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New Wallace and Gromit Episodes Coming Online
chachi5000 noted that
CNN is running a story about
Aardman releasing
Wallace and Gromit Shorts Online.
There will be a dozen of the one minute clips featuring the awesome
plasticine duo. Also bits about the feature film coming in (sigh) a few years.
Anyone who hasn't seen the existing Wallace and Gromit trilogy is
missing out.
I once had anal sex with a man named Wallace. It was quite enjoyable.
Cheers.
...will they bring back the penguin (I forgot his name) for the movie?
Name him Tux and have him fight some big guy named "Bill" while Gromit and his damn owner get caught in the middle of it.
Kv1dn7'gu7 a F1zT P0ztA!!
:(
Slashdot censorship is at work. Check this comment Now, every single comment is at -1. This entire post with some 100 replies was bitchslapped. Most comments about this post were between +2 and +5, until the censorship brigade come in!
Slashdot censorship is at work. Check this comment Now, every single comment is at -1. This entire post with some 100 replies was bitchslapped. Most comments about this post were between +2 and +5, until the censorship brigade come in!
My name is Wallace and I have had anal sex. As a side note: I was giving it, and not taking it.
Pat Robertson v. America, Round II
Post date 01.14.02 | Issue date 01.21.02
The last time we heard from Pat Robertson, it was shortly after September 11, and he was furiously distancing himself from his good friend Jerry Falwell. Falwell, appearing on Robertson's show, "The 700 Club," had said the terrorist attacks were "probably what we deserve" given "all the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians" living in the United States. And although Robertson had concurred with Falwell's comments when he originally uttered them ("Jerry, that's my feeling," were his exact words), a few days later--following a huge public outcry--Robertson deemed the comments "inappropriate." Except that now, on "The 700 Club," Robertson has done his friend Falwell one better.
"America will survive what is coming," he declared ominously, "but it won't survive in its present form. The proud will be humbled and then the time will come that they will turn to the Lord.... And, there's one last thing that the Lord led me to in Isaiah.... `Destruction is certain for those who say evil is good and good is evil, that dark is light and light is dark, that bitter is sweet and sweet is bitter.' Those who say evil is good and good is evil, and that's what's happening in this country. Certain perversions, sexual perversions for an example, are being touted as a privileged activity, and those who oppose it are being called evil."
And just to make sure no one missed the significance of his vision of "destruction" for those who tout "sexual perversions," Robertson added, "I do believe that San Francisco is going to be a target of these people"--i.e., the terrorists. And to think we'd foolishly imagined that the only people looking forward to the destruction of American cities were in Al Qaeda.
Good choice as an FP. The Cure rocks.
As an aside, it seems we have been led on to believe that The Lyrics Guy is a real person with the personal note at the top? Oh me, oh my.
Mother's Dirty Secret IV: Guidance for the Girls
DISCLAIMER: These are stories containing graphic descriptions of sex between adults, adults and minors, and incest. If this offends you, please do not read them. Please do not read them if you are underage for your community or if the laws of your community do not allow it.
You have been warned!
NOTE: The following is a short story based on characters created in the enovel, "Mother's Dirty Secret"
"Oh damn!" Gretchen said out loud as she leaned against her locker.
"What's wrong?" Karen asked, real concern in her voice.
"I have to shit and it's only one o'clock!"
"Ohhhh!" Karen nodded her head.
Karen knew that her best friend Gretchen always waited until she got home to use the bathroom, preferring to use her mother's mouth for her toilet rather than the girls restroom at school. She grinned broadly at her friend.
"Oh well." she said. "No point in letting it go to waste!"
Gretchen turned to look at the younger girl, a smile crossing her face as well.
"Don't be ridiculous. If we ever got caught we'd be expelled for sure!"
"We won't get caught." Karen argued. "We'll wait till the bathroom is empty."
"No way!" Gretchen laughed as she turned to walk down the school corridor.
"Come on! It will be excitingly wicked!" she pleaded. "No! And that's final!"
Both girls giggled as Gretchen hurried down the hallway with Karen at her side. Entering the girl's restroom and finding it vacant, they both dropped their books on the shelf. Gretchen headed for one of the toilet stalls and Karen, still giggling, followed her in.
"No, Karen!" Gretchen hissed as she hiked up her skirt. "We'll get caught!"
"No we won't," whined Karen as she closed the stall door behind them.
"No!" Gretchen repeated.
"At least let me watch," she begged.
Gretchen thought for a moment and then said, "OK. But only watch! No funny stuff!"
"I promised!" said Karen, raising her hand in an oath.
Gretchen pulled her white cotton panties down, revealing her sparsely fur-covered pussy and bulging young clitoris. She went to sit on the toilet but Karen stopped her.
"No! Turn around and squat so I can really see," she whispered.
