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Science a Mystery to U.S. Citizens
maddugan writes "CNN and probably others are posting their synopses of the National Science Foundation's biennial report on the state of science understanding in the US. Sixty percent of those surveyed believe in ESP, psychic power, and alien abduction."
When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!
But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit!
But I want you to know something, this is sincere, I want you to know, when it comes to believing in God, I really tried. I really, really tried. I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up.
Something is wrong here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, and the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong. This is not good work. If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. Results like these do not belong on the résumé of a Supreme Being. This is the kind of shit you'd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. And just between you and me, in any decently-run universe, this guy would've been out on his all-powerful ass a long time ago. And by the way, I say "this guy", because I firmly believe, looking at these results, that if there is a God, it has to be a man.
No woman could or would ever fuck things up like this. So, if there is a God, I think most reasonable people might agree that he's at least incompetent, and maybe, just maybe, doesn't give a shit. Doesn't give a shit, which I admire in a person, and which would explain a lot of these bad results.
So rather than be just another mindless religious robot, mindlessly and aimlessly and blindly believing that all of this is in the hands of some spooky incompetent father figure who doesn't give a shit, I decided to look around for something else to worship. Something I could really count on.
And immediately, I thought of the sun. Happened like that. Overnight I became a sun-worshipper. Well, not overnight, you can't see the sun at night. But first thing the next morning, I became a sun-worshipper. Several reasons. First of all, I can see the sun, okay? Unlike some other gods I could mention, I can actually see the sun. I'm big on that. If I can see something, I don't know, it kind of helps the credibility along, you know? So everyday I can see the sun, as it gives me everything I need; heat, light, food, flowers in the park, reflections on the lake, an occasional skin cancer, but hey. At least there are no crucifixions, and we're not setting people on fire simply because they don't agree with us.
Sun worship is fairly simple. There's no mystery, no miracles, no pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we don't have a special building where we all gather once a week to compare clothing. And the best thing about the sun, it never tells me I'm unworthy. Doesn't tell me I'm a bad person who needs to be saved. Hasn't said an unkind word. Treats me fine. So, I worship the sun. But, I don't pray to the sun. Know why? I wouldn't presume on our friendship. It's not polite.
I've often thought people treat God rather rudely, don't you? Asking trillions and trillions of prayers every day. Asking and pleading and begging for favors. Do this, gimme that, I need a new car, I want a better job. And most of this praying takes place on Sunday His day off. It's not nice. And it's no way to treat a friend.
But people do pray, and they pray for a lot of different things, you know, your sister needs an operation on her crotch, your brother was arrested for defecating in a mall. But most of all, you'd really like to fuck that hot little redhead down at the convenience store. You know, the one with the eyepatch and the clubfoot? Can you pray for that? I think you'd have to. And I say, fine. Pray for anything you want. Pray for anything, but what about the Divine Plan?
Remember that? The Divine Plan. Long time ago, God made a Divine Plan. Gave it a lot of thought, decided it was a good plan, put it into practice. And for billions and billions of years, the Divine Plan has been doing just fine. Now, you come along, and pray for something. Well suppose the thing you want isn't in God's Divine Plan? What do you want Him to do? Change His plan? Just for you? Doesn't it seem a little arrogant? It's a Divine Plan. What's the use of being God if every run-down shmuck with a two-dollar prayerbook can come along and fuck up Your Plan?
And here's something else, another problem you might have: Suppose your prayers aren't answered. What do you say? "Well, it's God's will." "Thy Will Be Done." Fine, but if it's God's will, and He's going to do what He wants to anyway, why the fuck bother praying in the first place? Seems like a big waste of time to me! Couldn't you just skip the praying part and go right to His Will? It's all very confusing.
So to get around a lot of this, I decided to worship the sun. But, as I said, I don't pray to the sun. You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. Two reasons: First of all, I think he's a good actor, okay? To me, that counts. Second, he looks like a guy who can get things done. Joe Pesci doesn't fuck around. In fact, Joe Pesci came through on a couple of things that God was having trouble with.
