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Harddrive Speakers
paranoidia writes "Ever get annoyed by the loud noise your harddrive makes? I bet you never thought of actually using that to your advantage. A friend here at CMU actually took 3 broken hard drives and got them to spin at certain frequencies outputed by his computer. So in the end, three harddrives are actually now speakers! There are videos and a few pictures with explanations onto how he did this wonderous thing."
first post suckas!
...happened to spending your free time with members of the opposite sex. As opposed to spooging all over yourself in absolutely stupid technical self-flagellation exercises.
Get a life.
If by civilization you mean your own bigoted "pure race" (racial purity == genetic rot), then good riddance. Ill be laughing when your kind will be tried and executed by the international court of justice for crimes against humanity. I just hope theyll bring back the death penalty so that the genetic waste like you is finally eliminated from the gene pool.
The owls are not what they seem
Why is this flamebait? It's the most insightful post that's been made in this article thus far. I can't wait to see you assholes in metamoderation.
But is it News For Nerds, Stuff That Matters?
Wake up fucktard, it's a fake. Learn to use your brain.
Afroman (Joseph Foreman) - The Good Times - Complete Lyrics
.45
1. Because I Got High
I was gonna clean my room until I got high
I gonna get up and find the broom but then I got high
my room is still messed up and I know why
- cause I got high [repeat 3X]
I was gonna go to class before I got high
I coulda cheated and I coulda passed but I got high
I am taking it next semester and I know why
- cause I got high [repeat 3X]
I was gonna go to work but then I got high
I just got a new promotion but I got high
now I'm selling dope and I know why
- cause I got high [repeat 3X]
I was gonna go to court before I got high
I was gonna pay my child support but then I got high
they took my whole paycheck and I know why
- cause I got high [repeat 3X]
I wasnt gonna run from the cops but I was high
I was gonna pull right over and stop but I was high
Now I am a paraplegic - because I got high [repeat 3X]
I was gonna pay my car note until I got high
I was gonna gamble on the boat but then I got high
now the tow truck is pulling away and I know why
- because I got high [repeat 3X]
I was gonna make love to you but then I got high
I was gonna eat yo pussy too but then I got high
now I'm jacking off and I know why
- cause I got high [repeat 3X]
I messed up my entire life because I got high
I lost my kids and wife because I got high
now I'm sleeping on the sidewalk and I know why
- cause I got high [repeat 3X]
I'm gonna stop singing this song because I'm high
I'm singing this whole thing wrong because I'm high
and if I dont sell one copy I know why
- cause I'm high [repeat 3X]
2. Crazy Rap
Wait a minute, man. Hey, check this out, tell it. It was this blind man, right?
Man, check this out- it was this blind man, right?
He was feelin' his way down the street with this stick, right?
Hey. He walked past this fish market, you know what I'm sayin'?
He stopped, he took a deep breath, he said,
Woooooo, good morning, ladies.
You like that shit, man? Hey, man, I got a gang of that shit, man.
I tell you what- my man on the guitar, fool on the drums,
everybody just crowd around the mic, I'll tell you all these mutha-fuckin' jokes.
But first, I'ma start it off like this. Hey, help me sing it, homeboy.)
Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need.
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed.
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong.
So roll, roll, roll my joint. Pick out the seeds and stems.
Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palmdale, skatin' on Dayton rims.
So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coup de Ville.
If my tapes and my cds just don't sell, I bet my caddy will.
Well it was just sundown in a small white town. They call it Eastside Palmdale.
When the Afroman walked through the white land, houses went up for sale.
Well, I was standin' on the corner sellin' rap cds when I met a little girl named Jan.
I let her ride in my Caddy cause I didn't know her daddy was the leader of the Klu Klux Klan.
We fucked on the bed, fucked on the flo', fucked so long, I grew a fuckin' afro.
Then I fucked to the left, fucked to the right. She sucked my dick 'til the shit turned white.
I thought to myself, Sheba, Sheba! Got my ass lookin' like a ZEBRA!
I pulled on my clothes and I was on my way, until her daddy pulled up in a Chevrolet.
I ran. I jumped out the back window, but her daddy, he was waitin' with a 2 x 4.