Gretchen rolled her eyes in mock aggravation but turned to face the wall and, holding her skirt up squatted over the porcelain bowl. Karen crouched behind her and stared up into her friend's ass and cunt.
"You have such a beautiful asshole." she said as she placed a hand on each of Gretchen's cheeks and spread them apart.
"You'd better lick it for me a few times to get me started, Karen. It feels awfully hard in there."
Karen's moist tongue darted out and into the deep crack of Gretchen's ass. She pressed it flat against the wrinkled little shit hole and rolled it around, wetting the older girl's shitter and causing her to moan softly.
"Oooh! That's good, Karen," Gretchen whispered. "Lick my asshole."
Karen lapped noisily as she lathered Gretchen's ass crack thoroughly. She kissed it repeatedly and even plunged her tongue into it.
"Jeez! You know how to eat out an asshole, Karen! My cunts about to turn somersaults!"
"Mmmm! Your asshole is so sweet!" Karen replied as she enthusiastically primed her friend's anal pump.
Gretchen pulled away from Karen and pointed her ass downwards. Within seconds a long thin brown turd slid from her asshole and splashed down into the toilet. Karen watched with erotic fascination as the five-inch tube of dark brown shit went to the bottom and then floated back up to the top.
A stream of warm, yellow piss erupted from between the folds of Gretchen's young pussy and Karen reached in to let it splash on her palm. Then, without warning, a second smaller clump of shit plopped from Gretchen's rectum and landed directly in the center of Karen's hand.
"Mmmm. Nice, Gretchen," Karen said as she eyed the luscious looking little shit morsel.
"Drop it!" Gretchen ordered her. "If you walk out of here with shit on your face we'll both be in big trouble!" Reluctantly, Karen dropped the small turd into the toilet, not wanting to anger her friend.
Several petite bits of scat shot from Gretchen and fell into the bowl in rapid-fire succession causing both girls to giggle loudly. When she no longer felt the urge, Gretchen reached towards the toilet paper roll.
"Bend over. I'll take care of that." Karen offered excitedly.
"Well, ok," Gretchen agreed as she bent over. "I DO love to have my ass wiped with a nice soft tongue rather than that rough toilet paper."
Thrilled, Karen spread her friend's ass one more time and dove face first into her dirty crack. A wet layer of Gretchen's scat covered the pucker of her hole, spreading out past the sexy little wrinkles. Karen's tongue went for the thickest clump, lapping the small mass into her mouth. She licked, sucked and kissed at the filthy teen shit-hole, savoring the nasty taste of it.
When the outer area of Gretchen's hole was thoroughly clean, Karen dipped her tongue inside and wormed it up into her friend's hot rectal passage.
"Oooh! Yes, Karen," Gretchen grunted. "Suck the shit out of my asshole! It's so good! I love it when you..."
Suddenly the girl's world came crashing in on them.
The toilet stall door was flung open widely and Mrs. Norris, the art teacher was standing over them.
"My God! What ARE you girls doing in here," she screamed.
Gretchen stood upright and almost fell backwards onto Karen who was trying to stand at the same time. The younger girl's lips and tongue were coated with brown ass grease and she raised her arm to wipe it away. Mrs. Norris grabbed both of them by the wrist and pulled them from the stall.
"What ARE you doing," she screamed, totally beside herself with revulsion.
"Gretchen was just having some female problems and..." Karen lied.
"Never mind lying! You have poop all over you mouth, young lady. Do you know how disgusting that is," Mrs. Norris shot back.
Karen lowered her head, too embarrassed to look at the teacher. Gretchen struggled to yank her panties back up with pee still dribbling from her pussy. Mrs. Norris began shaking her finger rapidly at the girls.
"THAT is disgusting! Don't you know THAT will make you SICK," the woman was screeching at the top of her lungs and her face was contorted in a grimace of anger and nausea.
"Yes, 'mam," was all that either of them could say.
"Come with me young ladies," the teacher hissed as she pulled them from the bathroom. "You need the guidance counselor. BADLY!"
The walk down the hallway was agony for the two teenagers. When Karen tried to wipe the shit from her lips with her shirtsleeve, Mrs. Norris stopped her.
"Don't you dare," she warned. "I want Mr. Jenkins to see exactly what you've been doing!"
Karen felt as if she were going to pass out. Her legs wobbled unmercifully as she tried to walk. Gretchen was not doing much better with the situation. Tears had begun to swell in her eyes and her heart felt like it was going to burst out of her chest. Both of them silently thanked the stars that their mothers knew and approved of their fetishes. Still, it didn't ease the fear that they would be ridiculed, expelled or worse, maybe even arrested.
When they abruptly entered the guidance counselor's office Mrs. Norris motioned them quickly into the chairs opposite the desk. Mr. Jenkins looked up at them and then at the teacher.
"Can I help you Mrs. Norris," he asked softly.
