Slashdot Mirror
The Creamy Center of the Atom
There's a funny article on SatireWire with a light hearted view of the joys at the center of the atom. Better then a Crackerjack box.
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← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)
First post!
Is this anything like the center of a Totise Pop?
CRUNCH!
bigger and better than an atom.
First post by a reader on the sub-atomic level.
The atoms in my fingers type by themselves.
Mice and eclectrictrodes baby!
It is 10pm. Do you know where your karma is?
Right! Let us get started... In order to get maximum karma from Slashdot posting, you can follow a few simple guidelines.
- The University you go to. Regardless of where you actually study, saying that you're at MIT automagically gains you +2.
Slashdot, like the glorified student notice board that it is, has a special place in its heart for anything from MIT -
whether it be a teddy bear stuffed with a switch, or some wankers wrapping a yellow banner with elvish text around the main
dome. Even if you didn't go to university, qualify every comment with a "My professor told me" to bask in the warm fuzzy glow
of +2, Insightful.
- Linux. The basis of the "Slashdot Experience". Claiming you run Linux also gets you +1, Interesting. It doesn't really
matter if you've never actually installed it, or your Red Hat box still doesn't have PPP running after 2 years of reading
FAQs. The important bit is - You're part of the community. You can bathe in the refelected glory of years of shoddy, buggy
code. You are exempt from the Microsoft penalty (see below) as, of course, your Win 98 install is only used for playing
games. And reading Slashdot. And using MS Word. And Photoshop. And....
- Microsoft. Slashbots and the editors hate Microsoft. Period. Use of a $ symbol in every iteration of their trademarks
gets you a +4, Funny. Even though it is far from original, it still manages to raise a grin in those people reading Slashdot
between episodes of Cowboy Bebop. You will get a -1, Flamebait or Troll for any post even hinting that Microsoft products are
any good / useful / intuitive / user friendly. You will also quickly be shot down with replies about how good GNOME and KDE
are, which will then in turn erupt into a flame war.
- Freedom / Privacy / YRO. The bread and butter of Slashdot. It fits in sublimely with the whole "Linux" thing. You'll get
a +3, Informative for any post containing the Ben Franklin quote about sacrificing essential liberty. It makes no difference
that the quote is totally irrelevant in the modern world - Hey, you've got karma! Mis-credting the quote will not end up in a
karma penalty, as has been demonstrated countless times. You will gain extra karma if you make reference to your experiences
of being wire-tapped by the NSA, and throwing in a vague link to Echelon, black helicopters or Tin Foil Hat Linux. Include a
link to the First Amendment for a +1, Interesting mod. Give yourself a pat on the back if you manage to include some extra
raging paranoia with no evidence to back it up. Nice!
- BSD. If you use it, don't mention it on Slashdot. Most of the Linux-using friendless wonders that inhabit Slashdot
wouldn't know quality and stability if it strolled up and kicked them in the throat with a size 13 HiTec Magnum boot. Any
mention of how a Firewall running OpenBSD with pf is far superior to Linux's pathetic offering will soon see you as -1,
Troll. Much like the post you're reading now.
- Yearning for yester-year. Although most comments are written by first year "wannabe-CS-guru" students or links to
goatse.cx, there is still the fallout dregs of the dot com boom lurking around slashdot. You can get +5, Insightful for
telling how you were so badly treated after the bubble burst. Whining about the lack of jobs where you get paid to fire foam
darts at colleagues is a good start. Don't forget to mention how you've now been out of work for months - It starts a "I'm
about to graduate and there's nothing going" fuckfest which can spill over into hundreds of comments. Although all the staff
who were any good simply got hired into another company, it makes "Good Karma Sense"® to hide the fact that your passing familiarity with Perl and C simply can't get you a job. This is also a prime opportunity to show your egregious personality, as Slashdot rewards arrogance and elitism.
DON'T FORGET TO MOD ME DOWN! GO ON! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!can i be third post? Ive never been any significant post....sigh...
After I have gone limp, I let my dick fall out, and rest my head in front of her pussy, tongue out. She pushes herself up with her hands, and after a few seconds the mixture of cum and cunny juice begins pouring out onto my tongue. If I'm really excited, I'll lock my mouth against her cunthole at this stage and suck.
