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Computers and Cars: A Maddening Experience?
Johnny writes "The nytimes has a review of the new BMW 745i iDrive system. The iDrive system combines some 270 functions, some accessable by voice, into one tactile feedback joystick mouse thingy. While maybe easier for computer junkies, the reviewer finds the interface 'maddening, especially at first' and wonders out loud what a car from Microsoft might be like, citing that the 745i offers a clue. Without a key, a floor shifter or really any buttons, this might be the future for cars, are the masses ready to wrestle with computers just to go to Wawa for milk?"
I think you get my drift. Driving a Microsoft car would be annoying and at the same time, dangerous.
At a recent computer expo (Comdex), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that get 100 miles to the gallon." Recently,General Motors addresses this comment by releasing this statement, "yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?" Below is a synopsis of the Microsoft Car: Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on. Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail, and you would have to re-install the engine. for some strange reason, you would accept this too. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT". But then you would have to buy more seats. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times faster, twice as easy to drive, but would only run on 5% of the roads. The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades for their cars, which would make their cars run much slower. The oil, gas and alternator lights would be replaced with single "general car fault" lights. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off. If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.
pronoblem
I hope that they have a cli version of the interface. I'd be quite disappointed if I had to use the mouse and/or joystick. After all, if you saw a child dart across the road chasing his ball, wouldn't you want to just type in, "killall -9 movement"?
;^P
testing out my trending skills
Lessee...need to move my seat back...ummm.
U-U-D-L-L-RF-D-L-U
dang..scissor-kicked the driver.
Oh well...might as well finish him.
D-D-L-U-LF-UF-D-U--D-L-L
Thwack!
Pessimists... you need to consider the advantages of a Microsoft car:
your car would seek out and destroy the competition.
the hood would be welded shut. No worrying about it ending up at the chop shop for parts.
its sheer size will trump any SUV on the road today.
"press OK to open the air-bag"
QED
BSD is for people who love UNIX. Linux is for those who hate Microsoft.
...when they pry it from my cold, dead fingers. Wait...come to think of it, that's probably just how it would happen. But I guess I wouldn't need it then.
I hate cars that try to be smarter than the driver. Give me my old Morgan any time. I do miss it so. <sigh>
-- We all have enough strength to endure the misfortunes of other people. La Rochefoucauld
Why can't the greedy insurers and banks encourage innovation for once, instead of killing it off through price gouging and FUD?
Just a thought...
- "Hal, open the door"
- "I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't let you do that".
MS-DOS: You get in the car and try to remember where you put your keys. Failing to find them, you climb on your bike and pedal over. You have to make several trips since you can only carry one thing at a time.
...
... the hell with it, I'm gonna stay home and play with the car ...
OS/2: It's a great car, it drives well, but it will only work on 70% or the roads in your area. After fueling up with 6,000 gallons of gas, you get in the car and drive to the store with a motorcycle escort and a marching band on parade. Halfway there, the car blows up, killing you and half the town.
WINDOWS: You get in the car and drive to the store very slowly; because attached to the back of the car is a freight train. Other than that, it's pretty neat; it's all run by pushbuttons, but it only goes about 35mph, you gotta warm it up for twenty minutes before it'll run, and it manages to hit 3 phone poles, a mail box, a stop sign, and two other cars on the way.
WINDOWS NT: It LOOKS really fast, like a Formula 1 car, and it's built so low to the ground that you can't take it out of the driveway. You get in the car and write a letter that says "Go to the store". Then you get out, and mail the letter to your dashboard.
WINDOWS 95: You call the garage to find out it isn't fixed yet, but you can keep the Windows loaner until it is.
MACINTOSH SYSTEM 7: You get in the car to go to the store. The car drives you to church, because the store has mysteriously exploded.
UNIX - You get in the car and type "GREP STORE". You screech off at 200 miles per hour, and arrive at the barber shop.
UNIX-WARE - Great deal, and looks really cool. Doesn't have an engine, though... Call Novell, buy an engine. No tires. Call Novell. No transmission. Call Novell. No clutch. Call Novell. No carbs. Call Novell. They don't support carbs anymore. Buy a fuel injector. No steering wheel
NETWARE - You have to hire a CNE to chauffeur you around, but he keeps wrecking the car.
AMIGA - You get in the car and tell it to go to the store. It takes you to a shopping mall on the moon.
TALIGENT/PINK: You walk to the store with Ricardo Montelban, who tells you how wonderful it will be when he can fly you to the store in his Learjet.
AIX - Cool. A cross between a BMW and a Hyundai pickup truck.
LINUX - The developers have been here overnight and changed everything again. You wonder what the new cattle-catcher front end and rear gun turret are for. Car won't start. Hot-wire the ignition. No oil pressure. Add oil. Bad backfire, injection system needs adjusting. Check manual - nope, manual's three months out of date. Tune injectors by ear. Stereo is missing the left channel, tire pressure seems low, needs a good wax job
where is the "I feel for ya, but that's some funny ass shit" moderation?
Be sure and click on the "related article" too, Menus Behaving Badly:
My beagle, whose job description is "scan roadsides for squirrels," is in the back, moving from one side window to the other. Each time he shifts, sensors in the seat take note, and the right rear headrest whirrs up as the left one whirrs down. For the next two hours, the headrests dance in tandem, as if trying to provide comfort for restless spirits.
wait until somebody rear ends you one day because they were busy reading their 20 volume instruction manual trying to figure out how to put the window down.
> They mention that in 1953, the BWM 502 had 26
> control and indicator functions. In the late
> 90's, the 7-series had over 70 functions, with
> as many indicators, and over 35 control elements
> (buttons, etc.)
> Something *had* to be done to reduce the complexity of the cockpit.
Clearly the next step is to have each car come with a a midget or a hyper-intelligent monkey that carries out your direct voice commands.
"Antonio, please find me a soft jazz station and adjust my headrest. Then massage my buttocks."
Insert simplistic political, ideological, or personal proselytization here.
I haven't driven one, but one pulled up behind me on the expressway this afternoon. Black. Like a spaceship. I thought Hotblack Desiato was trying to overtake and pass...
Who did what now?
The new 7 series have massage units built into the seats. A reviewer in NZ described it as "like being molested by a car".
A 7-series BMW is really not a very valuable car. While I would agree with you if we were talking about some type of classic Bentley, or something special like a Ferrari 456GTA. I might even have a problem with someone putting their dog into a 750iL. (Actually, no, on second thought I wouldn't.) A BMW 745 is strictly fungible goods -- no need to baby it at all. In fact, babying your BMW 7-series is pathetically bourgeois behavior. You'll end up looking like those poor saps with the "garage queen" Lexus IS300's. Please, muster some self-respect.