Oh, he beat me to the left, he beat me to the right. The mutha-fucker whooped my ass all night.
But I ain't mad at her prejudiced dad, that's the best damn pussy I ever had.
I got a bag of weed and a bottle of wine. I'm a fuck that bitch just one more time.
Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need.
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed.
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong.
So roll, roll, roll my joint. Pick out the seeds and stems.
Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palmdale, skatin' on Dayton rims.
So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coup de Ville.
If my tapes and my cds just don't sell, I bet my caddy will.
I met this lady in Hollywood. She had green hair, but damn she looked good.
I took her to my house, cause she was fine, but she whipped out a dick that was bigger than mine.
I met this lady from Japan, never made love with an African.
I fucked her once, I fucked her twice. I ate that pussy like shrimp fried rice.
Don't be amazed at the stories I tell ya. I met a woman in the heart of Australia.
Had a big butt and big titties, too, so I hopped in her ass like a kangaroo.
See, I met this lady from Hawaii. Stuck it in her ass, and she said, Aiiiiieeee!
Lips was breakfast, pussy was lunch, then her titties busted open with Hawaiian Punch.
Met Colonel Sander's wife in the state of Kentucky. She said, I'll fry some chicken if you just fuck me.
I came in her mouth. It was a crisis. I gave her my secret blend of herbs and spices.
Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need.
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed.
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong.
Hey, wait a minute man, check this out.
I met Dolly Parton in Tennessee. Her titties were filled with Hennesy.
That country music nearly drove me crazy, but I rode that ass and said, Yes, Miss Daisy!
Met this lady in Oklahoma; put that pussy in a coma.
Met this lady in Michigan; I can't wait 'til I fuck that bitch again.
Met a real black girl in South Carolina; fucked her 'til she turned into a white albino.
Fucked this hooker in Iowa. I fucked her on credit, so I owe her.
Fucked this girl, down in Georgia; came in her mouth. Man, I thought I told ya.
Met this beautiful sexy ho; she just ran cross the border of Mexico.
Fine young thing, said her name's Maria. I wrapped her up just like a Hot Tortilla.
I wanna get married, but I can't afford it. I know I'ma cry when she gets deported.
Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need.
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed.
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong.
Have you ever went over to a girl's house to fuck, but the pussy just ain't no good? (SAY WHAT?)
And then you're getting' upset cause you can't get her wet, plus you in the wrong neighborhood?
So you try to play it off and eat the pussy, but it takes her so long to come (SAY WHAT?)
Then a dude walks in. That's her big boyfriend, and he asks you where you from? (Where you from, man?)
So you wipe your mouth, and you try to explain (I don't bang.), you start talkin' real fast.
But he's already mad, cause you fuckin' his wife, so he starts beatin' on your ass.
Now your clothes all muddy, your nose all bloody, your dick was hard but now it's soft. (WHUT?)
You thought you had a girl to rock your world, now you still gotta go jack off.
Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need.
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed.
[fade out]
3. She Won't Let Me...
(Hey Sugar, how you doin'? Your pretty face don't match that nasty attitude. What do you mean, 'Where's my girl?' Probly with your man. Can we fuck?)
She won't let me fucc.
I really need to bust a nut.
She won't let me fucc.
I really need to bust a nut.
(Hey, check this out.)
It's so frustrating being a man, all these sexy women don't understand
Things we need to do, every other day or two (Like what man?)
Like take you home baby, and make sweet love to you,
But you, you won't let me fucc.
She won't let me fucc. (You say the mood ain't right.)
I really need to bust a nut. (I know that pussy's tight.)
She won't let me fucc. (Give it to me, baby.)
I really need to bust a nut.
Her heart is still broken, (Poor baby.) her emotions are sore. (I know what you mean, girl.)
She is trying to recover from the man before. (Hey, that's my homeboy, cuz.)
Her ex-boyfriend, (Who, Jermaine?) he probly can't see (shake that ass.)
that it was easy for him (uh, say what?) but he made is hard for me. (Why, man?)
Cause she, she won't let me fucc.
She won't let me fucc. (Aw, give it to me baby.)
I really need to bust a nut. (You know just what I need.)
