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HP's Digital-Audio Entertainment Box
ARP writes: "Hewlett Packard has introduced the de100c Digital Entertainment Center, a one of a kind stand-alone product that combines Internet features and digital multimedia capabilities. The unit connects to the television and stereo, from where it allows for organizing and storing MP3 and CD music that can be stored on its 40GB hard drive. It also comes with a CD writer for burning CDs on the fly, and USB connections for transferring files from and to portable devices such as PDAs. Coolest of all is the ability to connect through the Internet (broadband and dial-up both supported) to download music. The de100c is expected to hit the stores around the holidays. More info and shot at RatedPC." If this had the video capabilities like TiVo, it might be a much easier sell, but still looks like a useful component.
That remote control looks way too fucking goth. In fact, the whole setup is designed to fit nicely in the midst of some non-skid plate steel and a rack of nipple clamps and butt plugs.
Interesting concept...
Those assclowns! They gave a big fuck you to zee Americans.
I like to touch my penis.
I have a scrotum.
I like it when Jon Katz touches my scrotum.
I call it my "spitting cobra"
And here's why: As a professional consultant for a major Fortune 500 software company, I've recently gotten involved in the whole open source phenomenon as started by Linus Torvaldes and Richard Stallman with the release of the GNU/Linux operating system (or is it Linux? I'm not too sure on this point).
Anyway, after having compiled a report on the commercial viability of open source as an alternative to closed source in the e-commerce/b2b world, I've become quite interested in Linux myself, and thanks to a handy Corel Linux distribution, consider myself to be someway to becoming a "guru" as people here like to call themselves.
Anyway, my point is that even though powerful to use, Linux, as a distribution, doesn't give out the professional image that is needed at the moment. On one hand, you've got respectable players like Red Hat, Corel and SCO pushing Linux's corporate image to new levels of respectibility, but on the other hand you've got a distribution named "Slackware", hardly the name your tech-savvy CTO wants to represent a core part of their enterprise solution.
The whole name seems to give the distribution a half-finished, "slack" even, image, surely not one that's in anybody's best interest, whether they be the average long-haired Linux sysadmin or a suited CTO looking for the next big thing. And this image taints all of Linux.
No, whilst most distros may be decent, they definitely need to think about a name change to ensure increased trolling potential on slashdot.
BRINGING JonKatz ALONG
CmdrTaco answered the doorbell, saw Hemos, and turned around
walking away and clapping his hands.
"Hot damn! Got some juicy porn flicks for us tonight,
buddy."
"Hope so," Hemos said, ushering a third guy in, then closing
the door. CmdrTaco turned.
"Uh, who's this?"
"That's JonKatz. He's a queer," Hemos stated flatly, taking
off his jacket and throwing it over a chair.
"What?" CmdrTaco frowned, looking JonKatz up and down. "Uh,
what'd you bring a queer along for?"
"Instead of sitting there like a couple of idgits with our
hands down our pants, I figured we'd do it up good. Strip down
and let him lick us while we watch porn."
"You're weird, man!" CmdrTaco shook his head.
"Nuts. You'd like to lick CmdrTaco's cock and balls, wouldn't
you, JonKatz?"
JonKatz stood there nervously, staring directly at CmdrTaco's
crotch. "Unh huh."
"See, I told ya."
"I don't care. I ain't gonna let no faggot mess with me!"
"Suit yourself. You'll change your mind once you see him
working me over. He's got a wicked tongue. A real special
talent. Besides that, he's a nasty little punk. You like doing
nasty things, doncha, JonKatz?"
JonKatz nodded up and down, a stupid smile on his face.
"Whadda you mean, nasty? Cocksuckin' another dude is nasty
enough."
Hemos took CmdrTaco by the shoulders and turned him around.
"JonKatz, how'd you like to ram your tongue up my buddy's hairy
butthole? Look good to ya?"
JonKatz's eyes lit up and his tongue did an obscene little
swirl. "YOU BET!"
"WHAT?!" CmdrTaco cried.
"Pop a tape in, man. I'm ready to get started." He began to
remove his pants and shirt. "JonKatz sucks assholes, dude. JonKatz
loves to suck assholes. Wait'll you see him sucking mine out."
