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Interview with Ian Jackson
Figuring you can never get too much Ian Jackson, Trevelyan writes: "Debian Planet has an
interview with the long time Debian maintainer, and a former DPL, a current member of the
technical committee and the author of
dpkg.
Also
announced Debian GNU/Linux 2.2r7 released. In case some of you thought Debian won't be releasing anything this year =)"
Why is it that my bios can recognize my usb mouse but debian cant?
Huh?
You link is b0rk3d. plzfxkthx!
It seems that the Janitors, in their infinite wisdom, have banned people who have low/negative karma from posting more than twice per day. Personally I find this completely stupid.
All the trolls will simply post AC as I am doing now. Proxies can be used to get around any ipid bans that result from AC trolls.
Surely it is better to let the trolls post at -1 where it is out of most peoples way rather than have them all post at 0 and suck up mod points and time from "legit" users?
I have tried to communicate my thoughts to the slashcode team but alas, to no avail. They are probably all sittin on their starwars bed sheets watching anime hentai tentacle rape pr0n.
Here is my proposal: All trolls that cannot post using their account post as AC. Use proxies if need be (www.antiproxy.com is a good source). I suspect this will show them how useless this idea is. Will blocking troll uid's stop trolls? NO! will ipid bans stop trolls? NO!
I seriously fail to see the point of this and consider it a stupid move by the janitors.
They want us to troll and crapflood at 0 rather than -1? Fine! So be it! No longer will we post at -1 where few people dare to visit, now we will post at 0 where we will be more visible and waste peoples time, energy and mod points! Hoorah!
The next thing you know, posting AC will be banned! Then what will you do? No more posting interesting insider tidbits! Groupthink all the way baby! oh yeah!
So logout, post shit, use proxies and above all have fun!
Let the games begin! -- on by
- poopbot: lovely snot! wonderful snot!
I was serious! I ain't no Troll!
Guess some 'user' (read: editor) made my post part of the slashdot crap that is going on now...
Well, no Debian 3, no alcohol, no future, notable bore... Another typical saturday I guess
% of ppl who've heard of him on /. must be higher than most other interviewers featured here. Ian is almost a cult figure.
"I'm a man!" I groaned. "I've been fucked by a man's cock! I'm not a boy anymore!"
I scooped Dad's and Uncle Brian's shit into my hands and smeared my body with their warm filth. Lying on the floor of the basement, wallowing in
the waste of these two men, I gazed up at the candles. They flickered silently. I lay at the foot of the cross as upon an altar where I was
the victim being offered up to the God of raunch!
Dad and Uncle Brian held me in their arms. Our filthy, smelly bodies rubbing against one another. My cock stirred and jerked upward within the confines of the leather jockstrap. I reached down and pulled it free, stroking it with my shit fillled hand.
The warmth of manturd on my cock, the stench that wafted into my nostrils made my body tremble and my asshole, my dirty asshole, quivered at the sensation it had just felt for the very first time!
My tight boy hole was no longer virgin territory. My father had filled me with his manhood and his seed. I belonged to him now in a special way.
Reaching up to my Dad, I grasped the back of his neck with my shitty hand and drew his lips towards mine.
"Am I a man now, Dad?" I whispered, as his lips grazed mine.
"Yes, my son!" he answered, softly. "You are now a man!"
Uncle Brian slid down, trailing wet kisses along my filth covered body. Closer and closer he slid his mouth towards my hard cock.
"Mmmmmmmmmmmm!" I moaned, as he took my raunchy dick into his mouth and sucked. "Yeah! Suck my dirty dick, Uncle Brian! Fuckin' suck your
shit off my dick!"
I squirmed, thrusting my hips upwards, sinking my cock deep within my Uncle's mouth.
As he sucked on my dick, he reached up and to his left, ramming his fingers up his brother's asshole!
"Aaaaaahhhhhh!" Dad groaned, welcoming this intrusion. "Fuck! Give it to me Brian. Fist my shitty hole!"
Slowly, Dad got up on all fours. He positioned himself over me, his cock hanging over my mouth.
"My fuckhole is so hungry, Brian! I need your fist up my ass!"
Uncle Brian took his mouth off of my dick and knelt between my outstreatched legs and Dad's upturned ass. He worked several fingers in and out of Dad's asshole. The pasty goo oozing out of Dad's shithole served as lube as Uncle Brian inserted all five of his fingers in Dad's butthole!
"Fuck yeah! Give it to me, little brother! More!" Dad groaned, pushing his hairy ass back onto Uncle Brian's disappearing fingers. The knuckles penetrated. Dad maoned out loud and reached for the bottle of Rush.
I could hear him inhaling the vapors from the bottle deeply. I sucked his cock into my mouth.
"Ah fuck!" Dad cried out, as my head jerked upward to swallow his semi-hard cock and Uncle Brian's hand sunk into Dad's gaping, hungry hole!
"How's that feel, brother?"
"Fuckin' wonderful, Brian! Fuck me! Punch my ass, little brother!"
Uncle Brian scooped some of the shit from my body and coated his arm
with it. Sighing with animal lust he began fucking Dad's ass with his
fist.
