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Why Magic Online Will Suck

Posted by michael on from the hard-knocks dept.

An anonymous reader sends us a link to this funny dissection of online gaming. The writer obviously speaks from bitter experience. :)

9 of 215 comments (clear)

  1. Serial Troller's greatest hits: TR�LL�NP�LK�! by Linus+Turdballs · · Score: -1, Troll

    Whats better? Apparently more people like domain-name rapists than they like fæces-obsessed crapflooders. Could this be possible?

    On a related note, no one likes Trollaxor. Poor troll...

    Oh, almost forgot:

    THE TROLL POLKA (ARSCHFICKEN MIT ZIEGEN) By Serial Troller Is das nicht ein early post? Ja! Das ist mein early post! Is das nicht ein Goatse ghost? Ja! Das ist mein Goatse ghost! Early post, Goatse ghost, Oh, du schöne, Oh, du schöne, Oh, du schöne, Slashdot sucks! Is das post at minus one? Ja! Das ist at minus one! Is das trolling so much fun? Ja! Das trolling is so fun! Minus one, trolling fun, Early post, Goatse ghost, Oh, du schöne, Oh, du schöne, Oh, du schöne, Slashdot sucks! Is das nicht ein big crapflood? Ja! Das ist mein big crapflood! Is it worthless Linux FUD? Ja! Das ist mein Linux FUD! Big crapflood, Linux FUD, Minus one, trolling fun, Early post, Goatse ghost, Oh, du schöne, Oh, du schöne, ;Oh, du schöne, Slashdot sucks! Is das nicht der CowBoiKneel? Ja! Das ist der CowBoiKneel! Is dis nicht his manchode meal? Ja! Das ist his manchode meal! CowBoiKneel, manchode meal, Big crapflood, Linux FUD, Minus one, trolling fun, Early post, Goatse ghost, Oh, du schöne, Oh, du schöne, Oh, du schöne, Slashdot sucks! Is das nicht ein WIPO Troll? Ja! Das ist der WIPO Troll! Is das nicht ein Goatse hole? Ja! Das ist der Goatse hole! WIPO Troll, Goatse hole, CowBoiKneel, manchode meal, Big crapflood, Linux FUD, Minus one, trolling fun,Early post, Goatse ghost, Oh, du schöne, Oh, du schöne, Oh, du schöne, Slashdot sucks! Is das nicht Jon Katz slave boys? Ja! Das ist Jon Katz slave boys! Und arent they Tacos sex toys? Ja! They are Tacos sex toys! Katz slave boys, Robs sex toys, WIPO Troll, Goatse hole, CowBoiKneel, manchode meal, Big crapflood, Linux FUD, Minus one, trolling fun, Early post, Goatse ghost, Oh, du schöne, Oh, du schöne, Oh, du schöne, Slashdot sucks! Is das nicht ein trolltalk thread? <div>Ja! Das ist ein trolltalk thread! Is it nicht now FUCKING DEAD? Ja! Is really FUCKING DEAD! Trolltalk thread, FUCKING DEAD, Katz slave boys, Robs sex toys, WIPO Troll, Goatse hole, CowBoiKneel, manchode meal, Big crapflood, Linux FUD, Minus one, trolling fun, Early post, Goatse ghost, Oh, du schöne, Oh, du schöne, Oh, du schöne, Slashdot sucks!

    ____________________

    Change Log:

    • Subtle changes to most verses. It sounded really gay before.
    • Removed all references to Tacos pud. May have been high at time. Will investigate further.
    • Finally think I have
    • goat sex written correctly in German. I think. Arschficken?

    © 2002 Serial Troller. Permission to reproduce this document is granted provided that you send all the bukkake porn you can find to serialtroller@hotmail.com.

    --

    -- Linus Torvalds

  2. anyone gonna watch MIB 2? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll

    I look forward to it, although I hope that Will Smith can make it through a movie without being a bigoted, racist nigger. Its been a long time since he could just be in a movie and be a good actor.

  3. Re:You won't see the players by Zombie+WIPO+Troll · · Score: -1, Troll
    Half the entertaining value of a Magic "gathering" is seeing the people who show up...some are quite interesting based on my memories from high school a few years ago.

    Online version just won't have that for a draw.

    Yes, while I will agree that you have made an interesting and humourous comment, I think that you'll get a good chuckle out of my joke as well:

    Q: What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies?
    A: You can't unload dead babies with a pitchfork!

    As you see, both of our comments incorporated real-life elements to weave a real knee-slapper.

  4. Go OUTSIDE by natersoz · · Score: 2, Troll

    repeat...

  5. Hum... by tuxedo-steve · · Score: 0, Troll

    Is it just me, or does it seem to anyone else that the essential quality of `being news' is missing from this article?

    Could it be that /. is solving its `erronious article content' problem by posting articles without any content whatsoever?

    Not trolling, just musing about having nothing to muse over.

    --
    - SMJ - (It's not just a name: it's a bad aftertaste.)
  6. Re:You won't see the players by Zombie+WIPO+Troll · · Score: -1, Troll
    Indeed, your clarification is useful. The image of dead babies being unloaded with a pitchfork must have clouded my judgement; you see, I was chuckling quite furiously as I typed the joke.

    You are correct, thank you for your time.

  7. Re:These online games by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll

    I was also wondering what the attraction of such games was. In the UK we don't have much of a following of these sorts of things. In fact I only know of one guy who plays these sort of cards, and he is in a very odd group of friends who act out things in the storyline (apparently, cutting each other and drinking blood, group orgies, and other less bizarre things.)

    What was it called, now ..? Changeling, or something? I don't remember.

    I also recall meeting a German guy who played Dungeons and Dragons, and he was surprised at how unpopular it is over here.

    Can someone please explain what is so attractive about these role-playing things? I really don't get it. Thanks.

  8. Who you calling... by Mulletproof · · Score: 0, Troll

    Nigger? Common man, when was the lst time you saw Will Smith nig? I mean, i haven't nigged in ages...

    Dumbass.

    --
    You need a FREE iPod Nano
  9. Re:Magic Was Never Designed For This Business Mode by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll

    expert pfftr

    chronx was a failure from the beginning, I played it at beta and launch and found:

    a) no clear goal
    b) ugly art
    c) ugly text
    d) no clear rules

    Does wizards care if you care? They still put out 3 expansions per 6 months and they still sell enough. The current online incarnation is the BEST way to play magic online. Some judges are using it as reference because they aren't smart enough to remember the rules.

    If you can't afford the online cards, don't play and stop whining. Oh wait this a free software site!