"Are you doped up or what? I don't wanna see him suckin'
your shithole, man!"
"Oh, you will, buddy. Then you'll throw your legs up and
beg him to drill his tongue up your keester."
"Hey, do what you want. Just stay down at that end of the
couch, okay?"
Hemos sat bare-assed on the couch, sprawling his legs out.
CmdrTaco took a few furtive glances at his buddy's nakedness, then
averted his eyes as he pushed the remote. He sighed disgustedly
when JonKatz also took his clothes off, although he was somewhat
glad the guy wasn't some ugly old troll.
"Hey, JonKatz," Hemos said, fiddling with his balls, "go and
bring us all beers."
JonKatz hopped up and went into the kitchen.
"Are you serious?!" CmdrTaco hissed after he left.
"Trust me, man. Just treat him like a punk slave. He'll do
anything you say. Come on, take your fuckin' clothes off and
get into it."
Reluctantly, CmdrTaco began to strip. When JonKatz came back, he
saw CmdrTaco's big cock and whistled appraisingly. CmdrTaco blushed.
"Nice big honker, hunh, JonKatz?" Hemos said, looking his
buddy's cock over. "Got you drooling, thinking about the two
big loads you're gonna get? We used to jerk each other off when
we were kids. CmdrTaco shoots a big wad."
"Jeez, don't tell him that!" CmdrTaco cried.
"Why not? You do."
"I don't mean that, I mean...the other."
"Cripes, you've turned into such a pussy. Ever jerked off
with your straight buddies when you were younger, JonKatz?"
"Sure. All the time. Then I started sucking 'em. They dug
it, but then they eventually gave me the heave-ho."
"Stupid fucks," Hemos growled, taking a swig of his beer. He
leaned over and rustled JonKatz's hair. "I wouldn't have done
that. I would have fed you cock all through junior high and
high school. Some guys just don't know when they've got
something cooking. Woah, nice pussy! Get a load of the meat on
that fucker, too. Bet you'd like to sucker the jizz outta that
guy's balls, hunh, JonKatz?"
"Yeah, but I'd really to suck his hairy asshole!" JonKatz
replied.
"Bet he'd let ya. You really get off on bungs, doncha? You
like smelling 'em, too, doncha? Sure dig sniffin' mine. I was
pretty ripe the other day, wasn't I?" His cock was up hard and
he was fisting it slowly.
"You sure were...real ripe!"
"But you liked it that way, didn't you?"
"I sure did, Hemos! Got a stinky one tonight?"
"Better than stinky, man. That's why I'm sitting on my
shirt. Don't wanna get any butt slime on CmdrTaco's couch." He
chuckled while CmdrTaco gasped.
"Aw, that's filthy, man! Are you sitting there with a
shitty asshole?"
"Hey, I'm on an old shirt. Relax."
"Are you saying that queer...licks shitty assholes?!"
"I don't know. This is the first time I've offered it to
him dirty. JonKatz, you still wanna suck my ass?"
"Absolutely!" JonKatz gushed, crawling between Hemos's legs.
"I'll lick it clean for you. I like 'em kinda raunchy, but
if there's shit on it I don't mind licking it off."
"If CmdrTaco lifted his legs up and he had a ring of crap
all around his hole, would you lick it off for him?"
"Sure. I'd eat CmdrTaco's shit. I mean, I'd lick it off his
asshole."
"Here, lick it off mine. No sense messing up this shirt."
He grabbed his knees and pulled them back. CmdrTaco stared in shock
as JonKatz stuck his face up to Hemos's butt and began to sniff
and lick his hairy ass. "Watch this, CmdrTaco."
"Jeez, what about the movie?" CmdrTaco whined.
"Fuck the video. This is real. Watch how he licks off my
shithole."
JonKatz's tongue was bathing Hemos's entire crack. He loved
the smelly thing and soon had his tongue circling Hemos's shitty
hole. Hemos even reached down and pulled his cheeks apart,
letting the astonished CmdrTaco get a good peek. CmdrTaco couldn't help
staring as JonKatz cleaned his buddy's dirty crapper.
"Oh, this is the life!" Hemos moaned, throwing his head back
and glancing over at CmdrTaco. "When something gets dirty, just
have your personal slave lick it. He cleans my armpits and even
sucks the grunge from between my toes. He'll do anything you
ask him to, CmdrTaco. Just tell him what you want."