"More! More!" Dad grunted, pushing his ass back taking more of Uncle
Brian's arm up his ass. "Find something up there you like, Brian?"
"I feel shit, Chris!" Uncle Brian yelled, "I can feel your fuckin' butt
slop!"
"Yeah! Dig for shit, little brother! Dig for my stinking shit! That's
your playground, Brian! Give it to me, fucker! Punch my dirty ass!"
Uncle Brian pistoned his fist in and out of Dad's ass. When he withdrew
his hand completely I could feel Dad's warm shit oozing out of his
asshole onto my dick. I sucked his cock harder.
"Yeah! You fuckiin' cocksucker! Suck my dick, Philip! Suck it while
your Uncle fists my shitty asshole!"
"Fuckin' shit pigs!" Uncle Brian shouted. "We're fuckin' dirty pigs!"
"Fist my raunchy ass, Brian! Shove your fuckin' arm up my dirty ass!"
Uncle Brian lunged forward. Dad's greedy hole swallowed his brother's
arm up to the elbow!
"Yes! Yes! You fuckin' bitch! Pound my ass, Brian! Suck my fuckin'
dick, Philip! Don't stop! Please don't stop, the both of you!
Aaaaaahhhhhh! Fuck!"
Uncle Brian and I worked in unison giving pleasure to Dad. The one
fisting; the other sucking; Dad moaning in ecstacy.
"Need more!" Dad yelled. "I wanna feel Philip's fist up my ass with
yours too!"
I gasped as Dad pulled his dick out of my mouth.
"Get back there with your Uncle, Philip, and shove your fist up my
hungry asshole! I want you both at the same time!"
I wiggled myself from beneath my Dad and knelt beside my Uncle Brian
whose arm was embedded in his brother's shithole.
"There's some crisco in the toy bag, Philip. Lube your hand up with
it."
I retrieved the can and proceded to grease up my hand and forearm.
"Are you ready, Philip?"
"Oh yeah!" I hissed as Uncle Brian retracted his arm to his wrist.
"Fuck me, guys!" Dad hollered, "I wanna feel the both of you up my ass
digging for shit!"
"Slide your fingers up your Dad's ass, one at a time, Philip. Do it
slow. Take your time. When you're all the way in, hold my hand!"
I did as I was told. One finger at a time.
"Fuck! Fuck!" Dad yelled. "Give it to me, son!"
Slowly, my hand disappeared into the gaping, dirty hole. My hand slid
alongside that of my Uncle's and he curled his fingers around mine.
"Ah shit!" Dad let out a loud gasp. He looked back at us, his eyes
glazed with lust. "Fucking pigs!" he screamed. "Fuck me! Fist fuck
my shitty ass!"
In tandem, Uncle Brian and I pumped our fists deeper and deeper into the
willing, hungry asshole. As we fisted Dad's ass, Uncle Brian kissed me
deeply. Our mouths greedily sucking each other's tongues as our fists
punched away in the sewer of my Dad's filthy butthole.
"Aaaaaahhhhhh! Yeeeeessssss! Yeah! Pound my motherfuckin' dirty ass!
Fuck me! Dig the shit outta my ass, you fuckin' sluts! Fuckin' pigs!"
As I gazed upwards, the candles flickered softly, casting their glow
upon the cross which the three of us, eerily were kneeling before.
Together, we were upon the altar of Raunch. A new sacrificial lamb was
being offered up to the God of Shit!
I clasped my Uncle Brian's huge, uncut cock in my free hand and began
stroking.
"Jack me off, Philip! Make me cum!"
I pull and pull on his cock, milking the pre-cum from his pisshole. He
reaches for my dick and returns the favor. Stroke for stroke, we
masturbate one another as we bury our fists up Dad's filthy asshole.
A million shocks of pleausure envelope my body. I'm tingling all over.
So much has happened to me tonight. So many new discoveries. Pain with
pleasure. Pleasure with pain!
The journey that began several months ago has opened up for me a whole
new world that I embrace willingly.
"Yes! Yes! Jack me off too, Uncle Brian! I wanna cum again!"
Together, the three of us pull on cocks. We are untied, bound together
in a very special union.
"Fuck! Fuck!" we gasp in unison, "I'm gonna fuckin' shoot!"
Our bodies heave and tremble. Dad impales himself more deeply upon mine
and Uncle Brian's fists as he ejaculates upon the floor.
One by one. One right after another, our cocks explode sending ropes of
cum flying in the air.
As Uncle Brian and I retract our hands from Dad's ass, a slurping sound
is heard. His puckering bud flares and a foul smelling fart hisses from
his fisted hole. It's stink fills my nostrils as I collapse onto him,
my mouth at his asshole. Sucking. Nursing at the brown shit log he's
pushing out of his asshole into my mouth.
I tumble onto the floor, my mouth filled with Dad's shit. Uncle Brian
collapses beside me and kisses me deeply. A sloppy, slurping shit kiss.
Dad too, crashes to the floor, panting heavily in the aftermath of his
orgasm. He moans and releases a flow of warm piss that streams its way
towards Uncle Brian and I.
I am in heaven! The journey of a boy to manhood is completed.
