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Intel kills Consumer Electronics

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the todays-economy-is-much-less-fun dept.

bribecka writes "Saw this on CNet News.com: Intel has decided to phase out its consumer electronics division. This division was responsible for digital cameras, digital audio players, and other gadgets. " Not really surprising considering the way things are these days.

4 of 78 comments (clear)

  1. they will now have more time by perdida · · Score: 5, Funny

    to concentrate on VIA cloning their chips.

    I can imagine the commercials now... someone injects some blue blood into a test tube, and comes out with a warped and deformed Blue Man.

    Then, as the scientist shoots the miserable spawn, a caption appears:

    "Intel P4: Accept No Substitutes."

    --
    Goat sex free since 2001
  2. But....but....but... by Quarters · · Score: 3, Funny

    Which company am I going to turn to to get my hemmorhoid ring shaped, iMac blue, wireless game pads? (http://www.intel.com/wireless_series/gamepad.htm)

    Oh the humanity...

  3. ya know... by mickeyreznor · · Score: 4, Funny

    it would have been helpful to add the word "department" at the end of the headline. Saying "Intel kills Consumer Electornics" might freak some people out.

    --

    Got Freedom?
    Thinking?

  4. Intel Kills Consumers by denzo · · Score: 5, Funny

    In a sweeping move today, Intel Corporation has decided to boost revenue during the current looming recession by making drastic changes to the chip market.

    It plans on killing off the consumer base.

    "Consumers are starting to get smart," tertiary chief marketing analyst Joe Nooty said, "They are realizing that they don't actually need to upgrade from a 866MHz Pentium III to a 2.0GHz Pentium 4 to have a good Internet experience."

    "We don't appreciate how our clients becoming unemployed and unable to think about buying our absolute latest product," said another marketing person, "It's time to give them the axe and redefine the market."

    Execution of human beings, except for those employed by Intel, will commence in Q1 2002. The new Pentium 5 (or Pentium Pentium, codenamed Pentium Squared) will debut and will offer a fish-friendly interface.

    "The reason for the fish-interface is simple. The world is 75% covered by water. We'll make a killing in sales by targetting the largest body of species in the world," claimed Nooty.

    Intel representatives refused to answer our calls when we asked sent in questions such as: How do you plan to make "money" off of fish? Where will all these human consumers be burried? What will Intel do as a lone-standing human civilization? And did you ask Microsoft how they plan to port Windows XP (for eXPired) for oceanic fauna?