"I hope you can help these two FILTHY girls, Mr. Jenkins," she blurted.
"What have they done," he asked, looking at the girls.
Grabbing Karen by the sleeve, Mrs. Norris pulled her up to the desk.
"Look at her mouth," she screeched as she pointed at Karen's shit covered lips.
"Is that chocolate? Have they been eating candy in class," he asked, unsure of what all the fuss was about.
"No! She was performing analingus on that girl," she hissed softly as she pointed at Gretchen. "In the bathroom! While SHE was POOPING!"
Mr. Jenkins eyes flew wide in shock, his chin dropped open in complete disbelief and his cock filled quickly with blood. While he was surprised at what the girls had been presumably doing, he was not as alarmed as the art teacher was.
Bill Jenkins was a forty-year-old pervert and sex hound. He'd tried about every type of fetish in the book and practiced most of them on a regular basis. His most favorite fetish was not one he had the opportunity to practice often. That fetish was young teenage girls!
"Anal...?" he said.
"There is the evidence! Right there! On her filthy, smelly face!"
Jenkins looked grimly at Karen, trying to hide the smile that was threatening to cover his face.
"What is your name, Miss," he said softly.
"Karen Marsh, Sir."
"And yours," he looked at Gretchen.
"Gretchen Richards," the girl replied meekly.
He looked back at Karen and the wet brown ring around her mouth.
"Miss Marsh. Is what Mrs. Norris says true? Were you doing that?"
Karen looked down and mumbled, "Yes."
"Very well, Mrs. Norris," he said to the enraged teacher, "I'll handle this now. You can go."
"I hope you'll call their parents," she demanded.
"Yes. Of course I will. But these young ladies need counseling as well," he said.
"Yes! VERY badly!"
Mrs. Norris shot both of the girls a look of utter revulsion before stomping out of the room. Mr. Jenkins stuck his head out the door after her.
"Ms. South? I'm going to be counseling for the next thirty minutes. I don't want to be disturbed," he told his secretary.
Closing the door, Jenkins returned to his chair. Folding his fingers under his chin he stared at Karen and Cindy, appraising their attitudes. Finally he leaned into his desk, his voice soft and soothing but firm.
"Tell me. Do you both enjoy this type of activity? This ass licking," he asked them bluntly.
Karen put her face in her hands, too embarrassed to discuss this with anyone and especially not a good-looking forty-year-old guidance counselor. Gretchen stared into space as she answered numbly.
"Yes."
"I have heard of this particular sexual preference before. I believe it is called 'scat play' or 'brown showers'. Is that correct?"
"Yes," Gretchen repeated.
"So you enjoy consuming each others waste materials. Is that correct?"
"Yes," they answered in unison.
"Miss Marsh. Please look at me while I am speaking to you," he said.
Karen looked up, her face bright red with embarrassment. She fought back her tears and tried to control her trembling body. Jenkins stood and walked around to the front of his desk. Sitting on the edge of it, he addressed the two girls calmly and straightforward.
"I'm sure you realize how serious this is," he said sternly. "Doing something like this on school grounds results in immediate expulsion as well as a conference with your parents."
He paused to let that sink in.
"That will not be the worst of it though," he continued. "It will become a part of you school record and can be viewed by just about anyone. I am sure you know how the rumors will fly around school about this."
"Please, Mr. Jenkins," Gretchen pleaded. "Please! We won't do it again! I promise! Never again!"
Gretchen was terrified everyone in school would find out. She wouldn't have any friends and would be constantly teased and ridiculed. Karen was beginning to shake uncontrollably and was afraid she was going to pee at any second. Jenkins, seeing the girl's fear; placed his hand on hers to calm her.
"There is a way..." he smiled at them.
Karen looked up with hope in her eyes.
"What? We'll do anything, Mr. Jenkins! I promise," Gretchen exclaimed.
Jenkins face went dead serious as he stared at Gretchen. Then without a word he unzipped his fly and pulled his prick from it. Picking up Karen's small hand, he pressed it into his sex, rubbing it all over his swelling cock-flesh.
"Are you girls really willing to do anything," he smiled.
Karen was too startled to move. Her reaction, under normal circumstances, would have been to pull her hand away from him. But these weren't normal circumstances and she didn't pull her hand away. Instead she curled her fingers around the fat cock and moved her hand with his in an up and down motion. She marveled at the way the outer layer of cock-flesh moved with her hand and how the thing swelled and hardened with each stroke.
"Ah! Very good, Miss Marsh," Jenkins said. "What about you Miss Richards?"
Gretchen bit her lower lip, unsure of what she should do. Given the fact that she didn't have many choices, the teenager went to him.
Jenkins unfastened his pants and let them drop to the floor. Removing Karen's hand from his stiff cock, he pulled his briefs down to his ankles. Both girls' jaws hung open as they received a full view of the man's cock and balls.