Epilogue
January 1, 2000
It's cold outside. The wind is whipping snow against the window. I'm
making this enty into my journal sitting on a rim seat gazing at the
falling snow.
Dad is under the rim seat receiving my morning dump, the way he always
does, in his hungry mouth!
As for Uncle Brian. He lives here with Dad and I now. He's our lover.
We're each other's lovers. Strange isn't it, how things come about?
As Dad feeds from my asshole, Uncle Brian is sucking on my pissing cock.
Outside, the snow is swirling. Everything is beautiful. What more
could a sixteen-year-old teenage boy ask for?
You tell me! Slashdot.org
Yes, Debian is the next version of Apache
But you need ssh to boot a Debian, so you all guessed right Mr Troll
Debian is just an hobby toy for rabid people who like to argue on the internet.
# New check (July 2002): there is a max number of posts per 24-hour
# period, either based on IPID for anonymous users, or on UID for
# logged-in users. Logged-in users get a max number of posts that
# is related to their karma. The comments_perday_bykarma var
# controls it (that var is turned into a hashref in MySQL.pm when
# the vars table is read in, whose keys we loop over to find the
# appropriate level).
if ($user->{is_anon} && $constants->{comments_perday_anon}
&& !$user->{is_admin}) {
my $num_comm_posted = $slashdb->getNumCommPostedAnonByIPID(
$user->{ipid}, 24);
if ($num_comm_posted >= $constants->{comments_perday_anon}) {
$$error_message = getError('comments post limit daily', {
limit => $constants->{comments_perday_anon}
});
$form_success = 0;
return;
}
} elsif (!$user->{is_anon} && $constants->{comments_perday_bykarma}
&& !$user->{is_admin}) {
my $num_comm_posted = $slashdb->getNumCommPostedByUID(
$user->{uid}, 24);
my $num_allowed = 9999;
K_CHECK: for my $k (sort { $a <=> $b }
keys %{$constants->{comments_perday_bykarma}}) {
if ($user->{karma} <= $k) {
$num_allowed = $constants->{comments_perday_bykarma}{$k};
last K_CHECK;
}
}
if ($num_comm_posted >= $num_allowed) {
$$error_message = getError('comments post limit daily', {
limit => $num_allowed
});
$form_success = 0;
return;
}
}
well getting less important than not important would be rather difficult.
Besides a couple l33t d00ds and some rabid stallmanists nobody gives a shit about debian.
LoL.
I've been trying to find that message and could not find it in the [crap] slashdot search. Can any of you good trolls post that for the sake of our sanity?
No no no! Junis uses the Amiga! He rips DivX ;-) movies on it too.
-1: 45 comments
0: 31 comments
1: 10 comments
2: 2 comments
3 and 4 and 5 all have zero in them!
note that the totals above are cumulative so the -1 number includes all the others (ie -1 and higher).
Call It A Night, Cowboy!
Slashdot only allows anonymous users to post 10 times per day. You've already shared your thoughts with us that many times. Take a breather, and come back and see us in 24 hours or so.
If you think this is unfair, please email jamie@mccarthy.vg with your MD5'd IPID, which is
928347982374932749
Did you ever notice how slashdot is like america?
They just keep taking away more and more freedoms in an attempt to make it more nice/secure/friendly/whatever and it stays the same or gets worse...haha.
There are many other parallels with the crapiness of america but i'm to lazy to write them all down.
I'll leave that as an excersize to the reader.
Warning! Goatse.cx link in parent!
Within the software industry, the recent clash of source-code licensing philosophies has proponents of commercial software and open-source advocates frequently at loggerheads. Both commercial and open-source software models, however, have demonstrated value for various sectors of the software market, which has determined that multiple licensing and distribution models should coexist in healthy competition. The market, in fact, is driving both camps toward a middle ground where the most beneficial aspects of both philosophies are embraced.
In May 2001, Microsoft® responded with a Shared Source Initiative (SSI) to provide source access to a broad range of customers, partners, independent developers, researchers and other interested individuals, while preserving the intellectual property rights that have sustained innovation throughout the industry over the past quarter-century. The SSI framework supports a spectrum of licensing programs, each tailored to the source-access needs of a specific constituent community. Meanwhile, prominent open-source developers began to adopt certain commercial distribution methods in their own pragmatic migration toward the middle. These developers commonly rely on open-source licenses, like those based on the Berkeley Software Distribution (BSD) license, that place few if any restrictions on licensees' subsequent use of licensed source code, including its use in commercial software development.
Free software distributors, by contrast, use the highly restrictive GPL, which was created by the Free Software Foundation (FSF) in furtherance of its philosophy that software should not be subject to ownership, and thus that commercial software is inherently immoral. The GPL governs distribution of some popular free software, including Linux. The GPL may be beneficial to noncommercial developers and certain licensees in other contexts, but several of the license's terms and uncertainties should raise red flags for commercial developers considering its use.
Because many businesses may not understand the GPL and its potential implications, Microsoft offers this document as a checklist and to provide important background information. Most or all of the following questions will be familiar to those who have examined the GPL. Many of them have generated considerable debate even among open-source and free-software advocates. Comments in this document are based on GPL Version 2, Lesser General Public License (LGPL) Version 2.1 and the GNU GPL FAQ page (www.gnu.org/copyleft/gpl-faq.html).
