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Dave Barry Does Windows

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the squeegee-man dept.

retrosteve writes: "Well, it's finally happened. Someone (Dave Barry) in the popular press has finally, explicitly and with a sense of humour, pointed out that Microsoft Windows doesn't get any more reliable or usable, no matter how many versions you buy."

36 of 753 comments (clear)

  1. Re:Allow me to point out my F I R S T P O S T by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    ha ha! i beat you! your dead homiez post is nothing compared with my fp! ha ha ha ha!

  2. Really really FIRST POST by gonzoucab · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    This is.. my first post.. and i mean it.

  3. Linux problems by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    PACKAGE : glibc
    SUMMARY : glibc glob buffer overflow
    DATE : 2002-01-03 11:45:00
    ID : CLA-2002:447
    RELEVANT
    RELEASES : 5.0, prg graficos, ecommerce, 5.1, 6.0, 7.0

    DESCRIPTION
    The GNU C Library (glibc) is the standard library used by almost any
    program in a common linux system.

    There is a buffer overflow[1] discovered by Flávio Veloso in the
    glibc's glob() function. By triggering this vulnerability[2], an
    attacker could make a program which uses that function execute
    arbitrary code.

    SOLUTION
    All users should upgrade.

    Notice that all potentially vulnerable programs (the ones which use
    the glob() function) must be restarted after the new packages are
    installed. Also notice that if that program is staticaly linked
    against glibc, it must be recompiled to use the new glob() function.

    REFERENCES:
    1.http://sources.redhat.com/ml/bug-glibc/2001-11 /m sg00109.html
    2.http://www.securityfocus.com/archive/1/245956

    DIRECT DOWNLOAD LINKS TO THE UPDATED PACKAGES
    ftp://atualizacoes.conectiva.com.br/5.0/SRPMS/gl ib c-2.1.3-26U50_1cl.src.rpm
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  4. Re:What a load of crap by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic
    Well, if you must insist:

    Posted by michael on Sunday January 06, @08:54PM

  5. Re:DUKE SUCKS! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    rock on, dude! duke blows, and they just lost to fucking florida state! ha ha!

  6. Re:The point is the foot! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Yeah, but was it worth a link on the Slashdot page? It's not even that funny, but it certainly seems to have tickled michael's anti-MS bone neough to be worth posting.

    This isn't news, this doesn't matter, except to michael and his current anti-MS jihad.

  7. This guy's worse than Katz. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Don't we all already know that windows isn't stable? If I want to hear somebody making jokes about it, I'll read the /. message boards: they're ten times funnier than Dave Barry.

    1. Re:This guy's worse than Katz. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

      ***NOBODY*** is worse than Jon Katz. Heed my words.

  8. Re:So Let Me Get This Straight... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    If Slashdot wants to be taken seriously, Dave Barry needs to make sure he always has the most up to date OS?
    The title of this site is: News for nerds, Stuff that matters.

    This is hardly news, it's hardly something that matters. It's a lame attempt at humor.

  9. not funny by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Almost everyone knows Windows 1 through ME aren't stable. But how many of you used Windows NT 3? 4? Or 5 (2000, xp)? Windows NT has been quite stable since NT 3. But nobody will mention that. Please people, stop pretending that Windows is unstable. It really no longer is. It doesn't do much good to point that out as Window's major weakness, cause it isn't anymore (at least in NT).

    Disclaimer: I like Dave Barry. But not this piece.

  10. I am.....AC! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Contrary to the beliefs of many of you, there is actually an account named "Anonymous Coward." I just wanted to let you know that I am the "Anonymous Coward." As many of you know, I slave at my computer, posting on the news site called slashdot for years. I do not sleep. Well, basically, the

  11. Slashdot moderators by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    How can the first (real) post to a Slashdot article be modded down to 'Redundant'. Heh heh heh...

  12. Let me get this straight... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    The worst terrorist attack in recorded history occurred almost four months ago, and now we're involved in a WAR and you people have the gall to be discussing that Microsoft Windows doesn't get any more reliable or usable, no matter how many versions you buy???? My *god*, people, GET SOME PRIORITIES!

    The bodies of the thousands of innocent civilians who died (and will die) in these unprecedented events could give a good god damn about that Microsoft Windows doesn't get any more reliable or usable, no matter how many versions you buy, your childish Lego models, your nerf toy guns and whining about the lack of a "fun" workplace, your Everquest/Diablo/D&D fixation, the latest Cowboy Bebop rerun, or any of the other ways you are "getting on with your life" (here's a hint: watching Cowboy Bebop in your jammies and eating a bowl of Shreddies is *not* "getting on with your life"). The souls of the victims are watching in horror as you people squander your finite, precious time on this earth playing video games!

    You people disgust me!

  13. Re:You go, Dave by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Oh yes. Linux never gets hit by viruses, and I'm certain your system never, ever crashes... Not.

