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Merry Christmas
I'm off to visit the fam... I hope you all have the ability to spend the holidays
with the ones who mean the most to you: even if those are friends
like Solid Snake or Rikku, or actual family. Merry Christmas to you all,
if you made a good haul this year from the fatman, feel free to share.
Jake and the Fatman?
..that celebrates christmas!
- and wishes of peace, harmony and tolerance towards all that do not.
Have a nice year!
Yes, it's been weird in Australia today... stinking hot, and some bushfires got started (deliberately) today unfortunately.
Hmmm... now *that's* something I can't blame on Microsoft.
Off from work, that's for sure.
A working phone line (beware moving the week before christmas)
Internet Connectivity (ditto)
Laid
Over this stupid flu
Letter from Credit Card Companies saying "Hey, that's okay.. don't worry about that $15k you owe us, we'll call it even."
On the other hand, if I can get my ass up in 3 hours, my mom has invited me over for free food! Fuck socks, money, and cheap Walmart bullshit, I want turkey! To hell with Chef Boyardee for a day! woohoo!
Merry xmas to everyone!
If you were me, you'd be good lookin'. - six string samurai
lol, a turkey as a tip?
"yeah, that'll be $12 for the pizza and breadsticks."
"Okay, here you go.. oh, and here's a tip for ya -" and he hands him a giant 20 lb. turkey
I got an Archos 6 Gig jukebox.
And DVDs of Bladerunner (Director's Cut, of course) and The Wall
Oh, and I'm hanging with my family, which is pretty damn cool (they're both geeks too!)
My Journal
The moral of this story? Go to college.
So my mother tells me that I shouldn't expect much for Christmas. This is fine, I guess I can understand if she leaves it at that, because they built a house and all that jazz. But then she gives her reason:
"The (new) pool table and basketball goal are your presents!"
I hate to mention it to her (no, I enjoyed it), but I live in flipping Ireland and the only time I get to play with the pool table is for the next two weeks of my vacation. And the basketball goal isn't here yet! So she got really mad at me for pointing that out as annoyingly as I did (I would much prefer honesty to excuses; if it's not my gift, don't 'give' it to me as a token gift).
That said, I still got three new shirts, a pair of trousers, some candy, and $150. Go me!
Merry christmas!
-knewter
I stole a car, got into a shootout with the police, ran over countless pedestrians, and flipped a semi in front of the police station.
Grand Theft Auto 3 for PS2. What a game!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Your Servant, B. Baggins
In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead by now.
In a real emergency, we would have all fled in terror, and you would not have been notified.
Santa's Rebuttal
NORTH POLE, SANTA'S VILLAGE - For Immediate Release
It has come to the attention of Santa's workshop that there have been disparaging remarks made in the press recently about Santa's very existence. Several key points are overlooked by this callous, amateurish, so-called study.
As was admitted by the skeptics, there is only a very small probability of finding a flying reindeer. That is precisely because they are all located at the Workshop. Your very argument against Santa is proof of his existence! As is widely known (Re: the excellent historical documentaries "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" and "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer") the flying reindeer are not a separate species, but were in fact given the power of flight due to eating magic acorns, which is passed on in their offspring.
A series of cascading assumptions have been relied upon to show the "impossibility" of delivering all presents in one Christmas. For example, there was assumed a uniform distribution of children across homes. Toronto/Yorkville, or NYC/SOHO, or other yuppie neighborhoods, have less than the average (and don't forget the DINK/SINK homes (Double Income No Kids, Single Income No Kids)), while the Catholic (the predominant Christian denomination) families with 10 children would skew that derived 15% of homes down a few percent.
You've also assumed that each home that has kids would have at least one good kid. Let us assure you that anti-selection applies, and homes with good kids tend to have more than their share of good kids? Still other single-child homes are notorious for spoiled "naughty" children and average 55% delivery on a good year. Let's drop that number of homes down a few more percent.