"It's...it's so big," Gretchen exclaimed.
Jenkins smiled as Karen's hand clutched his prick without prompting. The young girl stared in fascination and awe at the pulsing cock in her hand as she stroked it back and forth. A small bead of clear fluid appeared on his little pisshole and Karen's memory drifted back to the night she had sucked the sperm of five men from her mother's asshole. Her face went to Jenkins' crotch and she swiped the sperm away with her tongue.
Jenkins was pleasantly startled at the young girls actions and let out a low groan. Karen licked her lips deliciously at the animal taste of the fresh man-cum.
Gretchen was amazed that Karen was being so bold. She had always been so timid and shy but now she was acting like a little bitch in heat for this older man's penis. She was hesitant at first, but after seeing her younger friend's cock lust she went to her knees on the floor.
"Very good girls," Jenkins moaned as her looked down at the tip of his cock hovering in front of Gretchen's face. He pulled Karen's eager hand from the shaft and lowered it to his full ball sack. The young girl massaged and kneaded the swollen testicles, her pussy going damp with excitement.
"Take it into your mouth now, Miss Richards," he said to Gretchen.
Gretchen opened her mouth and gingerly formed a small 'O' with her lips. She had never sucked a cock before and she wasn't exactly sure how to do it correctly. She looked up into the guidance counselor's face for approval.
"You'll have to open wider than that," Jenkins laughed, seeing the teenager's inexperience. "Wet your lips first, Miss Richards."
Gretchen swiped her moist tongue across her lips, wetting them thoroughly.
"Now just take it into your sweet young mouth," Jenkins instructed her.
Gretchen pushed her mouth over the drooling cock-head and closed her lips around it. Swirling her tongue around the tip, she lapped the leaking sperm from his pisshole.
"How does it taste, Miss Richards," Jenkins asked the girl.
"Mmmmmm" Gretchen answered. She was enjoying the musky taste of the man's flesh so much that she didn't want to pull her mouth away to answer.
"That's it, Miss Richards!" Jenkins groaned. "Suck it. Slide your lovely little mouth up and down of my big fuck rod!"
Jenkins cock and his dirty mouth were having a positive effect on both girls' hormones. Karen was beginning to squeeze the rubbery sperm-loaded balls she was holding and Gretchen's sucking became more and more intense. Soon she was pulling the man's aching prick from her mouth and bathing the entire length of it with her warm, wet tongue. Karen looked on, licking her own lips as her mouth began to water.
"I want to try," Karen said to Jenkins. "Will you teach me too?"
"All in good time, Miss Marsh," he answered with an evil grin. "Right now I have an assignment that I think you will be better suited to."
Jenkins turned his ass to face Karen, pulling Gretchen's sucking mouth around with him. Bending over he reached behind himself and spread his tight, muscular ass cheeks apart.
"See anything you like, Miss Marsh?"
Karen was seeing plenty that she liked. Jenkins fur lined ass crack was spread widely, revealing a small dark indentation in the center. Within the deep crevice Karen could see the man's puckering shit hole. It looked rather dirty to the young girl, as if he had recently shit and hadn't wiped very well.
"Yes, sir," she said softly as she pushed her nose in closer and sniffed. "Lick my asshole, Miss Marsh," Jenkins ordered her.
Being a good girl, Karen did as she was told - with great enthusiasm. Her soft tongue went straight to the dried shit that coated the man's bunghole. Lapping wetly at it, Karen loosened the brown crust and sucked it into her mouth. She momentarily pulled her head back to experience the nasty flavor that was beginning to spread across her tongue. The taste of the man's stale, dried shit was utterly disgusting and foul and Karen hoped that he had more of the vile waste inside of him.
Karen's face went back in to Jenkins' ass and her tongue dove deep into the man's shit passage. She squirmed it around, searching for even a small morsel of her guidance counselor's bowel waste.
"Ugh! Very good, Miss Marsh," Jenkins grunted. "Ream my asshole out good with your tongue! Very good! Your a very good ass licker!"
Jenkins was truly impressed with the young girls rimming technique. She had obviously either had a lot of experience or someone had trained her well. He wondered whom else these girls might be involved with. What he didn't realize was that Karen enjoyed sucking assholes so much that it just came naturally to her. He released his ass cheeks and raised himself into a more upright position, causing Karen's tongue to slip from his hole.
"More? Please," Karen begged wantonly.
"Yes, Miss Marsh! Plenty more," Jenkins hissed. "But I must get more comfortable.
After checking the lock on his office door again, Jenkins disrobed completely and prompted the girls to do so as well, which they did quickly. Once naked, both teenagers lost their humility and inhibitions.
Jenkins bent over the desk with his ass pushed outward obscenely, as if begging to be fucked.
"Miss Richards. Kneel under me and suck my prick," he ordered Gretchen. "Miss Marsh, you continue sucking my shithole please!"