She won't let me fucc. (Girl, you eatin' all my food, you drinkin' all my beer)
I really need to bust a nut. ( you smokin' all my weed!)
You rub your ass against me on the disco floor. (shake that ass.)
I asked you for your number and you said 'Hell no!'
(That's alright. Hey, fuck that bitch look at that one over there,cuz.)
You always hang around me everyday. Different women wanna kick it, but you scare them away.
Now I get offended when you come around, cause I'm tired of my organs (Your organs?) going up and down. That sucks, cause she won't let me fucc.
She won't let me fucc. (Aw, give it to me baby, give it to me honey.)
I really need to bust a nut. (Don't play with my head again.)
She won't let me fucc. (Let me hit it baby, let me hit it baby.)
I really need to bust a nut. (Are you a lesbian?)
Oh, let me lick it baby. Let me stick it honey. Buccoooc!
I'll give you my money.
Girl, you can have it all. Go ahead and have a ball.
If you want, you can take them both, baby.
In the year 2000 I see thousands of pretty young women I find arousin'
Grocery store shopping, magazine browsin', many different ways they keep their hair styles and
Full of boredom, I walk toward 'em, get 'em close to me cause I'm supposed to be
Male aggressor, female impresser. Say the right things, possibly undress her.
But that's the post game, this is still the pre-game.
Silly woman She-game. Baby, what's your name?
Even though I'm a freak, I play it off like a college geek, crack a smile and politely speak
With intellect to the woman I select, hoping that she won't detect
my egotistical chauvinistical lust I thrust 'til I scream like Mystical.
The wrong message I hope I'm not sending. Laughing and pretending my dick's not extending.
Can't be overzealous, she might discover. She's walkin' away, (Biatch!) blew my cover.
She won't let me fucc. (You know I love you.)
I really need to bust a nut. (Please don't change the subject.)
She won't let me fucc. (We coulda fucked all night long)
I really need to bust a nut. ( but, but, but, but your telephone number is wrong.)
She won't let me fucc. (Girl you got a lot to give.)
I really need to bust a nut. (You dress, you dress, so provocative.)
She won't let me fucc. (I can see your lingerie, from real far away.)
I really need to bust a nut. (Bitch, you must think I'm gay.)
Don't make me beg. Baby, let me rub your leg.
Don't make me cry. Look into my eye.
Girl, you damn pretty. Stop actin' so, ____? Put some oil on your titt--.
Hey, man, I'm up outta here. She don't wanna fuck.
4. Hush
Hook] (Afroman talking)
Hush, hush (yeah yeah)
Somebody's callin my name (if you listen closely baby)
Hush, hush (yeah yeah)
Somebody's callin my name
Hush (listen baby) hush (somebody's callin)
Somebody's callin my name
Oh my lord, oh my lord, what shall I do
(A man sometimes girls think I'm crazy cause I wake
her up and I tell her)
Sounds like Jesus (sounds like Jesus)
Somebody's callin my name (I know I'm high but baby)
Sounds like Jesus
And somebody's callin my name
Sounds like Jesus
Somebody's callin my name
Oh my lord, Oh my lord, what shall I do
(You know man, I think about all the hard times that I
went through and I think)
I'm so glad that trouble don't last always
I'm so glad that trouble don't last always
I'm so glad I'm glad that trouble don't last always
Oh my lord, Oh my lord, what shall I do
I gotta feelin, that everything's gonna be all right
I gotta feelin everything's gonna be all right
I gotta feelin that everything's gonna be all right
Be all right
Be all right
Be all right
(A man it's funny cause I learnt this song when I was a little kid
When I went to visit my granddaddy down there in Mobile, Alabama
He stayed in this place called Trendy Garden you know what I'm sayin?
He used to grow his vegetables right there on the side of the house
And every now and then he'd get me to help him out know what I'm sayin?
And as he was like weedin out his garden and everything
He'd sing all kinda tunes and hymns know what I'm sayin?
And sometime he'd sing the same one like over and over and over again
You know what I'm sayin?
