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NuSphere vs. MySQL AB Hearing
An anonymous submitter sent in: "The hearing is over, and Adam Kessel posted a report about what happened in the court room. The judge is probably not going to issue a temp. injunction against NuSphere on the GPL violation, but probably WILL issue an injunction on trademark issues." Politech has another report on the hearing.
You are a minute too late there, try harder next time. (impersonating Nelson Muntz) "Ha ha!"
This post certainly implies the intelligence of a Windows XP advocate.
Just admit you're the WIPO troll already, S.T.
SLASHDOT
News for niggers. Stuff for niggers.
WATERMELON UNDER THE GPL
POPEYES SELLING CUSTOMER DATA
BREW YOUR OWN 40s OR STEAL THEM
PORCH SITTING PIONEER DEAD AT 54
BOOK REVIEW: READ? FUCK DAT!
ASK SLASHDOT: GOOD CRACK FOR CHEAP?
Rape victim must marry rapist (and rapist pays her father some money).
Deuteronomy 22:28
Soldiers are allowed to marry and engage in forced intercourse with female captives (maybe you shouldn't send the Bible w/ your son when he goes off to war).
Deuteronomy 21:10-14
Lot offers his daughters to be gang-raped by a mob.
Genesis 19
There was no punishment for Lot's abhorrent act. In fact, God sent two angels to save Lot from the upcoming destruction of his city right after the above incident.
Genesis 19:15
Sadistic ritual a wife is supposed to endure if her husband is 'jealous' or suspects adultery. The ritual is performed by a priest and is supposed to induce an abortion.
Numbers 5:11-29
If a husband questions the virginity of his wife, she is to be examined before the elders of the city.
Deueteronomy 22:13-
Murder your own family and friends if any one of them attempts to persuade you to abandon Christianity.
Deuteronomy13
God commands the murder of innocent infants.
I Samuel 15:3
Murder your own son...if he's rebellious.
Deuteronomy 21:18
God commands excecution of man for gathering wood during the Sabbath.
Numbers 15:32
God commands murder for working on the Sabbath.
Exodus 35:2
God commands death if you curse at your parents.
Exodus 21:17 and Leviticus 20:9
God commands death for cursing the lord.
Leviticus 24:16
God commands death for a stranger entering a temple.
Numbers 1:51, 3:10, 18:10
Burn to death any daughter of a priest who sells her body.
Leviticus 21:9
God commands murder for speaking to the dead.
Leviticus 20:27
Murder is the sentence for practicing any other religion.
Deuteronomy 13 and Numbers 25
God kills Lot's wife for being curious.
Genesis 19:24
At God's command, men, women, and children are mercilessly slaughtered.
Deuteronomy 2:34
Death Sentence for being rude to strangers.
Matthew 10:14-15 and Luke 10:7
God commands murder for those who lied about church donations.
Acts 5:1-11
God threatens to 'rip pregnant women open and dash little ones to pieces' for disobedience.
Hosea 13:16
Remember all those women who were accused of witchcraft and burned alive? You'll find God's command for it right here.
Exodus 22:18
A Virgin who has intercourse before marriage? Stone her to death!
Deuteronomy 20 and 22:13-21
First you get the Australians, New Zealanders and people from the American West Coast.
Then you get Australians, New Zealanders and Europeans.
That's followed by total European domination, until the American East Coast wakes up.
Mr. Rumsfeld! How many times do we have to tell you NOT to post from your office?!
Lying 101:
First off, make sure you're white... it makes it much easier to justify why you're such a cracker.
Second, it takes lots of practice to make a really solid lie, so if you want a good lie, you'll need to work on your excuses... which kind of defeats the purpose so f%4k it.
Third, be a complete dick about everything... never justify lying, it takes too much energy.
If you ever wake up and think to yourself that life is perfect, it's possibly not for somebody else, so watch your ass... which of course is impossible if you want to lie.
If you wake up with a perfect body, lots of money, a nice car, a family, a beautiful wife/husband, an easy job that makes lots of money, you might be in for a rude awakening. Why? Once again you're living a lie. Don't ask me how it happens... all I know is that it does.
Fifth, always have a good spellchecker... if you don't you can end up looking like an idiot. This can really hurt. Little things that make you look imperfect are good targets.
Never tell the truth to the opposite sex no matter how much since it makes to do or even if they already know it. Why? The f$#king truth hurts. Then you'll be straight out of a girlfriend/boyfriend... not to mention you'll have to settle with a girl who knows the truth. What a bitch. Literally. This means for all you guys you can't tell them you're dating them for their looks and for all you women you're dating them for their money.
Putting up a "front" is "mas importante"... that's Spanish for important. So I've been told anyway.
Get really good at lying to yourself. It's the best... Never tell yourself the truth because the sh%t hurts...