Both teenagers dropped into position and began their assigned tasks. Gretchen was getting quite comfortable with having a fat, dripping fuck pole in her mouth and Karen was completely content with having the man's hairy shitter to eat.
While Gretchen's head bobbed back and forth on her guidance counselor's thick shaft, Karen's tongue probed deliciously in search of her favorite sex food. Jenkins could tell what the girl was about and did his best to give it to her. He squeezed and grunted for several minutes, his asshole flexing in and out, while Karen's tongue wiggled and wormed inside of him. Then, when he finally felt movement, he pushed down hard and passed a small, rancid turd into the girl's waiting mouth.
Karen moaned in sensuous delight. Her guidance counselor's shit was amazingly sweet, in a filthy sort of way. She savored the little chunk of bowel waste as she washed it throughout her mouth, allowing the entire nasty thing to dissolve before swallowing the thick, greasy slime.
"Mmmmmm! God I love shit," she moaned.
The pure perversity and decadence of the entire scene was sending hot jolts of lusty pleasure through Jenkins body. He couldn't believe his good fortune. He had found a couple of shit-eating, teenybopper whores that were at his complete disposal anytime he wanted. At least while they were still in school. His balls were brewing hot sperm at a fever pitch and he felt as if they would explode any minute. He looked down at young Gretchen fucking her face on his cock.
"Ever been fucked in the ass, Miss Richards," he asked Gretchen.
Gretchen pulled her mouth from the fat cock and said, "No. But I won't mind if you want to do it to me."
Actually Gretchen wasn't sure if she would mind or not. She had never had anything in there larger that two fingers and at first that had been painful. She imagined that Jenkins thick manhood would probably be even more painful. But she also remembered the pleasure those two fingers had giving her after a few slow strokes and she found her desire to be sodomized by Jenkins increasing quickly.
"Do you want to fuck my ass Mr. Jenkins," she asked him.
"Get up on the desk, on your back, Miss Richards," he ordered her.
Gretchen went to the desk and climbed up, lying with her soft ass at the edge. Jenkins pulled away from Karen's searching tongue and lifted the girl to her feet. He then raised Gretchen's legs, and, spreading them, pushed them up and back. This exposed the teenager's full sex crack, from her swelling clit, through her open, sloppy gash to the depths of her ass crack. Her budding asshole puckered wickedly upward as if begging to be stretched.
"Eat her shithole out, Miss Marsh," Jenkins said as he pointed at Gretchen's flexing anus.
Karen went to her friends spread ass crack and dove in tongue first. She loved sucking Gretchen's sweet ass and loved the flavor of the young girls scat. She licked and sucked all around the little shitter, working up a thick lather of spit before plunging deeply into the girl's shit passage.
Gretchen's warm rectum was still coated with remnants of her earlier bowel movement and Karen worked her tongue deliciously inside to scoop up the little morsels of foul waste.
Gretchen groaned loudly as she felt the erotic sensation of having her shit tube cleaned orally. She flexed her ass muscles in an attempt to suck Karen's soft tongue deeper into her bowels.
"Gooooooood," Gretchen hissed in a low moan as she worked her ass.
"That's very good Miss Marsh! Lick that hot little asshole! Suck her shit out of her! Get it nice and clean and wet for my hard cock," Jenkins coached her.
Karen licked and sucked for all she was worth, depositing large gobs of brown spit all over Gretchen's ass crack. She couldn't wait to see her friend's virgin ass spread open with her guidance counselor's fat cock sliding in and out.
"Let me see now, Miss Marsh," Jenkins said as he moved in close.
Karen pulled away and allowed her guidance counselor between Gretchen's legs. Jenkins examined the teenager's wet, flexing asshole with his middle finger, sliding it in and out to test the amount of lubrication. He found it to be more than adequate. Karen had given her friend a thorough tongue reaming.
"Very good, Miss Marsh! You are quite a good ass sucker," he commented.
Karen beamed at the compliment.
"Thank you sir," she said.
"Now, if you'll move close, I'll let you see how a young teenager's asshole looks with big stiff man-cock inside of it.
Karen moved in very close and peered between Jenkins and Gretchen.
"Now, Miss Richards. Just try to relax and when you feel pressure on your little hole down there, push as if you are trying to do a number two. OK?"
"OK," Gretchen replied, both excited and nervous as the same time.
Jenkins pushed the dribbling tip of his cock against the teenager's shit hole and stroked it up and down several times, teasing Gretchen's sphincter into relaxing a bit. When he saw the girl's chest begin to rise and fall more quickly, he pressed gently into her.
Gretchen felt the tip of her guidance counselor's prick head touch the entry to her scat tube and started to push down, causing her tight sphincter to swell outwards.
