KOffice 1.1.1 Ships

Dre writes: "The KOffice team has announced the release of KOffice 1.1.1. It's mainly a performance, printing fixes (particularly in KWord) and stability release, but see the ChangeLog for the full scoop. Lots of binary packages are listed in the announcement this time. The dot is suggesting this might be the last KOffice release before KDE 3.0, which is almost on track for a late-February stable release (the first beta is being released this week)."

Comments

awe yeah

[doooras]

(k)Word Up! i've been waiting for this for a lizong time!

must have KDE 3, too... ::drool::

I've got a copy right here....

[Genghis Troll]

jammed up my ass.

Re:I've got a copy right here....

[Openly Gay Troll]

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Encounter with the Mystery Flute Man

[Sweet Buttery Anus]

I routinely commute between Bangore, Maine and Washington D.C. once every week for work. The drive is long and uneventful usually, yes I know, but the scratch is decent. To keep myself from going insane, I'll usually catch some tunes on the radio stations that I like along the way or even listen to something out of my CD collection if I'm really bored. I-95 gets pretty dull once you're several hours into the drive, so I like to stop every four hours or so to strech my legs, fill the car up with gas, and grab a bite to eat. I'm particularly fond of Friendly's, and stop there quite often as my company picks up the tab for all travel related expenses, plus compensation.

I decided to stop there one evening on the way back up to Bangor. The patty melt is ususally pretty good and I mostly get that combo platter, but this time I decided to try the pastrami melt. It was generally satisfying. However, an hour into my resumed trip, I entered the Boston area and started to get a bit of rumbling in the bowels. I broke wind several times, but the gastro-intestinal rumbling was getting so unbearable along with the stench, that I had to pull over at a Buck Horn Truck Stop. It was so bad,that I was barely able to hold the runny shit inside my bowels before I took down my boxers and let loose. The first wave of semi-solid feces was forced out by an explosive firehose of runny turds and wattery diarreah, and I screamed in agony; butthole stinging from the festering shit water that was splashing back up onto my ass.

I recovered after several minutes of dabbing at my asshole with that crapy cheap non-quilted toilet paper, and eased my ass back into my pants as to buy some pepto bismol from the gift shop. The beast in my lower abdomen needed to be calmed before I got on the road again.

It's common for me to leave unflushed shit in the toilets that I use, as to make the life of whatever minimum wage loser that has to clean it up that much worse. This was a special occasion! The toilet was nearly ready to spill over. Perfection had been achieved, or so I thought.

Mere seconds after my retreat from the stinking commode, a rather stalky man with a huge beer gut barged into the bathroom like some drunken vagrant, stinking almost as badly as my unflushed Cosby Kids. Sporting a rather unkept greasy beard, he butted his half-smoked joint onto the piss soaked floor and crept up behind me while I was washing my hands. I did not get a decent look at what he had contained in his other hand, but no sooner did he rush up behind me and jammed what felt like the barrel of a pistol into the lower of my back. "Don't move unless I tell you to." he blurted out messily. "I'll kill you if you move, now drop your pants." "Look, man, you can have my wallet, I don't care. I won't report you, just don't kill me," I replied. The stalky man responded in a gruff "That ain't gonna cut it, drop your pants now." So I did as he asked. "Now take down the boxers too," he remarked.

"Oh god!" I thought to myself "I'm going to get raped in the ass at a fucking truck stop" and I did just as he asked. He prodded my already tender and sore asshole several times with the object he had jammed into my back, presumably the barrel of a pistol. I winced in pain, but dared not make noise. "Bend over, you're gonna take it hard like Linus does. Right in the sweet buttery cornhole. You're going to take it from me! The great RMS! AHAHAHAHAH!!!!!"

"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit" I thought over and over again while I proceeded to bend over the sink, when I finally caught a glimpse of my assailant in the sink mirror. The son of a bitch was jamming the mouthpiece end of a fucking flute into my back and asshole. A FUCKING FLUTE! I quickly pulled my pants back up, and shoved the greasy fuck away from me. I quickly pulled my 4.5" serrated Gerber lockback knife out of my right pocket while the madman tooted away on the mouthpiece end of the defiled flute. Quickly dashing at him, I was able to subdue the rapist son of a bitch and grip him firmly by his long hippie scalp.

