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A Quick Peek at Longhorn
Kaypro writes: "The Register
has an interesting article with some minor details regarding Microsoft's next OS.
P2P, filesystem plugins and some thoughts from Hans Reiser, of ReiserFS fame
make for an interesting read."
← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)
Sounds more like "thinking about the long term," which in my experience eliminates any possible involvement by marketing.
Microsoft will market themselves as a Media OS.
JLG will dethrone Bill Gates.
Stock value will plummet to 3.20.
Microsoft will start selling Internet Appliances.
That idea will crumble.
Palm will buy out Microsoft.
It's evolution folks.
Just think if this were extended to the whole Internet!
"Find pr0n featuring Traci Lord with two men wearing spandex."
"Find l33t games with midgets in Iowa."
"Find ripped versions of Longhorn Windows."
It is rumored that Microsoft started naming OS's with letters (ME, XP, ...) instead of year (95, 98, 2000) because according to their accelerated schedule, they were required to include the month as well: "Windows Jan2002", "Windows Nov2002", ...
I didn't realize that Apple was currently planning another new OS for Microsoft to use as their template...
-Barkeep, a draft of your most hazardous brew, for the world is slowly stepping into focus, and I don't like what I see.
"Microsoft will start selling Internet Appliances"
I'm still waiting for the successor to the "Audrey" internet appliance.
The first Audrey looked like a toilet tank. The 2nd one promises to add a porcelain bowl in front of it.
Look for Audrey II at Circuit City, Home Depot, and Lowe's
"Feed me Seymore!
Will Longhorn feature the Blue Cheese of Death?
After significant scientific endeavour, I have calculated the speed of slashdot to be a whopping 53720mph!
Time the register posted the original story:
28 January 2002 5:58pm
Time slashdot posted the link:
Tuesday January 29, @06:04PM
Therefore:
5.58pm - 06.04pm = 6 minutes
Distance from London, England to California, USA:
5372 miles
Therefore:
5372/6 = 895.3333333 miles per minute
=53720mph
Is this some kind of world record?
What a bunch of ignorant fools you nuts are. Its been two years since the release of Windows 2000. Don't you know yet that Win2K is EXTREMELY reliable?
I thought it was suppose to be a better Minix than Minix...
Minimum Hardware for Longhorn:
2.4Ghz Pentium 4
1GB DDR or RDRAM
UDMA133 10GB minimum for OS
nVidia GeForce3 or equal power 4x AGP card
Of course, those are just minimums to get it to BOOT. To actually use it, go SMP, double the RAM, and try hardware RAID if you actually want your hard drives to respond.
Other not-well-know features:
CD-RW support (only support 1x burn speed to slow down pirates, and includes a pseudo-random error generator to make CD coasters with an approximate ratio of 1:7)
DVD support (won't actually play DVDs because of DRM issues, just used to distribute software)
USB 2 support (finally)
Various NIC support (but it will still rely on noisy, broadcast-centric network protocols)
Modem support (WinModems preferred...but then again, who uses modems anymore [-1:flamebait])
And a plethora of other third-party devices are supported but will not work well with each other and whose drivers will on occasion cause Longhorn to hard-lock in a newly improved GREEN screen of death. (Their research indicated people have more positive emotions about the color green instead of blue. If you're color-blind, you unfortunately will see the same old BSOD.)
And of course, the number of system changes that require a reboot is dropped to an all-time low of THREE!!!
But what I want to know is: how often will you have to DE-FRAG the dbfs?
ESE? Why don't they just call it VATO or HOLMES or DOG or what ever else Mexican gangsters call each other ;)
-OFS
Sources inside of Microsoft were neither able to confirm nor deny rumors that Longhorn would have a built in multitasking Baked Potato Bar. They did however offer informaton regarding the new desktop themes which include Hickory Smoked, Wild West and Country Goodness. One source was quoted as saying, " Our main goal with this next OS is to get wait times down below 30 minutes for processes of 5 or more." It would seem that this is a hugh undertaking when weekends are thrown into this equation. As of this posting Microsoft plans to release Longhorn in two flavors: Smoking and Non-Smoking. -peel
computres never mkae mistooks. -WOPR
Of course, I could point out that nothing stops a Linux virus e-mailing your directories, either.
There are many hurdles to a Linux Virus:
1) Mircosoft programers aren't smart enough to make a Linux virus. Unix programmers are too busy making money, driving fast cars and picking up the babes to bother maing a virus.
2) Any Linux virus would have to come with it's own libraries, or at least come in a SuSE and Red Hat Version.
3) GNU/Virus doesent have a good ring to it.
4) The BSD Ports system would make any Linux virus delivery system obsolete.
5) There is no version of Outlook for Linux.
6) A Linux virus coulden't statically link to some libraries - it might violate the GPL and we couldent have that.
7) Linux users don't have many contacts in their address books, due to their bathing habits.
Moneyed corporations, non-working 'poor' and criminal prisoners are turning productive citizens into tax-slaves.
The only P2P transfer that Microsoft recognizes is changing money from your hand to theirs.
Slashdot: Failed Car Analogies. Amateur Lawyering. Anecdote Battles.
"Windows XP" is something new, "Windows 5.1" is just another minor upgrade.
Actually, I'd call XP a downgrade. Adding bugs to a version of windows which came close to being stable could never be an upgrade.
If I want fancy themed window borders I'll jump over to linux and kde and have all I want. If I want to waste cpu time I've got plenty of utilities that will eat it and give me pretty little items to look at as it kills it. If I want things hidden from me I'll just turn on cspan and watch congress.
If ignorance is bliss, the world is full of blissful people
1) ...Unix programmers are too busy making money, driving fast cars and picking up the babes to bother maing a virus.
7) Linux users don't have many contacts in their address books, due to their bathing habits.
Lucky thing that Linux isn't Unix eh? Oh yeah, this red hat box... that's running some kind of Unix... oh yeah, definitely... not sure which exactly, but it's definitely not Linux. My bath works fine thank you.
NO TOUCH MONKEY!