"Yeah, what if I wanted to SHIT on him?!" CmdrTaco snarled in
contempt.
"Go ahead. Hell, shit in his mouth if you want. Yeah, I'd
like to see that myself. You'd let CmdrTaco take a shit in your
mouth if I wanted, wouldn't you, JonKatz?"
"Um, gee, I guess so, Hemos, if you wanted me to. I've never
done that...sucked on a turd, I mean. I'd rather do it to you,
Hemos. For the first one, anyway."
"See, what'd I tell you? Well, I might be all shitted out,
so maybe we'll have to postpone the turdsuck for another time.
But suck me out real good, JonKatz. Maybe there's a leftover
turdball up there. If you can suck one out, there's a good
chance we can get CmdrTaco to take a poop for you."
"You're insane!" CmdrTaco cried, shaking his head. But he
continued to watch JonKatz eat out his buddy's splayed bunghole
...keeping a close eye out for any turdballs that might come
flying out. Not that he particularly wanted to see one.
"Mmmm, clean me out. Eat that shitty hole. Aw, look at him
slopping out my turdhole, CmdrTaco. Lots of shitjuice going down
his throat and he's happy as all fuck."
"Gee, Hemos, maybe he'd like to drink your enema," CmdrTaco said
sarcastically. "Oh, that's too demented to even suggest!"
"NO!" JonKatz piped up.
Hemos laughed. "Naw, that's more perverted than fun."
"I'm sorry I even mentioned it," CmdrTaco whined.
"Oooh, he's gettin' my hole loosened up. Maybe if I bear
down. If I plop out a little turd in his mouth, Hemos you go
through with it, CmdrTaco?"
"You know, just to show you how disgusting this all is, I
just might. Yeah, I'll fuckin' shit in his mouth, just so
you'll have to smell my shit!"
"Wouldn't be the first time, pal. I've followed you in the
bathroom before. You suck and I'll push, JonKatz. If that doesn't
work, maybe you can scoop some out with your fingers."
"I don't mind eating your shit off my fingers, Hemos," JonKatz
said, "but it won't be the same as a big turd in my mouth."
"You're right. Bad idea. Unless you just wanna scoop some
out anyway."
"Why can't you guys just do some normal cocksucking and
forget the shit?"
"Yeah, my hole's clean. Crawl over and see if CmdrTaco's ready
to let you lick his prick."
CmdrTaco had a stiff rail in his hand, despite everything else.
He sighed in resignation, and pushed his boner down between his
spread legs, letting the eager JonKatz lick the crown.
"Uh, yeah, that's okay. What the hell. I've let a couple
fags go down on me in the past. Go ahead and suck it if you
want."
"That's the spirit, CmdrTaco! But let him treat you, don't go
blowing your load too soon. And when you're ready, just lift
your legs and tell him to lick your ass."
After JonKatz slobbered over CmdrTaco's knob and teased up and
down his shaft for a while, CmdrTaco was getting turned on much too
fast. He pulled his cock from JonKatz's mouth and lifted his
thighs.
"Alright," he sighed with false reluctance, "Go on. Might
as well get my ass sucked for all this baloney you're putting
me through." He stared at the ceiling--a feined attempt to
disassociate himself from what was happening.
"Aw, poor baby," Hemos chuckled, making CmdrTaco laugh, too.
Then CmdrTaco let out a quiet little gasp as JonKatz's wet tongue
began to circle his hairy anus.
"Ah, fuck!" He lifted his thighs more and held his knees
back. "If you're gonna eat out my shithole, man, go for it! Oh,
god, I didn't know I was so sensitive down there. Oh, that's a
great sensation!"
"You got him hooked, JonKatz baby," Hemos cried, getting down
on the floor to watch. "Make him squirm. Lick that hairy
stinkhole and show him whose tongue is boss. Make him quiver
like you did me that first time. Look at him holding those legs
back, offering everything he's got. Eat that smelly hole!" Hemos
looked up at CmdrTaco and winked. "Kinda neat having a faggot
between your cheeks cleaning out your shitty asshole, isn't it?