I held the knife to his throat and yelled "You fuck! It's time to eat shit!" I forced his fat head and person into the stall, down into the shit I had left in the commode miniutes earlier. I recall the warmth of the shitbath being about lukewarm as I plunged his head multiple times into the crapper. "Nobody fucks with me on my fucking commute, you piece of shit!" I screamed at him as I kept dunking his head into the spoiled chunks and bacteria and finally applied a hefty blow to the base of his skull; leaving him passed out face down in my feces.

I left the truck stop after calmly purchasing a travel size bottle of pepto, downed the sucker, and eventually made it home in time to watch the conclusion of CHiPS.

If you have any further information on my assailant, I've included an artist's rendering of him here

Just whacked off

[Anonymous Coward]

again to a old pic of Natalie Portman.

I didn't have any hot grits handy tho :(

Page-lengthening fools!

[The WIPO Troll]

THE OFFICIAL TACO-SNOTTING FAQ By The WIPO Troll, $Revision: 1.14 $

Why do I keep receiving emails from someone calling himself "CmdrTaco"?

You have been receiving email from a certain Robert "CmdrTaco" Malda, owner of the popular technology website Slashdot. Actually, it's not a very "popular" site in the common sense of the word; the site is rife with pimply, antisocial geeks, zit-faced nerds, communists, dirty GNU hippies, and other societal rejects and outcasts. It's also home to one of the world's largest pædophile ring, the infamous "Slashdot crew."

Whenever Mr. Malda gets bored (and who wouldn't, running a site like Slashdot all day), he roams through the user database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual activities with him. How he determines this is anyone's guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with a letter of the English alphabet in it, you're in trouble.

This time, he found you. Lucky you.

He seems to be speaking in some sort of code. Do you know what it means?

CmdrTaco's code language is relatively easy to decipher. He prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo to evade the watchful (but relatively stupid) eye of Slashdot's parent corporation, VA Software. Mr. Malda's "Commander" is, of course, his penis -- a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants and only comes out in the presence of other male geeks or at the beck and call of CmdrTaco's own lubed-up right hand. His "Taco bells" are the shriveled testicles that droop beneath his Commander, and his "Taco sauce" is his thick, gooey semen. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means if he asked you to "ring his Taco bells" or "taste his gourmet Taco sauce."

I would guess he also asked you to engage in a practice known as "Taco-snotting" and, if he was in a particularly depraved mood at the time, a "circle-snot."

Good Lord. What is "Taco-snotting?"

"Taco-snotting" is the term used by CmdrTaco to refer to the act of fellating a homosexual man (or unwilling heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumoured to prefer rape), then blowing the semen out his nose onto the face and body of his partner or victim. Naturally, a long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is left on CmdrTaco's face, dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, "Taco-snotting."

A "circle-snot" is a Taco-snotting circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel, and Homos get together and snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum -- spooging their jizz-snot all over each other's faces and pasty, white bodies, until they're covered head to toe with their own and each other's man juice. This vile ritual can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limo service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.

To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The whole group then proceeds to snot each other's spunk and whip each other's pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.

Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?

Hopefully.

You most likely forgot to uncheck the "Willing to Taco-snot" checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad, and he's probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube. There's no escaping a geek in heat, so it's probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTaco's sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on Messages, and uncheck the box next to "Willing to Taco-snot." Maybe he'll ignore you. Probably not.

I can't stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?

If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge... oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).

Have you ever been Taco-Snotted?

Unfortunately, yes. I first met CmdrTaco at an Open Source Convention. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some "gourmet Tacos," but when I got there, he jumped me and tied me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his "Commander" out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm... then he snotted my own milky-white jizz back onto my face, into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.

CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, "Open Sauce" -- man sauce) buddies over to continue the twisted snotfest. Linux Torvalds raped my ass with his "monolithic kernel," and Anal Cox used his "network stack" in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice in my defenseless body. Michael was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about "all those Censorware freaks out to get him."

How did you finally escape, you ask? After about 16 hours of countless homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant; I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door. I'm just glad I survived the ordeal. These geeks had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads -- I could've easily been drowned!

That's horrible. Does "Taco-snotting" have anything to do with CmdrTaco's "special taco"?

No, that's a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. CmdrTaco is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games. WeatherTroll has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):

You may be wondering what CmdrTaco's "special taco" is. You will be wishing that you hadn't been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his "special taco", CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and shits on it. He then adds lettuce, jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim.