For you really good liars out there, everything, and I mean everything about the truth hurts to the point of being ridiculous. Why? Because just like you liars, "truth tellers" are just like you except they have been put in a position that they are forced to "put out", so everything is tweaked for them to get the most out of it. So if you really want to get the most out of lying to someone, you must, and I repeat must, be a complete dick. Now the BEST liars do this with out consciously knowing it... thus getting more "bang for the buck" out of their lies. This is because truly could give a f%$k about anyone else. It's the best! I have to say, try it for yourself and see what I mean... it's great!
Oh... and if you get caught... Being naturally stupid really helps the situation. Why? You forget faster than average and thus get back to your main objective that much faster. It also really helps not to have a conscience also in this situation. So if you can see about finding a doctor stupid enough to get that part of your brain removed as soon as possible. If not, it could take years of training or tons and tons of time around "truth tellers" to get it finally right. Oh... you must also sometimes pretend you're a truth teller also in this situation . It's good to have "studied" the enemy. And surprisingly, there are a lot of them. Also, if you are not stupid, but your opponent thinks you are, use that to your advantage, it works great! I hope I'm not boring you more intelligent people with this rudimentary knowledge. See how I just played to your ego? It works perfectly with those who, deep down, know they are God, and everybody else is simply crazy. Wow!
Go to Church or Temple or whatever it is you're supposed to do... you'll hit "pay-dirt" with tons of idiots practicing stuff like "self-sacrifice". If you find one of those guys, you're SFL baby!
Being around massive quantities of women always helps your chances as well. They naturally excel as liars. The evidence is in asking them... they'll say no! Don't worry if you did not catch on to the last part...
Being in numbers also helps... sometimes you'll be in the midst of a liar So good that he can say a lie that will cover you at the same time... now that's a bonus!!! Just pretend you're with them... you might not want to tell them that you've said this though or they might call you out of it... after all, they're lying also.
Make sure you have plenty of money... for where your lies fail, your money will smooth things over... it's really a necessity.
Also, competition in lying... there is tons once people figure out the need to lie. If you find yourself in the midst of a better liar, sometimes it can be tough to keep your spirits up... but do! You see, you can learn from their lies, and then get better at them yourself! Sometimes you can get the "hang" out of a particular lie without taking tons and tons of time to learn it (like that person might have), so you in essence, steal their lies! It's really great!
Getting back to that Church thing... If you go to Church you can learn about miracles and thus blame all your really bad lies on the fact that they were part of a bigger plan. It works perfectly. At least it works good for me. Remember, "Everything happens for a reason!" I can't tell you how good this one works! First off for those stupid enough to believe it, they fall for it almost every time as long as you don't use it back to back, and for those who know better, they're so pissed at how you judged their intellect, they'll be stunned! (but only for a few seconds, so be quick to come up with something to take their mind off it and distract them from the fact your playing them)
Make sure you have plenty of excuses. The best excuses look self-evident. For example, walk into work with a fake broke leg. You get the point.
Situational Lying: This is where it gets advanced. Any given situation can turn into a "lie detector test". Make sure you can either bully your way out if caught, or you can put your lie out quick enough as the truth. Being naturally paranoid helps this situation as well. Remember that people conspire behind your back so always have a good lie ready. Furthermore, the more conspiracies you're in on, the better. They show what situations work best, given the strategy. If you suspect yourself the victim of a conspiracy, this is when your true lying skills really come into play the most. If you can't find your way out quickly, it's best to become part of your own conspiracy. This will confuse the stupider of your enemies and will give you time to get out scot-free. Remember, the deeper your lie the higher the probability you'll get caught. So start off small. (Just like weight training)
If you get caught: Keep your enemy happy. Distraction is key... especially if they have drugs to tell you the truth or a lie detector. It's survival of the best liar. Women once again have the best advantage here. They use sex as... and get this: weapon, I dare say AND a means to get out. Almost unbeatable, really. This is the very driver of most men's existence and so it works almost %100 percent of the time! Joy. This is proven by the small amount of women that make it into prison and very few are killed. Smart men know to use a woman as a means of defense, hence the phrase: "Take my wife, please!" If a woman catches you in a lie, tell them you learned it from them and then proceed to get very juvenile or senile. Then tell them they should be proud to know such a liar. (Remember, if you're a woman you should work on your looks more than your lie as it will help you facilitate any of the fore mentioned situations... you might find yourself at the command of your victim!!!)
Being physically fit can also help your lying in that it will keep you from getting caught. Also, people tend to be less harsh on these types of liars since they have a weapon.