He'd get tired of singin the words
Sometimes he'd take a sip of his water outta that glass jar, set it back down
And while we was plantin them collard greens, he'd hum it
Just like this right here, help me out cuz, you know how we used to do it)
{*humming*}
It gets all in my hands
It gets all in my feet
It makes me wanna sing my song
To every little girl I meet
It gets all in my heart
It gets all in my sole
It comes straight out my mouth
And then I lose control
Cause I, I got this feelin, that everything's gonna be all right
Be all right
Be all right
Be all right
5. Tumbleweed
Artist: Afroman
Album: The Good Times
Song: Tumbleweed
Typed by: jdog420_2001@hotmail.com *
* send corrections to the typist
Damn how long it's gonna take you to roll the joint cuz
(I just got the bag)
You over there actin like you playin the piano or something cuz
(I just got the bag homie. Know what I'm sayin.
Chill the fuck out homie.)
Here, let me hit this homeboy
(Here)
La da da da da
Shoop Shoop Shoobie doo wa
Yeah, it looks lovely
Hey where the light loc
(Right here cuz)
Give it here man stop bullshittin
I love you baby
I love you honey
Yes I dooo
Do it to me girl uh
Yeah Yeah, (chicken clucking)
Yeah Yeah, (chicken clucking)
Fo Sho'
Yeah
It's been a long long time I've been smokin
Smokin marijuana
(La da da da da)
It takes out of my mental ghetto and places me in the bahamas
It's been a long long time I've been smoking
Smokin marijuana
(La da da da da)
It takes out of my mental ghetto and places me in the Bahamas
It puts my mind at ease
Indulgin myself in the calm breeze
And my problems will flow away beyond the palm trees
Chorus
*But I gotta keep smokin and a smokin and a smokin on
I keep chokin and a chokin and a chokin on
I keep sellin and a sellin and inhalin
My tumbleweed
I like to go to palmdale
(Yeah)
Sit by the fountain
(sit by the fountain)
I light up a fat one gazin at the snow-capped mountains
(come again now uh)
I like to go to palmdale
Sit by the fountain
(sit by the fountain)
I light up a fat one gazin at the snow-capped mountains
Baby please don't nag
Go and get me the zig-zag
And my problems will float away
Like a plastic baiiiag
Chorus
I need to get a job
And that's not funny
(La da da da da)
Cuz me be smoking too much ganja
(yeah)
And be runnin out of money
I gotta lie to the man
(let me get an application)
Tell him that I've never been arrested
(sir you have never been to jail)
I gottta go to the clinic baby
I gotta get drug tested
(oh no)
I got no food for my stomach
Got no gas for my coup de ville
I gotta walk to the supermarket for some goldenseal
Cuz everyday
Chorus
Ohhh, Ohhh Yeahhhh
Uh
I said the black man smokin
(black man smokin)
If he's a soul bro
(Hey man what's happening)
I said the mexican smokin
(mexican smokin)
If he's a cholo
(where you from esse)
I said the creole smokin
(creole smokin)
Down in Mississippi
(Fuck creoles)
I said the white man smokin
(white man smokin)
If he's a hippie
(where's the bud man)
It puts my mind at ease
Indulgin myself in the calm breeze
And my problems will flow away beyond the palm trees
Chorus
Right about now
(ohhh)
I'm fixin to dedicate this to everybody
(oohhhh yeahh)
That went to palmdale high school with me
Check this shit out cuz
(BeatBoxing and singing)
I said Joey Jo has an afro
Sing something with soul chillin ice cold
Jerry with the high top fade
Left palmdale but he still gettin paid
Hey man take me back to the bridge we up outta here man
It puts my mind at ease
Indulgin myself in the calm breeze
And my problems will flow away beyond the palm trees
Whatcha gotta do
Chorus
6. Let's All Get Drunk
[Chorus]
Let's all get drunk tonight
I hope I don't fight with a punk tonight
Let's all get high tonight
Maybe nobody will die tonight
Let's all sell yell tonight
I hope I don't go back to jail tonight
Let's go to the club tonight
Find a woman that wanna make love tonight
A yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Let's get dumb
Drink some rum
Make my teeth and gum feel real numb
We'll be thinking bout survivin
While we're drinkin and we're drivin
Hope I don't wreck when my vision gets blurry
Sober up lookin at an all white jury
Judge don't like no drunk like me
Punk might give me strike number three
Cause when I'm drunk and when I'm high
I don't give a damn bout a DUI
Let's just get lit
