Do Programming Languages Affect Your Sexual Performance?

Posted by Cliff on Sunday March 31, 2002 @06:52PM from the object-oriented dept.

bLanark asks: "I've used a variety of programming languanges over the years, but recently started using Java commercially (as opposed to just playing at home). As soon as I was on that Java project, I became a rampant stallion, never left my wife alone, sexually. She even started sleeping in the spare room just to get some rest on some nights! Soon, I was back on C++ (due to a budget cut and re-org). I am no longer a stallion (I won't go into more details!). My theory is that java's so easy, so after conquering an API a day (JDOM, Swing,...) I just came home and carried on conquering. Now, I have to work for a living again, and it doesn't leave much energy. Do other slashdotters have similar experience? Is lisp tantric? Do assembler programmers favour wham-bam-that's-the-end-of-that-non-maskable-inter rupt-where's-the-remote-control-honey-can-you-get- me-a-beer? What's the best programming language for attracting sexual partners? What about Operating Systems? Does MS == S&M?" Does C/C++ dampen your love life? Does Perl please your partner? Can you jive with Java? Inquiring minds want to know.

2 of 565 comments (clear)

wha? by npietraniec · 2002-03-31 19:10 · Score: 1, Troll

Do Programming Languages Affect Your Sexual Performance?

I don't know why I bother reading slashdot on April fool's day... Most of this drivel isn't really that funny. I'm making a commitment to skip reading for the rest of the day. Who's with me?
Re:Really lame by Tackhead · 2002-04-01 03:05 · Score: 1, Troll

> [as part of a truly spectacular troll (/me applauds), Anthy wrote that] ... there is a time and place for everything and all this shows is a total lack of taste and crassness
And Slashdot, especially on April 1st, and even more so on a thread about programming languages and sex, is that place!
Hell, Slashdot, on any day, on any thread, is that place, and that's what we love about it.
Anyone for a menage-a-trois with Anthy and Natalie Portman, naked and petrified, in a whole vat of hot grits? I'd volunteer, but there's this ASCII-art bird clamped onto my wang.
(No, I don't mean the dedicated word-processing computer of the early '80s. Wish I did. My g/f gives me no end of hassle about that damn bird... loves the feathers, but the beak's in the wrong place.)