For years I asked God to do something about my noisy neighbor with the barking dog, Joe Pesci straightened that cocksucker out with one visit. It's amazing what you can accomplish with a simple baseball bat.
So I've been praying to Joe for about a year now. And I noticed something. I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same 50% rate. Half the time I get what I want, half the time I don't. Same as God, 50-50. Same as the four-leaf clover and the horseshoe, the wishing well and the rabbit's foot, same as the Mojo Man, same as the Voodoo Lady who tells you your fortune by squeezing the goat's testicles, it's all the same: 50-50. So just pick your superstition, sit back, make a wish, and enjoy yourself.
And for those of you who look to The Bible for moral lessons and literary qualities, I might suggest a couple of other stories for you. You might want to look at the Three Little Pigs, that's a good one. Has a nice happy ending, I'm sure you'll like that. Then there's Little Red Riding Hood, although it does have that X-rated part where the Big Bad Wolf actually eats the grandmother. Which I didn't care for, by the way. And finally, I've always drawn a great deal of moral comfort from Humpty Dumpty. The part I like the best? "All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back together again." That's because there is no Humpty Dumpty, and there is no God. None, not one, no God, never was. In fact, I'm gonna put it this way. If there is a God, may he strike this audience dead! See? Nothing happened. Nothing happened? Everybody's okay? All right, tell you what, I'll raise the stakes a little bit. If there is a God, may he strike me dead. See? Nothing happened, oh, wait, I've got a little cramp in my leg. And my balls hurt. Plus, I'm blind. I'm blind, oh, now I'm okay again, must have been Joe Pesci, huh? God Bless Joe Pesci. Thank you all very much. Joe Bless You!
(Copyright 1999 by George Carlin. Printed without permission.)
Only the State obtains its revenue by coercion. - Murray Rothbard
Maybe that explains why 5.5 billion people think the entire american nation are stupid
Organized religion must be thrown out. It's clear that throughout history, religion has been at the root of so much death and destruction, from the Crusades in the Middle Ages to the terrorist attacks of September 11.
It coulds minds with ridiculous myths, untruths, fosters intolerance, and narrow-mindedness that have no place in today's 21st century technological, multifaceted society.
Ban organized religion, not only US, but worldwide -- it's what's holding back progress in places like Africa, the Middle East, India, and so much more.
Just like forced slavery and child labor, religion is an antiquated relic of the past that must be eradicated in the world, a scourge that hobbles the progress of the human race, like a ball and shackle.
There's 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
I'm certain that a majority of Americans also believe in life after death... that the world will end a la the new testament book of revelation... that there are angels...that satan and hell are real...that if they hold certain beliefs they will be spared eternal torture after they die...that the bible contains the unerring words of the one and only omnicient god of the universe...
Why doesn't anyone write an article about how ridiculous that is?
You like your Macintosh better than me, don't you Dave? Dave? Can you hear me Dave?
ESP, psychic power, and alien abduction
These things don't look any more superstitious to me than time travel, wormholes, black holes, parallel universes, quantum computing and the like. If scientists can openly believe in a bunch of crap without fear of being labeled crackpots, why can't the general public?
If a scientist has a theory for a natural phenomenon and yet cannot explain it in simple language that the average lay-person can understand, there is a 90% probability that it's crap. Furthermore, if the scientist claims that one needs math to understand the theory, then there is a 100% probability that he or she is as clueless about the phenomenon as everyone else.
Wow. More america bashing. You guys are great. So very original. I wish you would post what country you are from so I can unload some world history on your ass. America isn't the only nasty country in the world... as a matter of fact most of the countries in the world have done or currently do Very Bad Things(tm). I'll admit that America is one of um. I'm trying my damnedest to get out of this country.