A simple history lesson reminds us that, the first major schism in the Church split the Eastern Churches, centered in Byzantium, from the Western, which remained centered in Rome, prior to the Gregorian correction to the Julian calendar. The Eastern "Orthodox" Churches do not recognize the Gregorian correction for liturgical events, and their Christmas is, as a result, several days after that of the Western Churches'. Thus, Santa's schedule is not as tight as previously indicated.
Santa does indeed FedEx a number of packages ahead of time, since he is not be able to fly into Air Force Bases, or into tower- controlled areas near airports. He's certainly not into dodging SCUD missiles over the no-fly zones in Iraq, so he uses DHL there. Subtract some more homes.
In regards to speed and time, we can't reveal all the details, but let us remind you of basic relativity theory: The faster you go, the slower time progresses. Do you think StarTrek came up with the idea of warp drive? So, if Santa could go faster than light, then he can easily visit all the good children which are not uniformly distributed by either concentration in each home or by number of children per household, and get home before he left so he can digest all those stale cookies and warm milk. (Has anyone thought of ice cubes?)
Aha, you say, Enterprise has matter-antimatter warp engines, Santa only has reindeer, where does he get the power to move that fast? The answer is right before your skeptical eyes! The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy. Per second. Each. This is an ample supply of energy for the maneuvering, acceleration, etc., that would be required of the loaded sleigh. The reindeer don't evaporate or incinerate or get crushed because of this energy; they accelerate! What do you think they have antlers for, fighting over females? Think of antlers as furry shield generator arrays.
The issue of weight constraints and delivery methods also shows a shocking lack of knowledge of basic matter/energy relations and beginning quantum physics. (Picture a two dimensional complex function mapped to the surface of a sphere with approximately 9000 nodal surfaces, and 18 million regions of relatively high amplitude.) Assuming this is getting way ahead of most people's conceptual limits, we'll just say that Captain Kirk wasn't the first to say "beam me down." Transporters, replicators, and holo-projections have been standard equipment in some workshops and certain aerospace vehicle way before the 24th century.
If that's not enough, watch the news on the 24th at 11 o'clock. NORAD (one of the few government agencies with more than 3 initials in it's name and therefore more trustworthy than the rest) tracks Santa every year and displays radar shots of him approaching from the North Pole. They haven't bombarded him yet, so they must believe too, right?
We certainly hope this clears up any damage caused by the bad press. Santa dead, indeed--some people will twist any statistic model to "prove" their cynical theory.
Merry christmas from Okinawa! Got some practical gifts from the woman and burnt a $20 phone card talking to her for 2 hours which was good enough for me. All my Okinawan friends had to work today, but they promise new years will make up for it.
To all my fellow Marines, Airmen, Soldiers and Sailors who also spent christmas with thier loved ones via phone or internet:
Semper Fidelis, Merry Christmas, and thanks for helping keep the world a safer place!
I've dirtied my hands writing poetry, for the sake of seduction; that is, for the sake of a useful cause. --Dostoevsky
Looking out my window, I see green grass. REALLY green, like it's spring. I live near Toronto, Canada.
We haven't had ANY snow this year, although everything to the north, south, east and west has gotten some. Maybe a few snowflakes a few days ago, but nothing that stayed on the ground for longer than a couple of hours. I don't even know if the snowthrower works yet (haven't started it up at all). Shovel hasn't left the wall yet. It's like we live in a bubble around here. Sorta throws the Canadian weather stereotypes in the trash, I suppose.
Merry Christmas to all!
You can accomplish anything you set your mind to. The impossible just takes a little longer.
My mother got into a car accident in march of this year and has been in therapy for chronic back damage , my step dad damaged the disks in his lower back. As such, both have been a little tight for money recently. So my gifts to them this year were:
(1) Fixing their car for them
(2) Lending them money for 3 months.
