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Microsoft Enters the Cell Phone OS Market
PuZZLeR writes: "Today, Microsoft unveiled a new operating system for mobile phones (named 'Windows Powered Smartphone 2002') and plans to fully enter the wireless data devices with voice capabilities by utilizing both cellphones and PDA devices. TI already created a reference design for the Ms powered phone. While this sounds like Microsoft is going after Handspring, RIM or Danger, cellphone OS manufactures, like Nokia and OpenWave are expected to counteract to the announcements. Today, Nokia announced it will offer mobile phone makers its own development kit and OS."
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Among the various literary genres, perhaps none proves such a fertile dumping ground for fecal imagery as science fiction.
From Asimov to Zelazny, nearly every work of science fiction squeezes in its own often subtle (and, often, not-so-subtle) breed of excretory metaphors.
An example of toilet imagery plain to even the dullest mind is present throughout Larry Niven's award-winning novel Ringworld. On the most fundamental level, even the setting of the story stinks of the water closet. Specifically, the Ringworld itself is a hundred million mile diameter "ring" of material, on which various species live out their regimented lives.
Surely, the Ringworld is the most transparent kind of metaphor -- clearly representing a galactic-sized toilet seat (or, "ass-toroid", as any ass-trophysicist might conjecture). The various species living out their miniature lives are intended to represent the various intestinal flora that live and breed on your own toilet seats. The metaphor could not be clearer.
As an exercise, I leave it up to the gentle reader to log other fecal imagery throughout the plot, setting, and characters in this important work. Any reasonable person will admit that Niven's usage of such imagery was intentional, and adds particular punch to the force of his story.
In fact, one of the two sequels to this famous novel is entitled The Ringworld Throne -- providing incontrovertible validation of this observation. Mr. Niven maintains the parallel of the Ringworld to the toilet throughout, going so far as to name the book after a euphemism for a commode.
Examples of subtler variations on this theme may be found in Isaac Asimov's work, for Asimov always appreciated decorum and cleverness -- he'd never leave a steamy pile in plain view.
For instance, in his celebrated and Hugo award-winning novel Foundation's Edge (note: edge), one of the two strong female characters is named Harla Branno. Harla Branno is a cunning, portentous, quasi-masculine firebrand who is able to smoothly manipulate her underling (Golan Trevize) into undertaking a dangerous journey.
The suspense and tension are maintained until the very last moment, when all is released in a sudden and surprising way. And that completes the picture. From the title, to the character names (Branno = bran, Golan = Colon), to the sudden-release structure of the plot, all is feces. Bravo, Isaac!
Also lost on many of today's readers is the constipation imagery in The Moon is a Harsh Mistress, by Robert Heinlein. Once the title itself is considered in the context of bathroom ritual, the previously elusive interpretation is brightly revealed. Possibly the "moon" is in one sense Earth's satellite -- but the literary analyst with sufficient acumen will surely appreciate the simultaneity in interpreting this as meaning "ass".
That the "moon" is a "harsh mistress" means, in the former sense, that man's invasion of the Moon as a home for humanity, complete with its unique social, political, and economic ramifications provides a rich and nearly insurmountable physical and mental challenge. In the latter sense, however, surely Heinlein intends to liken this sociological struggle to the physiological battle of defecation with bowels slightly obstructed. In fact, the parallels are irresistible, once brought into the light of day.
Some authors confine their fecal imagery to the title alone, as L. Sprague de Camp with the obvious Lest Darkness Fall, and Robin Hobb's much more subtle Assassin's Quest. Some manage to split it among a book and its sequel, as was done with Conflict and Resolution by Hamilton. Yet others have apparently toilet-free titles, and restrict their coprophilic allusions to character names, as with "Jonnie" in Battlefield Earth by L. Ron Hubbard. In any case, a sufficiently probing search will reveal the offending mass of bathroom-based alchemy subliminally inserted into our consciousness by American science fiction authors.
Surely a fecal conspiracy is afloat in the sea of science fiction, and try as we might, never can we flush all traces of such imagery away. We are left little choice but to wipe it out of our minds as we read, enjoying the yarn itself without succumbing to its darker tendency.
this is a terribly wasteful first poost. you are not titties.
Xcrap 0.3, Distributed under the giant penis licence WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY!
.NET i mean a lot of gnome developers got so pissed that they wanted to cut off the head of miguel de icaza because of the shit shouting out on reports and other crap.: 'we want this and we want that' sure if they pay fine for gissed that they wanted to cut off the head of miguel de icaza because of the shit gissed that they wanted to cut off the head of miguel de icaza because of the shit shouting out on reports and other crap.: 'we want this and we want that' sure if they pay fine for gn shouting out on reports and other crap.: 'we want this and we want that' sure if they pay fine for gnome then why not. same for ximian and their sick roadmap with .NET i mean a lot gof gnome developers got so pissed that they wanted to cut off the head of miguel de icaza bes of gnome mnome then why not. same for ximian and their sick roadmap with .NET i mean a lot gof gnome dissed that they wanted to cut off the head of miguel de icaza because of the shit shouting out on reports and other crap.: 'we want this and we want that' sure if they pay fine for gnome then why not. same for ximian and their sick roadmap with .NET i mean a lot gof gnome developers got so pissed that they wanted to cut off the head of miguel de icaza bes of gnome mevelopers got so pissed that they wanted to cut off the head of miguel de icaza bes of gnome mailinglist will find out that a lot of SUN people behave like they were owners cause of the shit shouting out on reports and other crap. 'we want this and we want that' s of gnome mailinglist will find out that a lot of SUN people behave like they were owners sure if they pay fine for gnome then why not. same for ximian and their sick roadmap with .NET i mean a lot of gnome developers got so pissed that they wanted to cut off the head of miguel de icaza because of the shit shouting out on reports and other crap.
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Genrerating crap................
attentive readers of gnome mailinglist will find out that a lot of SUN people behave like they were owners of GNOME. e.g. you get strange looking emails from them with directives and orders. example:
attentive readers of gnome mailinglist will find out that a lot of SUN people behave like they were owners of GNOME. e.g. you get strange looking emails from them with directives and orders. example
attentive readers of g
attentive readers of gnome mailinglist will find out that a lot of SUN people behave like they were owners of
attentive readers of g GNOME. e.g. you get strange looking emails from them with directives and orders. example: 'we want this and we want that' sure if they pay fine for gnome then why not. same for ximian and their sick roadmap with
Sorry fool. Didn't work.
HAHAHAHA that is mad fr34k1ng funny hahahaha mod this up modz0rs
Will we ever see ANY news posted here regarding Microsoft and not have to wade through:
1) 328 BSOD Jokes
2) 23 Virus Jokes
3) 12 Borg assimilation joke
4) 98 hack vulnerability jokes
5) 52 comments basically saying "I'm not giving m$ a cent"
6) 37 Microsoft Tax jokes
7) 29 ctrl alt del jokes
8) 912 GFP jokes
9) 4 Beowulf clusters
10) 83 Clippy jokes
The two rules for success are:
1) Never tell them everything you know.
"Gnarly" lol
You're probably one of those people that wants cheap reliable service ... maybe with a small tax increment to subsidize universal access policies in remote areas etc. etc.
... get with the program - this is the knowledge-based information economy: all the best of technology is brought to us by pure power of the darwinian marketplace. So quit whining and either get back to working on your genetic therapy patent application (but I doubt you have one since you are so obviously a *moron*); or go back to your rustic log cabin in the woods and read Walden or something ...
Well, you dinosaur
:-P