Dance like a nitwit
Try to talk to the women that we can't get with
Me and my staff make everybody laugh
If the beer runs out we can all go half
It's Friday night got the perfect weather
Let's get drunk together
[Chorus]
Bacardi, Colt
Let's party we still alive
Tomorrow brings pain and sorrow
but tonight, we're all right
Drink that beer till your belly can't hold it
Tell the homeboys we fittin to get loaded
Rollin through the Ante-dope Valley out there
Hope the cops don't smell that beer on my breath
Cause if the sheriff
Catch a whiff
Of that fifth
It'll probably knock him stiff
Don't look dumb if my breath on hum
Stick your hand in you're pocket please, pass some gum
So the cops can't tell my breath smell
We won't go to jail
We'll go to Palmdale
With the beautiful women and the beautiful weather
We can both get drunk together
[Chorus]
Baby I beg your pardon
But your outfit's givin me a hardon
Maybe some way, maybe some how
You could dance with me, right here, right now
Been lookin at you all night long
That DJ's playin my favorite song
Everything's splendid, don't mean no harm
Don't get offended when I pull your arm
I ain't felt this good since I don't know when
And I might not feel this good again
It's Friday night, beautiful weather
Let's get drunk together
[Chorus - 2X]
7. Tall Cans
Ahhhhhhhhhhh shit! shit! shit!
Now I'm walkin down the street with some chicken and a forty
I'm yellin at these hoochies and I'm lookin for a party
Drink it fast, make it last, till you know it ain't no mo'
Run outta doe, slap the hoe,
get the do' and go back to that liquor sto'
[Chorus - repeat 4X]
Afroman likes tall cans
Now I'm a afroholic, call me Afroman
Love to sag my khakis with a tall can
My homies pop the forty of some St. I's
Now that mother uh! staggerin from side to side
We the loudest homeboys in my neighborhood
We look real bad but we feel so good
My thirst is quenched but my cravin won't extinguish
I need some forty ounce mother uh! Old English
Put the top in my mouth put the bottom to the ceilin
Drink it down down until I get that crazy feelin
Now just walkin down the street with some chicken and a forty
I'm yellin at these hoochies and I'm lookin for a party
Drink it fast, make it last, till you know it ain't no mo'
Run outta doe, slap the hoe,
get the do' and go back to that liquor sto'
[Chorus]
See these girls be actin all bad and rude
Always gotta bad attitude
See I just wanna dance, why can't you get the picture
Act like a brother wanna move in with cha
I gots no fame, I gots no wealth
So I whined up dancin by my God damn self
But I pay my money, just like you
And baby I'ma do what I came to do
You see I can't wait around till I get rich
Just to make yo gold diggin attitude switch
So I'm walkin down the street with some chicken and a forty
I'm yellin at these hoochies and I'm lookin for a party
Drink it fast, make it last, till you know it ain't no mo'
Run outta doe, slap the hoe,
get the do' and go back to that liquor sto'
[Chorus]
I stepped into this party full of Mexicans
I didn't realize I was the only black man
One hand on my bottle, the other on my peter
I barked like a dog and started freakin senoritas
I think she was embarrassed with the eight ball in my cup
She kept on steppin back so I kept on steppin up
This vaco strolled up, put his gun to my head
I knew if I moved I was officially dead
That had to be his woman, I know it doggonit
8. Palmdale
Yeah
Yeah
Just like bums, we used to stay
In the slums of LA, by the way
Gang-bangers killin' each other for reps
Sellin' rock cocaine on my doorstep
Had a ball to bounce plus a bike to ride
But my mamma never would let me play outside
But when I got enrolled in elementary school
Started bangin' like a fuckin' fool
So cool, throwin' up gang signs to the gangster beat
Shot an enemy from across the street
Mamma came home, said she got a good job
Daddy did too, now they don't squab
Financially, we improvin'
2 months later, "son, we movin"
No more duckin' from shotgun shells
Bought a two-story house in East Palmdale
Give it to me now
Palmdale, come back to me
I need you and I love you, baby
Palmdale, come back to me
Check it out, check it out, check it out
No more rats and no more roaches
Livin' next door to football coaches
Now I got a new place to sell my crack
Now I got little white kids to jack