After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTaco's nefarious sexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victim's ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved.

Completely different, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that CmdrTaco is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.

Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a pædophile, not a homosexual.

Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual pædophile. He's also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zophile. Jon Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesn't involve himself in circle-snots. Mr. Katz usually engages in a game called " Katz juicy-douching" with his harem of little-boy slaves: a vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boy's urine (forced out of them with a pair of pliers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then squirting and slathering the goo all over himself, and the little boy's chained-up and naked bodies. If he's in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag and just squirt it from his ass onto his boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pliers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them for the rest of their lives.

As I already said, Mr. Katz is also a zophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys aren't enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goat's anus. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goat's small, bean-like turds.

...Are you getting hard writing this?

Why, yes. :) Join me in a WIPO-snot?

No, thanks. I'm already CmdrTaco's boi toi.

________________________________________

• The URL of this document is http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=267426 &id=2346.
• Previous revisions are maintained at http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=308209.

$Id: tacosnotting.html,v 1.14 2001/12/18 09:01:22 wipo Exp $

Copyright © 2001 The WIPO Troll. Verbatim crapflooding of this document is permitted in any medium, provided this copyright notice is preserved, and next time you take a dump, you think of the WIPO Troll and all he's done to make Slashdot a better place.

it's about time i fucked Tux up the ass

[Anonymous Coward]

I grabbed tux's breasts firmly in my strong hands
while gently poking and proding around his anal
regions with my throbbing member. When enough
pre-cum had emerged from my tip, I knew the time
was right. I started to push my big juicy cock
into the penguin's tight, open-source ass. Tux
let out a gentle moan.

Slowly, bit by bit, I burried my big dick deep
into his ass. Tremors of both pain and delight
excaped his beak as I surged forward! Overcome
by powerful desire, I gradually increased the
speed and depth of my thrusts.

It quickly became more than the little penguin
could handle.

The pleasure consumed me! I had to keep on
thrusting, even though Tux was screaming in pain!
Eventually, my cock began to aggitate Tux's tight
ass to the point where it began bleeding. Tears
seemed to stream down his eyes as I continued to
fuck his ass harder and harder.

Before long, the sensation of orgasm was upon me
and I could no longer hold back. I convulsed,
spilling into the ass all of my spunk with such
force as to render Tux's intestine's apart! The
pressure forced a stream of feces, blood, and
semen out of his rectum, dripping onto the floor
at an alarming pace.

Tux's body was limp by this point.

Only wanting to fulfill my desires further, I
grabbed Tux's limp neck and shoved his nose into
the pile of shit, jizz, and blood. I made him
choke it down... gulp after gulp.

Soon, Tux was dead. I had killed the penguin,
but it was the best anal sex I had ever had.

Re:Imagine rough anal sex with Tux

[Anonymous Coward]

I grabbed tux's breasts firmly in my strong hands
while gently poking and proding around his anal
regions with my throbbing member. When enough
pre-cum had emerged from my tip, I knew the time
was right. I started to push my big juicy cock
into the penguin's tight, open-source ass. Tux
let out a gentle moan.

Slowly, bit by bit, I burried my big dick deep
into his ass. Tremors of both pain and delight
excaped his beak as I surged forward! Overcome
by powerful desire, I gradually increased the
speed and depth of my thrusts.

It quickly became more than the little penguin
could handle.

The pleasure consumed me! I had to keep on
thrusting, even though Tux was screaming in pain!
Eventually, my cock began to aggitate Tux's tight
ass to the point where it began bleeding. Tears
seemed to stream down his eyes as I continued to
fuck his ass harder and harder.

Before long, the sensation of orgasm was upon me
and I could no longer hold back. I convulsed,
spilling into the ass all of my spunk with such
force as to render Tux's intestine's apart! The
pressure forced a stream of feces, blood, and
semen out of his rectum, dripping onto the floor
at an alarming pace.

Tux's body was limp by this point.

Only wanting to fulfill my desires further, I
grabbed Tux's limp neck and shoved his nose into
the pile of shit, jizz, and blood. I made him
choke it down... gulp after gulp.

Soon, Tux was dead. I had killed the penguin,
but it was the best anal sex I had ever had.

