said "You're gonna bring back those chairs, right?" D'oh.

  3. i never actually took that much by unformed · · Score: 3, Funny

    But some things I did take:
    Legit sealed copies of Windows 98, Office 2000, etc, which I could use to somewhat legitimize my computer. (at the time)
    A fire extinguisher.
    Lots of food.
    T-shirts.
    Half of a video camera. (The building had the eyepiece of an old Beta video camera stuck into the wall to make it look like a security camera. Obviously it wasn't working)
    Lots of notebooks, papers, etc, for school.

    And, I think that was it....the company never went out of business though; i just took it because no one was using it ;)

    1. Re:i never actually took that much by datatrash · · Score: 2, Funny

      I must admit I never took that much either. Besides the standards, your pens, mouse, coffee, and postage, I had to go in late at night and remove the overhead screen from the meeting room as at the company xmass party a friend who I invited, a librarian (and we all know how they can be prrrrrrrrrr....) got wasted and thinking she was writing on a dry erase board actually scribbled "corporate pigs" on the overhead. Suffice to say someone blamed the mysteriously missing screen on a departed salesperson.

      If you need to verify this story you can check the garbage dumps in Boston)

    2. Re:i never actually took that much by jarty · · Score: 3, Funny

      "I did take...A fire extinguisher...i just took it because no one was using it"
      Yeah. Right. I think they are commonly used in the case of a fire, i.e. not often - be sure to take the life jackets next time you're on a ferry, and remove the air-bag from your friend's car, as they are probably 'not in use either'.

      --
      ------------ jay*arr*tee
  4. Psssst! Hey buddy.... by spike666 · · Score: 4, Funny

    ... Wanna Herman Miller Aeron Chair?

    Cheap! only $400 and barely used... only the sweat of 3 dot com geeks on it...

  5. There is a MUCH simpler way to do this. by AtariDatacenter · · Score: 2, Funny

    You don't swipe items when the company has given you the boot. They'll have their eyes on you big time. What you do is you swipe items when you're pissed off at your company for treating you badly. (IE: Hurray! Everyone gets a 10% pay cut!)

    Best way to do this? Very simple. Use your company's shipping and receiving department. That's what they're there for. From you desk, sell office items on eBay. When it comes time to deliver the goods, box it up... at work... and give it to your shipping department (who, no doubt, will want to FedEx, UPS, or otherwise mail it with no later than two day delivery). Make the company foot the bill for getting rid of their own items.

    This message is in jest. Please DON'T try this, gentle SysAdmins. ;)

  6. exaggerated losses by uucp · · Score: 2, Funny
    used his security clearance to steal $445,549 worth of computers and equipment, including logic-card modules and oscilloscopes.

    Yah, I can see the itemization now.
    • One Computer $2,000.00
    • One Oscilloscope $43,549.00
    • One Logic-Card Module Ummmm $400,000.00 Yeah, that's the ticket!

    --
    Sig (appended to the end of comments you post, 120 chars)
  7. Re:Jeezuz... by sql*kitten · · Score: 5, Funny

    You're right Michael - it's okay to steal and loot because some employers can't afford to make their payroll.

    Uhh, CmdrTaco? Better keep an eye on Michael when Andover starts running out of cash...

  8. Re:exaggerated losses -- by AtariDatacenter · · Score: 5, Funny

    One computer: $2,000
    One oscilloscope: $43,549
    Having your story linked to Slashdot: $PRICELESS

    For some bankrupcies, there are severance checks. And for others, fivefingerdiscount.

    Fivefingerdiscount. It's everything you want to have.

  9. I've been wrong all along... by pongo000 · · Score: 4, Funny
    "They may have difficulty blaming themselves when they get laid off, so they direct their anguish at the company."


    And all this time, I thought it was OK to blame someone else for getting laid off. Now I come to find it was actually my fault all along.


    Guess I ought to give them back their laptop.

  10. Don't wait around. by AnalogBoy · · Score: 5, Funny

    You've been hired for your intelligence, use it. There are several ways to tell when its time to leave your company.

    1) You work for a DSL Provider thats NOT a bell Leave now.

    2) You see your company on FuckedCompany.com.

    3) Your stock is delisted, OR your IPO Is "Indefinately put on hold".

    4) Your company starts to buy metal folding chairs instead of Areons, saving ~$575.00/ea

    5) You have to start *gasp* PAYING for your cokes.

    6) You work for a dot-com with an unreasonable business model - I.E. Sending a $4 20 Lb bag of furball litter, overnight priority mail.

    7) Your CEO's last job was "PC Technician"

    8) Your company holds "Effective Resume Writing" classes or begins offering discounted copies of "Knock 'em Dead".

    9) You see a copy of "7 Habits of highly unemployed people" laying on your bosses desk.

    Theres more. But if you see any of the above, its a pretty good sign you need to move on.

    1. Re:Don't wait around. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Hmm, I think you could just change #6 to:

      6) You work for a dot-com.

  11. Re:Lawyer: not quite by hawk · · Score: 4, Funny
    >Implying that the insurance covers the "self help" loss?


    oh, no. Implying that the self-helper gets three squares a day and an opportunity to do laundry for the guy with the most cigarettes . . .


    :)
    hawk

  12. Re:Getting wages owed you by tswinzig · · Score: 5, Funny

    What has worked for people in the past?

    Apparantly, stealing as much shit on the way out as possible.

    --

    "And like that ... he's gone."
  13. This doesn't surprise me. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Most slashdotters are completely used to stealing music, so office furniture is the logical consequence.

  14. "Take Stuff From Work" by Jamie+Zawinski · · Score: 5, Funny

    In the immortal words of King Missle:

    Take stuff from work.
    It's the best way to feel better about your job.
    Never buy pens or pencils or paper.
    Take 'em from work.
    Rubber bands, paper clips, memo pads, folders -- take 'em from work.
    It's the best way to feel better about your low pay and appalling working conditions.
    Take an ashtray -- they got plenty.
    Take coat hangers.
    Take a, take a trash can.
    Why buy a file cabinet?
    Why buy a phone?
    Why buy a personal computer or word processor?
    Take 'em from work.
    I took a whole desk from the last place I worked.
    They never noticed, and it looks great in my apartment.
    Take an electric pencil sharpener.
    Take a case of white-out; you might need it one day.
    Take some from work.
    It's your duty as an oppressed worker to steal from your exploiters.
    It's gonna be an outstanding day.
    Take stuff from work.
    And goof off on the company time.
    I wrote this at work.
    They're paying me to write about stuff I steal from them.
    Life is good.