Mobile Phone in Your Teeth!

thumbtack writes "News.com is running a story that reports that British researchers claim to have developed an implant that could be placed in a tooth and used as a mobile phone. According to the article, the sound would be transferred to the inner ear by bone resonance, and could be listened too anytime anywhere, with complete privacy." This is awesome. Course it would kinda suck if your phone rang when you were asleep.

Comments

Upgrades?

[The Turd Report]

Upgrading to the newest version would be a pain in the ass^Wmouth.

Hearing aid technology?

[crow]

Traditional hearing aids are simply microphones and speakers to make the noise louder. They work fine for some people, but this type of technology bypasses the eardrum altogether, hinting at the possibility of sending sound to some who otherwise wouldn't be able to hear at all.

I don't know much about this or related technologies. Is there any substance to my gussing above?

Re:Hearing aid technology?

[Wordplay]

Much depends on why it is you've become hearing impaired. There are three sections of the ear, external, middle, and inner. This kind of thing would only help those with external ear problems, as it still relies on the middle ear and inner ear to pick up the sounds. As it happens, many external and middle ear problems are correctable already via surgery or other medical treatment. Folks with inner ear problems -- that is, those with neural damage -- wouldn't be helped at all, and would rely on technology such as cochlear implants.

On the other hand, I know my father (who is significantly hearing impaired) absolutely hates many aspects of his hearing aids. He has to deal with fit, visibility, feedback from the compact size that places the mic near the speaker, etc. Sounds like this sort of thing could make one heck of a stealth-device for people like him.

Re:Hearing aid technology?

[Pedersen]

The sound resonates through your skull; but those vibrations are picked-up by your eardrum, which is a tightly pulled film attached to the nerves that translate its vibrations to sound.

Normally, I don't get so upset at this sort of thing, but for some reason, idiocy like this has pissed me off today. No, the eardrum does NOT translate vibrations to sound, or any other such nonsense.What the eardrum (or timpanum) does is to act as the first step in hearing something.

Sound waves travel through the air, striking the eardrum. The eardrum vibrates, causing the bones of the middle ear to vibrate as well. Now, I can't remember the order of vibration, but I can tell you that one of those three bones is attached directly to the eardrum, and it, in turn, causes the other two to vibrate. Finally (and I'll admit that my knowledge becomes more hazy here), the third bone is attached directly to the cochlea (or inner ear), which translates those vibrations from the third bone directly into nerve impulses, which are sent to the brain.

The eardrum itself is nothing more than the starting point for the whole sequence. If you can directly vibrate the bones correctly, you can create a sound which nobody else can hear.

Microwave exposure?

[splorf]

I thought holding the antenna too close to your head with a normal cell phone increased your exposure. Having the phone in your tooth sounds like really asking for it. Maybe the tooth phone could do double duty though. If your food has gotten cold, the phone microwaves could re-heat it while you're chewing.

E-911 anybody?

[sterno]

Excellent, combine phone implants with the ability to rapidly triangulate any cell phone, and you've got embedded tracking of the citizenry. Weeeee, sign me up! I'm not with Al Qaeda so I shouldn't have any reason to hide, right?

And imagine the advertisements...

[TellarHK]

New Nokia T1, smallest cellular phone ever! Just stick this fan-cooled battery in your cheek so it won't burn your skin, change it every day, and talk gingivitis away!

And just imagine the new acronyms they'd be coming out with. Portable Lightweight Audible Query Using Electronics, voice activated to!

Get PLAQUE implanted and never miss a phonecall again!

How about a boob phone?

[aussersterne]

After all, in the next round of TV commercials, would you rather stare Jamie Lee Curtis in the tooth, or...

Bluetooth?

[raduga]

It seems it should be easier to keep the handset in your pocket (easier for dialing, antenna, etc) but put a wireless intradental headset for speaker/mic.

Presumably, a filling in the space vacated by cavities. Should be the best use of bluetooth we'll see...

Very limited uses..

[ldopa1]

I see a large number of problems here:

1) I have two phones - one personal, the other for work. Would I have to get two implants? Then, how would I answer one, but not the other? OTOH - If I did this, a conference call would be a cinch.

2) What happens when I need to change from Sprint to AT&T? Do I have to go back to the dentist? Can I sell my old Sprint implant?

3) So how would I surf the wireless web? (Very big lately)

4) What about programming my phone book?

5) Wouldn't getting screwed by your telco now REALLY leave a bad taste in your mouth?

6) If I set the phone to ring "silently", it might just kick loose a filling or to.

7) I don't think anyone I want to talk to would appreciate me snacking down on a hoagie while I'm talking to them, which is almost the only time I get lunch.

8) I'd have to change toothpaste. I'm sure my Colgate Total isn't supposed to be used on electronics.

9) I don't think anyone would buy it, because then they wouldn't be able to say "I wasn't by the phone." Also, can you imagine some of the phone calls? Phone calls in the bathroom, in the shower, while -um- massaging yourself?

and finally...

10) I wouldn't be able to tell between the lunatics talking to God and a Fortune 500 CEO in a conference call. Particularly with the number of well dressed wackos in the world.

This is by far the worst idea I've heard yet.

Wake up kent!

[MobyDisk]

This is Jesus Kent, and I've been a very naughty boy... And one last thing: STop playing with yourself.

I'll be very disappointed if noone gets the reference to the greatest geek movie ever made (okay, maybe next to War Games)

You have been slightly mislead...

[the pogoman]

The news.com story leads you to believe that these researchers have developed a tooth phone. This is in fact not the case. Instead, they have developed the technology to allow signals (not specifically cell phone) to be transimitted to your inner ear through bone resonance. This is much cooler because aside from the obvious security issues, it is much more versatile and could easily be "turned off." I still wonder about how they plan to power it though...

"Essentially the futuristic tooth would use wireless technology, such as 802.11 or bluetooth, to take signals from audio devices such as mobile phones, radios, stereos or computers, Auger [one of the two main researchers] explained to ElectricNews.Net. These signals would be changed into vibrations that would travel from the tooth, to the skull, eventually creating audible sound in the user's inner ear. No one but the user would be able to hear the sounds."
A more accurate story from ElectricNews

Also of interest is this site. It is James Auger's personal site about his research. It was up before, but I was having some problems with it moments ago.

"Real Genius"

[faqBastard]

Is anyone else reminded of the scene from "Real Genius" ?

Kent.
This is God.
You've been a very naughty boy.
...
I want you to think about what you've done. And until then, STOP PLAYING WITH YOURSELF.

:-)

Great idea, but use as a general-pupose tranceiver

[maddogsparky]

You could have it be a "dumb" device. It could communicate with the actual device a la Blue tooth and just act as a speaker and microphone.

Benefits to using it as a dumb device would include allowing audio communication with any device that communicates in that protocol (laptops, PDAs, cell phones, pagers, portable audio devices, or even cordless adapters to work with an existing device that has an existing stereo headphone or line-in/out jack.

While the article is low on details, I would guess that it would be possible to implant multiple devices that are tuned to the user's individul characteristics to provide high fidelity, stereo sound.

I hesitate at using any previously mentioned technology implanted in your body other than for medical reasons, but this sounds really cool. Depending on price (and the results of safety studies), I would sign up for this one.

Re:Great idea, but use as a general-pupose trancei

[The Turd Report]

Good idea, but there had better be some good encryption and security in place. Or some evil haxor might start beaming 'Take Me Down to Funkytown' in a loop to your head.