The GPL is a complicated agreement. To understand your potential rights and obligations, you must interpret the various provisions of the license and apply them to your particular circumstances. Microsoft recommends that you obtain legal counsel as appropriate. This document does not and cannot offer legal advice.
1. Have your lawyers read the GPL (and the LGPL)? Because the GPL is so frequently misunderstood and because it attempts, under certain circumstances, to impose significant obligations on licensees and their intellectual property rights, no responsible business should use GPL software without ensuring that its lawyers have read the license and explained the business' rights and obligations. They should also review and explain the Lesser General Public License, or LGPL, a related license that is sometimes used with open source libraries.
2. How are you using GPL software and what obligations does it impose? The obligations associated with the GPL vary substantially depending upon the way in which GPL code is used. Even limited or relatively obscure uses (e.g., including a few lines of GPL code in a commercial product or linking directly or indirectly to a GPL library) may have a dramatic effect on your legal rights and obligations. To understand the potential implications of the GPL, you need to have a detailed understanding of your use of GPL code. Basing any analysis upon a superficial understanding may present serious risks.
3. How does your use of GPL software affect your intellectual property rights? One of the most significant impacts of the GPL is its potential effect on your intellectual property rights. The GPL is widely referred to as 'viral' because it attempts to subject independently-created code (and associated intellectual property) to the terms of the GPL if it is used in certain ways together with GPL code (see Sections 2 and 3 of the GPL). For example, a business that combines and distributes GPL code with its own proprietary code may be obligated to share with the rest of the world valuable intellectual property (including patent) rights in both code bases on a royalty free basis. Other uses of GPL code may also create obligations for the user. It is important to perform a careful legal and technical review of this issue before using GPL software.
4. What if you are simply a customer, acquiring GPL software from other businesses? Does the GPL have any effect on your rights and obligations? Section 0 of the GPL says "[a]ctivities other than copying, distribution and modification are not covered by this License; they are outside its scope. The act of running the Program is not restricted." So, a customer who only runs the Program should have no obligations to the author of the code under the GPL. As discussed below, however, such a customer also has no rights from the author (e.g., no assurance that the code is even free from "known" copyright infringement problems) and may have liabilities to third parties. If, on the other hand, the customer's use of GPL code involves even limited modification, copying or distribution of the code, the GPL arguably does impose obligations to the author, discussed above and below. In assessing this possibility, customers should carefully consider what the GPL means by "copying, modifying and distribution."
5. Can you develop applications for a GPL program, like Linux, without subjecting those applications to the GPL? This is a particularly important question. The answer will almost certainly depend upon a detailed analysis of the way in which the application was developed and distributed and will be subject to caveats regarding the interpretation and enforceability of the GPL. For example, the analysis will presumably involve a careful review of your development team's exposure to and use of GPL code during the development process, especially whether the application incorporated any such code or was otherwise derived from it. The analysis would also likely consider what libraries are used; how are they used (e.g., statically linked or dynamically linked); whether they, in turn, link to other libraries; and which licenses (GPL or LGPL) govern all of these various libraries. Similarly, the analysis would probably consider what header files are used; whether they, in turn, include other headers; and which licenses govern these various headers. In addition, the analysis would presumably consider whether the application is distributed with GPL code and, if so, how it is distributed and by whom.
6. Can distribution of your code with GPL code require you to license your code under the GPL? Have you combined your own code with code licensed under the GPL? The GPL attempts to address these questions directly. Section 2 of the GPL says that identifiable sections of a work that are not derived from a GPL program and that "can be reasonably considered independent and separate" are not subject to the GPL when distributed as separate works. But if these separate sections are distributed "as part of a whole which is a work based on" a GPL program, then this distribution of the "work as a whole" is subject to the GPL. Section 2 also says that a "mere aggregation of another work not based on the [GPL] Program on a volume of a storage or distribution medium does not bring the other work under the scope of this License." A licensee is left with the difficult task of deciding whether a particular combination is a "work as a whole" (GPL infection apparently intended) or a "mere aggregation" (GPL infection disclaimed).
7. If your software becomes "infected" by the GPL, do you have to give it away for free? Section 3 of the GPL says that you can copy and distribute a GPL program (or a work based on such a program) in object code or executable form, subject to several restrictions. You are supposed to make the corresponding source code available, for example, by including the source code with the object code or offering to distribute it to any third party (Section 3). Section 1 says that you "may charge a fee for the physical act of transferring a copy," but Section 2 says that you "must cause any work that you distribute or publish, that in whole or in part contains or is derived from [a GPL] Program or any part thereof, to be licensed as a whole at no charge to all third parties under the terms of this License." The net effect is, apparently, that you are able to charge a fee for your software, but that right is significantly undercut by your obligation to give others (including your competitors) the right to distribute your software for free.