Re:My Powerpoint in Tux's ass

[Anonymous Coward]

I grabbed tux's breasts firmly in my strong hands
while gently poking and proding around his anal
regions with my throbbing member. When enough
pre-cum had emerged from my tip, I knew the time
was right. I started to push my big juicy cock
into the penguin's tight, open-source ass. Tux
let out a gentle moan.

Slowly, bit by bit, I burried my big dick deep
into his ass. Tremors of both pain and delight
excaped his beak as I surged forward! Overcome
by powerful desire, I gradually increased the
speed and depth of my thrusts.

It quickly became more than the little penguin
could handle.

The pleasure consumed me! I had to keep on
thrusting, even though Tux was screaming in pain!
Eventually, my cock began to aggitate Tux's tight
ass to the point where it began bleeding. Tears
seemed to stream down his eyes as I continued to
fuck his ass harder and harder.

Before long, the sensation of orgasm was upon me
and I could no longer hold back. I convulsed,
spilling into the ass all of my spunk with such
force as to render Tux's intestine's apart! The
pressure forced a stream of feces, blood, and
semen out of his rectum, dripping onto the floor
at an alarming pace.

Tux's body was limp by this point.

Only wanting to fulfill my desires further, I
grabbed Tux's limp neck and shoved his nose into
the pile of shit, jizz, and blood. I made him
choke it down... gulp after gulp.

Soon, Tux was dead. I had killed the penguin,
but it was the best anal sex I had ever had.

Re:My experiences with Tux

[Anonymous Coward]

I grabbed tux's breasts firmly in my strong hands
while gently poking and proding around his anal
regions with my throbbing member. When enough
pre-cum had emerged from my tip, I knew the time
was right. I started to push my big juicy cock
into the penguin's tight, open-source ass. Tux
let out a gentle moan.

Slowly, bit by bit, I burried my big dick deep
into his ass. Tremors of both pain and delight
excaped his beak as I surged forward! Overcome
by powerful desire, I gradually increased the
speed and depth of my thrusts.

It quickly became more than the little penguin
could handle.

The pleasure consumed me! I had to keep on
thrusting, even though Tux was screaming in pain!
Eventually, my cock began to aggitate Tux's tight
ass to the point where it began bleeding. Tears
seemed to stream down his eyes as I continued to
fuck his ass harder and harder.

Before long, the sensation of orgasm was upon me
and I could no longer hold back. I convulsed,
spilling into the ass all of my spunk with such
force as to render Tux's intestine's apart! The
pressure forced a stream of feces, blood, and
semen out of his rectum, dripping onto the floor
at an alarming pace.

Tux's body was limp by this point.

Only wanting to fulfill my desires further, I
grabbed Tux's limp neck and shoved his nose into
the pile of shit, jizz, and blood. I made him
choke it down... gulp after gulp.

Soon, Tux was dead. I had killed the penguin,
but it was the best anal sex I had ever had.

i'm not trolling either... hehehehe

[Anonymous Coward]

I grabbed tux's breasts firmly in my strong hands
while gently poking and proding around his anal
regions with my throbbing member. When enough
pre-cum had emerged from my tip, I knew the time
was right. I started to push my big juicy cock
into the penguin's tight, open-source ass. Tux
let out a gentle moan.

Slowly, bit by bit, I burried my big dick deep
into his ass. Tremors of both pain and delight
excaped his beak as I surged forward! Overcome
by powerful desire, I gradually increased the
speed and depth of my thrusts.

It quickly became more than the little penguin
could handle.

The pleasure consumed me! I had to keep on
thrusting, even though Tux was screaming in pain!
Eventually, my cock began to aggitate Tux's tight
ass to the point where it began bleeding. Tears
seemed to stream down his eyes as I continued to
fuck his ass harder and harder.

Before long, the sensation of orgasm was upon me
and I could no longer hold back. I convulsed,
spilling into the ass all of my spunk with such
force as to render Tux's intestine's apart! The
pressure forced a stream of feces, blood, and
semen out of his rectum, dripping onto the floor
at an alarming pace.

Tux's body was limp by this point.

Only wanting to fulfill my desires further, I
grabbed Tux's limp neck and shoved his nose into
the pile of shit, jizz, and blood. I made him
choke it down... gulp after gulp.

Soon, Tux was dead. I had killed the penguin,
but it was the best anal sex I had ever had.