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Mac Thief Caught Thanks To Applescript & Timbuktu

el.cerrito.slasher sent in an amusing bit found on MacSlash. This story is a tale of a stolen iMac that just happened to be running Timbuktu (a remote control program like VNC I believe). Well the stolen box kept getting used, and the owner was able to track it down through a variety of amusing Timbuktu Fu. Funny story.

22 of 367 comments (clear)

  1. Re:Suggestions are crap by dair · · Score: 2, Funny
    Which is what he did:
    Probably the best news so far, I was able to insert a modified AOL connection file into the stolen machine today, with my home number as the primary dialin and my sister's number as the secondary. Coincidentally, I've since gotten about 15 calls from a particular person I don't know, and my sister has gotten about the same amount of calls from the same person.
    Unfortunately the number was unlisted.

    -dair
  2. NEEDED: new feature for Timbuktu by nizo · · Score: 3, Funny

    Now if only there was a way to remotely electrocute the current machine's user when they touched the keyboard (this feature might be useful in a day to day network environment as well).

    1. Re:NEEDED: new feature for Timbuktu by Anne+Thwacks · · Score: 2, Funny
      It would be really neat - we could use it to reduce the amount of spam in circulation.

      Mail filters could be really effective.

      Or maybe that needs an embedded nuclear weapon.

      --
      Sent from my ASR33 using ASCII
  3. Re:Can I do this with my laptop? by MaxH01 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Isn't that what Windows XP does - except it phones Bill Gates?

  4. A Friendly Face for Magic Lantern by guttentag · · Score: 2, Funny
    From the "Have you ever flashy-thinged me? Kay? I ain't playin'. Have you ever flashy-thinged me?" department:

    <SARCASM>
    In related news, the FBI has announced that its stealthy "Magic Lantern" program is officially being launched under the name "fbiJack."

    "This guy got lucky, but how 'bout you, Slick?" taunted Special Agent Kay. "Wouldn't you feel better knowing that fbiJack is running on your machine? You can pick up an installer disk at any U.S. Post Office or download it from Microsoft.com."
    </SARCASM>

    1. Re:A Friendly Face for Magic Lantern by Sarcasm_Orgasm · · Score: 0, Funny

      I didn't see it on microsoft.com & I'm not aloud to ever go back in the local Post Office, can you please send it to me? btw do they make a linux version?

      --
      Special people have long socks, ride short buses, & invent witty sigs.
  5. Mac Thief by flumps · · Score: 3, Funny

    I thought that his name was Hamburgler, not Mac Thief...

    Oh THAT kind of Mac.

    --
    "So there he is, risen from the dead. Like that fella, E. T." - Father Ted Crilly
  6. Now I understand... by Advocadus+Diaboli · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...why Windows XP is frequently calling "home" :-)

  7. Re:Can I do this with my laptop? by IceFox · · Score: 3, Funny

    My Compaq persario 800 (dual Ppro) does just this anytime it is rebooted. In the lovely bios that they put on 4 boot floppies which means it takes forever to do anything.

    --
    Do you changes clothes while making the "chee-chee-cha-cha-choh" transformation sound?
  8. Re:applescript strikes back by gazbo · · Score: 5, Funny
    set AppleScript's text item delimiters to {""}

    Yikes! That is some urglee code. I mean come on, since when has code used a possessive apostrophe? It's just......wrong.

    I'll grant it's wonderfully readable, but in people's experience, is it actually easy to write? I can imagine having difficulty remembering all of the exact 'easy-to-use' identifiers. Also, in some cases it seemed to match good grammar, whereas in other cases parts of verbs, plurals etc. were not used correctly. Is there a set of special cases you have to remember or what?
  9. lamers by Rinikusu · · Score: 5, Funny

    Seriously.

    If you were really serious about inflicting pain, how about:

    setting up one of those $125 per call phone lines in the bahamas and then having the imac call it every 2 minutes...

    repeatedly call 911 and play recorded message: "help! I've fallen and I can't get up!" over and over again

    install a keylogger so you can post their most intimate conversations on your website.

    those are just a few ideas that have popped in my head.. Hell, you could do that with VB email virii and make a mint with the first one...

    --
    If you were me, you'd be good lookin'. - six string samurai
    1. Re:lamers by buckrogers · · Score: 5, Funny

      I like your idea of having the iMac call the 900 number for cash. If it called enough times you could buy a brand new computer.

      I'm thinking that you need to turn off the speakers, turn off the modem sound and if there has been no activity for a few hours, at 4am have the system call that $125 number about 20 times in just a few hours.