8. Are your obligations under the GPL "flexible" or "proportional" to your use of GPL code? Suppose Business A uses a few hundred lines of GPL code in its existing 500,000-line proprietary program and makes copies for its own employees or distributes ten copies of the modified program as a collective work. Suppose Business B combines 500,000 lines of GPL code with an existing 1000-line proprietary program and distributes 500,000 copies of the modified program as a collective work. The GPL may be read as to require both businesses to share the source code for their modified programs (including their existing commercial programs) and allow royalty-free redistribution of those programs. This is true despite the potentially dramatic differences in the volume, value and copies of the GPL code used.
9. Do you have all of the rights required to use GPL code? Could your use of GPL code cause you to infringe on the intellectual property rights associated with code you have licensed from others? The seemingly obvious answer to the first question is yes because those rights are provided under the GPL. The correct answer, however, may require more careful analysis. If, for example, you plan to combine and distribute GPL code with pre-existing code, the "viral" nature of the GPL may require you to provide source code for the pre-existing code to all third parties and license others to use it on a royalty-free basis (see Section 2). Unfortunately, if you licensed some of the pre-existing code from a third party, you may not even have access to the source code, much less the right to license it to the rest of the world on a royalty-free basis under the terms of the GPL.
10. Do you have any existing obligations that might preclude your use of GPL software? Could your use of GPL code put you in breach of existing contractual obligations? As noted above, the use of GPL code with code licensed from another party could, under certain circumstances, arguably obligate you to sublicense the other party's code under the GPL. If you expressly agreed not to attempt to sublicense the other party's code, you should consider whether your use of the GPL code presents a risk that breaches your earlier contract. Even if no breach occurs, the GPL includes provisions that may make it impossible for licensees to retain both their GPL rights and rights under other agreements. For example, Section 7 of the GPL says that if "conditions are imposed on you (whether by court order, agreement or otherwise) that contradict the conditions of this license, they do not excuse you from the conditions of this License. If you cannot distribute so as to satisfy simultaneously your obligations under this License and any other pertinent obligations, then as a consequence you may not distribute the Program at all." Suppose Business A has developed a program using trade secret rights that were licensed from Business B under an agreement that prohibited their disclosure. Now assume that A uses GPL code in a way that "infects" its program. Section 7 apparently says that use of GPL code in such a program is impermissible. This places A in an untenable situation: unless it persuades B to divulge its trade secrets to the world, A must cease distribution of its program. This may be true even if A's use of GPL code is minimal.
11. Have you considered the risk that GPL code might infringe on third party intellectual property rights? Although it is always difficult for a business to ensure that acquired products do not infringe on third-party intellectual property rights, the risks associated with the use of GPL software may be substantially higher than those associated with commercial software. For example, given the distributed nature of open source development, you should understand what controls, if any, you have in place to screen unlicensed code or trade secret information from inclusion in the GPL program. This view is perhaps reinforced by the fact that Section 11 of the GPL expressly disclaims any warranties, including presumably a warranty that the program is free from infringements of third-party copyrights or trade secrets known to the contributor. You should also ask yourself if GPL developers may conclude that this disclaimer makes it okay to distribute code under the GPL when they know they don't have the rights required to do so. Developers of commercial software, in contrast, typically have procedures, contractual obligations, and a substantial financial stake in minimizing potential infringements.
12. What happens if an intellectual property owner, who claims that your use of GPL code infringes its intellectual property rights, sues you? As noted above, Section 11 suggests that you are "on your own" with respect to defense of the suit and payment for damages.
13. What is the extent of your liability for GPL-related infringements? Several provisions of the GPL may be read as requiring a GPL licensee to effectively sublicense its rights to the rest of the world (e.g., Section 2, relating to the modification and distribution of GPL works). GPL licensees should ask themselves whether, and to what extent, they might be responsible for the actions of their sub-licensees. For example, suppose Business A distributes a modified copy of GPL code to Businesses B, C, and D, and each of them further distributes 1000 copies. If Business A is sued for patent infringement relating to its use of GPL software, the patent owner might claim that the business is liable for direct infringement based upon the three copies distributed to Businesses B, C, and D and is further liable for direct, contributory, or induced infringement by the 3000 additional copies distributed by these businesses (and, of course, any and all later distributions by such businesses and their downstream sub-licensees). While actual liability would depend upon a host of factual issues, if Business A has deeper pockets than the other businesses, it should not be surprised to find plaintiff's counsel pursuing such an approach and claiming theoretically unlimited damages caused by Business A's limited initial distribution.
14. Can the author of a GPL program 'unilaterally' withdraw your right to distribute the program? Section 8 of the GPL gives "the original copyright holder who places the Program under this License" the right to preclude distribution in certain countries based on patents or interface copyrights. It is not clear that a licensee has any right to object to this restriction, which may be solely within the discretion of the original copyright holder. It is also not clear whether this restriction can be imposed retroactively, although Section 8 does say, "this License incorporates the limitation as if written in the body of this License." Companies relying on GPL code should carefully consider the potential impact such a geographical restriction could have on their business.
