Slashdot Mirror
The Humble Space Telescope
frank249 writes " How would you like to do your own astronomy research with a space-based telescope? Sounds unlikely? Perhaps today, since there's only one available, and NASA has it booked pretty solid. However, this is about to change. The Canadian Space Agency just signed a contract to launch Canada's first space telescope, is scheduled to be launched in October 2002. If successful, millions of astronomers worldwide will have access to a more humble version of NASA's Hubble via the internet. It is scheduled to be launched in October 2002 as part of a multiple payload mission from Plesetsk, Russia, on an SS-19 based launch vehicle called Rockot. The SS-19 was supposed to be destroyed as part of an Arms reduction treaty so why not get some use out of it?" And it's so cute, it looks like mod furniture.
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Great. Now you now a troll is going to 'script-kiddie' the telescope to point to a photo of goats.cx for everyone to enjoy.
I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
Just kidding, my frosty neighbors to the north...
Random Musings at Rum Smuggler
I was born in a small hospital outside Portland in 1974. I was a rather large newborn, about 14 pounds. My mother thought I would grow to be 300 pounds by age 10. She was right. Now that I am 27, I weigh in at 715 pounds. My height is 4 feet 8 inches. Sometimes I try hiring a prostitute to play "games" with me, but they often decline my job offer. This has caused me great anguish since I first met a hooker at age 11. Now, I no longer attempt to find hookers to please my sausage. The internet has fulfilled my dreams. In 1999, I was introduced to Slashdot. There I met great people just like me: Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda and Jon Katz. I gained great encouragement from them as they bore their testimony to me. I learned they too had a difficult time hiring hookers simply because of their massive, gravitational weight.
Rob explained how he overcame his desire to buy hookers by learning the technique of "kernel compiling." This advanced Native-American sexual act is performed by compacting handfuls of corn grain into the anus. After a few moments of settling, the corn grain begins to stimulate the prostate. Eventually, the grain will begin expanding due to the moisture of the anus. Often the sensation of gerbeling (inserting a rodent into the anus) is described as the feeling. Rob said he performed a kernel compile "every other day" until a hooker was the last person on his mind. Corn became his new play toy. Unfortunately, Rob began having violent erections at the mere thought of vegetables. His friend Jon "Vegan" Katz, came to the rescue by offering to desensitize him with man-sausage. (You know what I mean by man sausage.) Now Rob is neither attracted to hookers nor vegetables.
Katz is a great guy. He offered me support too. As a teenager, he started gaining weight. By the age of 20, Katz weighed 500 pounds! But he learned that weight doesn't affect sexual desire one bit!! He still continued to attend all the gay "movie parties" at the local theatre. During matinee showings of Rock and Roll High School, he would make out with all the hot fat guys in the back of the theatre. Sometimes Katz even had "bathroom breaks." This really intrigued me that a guy who weighed 500+ pounds didn't feel ashamed about his homosexuality. I had the chance to meet Katz at a Portland book signing last year. We had dinner together and discussed my issues with female hookers. He persuaded me to try man-sausage for just one night. I agreed. It wasn't what I expected, though. Without going into many details, Katz just thrusted his tool down my throat until he was gratified. Then, he went down on my tool. I never ejaculated because I was just plain horrified at the time. Katz apologized for his straightforwardness. I apologized for not really being "gay enough" for his taste of men. But we talked more after that. Now we correspond occasionally and plan to meet again in Las Vegas at Comdex 2002. Though I never turned to the hardcore gay lifestyle of Katz, my desire for cheap hookers declined after we met. I owe Katz a big debt for his help.