      With this scheme you could sell reconditioned iMacs setup with this software out of the back of a van for about $100 apeice and just sit back and rake in the cash. The people who bought what they thought was stollen property will never say a word as long as you only ripped them off for a couple of thousand dollars.

      So, people, if you buy computers from the back of a van, don't complain when you get ripped off. :) You were warned!

      --
      -- Never make a general statement.
    2. Re:lamers by petej · · Score: 5, Funny

      "Hello, Miss Cleo? My name is Eliza."

    3. Re:lamers by shotfeel · · Score: 3, Funny

      Nah, if you really want to be cruel, add a few lines to the script to have it fire up iTunes and play through your music library repeatedly with visual effects on at full screen. Anyone with a lower than average IQ will be mesmerized, entering a catatonic state, and eventually starve to death.

  10. Re:Can I do this with my laptop? ... Yes, In theor by Anne+Thwacks · · Score: 5, Funny
    Don't bother with BIOS Passwords - that would require a bios hack, to say the least.

    The boot sector is replaced with a BSD style boot selector, set to boot from the "stolen" partition by default (ie if you are using the machine yourself, you select BSD or Windows - thief has 5 secs to figure out what is wrong, and cant, so gets default behaviour.

    After the initial boot sector process, control passes to a next stage, "Stolen" ... This displays a message "Unable to start Windows ... perhaps modem cable is not connected to the phone? ... Please connect cable to phone, and press return"

    The average thief will understand this, and connect the phone cable. The real owner would press CTL-ALT-DEL.

    When the thief connects the cable and presses "enter" the phone dials the owner, his mates, his mobile, his dog, cat, ma, pa, and the 911, 999 (in case its in Europe), FPI's private number, SWAT, the US Marines, Bin Laden, the Mafia hit-man hot line, and that number the Gas Company reserves for reporting leaking gas mains.

    Not only that, the boot sequence will auto-hack so this is the ONLY boot option, and disable CTL-ALT-DEL. The dialling sequence will repeat till the battery runs out.

    Someone will be pissed enough to find out who owns the unlisted number and send the boys with big sticks round for a visit.

    --
    Sent from my ASR33 using ASCII
  11. Re:Can I do this with my laptop? ... Yes, In theor by Ooblek · · Score: 3, Funny

    That sounds like an ok idea. I think if I did that to any of my machines I'd have to go bail my wife out of jail every night.

  12. Not the first Mac thief to be caught by b1t+r0t · · Score: 4, Funny
    Back in the late '80s, a friend of mine had one of the first Apple HD-20 hard drives. At a user group meeting someone stole the computer and hard drive. But not the boot disk. See, this wierd hard drive hooked up to the floppy port, and until the 512e/Mac Plus ROM, you had to have a special boot disk which contained a replacement floppy driver to use it.

    So he called up all the places in town that sold Macs (all two or three of them) and waited. Sure enough the idiot kid shows up at a store asking about an HD-20 boot disk. Snagged!

    The difference now is that the internet is everywhere, and it's now possible to have the computer "phone home".

    --

    --
    "Open source is good." - Steve Jobs
    "Open source is evil." - Microsoft
  13. Re:Neat! But . . . by mgblst · · Score: 2, Funny

    Now if G.Bush could just get a certain Saudi to steal his computer...

  14. Re:Suggestions are crap by Smoking · · Score: 1, Funny

    yeah...

    imac owner: Hello! This is John Doe from the Acme Insurance company.

    thief: Hello! What do you want?

    imac owner (aka John Doe): I've heard you bought a shiny new iMac lately...

    thief: Yes, indeed

    John Doe: I have a really cheap insurance package for you, that covers everything that can happen to your new computer. Figure that we even give you another one if it gets stolen!

    thief:....

    and so on...

  15. Re:Can I do this with my laptop? by SilentChris · · Score: 3, Funny
    I heard Linux calls Linus when he's at home. At 3:00 AM. In a different timezone.

    Poor guy.

  16. Woof! by tomblackwell · · Score: 3, Funny

    "An easier solution would be along the lines of what they do with dogs"

    Send it to obedience school? Teach it to heel?

    Watch out if your thief is Korean.

  17. Re:Right (not) [OT] by mikey504 · · Score: 2, Funny

    You're kidding!

    $50K and I get to carry a GUN?

    Screw system administration. I never get to wave a gun at anyone here...

    I'm going to sign up.

    I wonder what my odds of passing the psych eval are...