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CGI About to Boom In Hollywood
FortKnox writes "Because of the success of "Monsters Inc" and "Shrek", many major hollywood studios are scrambling getting on the CGI bandwagon. Looks like we're about to get smothered by CGI movies left and right. For those that like to tinker with CG, it might be a good time to go jobhunting..." Several upcoming movies mentioned. Some ven
look like they might have potential ;)
When can we expect Rob's Duckpins or Hamster Havoc to be adapted into feature length releases?
This is very bad !
Real actors often act as projection surfaces for the phantasies of people like Natalie Portman. I doubt that CG actors will do the same, at least they are really artificial.
Also actors act as role model for little children making them bright, healthy and law-abiding citizens.
Without real live actor these will be gone. The only role models for little children will be the other people they see on news on TV - politicians and terrorists.
Would you like George "Duyba" Bush, Tony Blair or even Osama bin Laden to be a role model for your children ?
So all these CG movies are really very bad and might lead to reduction of morale in the free modern western civilization.
Owner of a Mensa membership card.
Will the end of the movie feature Astroboy lying to the computer as he files his report just so he can have some fun with the audience? Or will this be fleshed out to reveal a deeper mistrust between superior, smarter AI entities and their more mundane, inferior counterparts in the information sector?
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Good! The best part about CGI are the bloopers and outtakes. Funny!
Oh, that's sarcasm btw.
I guess you haven't heard about the Toy Story scene where Mr. Potatohead pulls his eyes off and sticks them under Bo-Peep's dress!
I *REALLY* want to get my hands on that!
AFAIK it hasn't escaped from Pixar's private insider collection.
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- - You can't take something off the Internet! That's like trying to take pee out of a swimming pool.
For $300k per episode you'd think they could at least spell "save".
Hollywood's ideal movie:
Just-turned-18 year old Justinia wakes up, and slinks completely unclothed into a shower, where there's a very long, extended shower scene interspersed with the credits and the extremely violent murder of her cute brother by stereotypical Muslim/arab/mafia/other ethnic people. She finds out her brother has been killed, and they want to kill her next, because she somehow wound up through some unlikely but trivial twist of fate to have the map to something very valuable. She meets up with Mack Dolan, an incredibly muscled tough guy who rides a Harley. He also beats nine colors of heck out of more ethnics who show up just to be beaten up. They drive away, and along the way pick up a wisecracking skinny black guy sidekick played by a flavor-of-the-month filth-mouthed comedian. Along the way someone (not the leads) breaks wind, falls into a vat of manure, or otherwise has something vile happen. They then head to the desert/warehouse/safe house where they pick up lots of guns (shown just as pornographically as scene one) and after a requisite 30 second "character development" scene (she cries, he admits he's not been the same since those same people killed his puppy and standing up, grits his jaw) which leads to the two having steamy sex. They then suit up a la A-team for the glorious final scrumdown with lots of explosions, bullets, corpses, etc. and finally it turns out that Justinia can kick ass too. She dispatches the head/most stereotypically ethnic person and they grab the valuables, riding off into the sunset, sidekick in tow, who makes one last vulgar joke as the credits roll- cue hiphop song over the credits. ("Yo dat ma brotha Dolan, we be rollin...." BOOM chicka-pap chicka BOOM chicka-pap) Fake out-takes from the film in between credits optional. The script must be 90 pages EXACTLY, film to about 83 minutes total, and feature
a hot heroine
a hot hero
a slinky Asian/California babe evil chick
a overacting character actor or ethnic bad guy
A father figure, who dispenses some kind of Zen-like wisdom at a critical point
A dumbass, skinny black guy, or "mook" for comic relief
--- Jump!! Fire!! Bullet time!! - Lego version of the Matrix
...wait until they start using servlets!
Breakfast served all day!
Executive: How's the "Tomb Raider: The Silicone Within" work coming?
Animator: We need to custom build a physics engine.
Executive: What? Why? It's all off-the-shelf now-a-days.
Animator: That's the problem; the physics engines are too realistic.
Executive: What do you mean?
Animator: Watch this test reel.
*Animator turns on a monitor, and runs an animation clip.*
Animation: *Lara Croft, in all her ray-traced glory, is standing as still as a statue on a flat plane. Suddenly she animates; her eyes start looking around, she starts breathing, her body is shifting ever so slightly on her feet, a breeze is playing with her hair. She stretches, arching her back.*
Animation: *as Lara arches her back, she gets a surprised look on her face*
Lara's Back: *SNAP*
Animation: *Lara's back snaps as gravity pulls her titanic brests downwards. She collapses in a hideously bent backward heap*
Lara: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
Animation: Gravity pulls Lara down, bending the flat plane she's standing on into a cone, looking like those graphical renditions of black holes you always see.*
Animator: See what we mean? Sure, we could reduce the size of her breasts to normal human proportions, but...
Executive: Hell no! We want to make some money on this!
Vintage computer games and RPG books available. Email me if you're interested.