As Jenkins pushed the head of his cock into her, the pressure increased dramatically. Gretchen held her breath and pushed as hard as she could, causing her hole to open but tightening her rectal passage.
With one final push, Jenkins buried the head of his cock into Gretchen's ass.
"Grrrrrrrrrrrr!" Gretchen ground her teeth as her asshole was pushed open a full two inches. Searing, hot tendrils of pain shot from her sphincter into her rectum and she felt as if she had been ripped open.
The sensation of feeling the young teen's tight shit tube wrapped around his fuck meat sent perverse thrills through him. He paused only for a second before he plunged into her, burying the entire shaft of his cock into her, burning shit passage.
"Arrrrrrrgh! It hurts! It hurts," Gretchen cried out.
Jenkins quickly covered her mouth with his hand. He didn't need visitors right now.
"Sshhhh," he whispered. "It will get better in a moment."
He kept his hand over the teenager's mouth as he slowly fucked his cock in and out of her shit hole, his lust increasing as he went. Gretchen eventually stopped squealing and began to moan softly and he removed his hand from her mouth.
"Better, Miss Richards?"
"Mmmmm," Gretchen replied, nodding her head, a faint smile spreading on her lips. The fiery burning sensation in her ass was turning to a warm glow of exotic pleasure.
"It's nice," she said softly as she eased her hips up and down slowly, in rhythm with Jenkins movements.
Karen watched with wide eyes and a dripping cunt as her friend's asshole was spread and fucked. The pure perversity of the situation sent her pussy muscles flexing and her hand went between her own legs to play.
Gretchen's pussy was oozing large amounts of fuck juice as it gaped open above the man's cock, dripping them down onto him and helping lubricate the tight, warm hole he was fucking.
"Now, Miss Marsh. Suck MY ass for me while I fuck your girlfriend," Jenkins told her.
Karen went to her knees again behind the man and used her hands to spread his moving ass. At first she had a difficult time getting her face to move in rhythm with his thrusting hips but she finally sunk her soft tongue into his hairy asshole.
Jenkins let out at loud groan when he felt Karen's tongue squirm into his shit canal. He pushed his ass into her face in an attempt to get more of it inside of him. Gretchen was beginning to buck her ass up wildly at his cock and he increased the intensity and speed with which he fucked her.
"Oh! Mr. Jenkins! Fuck my asshole! Yes! Fuck it hard," Gretchen cried softly.
"Hmmmm! You sweet little teenage shit whores are something else! Such a tight fucking little asshole on you! Take it up your ass like a good little bitch," Jenkins hissed lewdly at her.
Although Karen was nearly content just to suck his nasty shitter, she secretly wished she could feel his cock inside of her. She ate noisily at the man's shit hole, making loud, nasty slurping sounds as she drank back her scat-tainted spit. Numerous curly, dark hairs from around Jenkins asshole fell onto her tongue and she swallowed those as well.
Karen heard the familiar sounds of her friends approaching climax and worked her mouth even harder on the guidance counselor's ass, causing Jenkins lust to rise along with Gretchen.
"Yeah! Suck my ass you little shit-whore! Suck the shit from me bitch," he yelled as he slammed into young Gretchen's rectum.
Gretchen fucked back with equally enthusiastic thrusts and soon her orgasm stormed through her.
"Yes! Fuck my asshole," she yelped. "I'm coming Mr. Jenkins! I'm cumming!"
Jenkins fucked Gretchen brutally, pounding his fat cock deep into the girl's young bowels. Soon, he too had reached the brink of orgasm, and with one last violent thrust he buried the entire length of his fuck meat into her.
Gretchen felt the hot sperm shoot from Jenkins cock and splash against her rectal walls like molten lava. Wild jolts of pleasure shot through her with each pulse of his shaft. And the intensity of her own orgasm increased.
"Oh! Cumming in my ass!" Gretchen grunted. "Karen! He's cumming in my asshole!"
Karen felt Jenkins asshole tighten around her tongue as he came and she tried to wedge it deeper inside of him to increase his pleasure. Sweat was beginning to form in the man's crack and it ran down to coat the exposed surface of Karen's tongue and lips.
Finally, as Gretchen's squirming ass milked the last bit of warm sperm from Jenkins' balls, he relaxed. Karen pulled her tongue from the gripping shit hole but continued to lap deliciously around it.
Jenkins breathing was ragged as he recovered from his intense cum. He was truly fucked out, his once-hard cock shrinking inside the teen's well-fucked shitter. He leaned over Gretchen and pressed his lips to hers, pushing his tongue into her waiting mouth. Gretchen responded by sucking and nibbling at it with passionate desire.
Gretchen jerked, suddenly feeling a gush of hot liquid fill her anal cavity. Jenkins was pissing into her asshole. The feeling was exquisitely sexy to her she began to giggle as she felt her bowels fill with warm pee.