15. Can you use GPL tools in the development of your own software without subjecting your software to the GPL? As noted above, the GPL is sometimes referred to as being 'viral' because it attempts to subject related third-party code and intellectual property to the GPL. People concerned about this aspect of the GPL are probably careful about modifying GPL programs or combining their code with GPL code, but they may assume that their use of GPL tools cannot 'infect' the software they are developing. While this is probably true in many cases, it is not necessarily a safe assumption. For example, the 'Bison' parser developed by Richard Stallman, Robert Corbett and Wilfred Hansen was licensed under the GPL for some time before users realized that the software they were developing with the tool was arguably subject to the GPL. The potential exposure resulted from the parser's inclusion of incidental GPL material in the tool's output. In response to this problem, Bison version 1.24 and later was distributed with a 'special exception' regarding output files. The implication is that businesses concerned about the possible infection of their software by the GPL should make sure they consider: what, if any, GPL tools are being used by their developers; how those tools are used; and the possibility that such uses might subject their own code to the GPL.
16. If the GPL requires you to 'contribute' your modifications to GPL code to 'the community,' are you sure that your competitors are doing the same? Assuming that two competitors are making similar use of GPL code, their obligations under the GPL should be the same. There are, however, a number of scenarios to consider. Some competitors may not understand their obligations under the GPL and, for that reason, might not share their improvements with competitors. Other competitors' interpretation of the GPL might lead them to conclude that they have no obligation because they might believe the GPL is unenforceable in its entirety. Some competitors may intentionally ignore their obligations under the GPL to obtain a competitive advantage, relying on a variety of factors to avoid compliance. These factors might include obscuring object code to hide use of GPL code and the strength and enforcement of intellectual property laws in the country where they are doing business.
17. Does the GPL present any special challenges for businesses developing or distributing products with embedded software? The GPL does not expressly impose any 'special' obligations on embedded software businesses, but embedded businesses should consider whether the GPL presents any unique risks based upon scenarios common to the embedded product space. For example, the manufacturer of a hardware system that includes some embedded GPL software and some of the manufacturer's own proprietary software may find it particularly important to carefully assess whether the GPL and proprietary software form a 'mere aggregation' (GPL infection disclaimed under Section 2); a 'collective work' (GPL infection apparently intended); or something else altogether. Some embedded software developers, such as Caldera and Wind River, have publicly expressed concerns about the risks associated with the GPL.
18. Are your software developers aware of the many development-related issues that may affect GPL risks and obligations? Are you asking (or allowing) them to act as your legal counsel and are you willing to accept that risk? Are you 'betting your business' on informal or anonymous interpretations of the GPL posted on the Internet? As noted by the Free Software Foundation (FSF), the potential implications of the GPL on software development ultimately depend on the way in which judges will interpret provisions of the GPL. A host of relatively detailed, development-related questions are also likely to be critical. You should probably make sure your developers are asking themselves a number of questions, including: Given the subtle nature of some of the legal issues presented by the GPL, you should also make sure your developers know when to consult legal counsel regarding any potential risks presented by a particular development activity. All businesses would be well advised to avoid taking actions based upon general 'understandings' of the GPL that are not based on a careful reading of the agreement itself.
19. Who can you go to if you have a question regarding the GPL's interpretation, want to clarify your risks under the GPL, or amend your obligations? The GPL was developed under the auspices of the FSF. The FSF is not, however, necessarily the owner of any and all intellectual property rights embodied in particular programs licensed under the GPL. Section 10 recognizes this by suggesting that a GPL licensee could write to a program's author (or authors) for permission to distribute the program under different terms. In some cases, no single person or entity may own all of these property rights. As a result, a prospective (or existing) GPL licensee may find it impractical, if not impossible, to negotiate a desired change in its rights and obligations or even obtain a clarification of those rights and obligations. Even if a licensee were somehow able to identify key contributors and reach agreement with all of them regarding a desired change or clarification, presumably those contributors would be unwilling or unable to represent and warrant that they had the entire right and title required to do so.
20. Are you using any software governed by the Lesser General Public License (LGPL) and, if so, how does that license affect your rights and obligations? The LGPL was developed by the FSF to give library developers an alternative to the GPL. Specifically, although the FSF generally discourages use of the LGPL, it notes that "using the Library GPL permits use of the library in commercial programs." The LGPL retains the 'viral' provisions of the GPL in the context of modifications to an LGPL library (Section 2). But a different set of obligations are imposed when code is linked to an LGPL library (Sections 5 and 6). If you are developing programs that link to LGPL libraries you should review and understand these obligations. You should also check whether the LGPL libraries used, in turn, link to other libraries and especially consider the implications if the LGPL library links to a GPL library.
21. Does the use of GPL software reduce the acquisition value of your company (as a start-up) or a particular business unit (as a spin-off)? As noted above, the GPL attempts, under certain circumstances, to subject licensees' code and related intellectual property to the terms of the GPL (see, e.g., Section 3). Once your software is 'infected' by the GPL, it is not clear whether and how this process can be reversed. So, while GPL code may seem like an inexpensive, convenient and useful way for a start-up to develop a new product quickly, it may also have costly and long-term consequences for the start-up. Parties interested in acquiring the business are likely to conclude, as a part of any acquisition due diligence, that the business has already effectively given away most of the commercial value in its code.
