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FBI Wants to Tap The Net
Majik was among the stream sof people submitting this story about the FBI wanting to
tap the net. Makes carnivore look like a baby monitor since this tracks all packets, and would be placed at key locations on the net.
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You know that's what they're after. Hoover left a more lasting legacy than we know...
Whoa, this is getting confusing!!! What happens if an FBI agent uses a Windows machine running some packet-catching/sniffing program to "tap the 'Net"? Wouldn't this be a crime since they'd be using a terrorist-harboring operating system (see last Slashdot article) to search for terrorists? Uggghhh...
If you celebrate Xmas, befriend me (538
all your freedom are belong to [censored by FBI]
After the FBI comes knocking at my door asking me why I always play T.
Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. -- Carl Sagan
Scene: Windowless van parked next to the sidewalk under a streetlamp. Two slightly overweight first-year FBI agents sit in the van splitting a box of Crunch-n-Munch. The air smells like two slightly overweight first-year FBI agents eating Crunch-n-Munch.
Agent 1:"Turn on your monitor. The sniffer is receiving something."
Agent 2 wipes the crumbs off his hands against the leg of his jeans and flicks the switch on his flatscreen.
Agent 2:"It's coming in. It says: 'ALL...YOUR...BASE...ARE...BELONG...TO...US...' What the fuck does that mean?"
Agent 1:"I don't know, but add it to the MOVE ZIG and FOR GREAT JUSTICE files. I think we're onto something.
Meanwhile, down the street, a ten-year-old geek chortles and crawls under the covers.
Why do users with IDs under 100,000 or over 700,000 usually have the most worthwhile comments?
This thing is going to track what?
I give it a week before the packets flood the data storage and crash the spying hardware.
I give it a day before it starts loosing data to keep up.
I give it an hour before someone figures how to bypass it
I give it 15 seconds before somebody finds a way to trigger a national alert that there are terrorists at a former employers location.
I give it a month before Microsoft realises the Windows in testing is crashing due to packet moddifications by FBI due to a minnor defect in FBI software. Blame the FBI Os.. retract when they discover it's Win 2K.. and clame the problem is still there when the FBI fixes it by switching to BSD... (Thought I was gona say Linux didn't ya?)
I don't actually exist.
all they have to do is ask al gore he invented it anyways....
This must be Thursday, I never could get the hang of Thursdays.
Detainee: But i didn't do anything wrong.
FBI Agent: Acording to the data from our tracking systems, your toilet paper consumption rates, the number of gardening books you buy per year and the number of bad jokes about CmdrTaco that you post on Slashdot per week match those in our profile for "Higly Dangerous - Possible Megalomaniac Persons". To prevent any crimes from your part we are hereby detaining you for psychiatric treatment.