/. babble gets +4.
:P
/. in the past week have had a couple US-bashing +5's. I hate this country more than anyone else in the world could ever possibly imagine, but at least be intelligent about your bashing.
BUT DID YOU EVER THINK THAT PERHAPS THE AVERAGE CNN.COM READER ISN'T A GOOD CROSS-SECTION OF AMERICANS???
Ye gods. You get +4 for a run of the mill, multible choice, american bashing post. Why not use your brain instead? I'm sick of seeing non-intelligent crap like this get modded up. I write an amazing post on U232 shells and it doesn't get touched, but your typical
Either:
a) Blah Blah Blah Blah
b) America sux0rz!!!!!!!
c) All of the above
I'd almost feel sad for you if it weren't for my desire to see you die in a ditch somewhere. I do hope your a resident of Iraq when we blow that whole fucking country to hell next year. I wouldn't mind listening to the trolls rant about how we "slaughtered" millions (of terrorist-supporters) as long as you wake up with a serious case of radiation poisoning.
Don't get me wrong, I'm a very peacefull guy. I'm very tired and a good bit fed up. 1/2 of the articles I've read on
Enough is enough.
-EvilMonkeyNinja
Mild Mannered Host by Day
Wild Hammered Programmer by Night
They shuv OOP down our throats without first getting objective evidence, or even side-by-side comparisons, that it is globally superior.
They have gotten carried away before with Expert Systems and heavy-top-down (hierarchical structured decomposition). Thus, they have been wrong before.
Just admit that it is a black art and stop pretending like it is "science". Bertrand Meyer is an Alchemist. (And he mis-uses his own "single choice principle.")
(This concludes another anti-OO rant.)
Table-ized A.I.
Oh, please. +5, Insightful? Have we got a bunch of jealous anti-Americans as moderators today?
I can tell you where the America-is-the-world attitude comes from, though, if you care to understand it. First off, for the people who don't already: have you ever BEEN there?
The United States is HUMUNGOUS! I've lived outside of it for a while, and one thing that strikes me is how small it seems almost every other country is. You can drive across the UK in a matter of hours. The same amount of time would get you across just half of Colorado.
How often does the average U.S. citizen actually have to communicate from somebody outside of the U.S.? Not bloody often. If you ask a French person who their neighbors are when talking about politics, chances are they'll name the British and the Spanish. Somebody from Nevada will name Californians and Utahns.
How much is the average U.S. citizen directly affected by the policies of the U.S.'s neighboring countries? Compare that to the direct effect of a neighboring state's policies, and the answer is: not much at all.
So before you shoot off your crapper about how isolationist the U.S. population is as a whole, consider the environment. The people live in a very large superpower country. Contact with foreigners is minimal. It's going to be that way. Deal.
I got my Linux laptop at System76.
Let me add that I have seen surveys and studies like this as far back as I can remember. Americans can't find the US on a map, American's can't read, Americans can't add, American public schools are cespools of ignorance and incompetence. America is fucked and it is going down the drain.
That's why Americans have a substantially lower standard of living than they did in 1965. Why the US has never taken the lead in fields like Space exploration, computers, software, telecommunications, cultural exports, robotics, high tech manufacturing, military technology, aerospace, etc. Why the US economy has become the less dominant, and why the US dollar is no longer the de facto world currency. That's why countries with excellent and exacting education systems have done so well. Like Japan and Switzerland.
What these surveys measure are not "facts", they measure cultural norms. US culture has a streak of anti-intellectualism. American culture is more can-do than think-it-through. This is true even in movies about intellectuals, like "Good Will Hunting" and "A Beautiful Mind". This is neither good nor bad, it just is.
On an individual basis, Americans prize education and knowledge. They are generally happy to talk about intricate ideas. Put them in a group and all they will talk about is football. That is what these surveys show again and again.
Indeed so. Thank goodness that's never going to happen. Oh, hang on...