(3) A little P2-266 for step sister who has never owned a computer before. She almost hyper ventilated when she got it. Sometimes the joy is in seeing something I take for granted, like technology, even old technology, greatly appreciated by someone who is not surrounded by it 24/7.
(4) One of those green bankers lamps for my girlfriend, every time we watch Law and Order she comments on how cool those lamps look
No I didn't get much, I don't want much, if I need something in the world of tech, I buy it for myself. The gifts that mean most to me are the ones where the person gives you a unique gift based upon something you love.
Example, my girlfriend gave me National Geographics 100 Best Pictures of All Time and Gladiator on DVD. Not high in monetary value, but very high meaning for me.
My girlfriend was listening to me all year, and picked on up on stupid little comments I had made months ago! The listening is a gift I appreciate...it's just one of those things that keeps on giving all year long.
I wrote a Hanukka fun guide for a column for jambands.com. It's located at http://www.jambands.com/dec00/columnists/zzyzx.htm l [jambands.com... but you probably knew that]. I'm pasting it here, but the lameness filter didn't like my ASCII art. Go to the orginal if you want to see that.
The Hanukkah Fun Pack
What is Hanukkah?
Hanukkah (also spelled Chanukah, Hanuka, and pretty much any other way you can arrange h's, a's, n's and k's to make that sound) commemorates a military victory over the Greek empire some 2400 years ago. After the Maccabees (aka "The Good Guys") defeated the Greeks (aka "The Bad Guys"), they went to light the everlasting light in the synagogue. Despite having only enough oil to last one day, somehow the light remained lit for the entire 8 days that it took to get some more.
Why Should I Care?
Beats me. Never a major holiday, Hanukkah only really took importance in the 19th century. Frustrated with hearing their kids whining about not getting any Christmas presents, people noticed a holiday located conveniently close to Christmas. Not only was the timing helpful but, unlike most Jewish Holidays, this one didn't even require you to dwell on your failings for 10 days, or do a sundown to sundown fast, or eat all of your meals outside, or not eat bread for 8 days. In fact, this one could even be described as fun. Rabbis poured over the Talmud, figuring that having a fun holiday must be against Jewish law somehow. They were pursuing an investigation over a digression inspired by some 15th century debate over whether killing a snake that wandered into your tent on the Sabbath counted as "work," when someone reminded them of Purim. While Hanukkah is enjoyable, it doesn't hold a candle (that's a little holiday humor there, laugh ok?) to Purim - what with the story involving oral sex and rampaging hordes of angry Jews, the encouragements to go out and get drunk, and kids given noisemakers and told to be really loud and annoying.
Wait a second! You said "fun." Is there any actual enjoyment here?
Well kind of. The celebration of Hanukkah revolves around three things - fire, grease, and gambling.
Fire: The most ritualistic aspect of the holiday involves lighting a menorah for 8 days. No menorah was included in this Fun Pack because:
(1) They tend to be expensive.
(2) If you knocked over the Menorah and burned down Concur, everyone would end up blaming me most likely.
(3) There's an annoyingly complicated special way that you have to light the candles.
Despite their absence here, Menorahs do provide many happy memories. For example, there was the time when my parents left the house, leaving me in charge of the menorah lighting. I then decided to show some basic candle tricks to my brother (including the "flaming ball of wax" trick). Ok, when they got home, I did have some questions to answer - such as, "Why is there wax all over this table?" - but any excuse to play with candles is a good thing.
Grease: Since one of the major parts of the Hanukkah story involves oil burning longer than it should, an aspect of celebration involves eating food fried in oil (traditionally potato pancakes, but I like to push this rule). How often can you say, "I'm eating these Jo-Jos for religious reasons." Eight days of Onion Rings and Mozerella Sticks. That's my idea of a holiday.