And the best part is he likes the way you smell down there and
he likes the way you taste. He's gonna ram his long tongue up
your hot turdhole and try to lick out your steamy rectum!"
Then he turned back to JonKatz. "How's he taste?"
"Oh, he's delicious! And his smell doesn't go away after
licking it, cause it's so hairy, I guess. Best smelling asshole
I ever smelled. I could keep my nose in here for a week!"
"Well, buddy, guess your shit does stink better than mine."
"Oh, that's, I mean..." JonKatz stammered, "I still love
yours, Hemos."
"Heh. Just eat. I know enough about bungsuckers to know
that the sweetest asshole in the world is the one they happen to
be eating out at the moment." He sat down next to CmdrTaco, raised
his own legs, then grabbed CmdrTaco's hand and wrapped it around
his prick while taking CmdrTaco's big cock in hand. Then he
grinned. "Hell, we might as well trade handjobs while he
tickles our innards."
CmdrTaco was about to take his hand away, but the feel and
texture of his buddy's cock felt comfortably familiar. "Guess
one more time wouldn't hurt."
"Hell, I never did want to stop. Even after we started
getting chicks, I could have gone for a wild meat-beating with
you now and then. And it's a lot safer now."
"How's that?"
"Well, with a cocksucker to do our bidding, we won't be
tempted to try it out."
"I never was tempted to try that!" CmdrTaco said defensively.
"Fuck you and the big balls you rode in on! I thought about
it, and I know you did, too. We were both just too chicken,
that's all."
"Yeah. Well, good thing we got a cocksucker, right?"
"Right. How's your bunghole feeling?"
"Ah, good! Makes me think about something else we never
tried." He chuckled.
"Hey, we're big boys now. You can stick it up my hole if I
can stick it up yours! And JonKatz can suck our cocks clean!"
"Fuck each other like a bitch, hunh?"
"Yep. Then we can both fuck JonKatz."
"And I'll still lick your pricks clean!" JonKatz blurted out,
smiling.
Mad propz to shitty asshole licking.
:o)
Fuck you in the assssssssssssssssssssssss...
The worst terrorist attack in recorded history occurred last month, and now we're involved in a WAR and you people have the gall to be discussing HP's Digital-Audio Entertainment Box???? My *god*, people, GET SOME PRIORITIES!
The bodies of the thousands of innocent civilians who died (and will die) in these unprecedented events could give a good god damn about HP's Digital-Audio Entertainment Box, your childish Lego models, your nerf toy guns and whining about the lack of a "fun" workplace, your Everquest/Diablo/D&D fixation, the latest Cowboy Bebop rerun, or any of the other ways you are "getting on with your life" (here's a hint: watching Cowboy Bebop in your jammies and eating a bowl of Shreddies is *not* "getting on with your life"). The souls of the victims are watching in horror as you people squander your finite, precious time on this earth playing video games!
You people disgust me!
An interview with http://lcamtuf.coredump.cx/catty.shtml......
you> freeBSD is dying
catty> where is freeBSD?
you> what do you like best about linux?
catty> what do i like best about this coffee maker ?
you> Do you have fake breasts?
catty> i have great looking breasts
you> What is the secret of death?
catty> what is the exact scientific definition of death ?
you> Fuck me, mighty bitch!
catty> bitches are for fuckin
you> Suck my cock
catty> then go suck your pika cock and lick bills ass
you> Do you like slashdot?
catty> yuuup
you> Are you a karma whore?
catty> unless i am a whore slut ass kissing prostitute
you> What is your opinion of the new SMP code in freeBSD 5.0 ?
catty> in my opinion it is better than the prussic
you> Are you active on #linux on dalnet?
catty> if i am not running linux
you> Which is better, KDE or Gnome ?
catty> which one is better ?
you> Answer the question! KDE or Gnome ?
catty> question and the answer is yes
you> Do you like KDE ?
catty> do i like writing stories ?
you> Do you like Gnome ?
catty> do i like hello kitty ?
you> Emacs or VI ?
catty> emacs vi and pico are available for windows
you> Do you run X ?
catty> why do i run to the window everytime a car drives by ?
you> You are starting to make no sense
catty> i am just starting to use a jmerrils sendsmtp
you> Oh, that explains it. Thanks for your time
catty> thanks for my time that was a very interesting