Jenkins seemed to urinate in her for several minutes and when he was finished Gretchen felt as if she had taken a huge enema. The urge to shit was uncontrollable and small amounts of the man's urine and sperm leaked out from the place of their filthy union.
"Hold my hot piss inside you, Miss Richards," He whispered as he watched the mixture of fluids and loose, brown shit drool out of her. "Hold it tight!"
Jenkins eased his deflated prick from the young girls gaping asshole and quickly stepped aside. Grabbing Karen by the hair, he pulled her in close to Gretchen's ass and pushed her face towards the leaking shit hole.
Karen went to her friend's shitter with great enthusiasm and excitement, licking hungrily at the nasty mess that coated the swollen, bleeding hole.
"Get your mouth around it, Miss Marsh," Jenkins ordered.
Karen pressed her lips around Gretchen's disgusting shit hole and waited. She knew what was coming and waited for it with heated anticipation.
"Now, Miss Richards. Give your girlfriend some of your sweet rectal waste," Jenkins told Gretchen. Then he added, "Careful not to spill any on my carpet!"
Gretchen did her very best to release only a small dribble of sperm-piss into Karen's mouth but was unsuccessful at controlling it. Her asshole opened widely and a huge gush of filthy waste rushed out of her and into Karen's mouth.
Karen tried to swallow quickly but the flood of piss, sperm and shit grease was far to fast and hard for her to get it all. Each time her mouth filled, she closed it and swallowed, drinking down the disgusting bodily wastes from her best friends ass. She could taste each of the unique flavors as they slid down her throat and into her belly.
Gretchen vacated and Karen drank for several wonderful seconds. Then without any warning at all a rancid two-inch turd shot from Gretchen's shit hole into Karen's mouth, pleasantly surprising the young girl with its foul texture and taste.
Karen devoured the wad of shit quickly, chewing it with great pleasure as the filthy grease from it slid down her throat. It was over all to soon for Karen and she did her best to clean Gretchen's filthy crotch with her tongue.
When she was finished, Karen sat back on her legs, her face and chest wet with brownish piss and cum.
"Now, Miss Richards. It's time to return the favor," Jenkins said as he began to dress.
"Lie down, Miss Marsh, with your legs spread wide. That's right!"
"Now clean her up with your mouth, Miss Richards, and make her cum good."
Gretchen went to the floor and cleaned the nasty mixture of fluids from Karen's face, chest and belly. When she had finished cleaning her, she went to the girl's cunt and lapped hungrily at it, sending Karen into the throes of a delicious orgasm.
Jenkins gave the girls a bit of time to recover and then told them to dress.
"Now, ladies! I think you see the value of a good counseling session!"
"Mmmmmm," said Karen.
"Yes! It was wonderful," agreed Gretchen, giggling slightly. "I feel like a new person."
"Good," said Jenkins. "You both responded very well. I think with a regular counseling session each week, we will eventually have your little problem worked out and there won't be the need to worry about your previous violation of the rules."
"Yes sir," Karen said excitedly. "When is our next?"
"Lets see...I can schedule you both for Tuesdays at twelve o'clock. We'll have an hour session then. And Miss Marsh, next week we will put you in Miss Richards place. How do you feel about that?"
"I can't wait," Karen said with wide eyes.
"Since your offense was so grievous, we may have to do some weekend counseling as well, at my house."
"Yes sir," Gretchen agreed. "We just want help with our problem and you seem to be the one to help us best."
"Yes, I am," he said as he unlocked and opened his office door. "Yes, I am!"
THE END
I have two scientific proposals, one basically low-tech, and one involving cutting edge technology. They have little in common except that each, if implemented, might be construed as social engineering - dangerous when done by politicians or sociologists, but perhaps of value when performed by the scientific/intellectual elite. I'll cover the low tech proposal first.
To begin, we need to find a small group (20 - 30) of low income (white trailer trash would do nicely) expecting mothers who are (a) quite attractive and show past performance of producing attractive children and (b) would be willing, for a modest fee, to surrender their female child for the furtherance of science. Next, take these newborn infants away from their birth mothers and insure that they are fed formula only from "bottles" shaped like the adult human penis. As the children develop into the crawling stage, "penis feeders" would be mounted to the walls of their cages. Of course the formula would change to meet their developing nutritional needs, but no human contact, language development or socialization would be allowed. At an appropriate point, air bladders in their "penis feeders" would inflate to simulate erection, so that the children learn that a period of sucking is required before they are rewarded with food. No other source of food is allowed. At about 5 -6 years of age the girls would be taught to defecate in one corner of their cage, and at about 10 - 12 years of age would be slowly introduced to their human handlers, but again, no language or socialization skills are taught. At about 13 - 14 years of age the really interesting part of the experiment begins : the girls are lead on a leash out of their cage for "private feedings" with select staff members. These men take careful notes comparing the fellatio skills of the test subjects to a control adult female group (probably prostitutes). If the young girls' skills compare favorably, then they could be shipped to government research laboratories and housed in cages identical to the ones they were raised in. "Private feedings" would be used as a performance incentive for the best programmers, nuclear scientists, geneticists, engineers, etc. Such an incentive program might be just what's needed to restore the prestige of the scientific professions in this country and to lessen the flow of students into socially useless professions like law, sociology, and business administration. If nothing else, from a purely scientific point of view, I think it would be interesting to see whether the experiment could yield "fellatio superwomen."