I stopped wearin' blue, wasn't trippin' on red
Too busy squabbin' with the skinheads
Stupid questions, distract the class
Rubbin' little white girls on the ass
I didn't really care if I passed or failed
I knew I was headed for the NFL
Until the playoff game, shoulder got hurt
I thought about my future, layin' in the dirt
I can't jump, I can't flinch
Superstar player, ridin' the bench
Graduate from school? Don't make me laugh
I got an F+ in basic math
Give it to me now
Palmdale, (Hell yeah) come back to me
I gotta do one song for my neighborhood (chicken sound)
Palmdale, come back to me
Uh, uh, check it out
I knew I couldn't make it in the white man's world
So I bought me some khakis and a Gheri curl
I knew I couldn't make it to the NFL
I went to East Palmdale and started slangin' yell
Fo' sho'! I was makin' crazy dough
Shoulda dropped outta school a long time ago
Bought a cell phone, like a nut
Now I deliver like Pizza Hut
I drunk whiskey and Bacardi
I sold dope to anybody
Me and my homies sold dubs and dimes
Took turns bustin' rhymes just to pass the time
A white man drove up to my spot
He said, âoeHey homeboy, what you got?â
I put a fat rock inside his hand
About 25 sheriffs jumped out the van
âoeGet down, punk.â
Palmdale, (Hell yeah) come back to me
Uh, I need you and I love you baby
Palmdale, come back to me
Check it out, check it out, check it out
Can't get drunk, can't get blunted
LA County, 95 hundred
9. Mississippi
(Afroman talking)
(Palmdale was like the peak of my life
But Palmdale over with homeboy
I'm fittin to go home cuz)
Please take me back home (you know what I'm sayin)
To Mississippi
(I got my Greyhound ticket right here man
I'm fittin to go back and kick it with my family cuz)
Please take me back home (take a couple pounds of this weed)
To Mississippi
(You shmell me homeboy
Yeah, take them fools back to '82 cuz)
Before South Central, Palmdale flossin
I stayed in a place called Palmer's Crossing
Hattiesburg, Mississippi
Smokin marijuana like a Woodstock hippy
All my homies in Laurel
Beg borrow
Buy my rap tape tomorrow
Tell DJ Pumpkin "Keep it crunckin Clyde"
Request my tape when you go inside
So I can take Jane and girl
To Waynesboro
Fuck their little homegirl
Make her toes curl
Rock their world
Leave with their Auntie Sheryl
She sucks me sucks me
Fucks me fucks me
Cries every time I leave Biloxi
But I hops in the Coup
Cause I gots to go
Scoop another ho
From Tupelo
Hit it once hit it twice, then I hit it again
Hit it in Meridian
Make that bitch rub her clit again
Pinch the nipples on her tit again
Suck my dick until she spit again
[Chorus]
Please take me back home (Hell yeah)
To Mississippi
Crooked letter crooked letter hump-back hump-back
Afroman's the bomb, bump that
Please take me back home (Hell yeah)
To Mississippi
From the delta to the coast
I'm doin the most
Grab your 40 ounce, let's toast.
I sold rock cocaine down in Ellisville
Baseheads hit the pipe, they can tell it's real
Kept my dope stashed with this hoochie
Way down yonder in East Bouche
Cops be sweatin outta town dog
Sniffin my car with a hound dog
Separate me from my bitch and shit
Tryin to get my bitch to fuckin snitch and shit
Officer Roscoe P. Coltrane
Runnin warrant checks on the Afroman
But I can't be no hip hop star
Cuffed in the back of some police car
Did you find the gun? NO!
Did you find the dope? NO!
Open up the back door "Well son, you're free to go"
A-F-R-O marijuana cargo
Flossed like a cholow
In a clean low glow
Come on let's all get drunk tonight
I hope I don't fight with a punk tonight
Get nervous
As I swerve this
Cadillac through Purvis
Hope I don't crash when I hit Petal
Get my ass kicked in the white ghetto
Prejudice police won't let me go
So I'ma drive slow
Hide my fro
I was dumb, now I'm dumber y'all
last summer y'all
I fucked all the little girls down in Sumrall
Grabbed my guitar and started pickin a tune
For Nikki and June
Down in Picayune, baby
Just like a shovel I be diggin
All the pretty young women in Wiggins
On the boat
Gulfport
I got my dick down some girl's throat
I can't help it I'm a Crip baby
I think you need to wipe your lip baby
Hula Hula Hula
The whole house ruler
What's up with all the bitches down in Pascagoula
Small towns, small cities
But they still got big ole asses plus titties
Is it a bird? Is it a plane?