  14. Re:Win2k, XP by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    If I had moderator access, I would mod this up! It is true! Microsoft got its users at first by having an unstable OS that was easy to develop for, and easy to use, and because they were able to keep most of the users they had, and gain many new ones. Now, Microsoft is further solidifying it's user base by releasing more stable and secure products, now more than ever with error reporting. Despite desperate claims otherwise, Microsoft DOES have some of the best software engineers in the world.

  15. Re:Win2k, XP by the+eric+conspiracy · · Score: 3, Offtopic

    Windows and linux will be on equal footing for stability and security...

    Microsoft is compelled by their business plan to churn their user base ever year or two with new versions of their OS products. As we have seen with the introduction of Windows XP, each new version will introduce a new set of security and stability problems. Therefore it is very unlikely that Windows will ever match Linux stability or security.

    So linux is free, which is great, but what else?

    For me freedom is enough.

  16. Crap moderation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Nice to see the Slashdot Anti-MS Mujahideen are out in force again, downmodding anything that dares question why a lame MS-bashing item deserves space on the front page.

  17. Hello by xant · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    Let me buy you a sense of humor. No, it's all right, I believe in charity. It's only the standard model, but it's better than nothing which is what you have.

    --
    It's rare that you're presented with a knob whose only two positions are Make History and Flee Your Glorious Destiny.
  18. Re:Pretty Accurate by billybob · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    har har!1 you are funny man!

    please give up day job and pursue career in comedy!!

    me laugh very long time at your joke

    har har har!!!!

    --
    Joseph?
  19. Re:yeah, but Dave Barry isn't funny by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    POKEY is funny.

  20. Re:What am I missing? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Gee, , your neat.

    What kind of socks do you wear,
    cause,.. like,.. you really seem
    to have your shit together, and
    I was thinking of getting socks
    like the ones you have.

  21. THIS IS A TROLL??? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Wow, the Linux-loving jihad is in full effect tonight, isn't it?

    I'd say this was a pretty good comment about Windows stability. Nothing trollish, no flamebait, just a reasonable post about improving software.

    What crap. Slashdot is really going down the drain.

  22. Linux problems by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    PACKAGE : glibc
    SUMMARY : glibc glob buffer overflow
    DATE : 2002-01-03 11:45:00
    ID : CLA-2002:447
    RELEVANT
    RELEASES : 5.0, prg graficos, ecommerce, 5.1, 6.0, 7.0

    DESCRIPTION
    The GNU C Library (glibc) is the standard library used by almost any
    program in a common linux system.

    There is a buffer overflow[1] discovered by Flávio Veloso in the
    glibc's glob() function. By triggering this vulnerability[2], an
    attacker could make a program which uses that function execute
    arbitrary code.

    SOLUTION
    All users should upgrade.

    Notice that all potentially vulnerable programs (the ones which use
    the glob() function) must be restarted after the new packages are
    installed. Also notice that if that program is staticaly linked
    against glibc, it must be recompiled to use the new glob() function.

    REFERENCES:
    1.http://sources.redhat.com/ml/bug-glibc/2001-11 /m sg00109.html
    2.http://www.securityfocus.com/archive/1/245956

    DIRECT DOWNLOAD LINKS TO THE UPDATED PACKAGES
    ftp://atualizacoes.conectiva.com.br/5.0/SRPMS/gl ib c-2.1.3-26U50_1cl.src.rpm
    ftp://atualizacoes.conectiva.com.br/5.0/i386/gli bc -2.1.3-26U50_1cl.i386.rpm
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  23. Why is this news on Slashdot, it's a lame article by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    typical anti-microsoft slashdot bullshit. the article is lame, the writer is a fool, he should use a typewriter.

  24. More crap moderation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Wow. Another post pointing out that this article might not be entirely worthy of Slashdot's attention gets modded down. What a huge surprise.

    I hope all of you fuckers get nailed in metamod.

  25. Linux problems by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    PACKAGE : glibc
    SUMMARY : glibc glob buffer overflow
    DATE : 2002-01-03 11:45:00
    ID : CLA-2002:447
    RELEVANT
    RELEASES : 5.0, prg graficos, ecommerce, 5.1, 6.0, 7.0

    DESCRIPTION
    The GNU C Library (glibc) is the standard library used by almost any
    program in a common linux system.

    There is a buffer overflow[1] discovered by Flávio Veloso in the
    glibc's glob() function. By triggering this vulnerability[2], an
    attacker could make a program which uses that function execute
    arbitrary code.

    SOLUTION
    All users should upgrade.

    Notice that all potentially vulnerable programs (the ones which use
    the glob() function) must be restarted after the new packages are
    installed. Also notice that if that program is staticaly linked
    against glibc, it must be recompiled to use the new glob() function.

    REFERENCES:
    1.http://sources.redhat.com/ml/bug-glibc/2001-11 /m sg00109.html
    2.http://www.securityfocus.com/archive/1/245956

    DIRECT DOWNLOAD LINKS TO THE UPDATED PACKAGES
    ftp://atualizacoes.conectiva.com.br/5.0/SRPMS/gl ib c-2.1.3-26U50_1cl.src.rpm
    ftp://atualizacoes.conectiva.com.br/5.0/i386/gli bc -2.1.3-26U50_1cl.i386.rpm
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  26. MOD THIS DOWN TO HELL/DISNEYLAND: incorrect syntax by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    C and BASIC can't be molded into one language. BASIC doesn't have a main() function block and takes no use of return values and prototyping. Or did Microsoft introduce this shit in Visual BASIC?