She says it's weird, but doesn't mind.
hrm
la;hfas;ohfsa;hf;sdflskahfs .. asfh;sahf;salhf;ashf;sa sa as safsalfhasljfhasjfh a arfwr w // shffyruhfyrushfoiusfyhuksalhgsjkhgljaskhgs // sfhyashfosahfuoisawaerweraw // safhsoiuahfsoiuahdofusfa // sdafhpsaofhsaopfhsaufnsapunvs // safhshfsaoiufhsaufhlsdufhsalfhs // oudshfalsiuhflsuafhulsahflksuadfh // dsafhsapohfaspuhfpuashfpsaf // shdpfoashfopashfposuhfupahsfpuiahsf // fsahpfouhsafpuashpufhsapfhspahfpsauyfrwepuyrpuahfp s // fsahpfoashpvuhsapvhpsavsvs
Slashdot's coverage of remote-controlled rats was woefully inadequate. SatireWire has the full story. It appears that the Pentagon is having a difficult time deciding which is the politically correct animal to control. Many slashdotters have experience working with ratlike animals, perhaps they can lend their expertise. Which species would you chose for remote-controlled search and rescue missions?
holy shit! I didn't notice that.
Oh, please. That wasn't even dirty. What a lame limerick....
There once was a man from Japan
Whose poems would rhyme but not scan
When told this was so,
he said "Yes, sir, I know,"
"It's probably because I attempt to fit as many words into the last line of each one of my poems as I possibly can"
This poster's name secretly replaced with Folgers Crystal Meth
I think the idea is to prevent people, like me, from misleading you to not-so-relevant content, eh?
The... Horror.
I think they meant "than", but the people who run slashdot can't spel. :-)
Poll request: "The Slashdot Editors' most idiotic English error".
October_30th, wherever you may be, I would like to shoot both your kneecaps and watch you wobble around like the pathetic knave that you are. I would like to bring into parity your mental disability with you physical, your crippled mind should be manifested in a crippled body.
why exactly do you have a +1 bonus? that was the most retarded poem i've ever read. Go back to downloading pr0n.
This is also off topic:
I am really sick of our imperfections, especially when writing sentences using correct grammar. Why write 'why write "then" when you mean "than"?' when you could write 'Why write "then" when you mean "than?"' Do you really insist on correcting others' mistakes when you, yourself, can't even bother to use correct grammar and sentence structure yourself?
Oh, the agony!
If you're religishitty, KILL YOURSELF!
Reasons one shouldn't end a sentence with a preposition:
1) The word "preposition" means to place before [a word]. With nothing following it, a preposition isn't being used properly.
2) Prepositions begin prepositional phrases. Without an object, the prepositional phrase is not a phrase, and is unclear.
As far as English being like Latin is concerned, some 60% of spoken English (significantly lower in written English) is Latin (the remainder being primarly Germanic, if I remember correctly), so there's good reason for the efforts of those misguided scholars.
It does NOT make perfect sense for someone to say, for example, "We don't live here, we're from." The lack of an object following the preposition 'from' makes it nonsensically unclear.
You claim that though your words were written fast
They still have merit; I must disagree
A limerick is specific; if you passed
On proper forms, a limerick it won't be.
As for your plea that limericks shouldn't sum:
Again, I say the error lies with you.
A headline needn't be in headline form
Encapsulation's all it needs to do.
I'll say quite freely that your noble task
To give us poetry in troubled times
Is tricky and most selfless (if you ask
I too am guilty of egregious rhymes)
If cavilling upsets you, do not rage;
My reasons are lined out upon my page
some 60% of spoken English (significantly lower in written English) is Latin
Where in the world did you get that fact? English arose when Old English (a Germanic language with no roots in Latin) was mixed with French. The only Latin in English would come indirectly from French. And why would more spoken English than written be like that?
If you're going to make up statistics, at least make them slightly believable.
Did I ever say that people should use prepositions with no object at all like "We don't live here, we're from"?
If you say "We don't live here, New York is where we're from", it makes sense, because it uses one of the methods in English that you can use to change the word order of a sentence.
Look at the original sentence that started this.
"I know this is not exactly on topic but this is something I am really sick of."
The second "this" is the prepositional object, and the final "of" is the preposition. Of course he could have said "...but I am really sick of this", but he rearranged the sentence in an entirely acceptable way to put more emphasis on "this".
Even the clunky "grammatical" version, "this is something of which I am really sick", separates the preposition from its object, and that has the disadvantage of separating the idiom "sick of". And even your dictionary allows for these situations:
so called because usually placed before the word with which it is phrased
Win dain a lotica, en vai tu ri silota
Lameness Filter Encountered
pointing out a typo gets a Score of 4?
I guess wiping my ass will get about a billion then, right?
Of course, it would be great if you and other submitters did it. Then maybe Taco and the likes will catch on :).