It's the hungry hustler Afroman
Flyin through the air in my underwear
Geri curl activator in my hair
I'm in control like Janet when I hit Jackson
Always gettin plenty panty action
McClaine, even McComb
Tell the whole world Mississippi's your home
Yazoo, Columbia and Natchez
I got the weed brother, who got the matches?
Who got the funky DJ that scratches?
Depend on me like my name was patches
First it was a black thing, just the big Willies
Now I roll Phillies
With all the Hillbillies
Never ever thought I'd see the Klu Klux Klan
Buying front row seats for the Afroman
Confederate flags tobacco in their mouth
It's a beautiful thing jumpin off in the South
Afroman, I'm a part of it
Hattiesburg hip hop I'm the start of it
I'm the latest
I'm the greatest
And all you haters, I'll mash you like potatoes
I'll make your girlfriend holler and scream
Then cook me some cornbread and collard greens
[Chorus]
1982, '83, '84
Erin, Broste, Carlos, and Tonto
Tryin to break dance in my B-Boy stance
Micheal Jackson glove, parachute pants
Calvin Gary, Garnett Jones
G-dog cuz, I don't believe we grown
But hey G-dog, you and me'll see dog
Whatever happens cuz, it's you and me dog
Or should I say loc
Cause you my folk
So let's take a toke
Till we croak
I'm a locsta locsta
Hundred spokesta
Drinking everyday like I'm supposed to
Bottle after bottle dog in my lip-a
Flowing on the mic like the Mississippi river
[Chorus - 2X]
10. The American Dream
Yes! Yes! Thank you for inviting me here for my final speech.
Ladies and gentlemen, homosexuals, lesbians, and transvestites,
allow me to introduce myself as the Hungry Hustler, Afroman.
I am the American Dream. Even though the government tried to experiment with me
by placing me in the projects,± I'm still the American Dream.
Surrounded by drugs,
jeopardized my life by living around thugs,
but I'm still the American Dream.
Kicked outta Palmdale High School
because I was considered a distraction to the educational process.
I've traveled through the complete metamorphosis of the justice system,
and I'm still the American Dream.
Entered Juvenile Hall as a tadpole;
hopped outta prison as a bull frog,
but I'm still the American Dream.
The most rejected, disrespected,
when I went for a job I was never selected,
but I am still the American Dream.
And right about now,
I find it quite serendipitous to see that all of you some-timin',
wishy-washy, two-faced, back-stabbin',
coniving hypocrites have accumulated here in my midst to persecute my character
with such flagrant slanderousity,
but I counter-attack by calling it constructive criticism,
and all of your negativity has been recycled into motivation,
and I am still the American Dream.
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now I'm found; was blind, but now I see.
There's a lot of people out there who can identify with me.
Young lady right here, you may be a single teenaged mother,
but you are still the American Dream.
The lady next to you, yes. Your breasts may not be as big as men think they should be,
but you are still the American Dream.
Young man, you may not be a baller, shot caller,
with 20 inch blades on the impala, but you are still the American Dream.
Young man right here, you may have spent all your money on a hood rat bitch
and didn't get no pussy last night, but you are still the American Dream.
Yes sir, I am just like Ham. I'm for the black man,
the mexican, and even poor white,
all human beings that have no rights. So put down your past, pick up your future,
follow me as we journey through the Red Sea,
cause I have been to the mountain top,
I've seen the Promised Land,
mine eyes have seen the glory of the Underground Category.
My mind has been delivered.
My spirit has been reinstated from the Corporate World's modern-day slavery.
I've been emancipated. Free at last! Free at last! Fuck a drug test,
I'm fittin' to roll some grass. Love, peace, and Afro grease, Fro-ever! Buccooocc!