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Ransom Love to Focus on UnitedLinux
morhoj writes "Looks like Ransom Love, who recently was host to a /. interview, has been replaced as CEO of Caldera and is now exclusively leading the UnitedLinux initiative. Some other stock buybacks and board swaps also happened at Caldera. Can't say that I'm all too pleased by this, I for one didn't like some of his answers in the interview, specifically that fees would be required to become "UnitedLinux" certified. That should really help wider Linux adoption."
Gentlemen, the time has come for a serious discussion on whether or not to continue using C for serious programming projects. As I will explain, I feel that C needs to be retired, much the same way that Fortran, Cobol and Perl have been. Furthermore, allow me to be so bold as to suggest a superior replacement to this outdated language.
To give you a little background on this subject, I was recently asked to develop a client/server project on a Unix platform for a Fortune 500 company. While I've never coded in C before I have coded in VB for fifteen years, and in Java for over ten, I was stunned to see how poorly C fared compared to these two, more low-level languages.
C's biggest difficulty, as we all know, is the fact that it is by far one of the slowest languages in existance, especially when compared to more modern languages such as Java and C#. Although the reasons for this are varied, the main reasons seems to be the way C requires a programmer to laboriously work with chunks of memory.
Requiring a programmer to manipulate blocks of memory is a tedious way to program. This was satisfactory back in the early days of coding, but then again, so were punchcards. By using what are called "pointers" a C programmer is basically requiring the computer to do three sets of work rather than one. The first time requires the computer to duplicate whatever is stored in the memory space "pointed to" by the pointer. The second time requires it to perform the needed operation on this space. Finally the computer must delete the duplicate set and set the values of the original accordingly.
Clearly this is a horrendous use of resources and the chief reason why C is so slow. When one looks at a more modern (and a more serious) programming language like Java, C# or - even better - Visual Basic that lacks such archaic coding styles, one will also note a serious speed increase over C.
So what does this mean for the programming community? I think clearly that C needs to be abandonded. There are two candidates that would be a suitable replacement for it. Those are Java and Visual Basic.
Having programmed in both for many years, I believe that VB has the edge. Not only is it slightly faster than Java its also much easier to code in. I found C to be confusing, frightening and intimidating with its non-GUI-based coding style. Furthermore, I like to see the source code of the projects I work with. Java's source seems to be under the monopolistic thumb of Sun much the way that GCC is obscured from us by the marketing people at the FSF. Microsoft's "shared source" under which Visual Basic is released definately seems to be the most fair and reasonable of all the licenses in existance, with none of the harsh restrictions of the BSD license. It also lacks the GPLs requirement that anything coded with its tools becomes property of the FSF.
I hope to see a switch to VB very soon. I've already spoken with various luminaries in the *nix coding world and most are eager to begin to transition. Having just gotten off the phone with Mr. Alan Cox, I can say that he is quite thrilled with the speed increases that will occur when the Linux kernel is completely rewritten in Visual Basic. Richard Stallman plans to support this, and hopes that the great Swede himself, Linux Torvaldis, won't object to renaming Linux to VB/Linux. Although not a C coder himself, I'm told that Slashdot's very own Admiral Taco will support this on his web site. Finally, Dennis Ritchie is excited about the switch!
Thank you for your time. Happy coding.
Egg Troll
C - A language that combines the speed of assembly with the ease of use of assembly.
Sounds like a porn star name.
Have you forgotten what these people (Caldera) did to DOS? I know DOS might not be such a high priority to most people, but there are still people who care about DOS and the leverage that Caldera had on Microsoft which was obviously ironed out. Let me rehash history a bit, Caldera inhereited DOS from the Novell folks and at that point they have the right to SUE Microsoft to death (Since it was found that Microsoft had put special instructions in the Windows code to make it not run on the original IBM DOS). But, instead of getting something done right, the kind folk of Caldera accepted a nice wad of $$'s from Microsoft and shut themselves up. And what happend to DOS? They still held onto the code, they held onto it for many years till finally giving it up (We know have FreeDOS which is better than CLOSED DOS). And now this thing called United Linux. Where do you think this is heading? Everthing reeks of the same grubby $ hungry Caldera and their desire to exploit our loving Tux and milk her to the last drop. I say it's time we took back our penguin. I say it's time for civil disobedience and not spend a single cent on this United Linux effor and any company behind that effort. I say we need to take back our Linux and make it be know that's it's from the people for the people.
Greed will be the death of Linux, if it hasn't already. Not only is Linux's ongoing search for a stable VM system a waste of human lives in today's environment where FreeBSD is freely available without the GPL virus, but everyone trying to divide up the Linux pie has lead to fragmentation and selfish self-promotion. It's high time this sad chapter in Computer Science history came to an end. Just say no to Linux.
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Day In The Life Of The Average Slashdot Reader
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I've always been rather fastidious about cleanliness; I guess that's why I washed the bitch's cunt opening. I mean fucking a female Doberman was one thing, but fucking her all dirty and grungy was quite another.
I poured warm soapy water over my young bitch's body and scrubbed her fine chocolate colored fur, making sure to massage the soapy water into her sexual areas. She seemed to like it when I rubbed the soapy cloth across her bitch-hole; she'd shiver and whined for me each time I made contact.