22. Does your use of GPL code present any issues re shareholder value and exposure to suit? In the context of initial public offerings, at least some businesses based upon GPL software have concluded that such software introduces risks that should be disclosed as part of the offering. These risks include: the companies 'inability' to offer warranties and indemnities because the code is developed by independent parties over whom the offering business has no control or supervision; the uncertain future of the code base (will further development occur and, if so, in what direction); the availability of the same code from other sources for free; and concerns about negative reactions from the open source community. (These issues are discussed in the '10Ks' of several of the publicly traded companies that distribute GPL programs). If you are beginning to use GPL code, you should ask whether this presents similar risks to your business.
23. Do you have a process for reviewing and approving prospective uses of GPL software? Are you willing to use precious developer resources required to assess the impact of prospective uses of GPL code that you will depend on? Most businesses that are engaged in software development establish procedures to avoid tainting their development process with software that is subject to other people's intellectual property rights. Although GPL code is often described as 'free,' as noted above it may impose severe obligations on users and is perhaps even more deserving of a company-wide process regarding review and approval before use.
24. Do you have or need any special procedures regarding potential GPL issues created by your licensing of third-party software and or acquisitions of software? Given the potential effect that the GPL may have on code and intellectual property acquired by (or licensed into) a company, it may make sense for businesses to develop procedures to ensure that such acquisitions and licenses are reviewed for GPL issues. For example, many companies have established 'due diligence' procedures to help them identify and evaluate potential issues associated with the acquisition of businesses, product lines, and intellectual property rights. Companies pursuing software-related acquisitions or investments should probably consider whether their due diligence procedures should be updated to specifically address GPL-related issues.
The Windows .NET Server family, approaching beta 3 release, is the foundation built for businesses in a fast changing market. Windows .NET Server promises to deliver an unprecedented computing foundation to businesses of all sizes.
.NET Server includes all the basic functionalities customers expect from a Windows Server operating system, such as dependability, security, and scalability. In addition, Microsoft has improved and extended the Windows Server product family to enable your business to experience full-blown .NET functionality. .NET Server Family
.NET Web Server A new product within the Windows Server Family, Windows .NET Web Server is optimized for both Web serving and hosting.
.NET Web Server:
.NET Framework.
.NET Standard Server Windows .NET Standard Server is the reliable network operating system that delivers business solutions quickly and easily. This flexible server is the ideal choice for the everyday needs of businesses of all sizes.
.NET Standard Server:
.NET Enterprise Server Built for general purpose needs of businesses of all sizes, Enterprise Server is the platform of choice for applications, Web services, and infrastructure, delivering high reliability, performance, and superior business value.
.NET Enterprise Server:
.NET Datacenter Server Built for the business-critical and mission-critical applications demanding the highest levels of scalability and availability.
.NET Datacenter Server:
.NET Server
.NET Server delivers four primary benefits, enabling you to: .NET Server is built on Windows 2000 with additional improvements and features that prepare your business for .NET. It is the most comprehensive, powerful, and flexible computing architecture delivered by Microsoft.
.NET Server provides the solid foundation necessary for building a comprehensive, integrated, and flexible computing environment, giving customers the highest return on their IT investments today and in the future. .NET Server is built on industry standards that allow customers to extend existing applications and quickly develop new ones. Developers can build directly on the application server, using Web services and managed code, and then run these applications on any Web applications platform.
.NET Server helps businesses securely reach out to their own customers and improve the quality of each contact. Using customizable tools and flexible methods of communication such as streaming media, businesses can adapt services and communications to meet customers' needs.
.NET Server interoperates fully with Windows 2000-based servers. If you already use Windows 2000 Server, you'll be able to upgrade easily and benefit from the many enhancements in Windows .NET Server.
.NET vision is powered by a unifying innovation called XML Web services that allows developers to create next-generation applications. When supported by back-end implementations, these new applications enable communication between applications and systems. As the leader in driving this industry transformation, the Microsoft .NET platform is the most comprehensive and powerful means to build, deploy, manage, and use XML Web services.
.NET functionality built into Windows .NET Server enables faster, more flexible, and more efficient connections with your customers, partners, and employees--giving your company the agility to thrive in a world where everything is connected. This is possible due to several technologies included in Windows .NET Server products, most notably the .NET Framework, an XML Web services platform. XML Web services allow applications to communicate and share data over the Internet, regardless of operating system or programming language.
.NET Server, application developers can build applications that blend XML Web services with traditional applications. This simplifies the process of building, deploying, and maintaining applications, and can Web-enable your business for improved communication, collaboration, and connectivity--both inside and outside your company.
.NET technologies in the Windows .NET Server product family include:
.NET Passport with Microsoft Active Directory(TM). .NET Framework.
.NET platform.
.NET Server Family development process. As with all Microsoft product releases, our number one priority is the quality of the product. Customer input will help determine when the Windows .NET Server Family is complete and ready for final release.
Built on Windows 2000, Windows
What's in the Windows
The Windows Server Family includes four products*:
Windows
Windows
* Is easy to deploy and manage.
* Provides a platform for rapidly developing and deploying Web services and applications that use Microsoft ASP.NET technology, a key part of the
* Can be managed with a browser-based interface from a remote workstation.
Windows
Windows
* Supports file and printer sharing.
* Offers secure Internet connectivity.
* Allows centralized desktop application deployment.
* Supports two-way symmetric multiprocessing and up to 4 gigabytes (GB) of memory.
