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Ballmer, Gates on Microsoft's Future
RoadFever writes: "At the Microsoft shareholders meeting, CEO Ballmer acknowledged they may have a popularity bug. "We understand, based upon the fact that our industry didn't rally to support us, that we need to change the way we interact and relate to our industry," Ballmer said.
There's a summary article in the Seattle Times and more stuff on the Microsoft investor relations page.
Will words translate to action? Well, the company might want to start by toning down the habit of taking credit for every innovation: "Really, the reason you see open source there at all is because we came in and said there should be a platform that's identical with millions and millions of machines," Gates said." The question-and-answer session near the end of the meeting has the most juicy quotes.
So wait...did Al Gore or Bill Gates invent the internet?
Slashdot, the site where everything's made up and the points don't matter
He's right on that. A local radio station has been running the following spoof of an XP commercial every morning:
(Madonna music in background)
Q: With XP, can I burn CD's?
A: Yes, you can.
Q: Can I send email?
A: Yes, you can.
Q: Can I create an internet virus?
A: Yes, you can.
Q: Can I download female-on-female animal porn?
A: Yes, you can.
Q: Can I install XP myself without help?
A: Not f***in' likely!
A: Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers!
Q: Uh, never mind... please stop dancing around, Mr. Ballmer, and for god's sake, man, use some fuckin' anti-perspirant!
Surely he means popularity "feature"!
I'm sure Ballmer does not have a "publicity" bug-- it looks more like ebola or something, and he's not afraid to go out in public with it.
XML is like violence. If it doesn't solve the problem, use more.
"And so it was very predictable that once we had gotten the PC going, and going and gotten hundreds of millions of machines out there, that it had always been sort of free software and the universities would flourish and there would be more of that."
I, for one, am glad that Microsoft came along. After all, what would we do without the universities?
Let's try not to let fact interfere with our speculation here, OK?
Gates also took some credit for the genesis of open-source software. He said Microsoft made it possible by standardizing computers: "Really, the reason you see open source there at all is because we came in and said there should be a platform that's identical with millions and millions of machines," he said.
Wow, thanks for the info Bill. I didn't know you guys did hardware! And open source was your creation? Really! Did you invent the internet also, or was Al Gore lying to us?
Got Freedom?
Thinking?
Gates also took some credit for the genesis of open-source software. He said Microsoft made it possible by standardizing
computers: "Really, the reason you see open source there at all is because we came in and said there should be a platform that's
identical with millions and millions of machines," he said.
Well Bill, you're right. You are the reason for open-source software. Just not for the reasons you think you are.
Dick.
The only tool you've got against psychosis is experience.
So wat he's saying is that the mass adoption of their inflexible software has driven people to create open products that will meet their needs, or am I misinterpreting him ? ;)
Yeah, that's kinda like Osama bin Laden patting himself on the back for doing his part to beef up airport security.
I take drugs seriously.
Here's a different look at Microsoft's future.
standards-based system of software (Office, Windows, etc)
Something in this sentence does not beling.
Reboot macht Frei.
I can see it now... Microsoft meets Slashdot... Microdot, news for sheep, stuff that we think matters
I am not your blowing wind, I am the lightning.
Repeat after me. MSTDs. Lets get it to catch on. Just imagine how pissed Bill will be.
(slap me down if you must, but I can't keep this one from slipping out)
A new Movie about Microsoft:
forget Antitrust, wait till you see:
Crouching Monopolist, Hidden Agenda.
If it is not on fire, it is a software problem.
I interpret what really happened in this other way:
l ash-results
BALLMER: After 20 years of backstabing, copying other's innovations, playing Mafia-games with IT companies, abusing our consumers and stealing children's bubblegum, we have gotten a slap on the wrist by the DoJ. Surely this means something.
GATES: If I might add a few words...
BALLMER:, Sure, Bill, go on.
GATES: Our impressive innovation Laboratories -MS-iLabs , (c) (R) - show that actualy being nice to customers can help selling our product...
AUDIENCE: (gasps, mutted comments of surprise, a few horror screams)
BALLMER: Be quiet back there! It is true! You can get the results in ExcelXP format at dubya-dubya-dubya-microsoft-dot-com-slash-ilabs-s
GATES: In fact, in a demo-test carried over at Poukeespie-upon-Avon (Yorkshire, UK) with a cautive population, we discovered that WindowsXP-SE was being bought by people that had no history of verbal-and-phisycal abuse by part of our marketing representatives.
SOMEONE IN THE AUDIENCE: Don't you think that having both legs not-broken could help? I mean, last year, in the ASF file that you showed us about training methods for Microsoft Certified Marketing Representatives , they were being trained in "MS-Leg-Breaking-As-A-Buying-Stimulous 101". Maybe we should change this module to "MS-**ARM-TWISTING**-As-A-Buying-Stimulous 101" instead of playing nice...
AUDIENCE: Yeah! yeah! that sounds more sensible!
GATES: Please! Calm down! I personally worked with the MS-iLabs environment definition and I can assure you that the results are true!
AUDIENCE: but... but.... We Want Blood! We Want Blood! We Want Blood!
CATS: All Your Base Are Belong To Us!
CATS: Make Your Time!
BILL: HAHAHAHA
BALMER: Take Off Every ZiggyXP!!!!
Yes, yes he can be very clueless about how other people think. He doesn't understand why people are upset with his company. He doesn't understand why people might not like his product. Some people have suggested that he seems a little autistic.
;)
Who does that remind you of?
"Smithers, are they booing me?"
"No...uh, they're saying, 'Boo-urns! Boo-urns!'"
Would that be the abortion of a word you have tacked on the end of your sentence?