We were both naked and wet as I began to dry her. My stiff teenage dick was rubbing against her damp fur and I was getting so aroused that there was no way I was going to back out of it now.
The thought of screwing my Doberman bitch came to me when I read some of those porno stories at asstr.org. They were about woman screwing their dogs. All kinds of situations were described, and I soon realized that those types of stories made me so horny that I'd blow my wad before finishing even a short story.
My folks had bought this Dobby about six months ago and she was a sweet pup. Clean athletic lines and bright intelligent eyes. And when she went into heat last week and I watched the neighbor's dog fuck her in our back yard, well... the thought blazed through my mind like a
falling star, 'Why couldn't I use her to get myself off.'
I'll admit that I'm no stud-muffin. At 15 I was still skinny as a rail and had that computer-geek whitefish complexion that you get from sitting in front of your computer all day playing video games and working on programs.
Needless to say I was still a virgin. But I wanted to lay a girl in the worst way. It was just that I was too shy to put myself in a position to get one to do anything with me.
I dreamt about fucking girls all the time, just about any girl I met, or saw, I'd fantasize about. Even my buddies mothers and older AND younger sisters weren't exempt. It didn't really matter if they were attractive or not, all I wanted was to sink my dick into a hot wet cunt and bang away until I came.
That's why I was in my back yard on my hands and knees, naked and washing the family pup. My folks were gone for the entire day visiting old college friends who lived up the peninsula in San Francisco and I had the place to myself.
I intended to lose my virginity to our female Doberman that very afternoon. And as I rubbed vigorously, drying her fur I began to finger her with my free hand. When my finger first touched her slit she jumped in surprise and growled at me.
But soon she settled down and let me stick my finger into her to the first knuckle. Then in an effort to see what she could accommodate I pushed another finger in and began fucking her with two fingers. She felt so slick and warm inside, I could just imagine how it would feel to sink my dick into her.
Hell, I'd been imagining that feeling for years, and it was time to do it. I was going to fuck our female Doberman -- it was now or never.
She stood in the afternoon sun smelling of shampoo, and I could feel the light breeze as if it were a caress against my fevered dick. It ruffled through my pubic hair as I climbed over the bitches back and positioned myself at her slick opening.
It took quit an effort to make any headway. I remember trying to stick myself into her cunt and nothing was happening. I kept missing or sliding off to one side or another. But finally I felt a wonderful hot slickness encircle the head of my dick and I instinctively knew that I'd hit pay dirt.
I kept wiggling my dick around with my hand and making shallow thrusts and was finally rewarded with the feeling of a tight moist, hot enclosure gripping my dick and I sank further into my female pup.
The dog was looking over her shoulder at me with a strange expression in her eyes and her teeth bared. I wasn't sure what to make of it, but at that moment I didn't really care if my dog through I was a crazy pervert. She felt so good wrapped tightly around my dick that all I wanted to do was make fucking motions, to sink balls-deep into her and then fuck her until I came.
And that's exactly what I did. I finally penetrated the bitch so that I felt her tight cunt muscles stretched all the length of my dick. I remember thinking to myself what a wonderful feeling it was, so liberating to have my dick planted into a warm wet cunt instead of the five-fingered fuck that I'd had to be satisfied with all my life up until that moment.
I began to fuck my Doberman bitch in earnest. I loved the feeling of her inner cunt walls of wet warm velvet grasping at my prick as I pumped in and out of her. She stood there patiently letting me use her body and I grunted and groaned over her back in ecstatic pleasure.
Then I was coming -- and I literally howled as I experienced the most intense orgasm of my life. I emptied my balls into our family pet, gasping for breath, shoving in as deep as I could go.
When my gushes of pleasure were spent I gingerly pulled out of the Dobby and watched as my come spilled out with my departure. I knelt there on my knees looking at the sleek young Dobby as she moved away from me and lay down on the carpeted patio and began to clean herself, licking my come from between her legs.
I knelt there watching her, my boner still hard, our mingled goo feeling wet and cool from the light breeze still rusting the leaves.
Rustling the leaves? What? Who was there?
I looked over my shoulder to see the Bruce, neighbor boy watching me. I saw that his eyes were wide and they were glued to my hard shinny dick.
Damn, I was caught, and we went to the same school too.
Epilogue:
As it turned out my neighbor Bruce was a pretty good friend and one thing led to another and we ended up experimenting with a lot of things together that summer.
He turned out to be as shy as me around girls even though he had dark good looks, and we did a lot of things with each other that answered many questions that we'd never had the nerve to asked. I even ended up sharing our Dobby with him...
THE END
is the same reason that no-talent moron River Phoenix got any parts in films - because of his 'dorky-cool' name.
That's it. There's no other logical explanation.
I mean, I've never met anybody who's even claimed to -know- anybody who's ever run Caldera Linux, or even seen it running on some computer somewhere, you know?
So, let's do ourselves a favor and just forget about this dimwit and his oh-so-pretentious moniker so and go back to more relevant stuff like
whether or not Ozzie's wife is going to defecate in his bag of pot or whatever, OK?