Football Team Blames Loss on Linux

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Football Team Blames Loss on Linux

Posted by michael on Saturday October 20, 2001 @12:00AM from the penguin-ate-my-homework dept.

jaxon_brooks writes: "I guess if you can't blame yourself, you gotta blame something?!?! 'Ravens (-7 1/2) at Browns: Ravens Coach Brian Billick faults last week's defensive breakdown on team's switch to Linux operating system.'" Maybe the team got caught up playing Same Game?

21 of 142 comments (clear)

Uh-oh. We've got a big problem here. by Bruce+Perens · 2001-10-20 00:11 · Score: 5, Funny

This is what happens when you leave the operating system design up to a pencil-necked geek from Helsinki. Everyone knows that Finns can't play football. And look at this guy, he's married to the 3-time women's karate champion of Finland. What do you think it does to a guy to get up in the morning, knowing that his wife could beat the tar out of him any time she wants to?
So, now we've got IBM and other big companies on Linux development, and those guys only know from golf! There they go, yapping about "enterprise Linux", and still they can't mount a good defense. Ah heck, we might as well go back to DOS. Now, there's an operating system with a strong offensive.
Bruce

--
Bruce Perens.
1. Re:Uh-oh. We've got a big problem here. by lushman · 2001-10-20 02:44 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  Here's the problem:
  
  [coach@ravens /]$ su
  Password:
  [root@ravens /]# mount /dev/defense
  mount: can't find /dev/defense in /etc/fstab or /etc/mtab
  [root@ravens /]# mount /dev/offense
  mount: can't find /dev/offense in /etc/fstab or /etc/mtab
2. Re:Uh-oh. We've got a big problem here. by rasilon · 2001-10-20 03:15 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  So? Americans can't play football either, they're too busy with the broken versions of rugby and rounders that thay are always yapping on about. Most of them wouldn't know Pele from Gazza.
Ahhh! by mESSDan · 2001-10-20 00:25 · Score: 5, Funny

What they meant was that they couldn't run any defensive "simulations" by playing Madden 2002. Doh!

--

-- Dan
How-To Slum for /. Stories... by heyetv · 2001-10-20 00:32 · Score: 2, Funny

grep -r linux http://*.*.???/ | http://slashdot.org/submit.pl
Wrong sport by OuD · 2001-10-20 00:34 · Score: 5, Funny

No wonder they lost, everyone knows know Linux and *BSD are designed for ice-hockey.. just ask Pittsburg and New Jersey.
The reason by S.I.O. · 2001-10-20 00:38 · Score: 5, Funny

They forgot how to perform the "Blue death" secret defense trick.
Don't do it! by Denor · 2001-10-20 00:52 · Score: 5, Funny

People, you're well aware at this point that the editors don't check the links in the articles submitted. Luckily, I managed to actually click on it before a lot of people saw the article. I'm warning you, don't click on it!

No, it's not a link to goatse, whatever sick bastard sent this in linked to a place far, far worse. Don't click!

I'm telling you, if you go there, you'll have horrible flashbacks to high-school gym! You'll get locker-induced claustrophobia all over again! It'll be like listening to everyone drone on and on about the latest game while you say nothing in order to disguise the fact that you didn't watch it! Yes, you're suspecting now so I'll just say it right out:

They linked to a sports site!

Run! Flee! Don't make the same mistake I did!!!

--
-Denor
oddly enough... by gnurd · 2001-10-20 01:01 · Score: 3, Funny

i blame the need for my university to switch to a free operating system on the disproportinate budget of the football team.

--
"i was saying gnu-rd"
Letterman would like this... by simpleguy · 2001-10-20 01:03 · Score: 3, Funny

Dave Letterman can now blame the long lasting defeats of the "Fighting Cardinals" on Linux too

Heh.
coach misunderstood by Lurking+Grue · 2001-10-20 01:03 · Score: 5, Funny

He shouldn't have "open-sourced" the playbook. Doh!
Re:File this one under Humor by dgroskind · 2001-10-20 01:55 · Score: 5, Funny

For the benefit of the humor-impaired...
To undersand the joke here it helps to know that Brian Billick is known for using his Powerbook and Excel98 to select plays during the game.
Football? by Anonymous Coward · 2001-10-20 02:03 · Score: 1, Funny

What the fuck is football?
Switch to FreeBSD by Bender+Unit+22 · 2001-10-20 02:20 · Score: 2, Funny

instead of that moneygrabbing monopoly that is Linux! The FreeBSD dæmon would also make a better mascot! :-)
I know it, and you know it, Linux is evil!

.. wait, I might have got something wrong here, but since the post is about a sports page, I have a hard time relating to it. Ah, now I remember, it is Micro$oft that is evil.. almost slipped there...("note to self: M$ is evil not Linux, Linux=good").
Mental image I didn't need by Glyndwr · 2001-10-20 03:05 · Score: 2, Funny

A gaggle of cheerleaders in Tux costumes.

--
You win again, gravity!
Linux...revolutionizing the sports arena! by Topgun1 · 2001-10-20 03:34 · Score: 2, Funny

I can see it now.

Press: Coach, what happened in the game today?

Coach: Well, it's really quite simple: our offense sig faulted and the defense was running Nautalis (see previous story).
I thought that was intel... by cosmol · 2001-10-20 03:52 · Score: 2, Funny

Years back I was at the independence bowl watching the Virginia Wahoos beat the TCU horned frogs. Since it was raining, and my team was losing, the high point was the Wahoo band.
Their half time routine consisted of poor marching (if you could call it that) and jokes over the stadium PA. This was way back when the Pentium division bug was in the news.
On the speaker a voice announced, "Todays half time scores brought to you by pentium, Virginia 14.00421, TCU 3.10002"
That really was the best part of the game...
Re:File this one under Humor by Pope · 2001-10-20 06:38 · Score: 3, Funny

if one sees a picture of one's co-worker stripped to the waist, painted with obscure symbols and numbers, wearing a ridiculous head-piece
If it's the co-worker I'm thinking of, it means it's Solstice and I'm about to get reeeal lucky with her!

--
It doesn't mean much now, it's built for the future.
Re:File this one under Humor by reverius · 2001-10-20 07:52 · Score: 2, Funny

We play Counterstrike. Occasionally we pirate music and movies just to piss off the RIAA/MPAA. And of course, we hang out on Slashdot. :P
this would've happened with bsd too by LazyDawg · 2001-10-20 08:45 · Score: 2, Funny

Its the demons I tells ya! The demons! The open source community ships dozens of these little devils per Linux, Hurd and BSD distro. It was just a matter of time before the less tech savvy community noticed our little satan-worshipping plot and brought us to account for it!

We should issue a promise to the NFL that the next Linux distro they recieve will be demon-free. Then they'll stop complaining via email.

--
"Look at me, I invented the stove!" -- Ben Franklin
what OS was Favre running ? by beanerspace · 2001-10-20 14:03 · Score: 2, Funny

As a once Baltimore Colts fan (until Irsay stole them), and now Ravens fan, I have to say this is the lamest excuse I've ever heard.

Fact was, Bret Favre of the Packers went crazy last week with one of those career games. Unless Ray Lewis hit Favre over the head with a large, disk laden, CPU, it is unlikely that any operating system would have stopped him.

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healyourchurchwebsite.com - WWJB?