  27. Get ready to be modded down by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Challenging Almighty Michael's article selection is worth of karma loss, and possibly bitchslapping if he's feeling especiallty offended.

  28. Re:Win2k, XP by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    but of course since you can't mod your own post up you'll have to ask other to do it, right?

  29. Important Question by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    If your girlfriend/wife was seriously ill and would die within days, and the only way of saving her life was to have sex with your father, would you do it?

  30. probably because he never was a Mac person by Proud+Geek · · Score: 1, Offtopic

    Any longtime Mac person would see an immediate and dramatic improvement in stability upon switching to Windows. The Macintosh bore a legacy even stronger than Windows for a long time. Having cast it aside, there is hope, but there is also hope for the foe, as Microsoft has cast aside its legacy. Still, in these times of new beginnings, I can't help but hope that there is room for another newcomer, fair Linux, to cast a pall over all the rest.

    --

    Even Slashdot wants to hide some things

  31. Re:Of course! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    well if you're going to compare OS's to music, BeOS is the Jungle/Drumnbass of the OS world..

    powah!
    ;)

    debian is doin' it for me right now though :P

  32. Re:Allow me to point out my F I R S T P O S T by norculf · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    Actually, I think the convention these days is to deny ACs credit for their first posts in favor of the first logged in first post. Checking closely, it appears that I posted logged in, and that you did not. Therefore I win.

    I also declare myself master of the universe times infinity, and I call the front seat.

  33. Re:and your point is...? by xueexueg · · Score: 1, Offtopic
    For the love of God, don't you remember how to laugh?

    I kind of wondered whether someone would say something like this. I love to laugh. I realize there's no evidence of that in my posting, but I do. Let me throw down two possible causes of laughter:

    1. random, silly, funny shit that makes me briefly forget all the stuff that makes want to cry
    2. bitter, angry shit that makes me remember that stuff, but reminds me that that's how life is
    I like to laugh at ridiculous, hilarious stuff. I like observational humor, though aesthetically I often find it too predictable/cliché/formulaic. Probably my favorite observational humor is in David Lynch movies -- his dialogue is so lifelike it makes me giddy. But otherwise I love the Kids in the Hall, which tends toward complete comedic chaos, completely out of touch with any reality.

    But my favorite joke is such a bitter, life-hating joke that is probably too offensive to put in a post that I don't want to be modded down. It seems to me the joke that contains the most truth of any joke I've ever heard, but it's the kind of 'honesty' that might make you want to kill yourself. But it immediately puts me through to the other side, and I see it as a life-affirming joke that makes me want to live every day to its fullest, as cheesy as that sounds. I'll put it at the end of this post, but don't anybody read it if you're offended by cancer jokes.

    He's not trivializing an issue at all. His issue is that he's a computer illiterate and he's using absurdism to show how. This is how he writes. If you're hoping he'll let himself be co-opted into a political agenda,

    I'm not hoping that he'll be co-opted into my political agenda. The ./ summary looked to me like it was saying Barry was on an anti-Microsoft political agendum, so I was disappointed somewhat and posted to clarify. And since he's writing on a topic that is one of my quasi-political hot-buttons, I can't help thinking of the politics that I attach to this subject. What if Dave Barry said that he was not just computer-illiterate, but actually reading-illiterate, and joked about his crappy school that couldn't afford books? It would be funny, the way he was self-deprecating, but it would remind me that some schools are underfunded and unable to educate their students properly, and that some people are never given a fair chance to be successful. Here's another example: I think George Bush is a doofus. I enjoy hearing jokes about George Bush's being a doofus, but I put them in the Dilbert category rather than the Lenny Bruce category. Emphasizing that GWB is a doofus makes us forgiving of his mistakes and weakens our other criticisms of him, and makes his crappy politics seem like an accident and an afterthought. But however stupid he may be, he is also powerful and also makes decisions that are making the world a much worse place to live.

    I'm not saying that this humor shouldn't exist, or isn't funny, or could be ethically better. In some ways it is good to at least bring up that Windows sucks, that schools are underfunded, that Bush is a doofus, and in most cases it probably is better for the humorist not to propose a solution. But please don't blame me for thinking about the bigger issues when I read humor: I just can't help it.

    Oh, the joke: don't read this.

    What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get for Christmas?

    Cancer.

  34. Re:The more things change.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    hi fuck this board up please http://www.honda-tech.com/

  35. 3rd Party Programmers are the MAIN Culprits by Synic · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    The main source of crashes and problems with Windows 2000 kernel based products are programmers doing device drivers who can't code their way out of a linked list, or those who base their products on inherently flawed programming languages such as Visual Basic.