Husband and Wife Computer Games?

An Anonymous Coward asks: "I have a home network, and my wife and I each have our own computers (plus a few extra). My wife has a fear of computers, and uses hers as little as possible. In an attempt to get my wife in front of her computer more, I am looking for games we can play together. My question is, what networkable games out there appeal to the female gender? Quake-like games are definelty out. Too bad Sims isn't multi-player..." I've gotta echo the sentiment about the Sims not being multi-player, however lately I've noticed a few husband and wife couples out there on a few MMORPGs. Are any of you couples out there playing games together? If so, which ones?

Comments

You have to ease them into it.

[dustpuppy]

I think it's a bad idea to start them off on Quake, Diablo or any other 'real-time' game. For someone who is intimidated by computers, just using the computer is scary enough, let alone working out 20 key controls and definitely let alone trying to think and respond in real-time.

I think you should start on multiplayer non-confrontational games like those found on Yahoo Games (several people have already mentioned this).

I also highly recommend the Shockwave mini-golf games that can be found around the web (sorry, I'm at work otherwise I would provide a link). These are great because they are familiar, there is minimal time pressures, and the key controls are very simple.

Once they become comfortable with PCs, then you can move them onto more 'action' games.

Don't laugh now...

[Lish]

(MS) Hearts. No, I'm not kidding. It's simple since it's the same as playing it with real cards. This also makes it less intimidating. Allows the two of you to play against each other without having to track down two more people to play when you feel like it.

This assumes you have two windows computers, of course, I don't know if anyone's got a similar thing going for Linux/Mac/etc. Anyone else have suggestions for "simple games" where the computer can fill in for missing people?

"Girl" games

[jrwillis]

Maybe I'm wrong here, but in my experience it all depends on the girl. I've known girls who love FPS and the like and hated games like the Sims. I'm not saying that they're all like that, but I think it'd be a mistake to try to find a "girly" game for your wife/gf when it could be she actually would like the same games you do. You also have to realize that some girls just won't like any games no matter what you get them to try. On a side note though, Civ III is coming out next month, so if you want her obsessed with a game, that'd be the one to show her. :)

i think you're taking the wrong approach...

[dixel]

i was the wife who was afraid of computers a few years (oh, it seems like a lifetime!) ago. i thought he was insane and the whole computer thing was 1) too hard, 2)scary and 3) a massive waste of time and money. but i wanted my husband to be happy so i smiled and tried to listen while my eyes glazed over when he raphsodized over the mysterious inner workings of this ugly box sitting in my living room.

what brought be around was when we when he snagged a little desktop publishing program. cheesy clipart, zillions of fonts, all that crap. suddenly, i could see some fun and productive stuff i could do with it. (ok, well productive is perhaps a bit of a stretch--our first project was writing a christmas newsletter. but it was fun and we did it together.)

eventually, he also got some "cute" games like bubble bobble and rainbow island, and we played them together. we raced for the little goodies that dropped down as we played. i never felt pressured or pushed, but he just put that computer out there and made sure there was stuff on it i liked and was interested in--money management programs, word processing programs, desktop publishing programs, that kind of thing. he was there in a flash anytime i had a problem with the computer, and made sure it was fixed pronto and i didn't end up feeling foolish for "messing something up." later on i started to get intereted in the internet, and he got me a copy of frontpage and some graphics programs. i made some butt-ugly webpages and had a good time with it.

and gradually, slowly, i started to become more and more comfortable with it. now we play baulder's gate together a lot, and in the past we've spent time playing diablo--i also like the sims. i'm also a web developer now, so i've clearly gotten over my fear of machines.

so i would say, get your wife some stuff she would be interested in and don't start off with the involved games, which may not appeal to her in the beginning and may require more of a commitment to learning how to play than she's initially interested in. the computer is intimidating when you're first starting out because it can make you feel stupid.

so, to sum up: find things to put on the computer that can make her life easier and more fun. with games, start off with very simple and cute games, and make sure she knows that you value the interaction with her more than the gameplay itself. go slowly and don't push her. support her efforts to do things independently on the computer (and if she screws something up, fix it goodnaturedly). and after you've spent some time doing something together on the computer, let her know you've enjoyed doing it with her. feeling closer to my husband after we'd spent time working on something together on the computer was the most powerful positive reinforcement i could have gotten.

A Geekess who doesn't play games..

[Tesseracti]

This topic must have been submitted with me in mind. My boyfriend has been trying to get me to play games with him for ages. However, as a CS major, it hasn't been fear that's kept me away so much as boredom.

It wasn't always that way. As a kid, I loved playing my Atari games (Frogger, Empire Stikes Back, Pac-Man etc) and in college I played alot of Lemmings, Tetris and assorted card games. But lately it seems like all the games my boyfriend plays require quiet solitude (Me: Hey- Him: Shhhh.. I'm trying to play here), 3 hands (Me: How do I get it to go forward again?) or an extensive knowledge of firearms (Me: What does strafe mean?). And you never seem to *do* anything except blow people/stuff/creatures up.

Now a game that allowed for social interaction, maybe even discussion *while* playing could be interesting. Or a game based on something I was already into (like a TV series or novels). Or one with a story or defined tasks. Any of those would be fun to play *with* him.

OTOH, my mother is absolutely addicted to Freecell. She plays it for hours on end every night. Through TV, movies and even phone calls.

So, I guess my advice to you would be to a) find out if your wife would actually be interested in playing games before you bore her away from the computer permanently, b) find out what games she might want to play by herself so she could improve her skills on her own and c) find out what games you could play with her to help her get over her fear of the computer and make it an enjoyable experience.

That's my 2 cents. And maybe I'll try some of the games mentioned already and make my boyfriend happy :)