The second proposal is much broader in scope, and its feasibility depends, in part, on the successful completion of the Human Genome Project. The idea in a nutshell is this: All pregnant women would be required to report before the 3rd month of pregnancy to a public health clinic where an in utero examination of the fetus' genetic material is conducted. Any red flags raised by the test (likelihood of fatal disease, likelihood of mental retardation, etc) would mean destruction of the fetus. This would also be the perfect time to cross match the mother with information from previous IQ tests, criminal justice system files, demographic data, etc. Gradually, as not to arouse suspicions, mothers with low IQ scores , criminal histories, or even just the wrong demographics would be presented with bogus test results indicating that their fetus must be destroyed. This could only have a beneficial effect on society, with minimal inconvenience to the population. And last but not least, this would also be a logical point to implement population control, the one topic our spineless shit politicians won't face.
Oh well, more about that later.
Suck it down like the jizz guzzling whore that you are !! BITCH!!
Because it is! How in God's name is this "news for nerds?" Have you actually *seen* W+G?
Let's call a spade a spade, and let's call Slashdot "news for retard five-year-old Brits." I think that's the target audience for W+G.
Thank you, you may go.
Lololol. Thanks for the funniest post I've read in ages.
Is this news for nerds?
:P
Not really. It could be, but it belongs in perhaps a subcategory. "News that really doesn't matter, but Taco wants to post something"
Does this matter?
Pretty much.. no.
Be glad the USA has no truth-in-advertising laws!
who modded this down?
i read they started with dog crap too!
should have been m0dded informative!
l4m3rz
Ok, this is not a troll, this is an honest request for assistance.
Let me begin by saying I'm an IT professional with a very busy life. Thus I don't cook alot. This evening I had some friends over who wanted to reheat some pizza. Shunning the microwave, they opted to use the oven instead. Thats when the grizzly discovery was made. Dannielle immediately caught my attention with her remark, "What is this shit in your oven?". After a few moments of investigation we relized it was in fact fecces. Further discussion allowed us to define the following facts:
1) Someone did in fact shit in the oven. It was not thrown in. The point of "impact" was on the glass window of the door, which must have been down when the "incident" occured.
2) The "incident" must have occured sometime between tonight and Aug 3, 2001. The oven has not been used since then.
3) The number of people with access (keys)to the apartment in this time can be for the most part be considered innocent. However, there was a big drunken party during the timeframe, and I was also out of province for a month.
Any help the slashdot crowd could suggest to discover the culprit of this indecency would be welcome.
Also welcoming suggestions for the best "Shit in Your Oven" jokes.
I'll be monitoring this thread if anyone needs any further information. Thanks.
People, come on. Don't feed the troll.
You know, my parents used to annoy the living daylights out of me while I was growing up, but your post reminded me that I should be grateful to them for at least one aspect of the way I was raised.
Even though I could read by the age of three, at no time did my mom and dad ever make any attempt to control or censor any form of media that I was exposed to. I'd read tracts from the Jehovah's Witnesses one day, and Peter Maas the next. Tom Swift in the morning, The Stand after school.
I think I was seven or eight when I first encountered the word "motherfucker" in print. I remember that it freaked me out for oh, at least the rest of the day.
So, major props go out to Mom and Dad for not insulting my nascent intelligence by "Net Nannying" the things I read, watched, and saw in my childhood. Technically, I guess it was enough for me to repay their trust by not gunning down my classmates, joining any Satanic cults, or knocking up anyone else's over-sheltered daughter in high school. Still, I feel I'm at least a little remiss in not thanking them for teaching me, by example, that because I'm a human being and not some sort of mindless but programmable automaton, words and pictures alone have no power to injure me.
Dad's gone now, so it's too late for me to let him know how much I appreciate being allowed to come to terms with unfamiliar, uncomfortable-sounding words and images without the additional burden of constant parental oversight. But next time I talk to her, I think I'll let my mother know that, from my vantage point of the ripe old age of 30-something years, she and Dad got at least a few important things right.
Although I did find the "penis shaped feeders" funny, it got out of hand in relation to kids man.
'Nuff said.
You're truly a sick bastard you know that?
How many times does it have to be said: People (i.e. non programmers) want computers to work for them, not the other way around. Your attitude is part of the reason Linux is less mainstream.