Gambling: This is the biggie. You may have noticed many tops inside this package. These are known as dreidels. Each side has a Hebrew letter on it. The letters are the first letter of each word in the phrase "A Great Miracle Happened Here." While some people question whether misestimating the amount of oil you have really qualifies as "great miracle" - it clearly doesn't match up well with - say - the birth of a savior - the phrase does sound better than "A New Measuring Device Was Needed Here."
The way the dreidel works is simple. You start out with a pot of M&Ms or Gelt or something in the middle. You spin the dreidel and see what side comes up.
If gimmel comes up, that means Get... you get the entire contents of the pot.
If hey comes up, that means Half... you get half of what is in there.
If nun comes up, that means Nothing... nothing happens.
If shin comes up, that means Shit, I have to put one back.
I thought about being a dreidel hustler who would wait until the pot got really big and then say, "No, you must have misheard me. THIS one is gimmel," when I spun. Instead though, here is a little ascii hebrew letter guide:
[Guide removed to satisfy lameness filter]
Look for the tail there for gimmel
Now you can tell this game is made for kids, because it's all about getting lots of M&M's and rarely about giving them back. The question becomes, what do you do with your dreidels when you're sick of candy. One thing is to do stupid dreidel tricks. My favorite is the spin the dreidel on its head trick, but the bounce and then spin trick is also cool... when I can get it to work.
Other games (such as high stakes dreidel gambling and strip dreidel) are to be played at your own risk. Know your limits. If you find yourself dreidelling uncontrollably, please call the Washington State Council on Problem Gambling Hotline number at 1-800-547-6133.
What if I think this whole Hanukkah thing is kind of lame?
See that koosh ball in there? Play with it.
Christmas has taken on a new meaning for a lot of people.
No, I'm not talking about consumerism.
You dno't have to be celebrating any particular religious events, but it is a good time to get together with friends and family, and celebrate what _is_ important to you. Maybe you can call people you haven't talked to in a while, or apologize to someone you have been neglecting. Maybe you just want to feel good about something so you can make a donation, or think of a gift for something who needs it.
There's a lot to feel good about and celebrate besides a faith you may or may not partake in.
A couple of years ago I ran across this song by Dar Williams called "Christians and Pagans". It's hilarious (+1) and insightful (+1), and it's been my favorite "Christmas" song ever since (except, perhaps, for John McCutcheon's "Christmas in the Trenches").
:). Plus, what's not to celebrate about the days getting longer.
So back in 1998 my brother and I started to throw "solstice" parties. We looked into various holiday and solstice traditions around the world. No real attempts at sorcery, bachannals, or blood, which I suppose some might expect. We wassail an apple tree, we make radish and butter carvings, we light and extinguish and light candles and talk about what we've done the last year and what we hope to do again. We have the "Urn of Fate" assign friends for the year. We sing "here comes the sun" and "christians and pagans". I'm sure any serious pagan would laugh at us, but it's our little chance to do things a little bit differently, remember there's other cultures and traditions in the world, and perhaps find magic/life/spirit in an unexpected place or two.
I'm still a reasonably solid Christian. OK, I occasionally go for bouts of rational agnosticism, but for the most part, I've found that Christianity as a spiritual practice seems to have something to it. So still I'm a little uncomfortable singing that line from Dar's song "sending hope for peace on earth to all their Gods and Goddesses". But I like this new tradition of looking at other traditions and fashioning new ones from it, and we're going to keep it up, as well as gathering on Christmas day and reading Luke 2 (stopping before we have to explain circumcision to the kids
Libertarianism is rich wolves and poor sheep playing gambler's ruin for dinner.
Yeah, mod me down, but there are some people in this world who will always believe celebrating the anti-pagan birth of Jesus is quite the opposite of 'fanatic' and 'superstitious'.
I'm sorry dude, but believing in an invisible, super powerful, flood creating, virgin impregnating (depending on your local flava'), fig tree slaying, water-walking friend qualifies to me as "superstitious".
By the way, do you know the difference between god and santa?
Santa claus, it's true.
(Courtesy Dominique Colucci).