Extremely advanced lying: Once again, I can't tell you how much material I have given you is true. After all, I myself am a liar and when in full practice I'm very deadly if I do say so myself. It is true possibly that my lying behavior has become too much of a "component" of my personality in that it affects everything I do, including this paper. Furthermore, a lot my lies are still "in the works", so some of this advice might work out your particular situation.... All I can say is if it's true, that's too bad for you. Also, remember the expiration date on the milk carton... you have to change up your lies in order to keep your lying a tool for survival.
Some of the consequences of lying: First and foremost is Hell. A mere possibility, but watch your back! Second, mental behavior facilities... believe you me, you don't want to end up there. So, if you have already started lying, watch your back because the people who work in these places tend to be liars themselves and love to play with their victim's minds and anything else that comes to light. What's worse is you become a victim of some stupid experiment. In this case you should behave as if you're the victim of a conspiracy, (but don't tell anyone). Experiments tend to behave exactly the same as conspiracies. Remember... once you've started lying, there's really no going back. This is proven once you tell somebody that you've lied to them. They will not treat you as an equal anymore and you will have lost all respect for you. (and in most cases, they'll let you know it... if they are smart anyway.) You can lose your job, your family, your life, and your money. Your entire life will be watched and analyzed, thus becoming part of some crazy freak show that people can look at, poke fun at, and feel generally better about themselves due to your getting caught. Wow! Suddenly you've made other people friends and have them come together as a click all due to your stupidity! And believe you me, clicks can hurt if you're not "in".
Some benefits of lying: Monetary growth. There's a lot of money to be made of being the best liar. Just look at the movie industry! Millions of dollars on what people have made up and at best a bunch of half-truths to keep you happy. Remember "fake it to you make it!" Women! Women love a good liar. (Actually, women fall in love with a good liar only to be disappointed... I can't tell you how many times I've been personally a disappointment.) Being a good liar is a sign of true stability in your life. I can't tell you how may women I've got simply by being a good liar! A happy outlook on life. Once you're convinced you've made a lie big enough. To fool everybody you need to, you can relax and laugh at all the suckers you've made!
Remember, right or wrong, people love to abuse other people. They'll even accuse you of abusing so they can further abuse you! It can get confusing so use every spare moment to "keep score". This is justification for lying enough! People will hit you for cursing! Does that help their outlook from your perspective? No! I've seen people really get an ass-kick from this situation. Remember, win people over with your money, looks and other seemingly quality aspects. When in a bad situation, always have dirt on somebody. This goes out of the bounds of being just a liar, but it's a great defense, so it would be selfish not to share it with you. It's a great defense. Just talk about their problems and you've got instant defense! This defense works on those who are smart enough to know what you're talking about, however, remember: Size up your opponent! Otherwise, you'll end up looking stupid. This works best with a lot of people around... make a crack on them that's so funny that it causes everybody to laugh uncontrollably and you've got instant success! Once again, this goes out of the bounds of merely lying, but is an excellent defense that not only wins friends with your humor, but hurts your enemy... all at the same time! Man! Now that's a bonus! Once again, wrong or right, people love to abuse people, and I have found very little to deter this situation "naturally".
Setting up your lies: It is essential to know your victim. Not everybody works on the same level of logic. Once again, there is reality and then there is your victim's perception of reality. If your victim knows what reality is, depending on how well they have this drilled into their head is one of the dependencies of setting your lie up. The better they are prepared the worse your chances of pulling off your lie. If they don't know what reality is, or are slightly off on their personal perception, or even better, they will not accept reality for personal reasons or beliefs the better your chances.
The impact of your lies: A lie's impact tends to vary depending on the situation. Watch out! If you victimize a clever individual or you don't know what your lie will do, your lie could end up backfiring on yourself. Also, lies can cause a "chain reaction" effect. This is described somewhat in the "abuse" section above. Making lies that produce really insecure situations for your victim is one affective aspect. The more ridiculous the situation you produce, the better.
Psychological impact of lying: If you find that lying works for you, more than likely, you'll make it a part of your life. You'll find how best to incorporate it into your lifestyle and use it to make things happen for you. If you receive nothing but positive impact from lying, see how lying helps others, or become really good at it, you'll want to keep it in your life. Only massive quantities of "negative enforcers" will deter you from using it, and then, these might, in the end, be a bad thing, I don't really know, but I fear the worst. Faced with this dilemma, some people try to fight the idea of assimilating bad behavior such as lying into their lives, but come to the realization that to much of the good lifestyle hurts and subsequently fail and revert... asking themselves, "Why did they even try?" Most people move through out their day with little thought to the long run consequences of their lying or are somewhat oblivious to it. (America, what a country) This, in a way, truly defines what freedom is, and sets the standard for things such as lifestyle and behavior.
||| I still can't believe Parkay's not butter.
on ya klerck. keep up the good work man
some of us didn't go to college. which would explain why we're suck... hacks.
bah. start over