Windows
Windows
* Is a full-function operating system that supports up to eight processors.
* Provides enterprise-class features such as eight-node clustering and up to 32 GB of memory.
* Is available for Intel® Itanium(TM)-based computers.
Windows
Windows
* Is the most powerful and functional server operating system Microsoft has ever offered.
* Supports up to 32-way symmetric multiprocessing.
* Products subject to change
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Benefits of Windows
Windows
Run your business on the most dependable server Windows
Windows
Build innovative business applications on a revolutionary development platform Windows
This level of easy application development encourages business process innovation and increases business opportunities both internally and externally.
Securely connect with your customers Windows
Windows
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XML Web Services
The Microsoft
The
With Windows
Other
* Deep integration of Microsoft
* Native support for SOAP-based XML message parsing in Microsoft Message Queueing (MSMQ).
* Integration of the COM+ component architecture with XML Web services through the
All of these technologies, running on the improved core Windows server infrastructure, form the foundation for the entire
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What's Next
Beta 3 is the last beta release in the Windows
Well, except for the minor details that the URL and email address on my post are both valid, and I've got a +1 bonus, I suppose you're right... off to do some goat fucking.
My Blog. Sela Ward can sell me long distanc
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submit story | your account | help/FAQ | contact | links | search | IRC | site news Penis Penis Penis Everything Penis Penis Diaries Penis Penis Technology Penis Penis Culture Penis Penis Freedom & Politics Penis Penis Media Penis Penis News Penis Penis Internet Penis Penis Op-Ed Penis Penis Columns Penis Penis Meta Penis Penis MLP Penis Penis We need your support: buy an ad | Penis premium membership Penis Advertisement Penis Sponsor: aqhost Penis AQHost.com - Affordable, Reliable, High Quality Web Hosting Penis Hosting on powerful servers with fast support, and a 30 day money back guarantee. Plans from $5.50/month, no setup fees! Penis comments? 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Penis Penis Our Bodies, Ourselves - The New War of Independence (Freedom & Politics) Penis Penis By Bora Horza Gobuchol Penis Sat Jul 13th, 2002 at 07:04:19 PM GMT Penis Penis Penis "Over himself, over his own body and mind, the individual is sovereign."- J.S.Mill Penis In several US states, gay-rights activists are working to overturn antiquated sodomy laws. In many countries, organizations like NORML are attempting to decriminalize marijuana. The news has been filled recently with families battling with the state (and each other) to preserve the dead in ways other than internment or cremation. Internationally, AIDS and cancer sufferers seek to fast-track experimental drug trials, offering themselves as human guinea pigs, while euthanasia activists attempt to legitimize assisted suicide. Neo-tribal devotees are changing society's attitudes to piercing, tattooing, and other forms of body modification simply by being publicly visible. Penis Penis Penis While very different in intention, all of these groups have one thing in common - they seek to claim the individual's rights of the body back from the state. Penis Penis Full Story (102 comments, 42 new, 1220 words in story) Penis Penis Living With Schizophrenia (Op-Ed) Penis Penis By Mickey Kantor Penis Sat Jul 13th, 2002 at 06:23:28 PM GMT Penis Penis Penis I think my mom just left us for good. She's been threatening all these years but I never really thought she'd make good on it. I'm typing this through tears and I hope it comes out semi-coherent. Penis Let me start at the beginning. My older brother was diagnosed with schizophrenia a few years ago. Very few people know what it is like to live with schizophrenia and since my mom just left I feel like I want to keep a record of what happened in my life. Everyone jokes about "oh so-and-so is a 'skitzo'" or "how skitzo is that thing." Yeah, if only they really knew. Penis Penis Full Story (81 comments, 72 new, 1668 words in story) Penis Penis How to Start Lifting Weights, Part 1 (Columns) Penis Penis By braeburn Penis Sat Jul 13th, 2002 at 02:17:59 AM GMT Penis Penis Penis I've been lifting weights in the gym (centering on what's traditionally called powerlifting) for about 2 1/2 years now. While that's Penis not very long in terms of a weightlifting career, I was taught from my very first workout how to properly lift by very experienced Penis people. In the years that I've been lifting, the same fact has struck me over and over again: very few people who frequent a gym Penis and seriously want to lift weights know the proper ways of doing so. While this might strike some as elitist, it's a serious concern Penis of mine: lifting improperly leads to injuries, sometimes serious ones, and spreads misinformation about the sport. Also, recently Penis I've seen a lot of discussion at a lot of sites about the growing waistline of the average American, and in the spirit of other Penis K5 content such as the Fat Bloke's Guide to Becoming Less Fat, I Penis thought there might be some interest in an article about lifting, and how to get started doing it properly. Penis Penis Full Story (106 comments, 71 new, 3213 words in story) Penis Penis Superman vs Batman. Investigating the All American Hero (Culture) Penis Penis By Rogerborg Penis Fri Jul 12th, 2002 at 07:02:23 PM GMT Penis Penis Penis As the momentum behind a Superman vs Batman movie grows, let's take a moment to consider the most All American of our costumed Heroes. Penis Full Story (98 comments, 5 new, 1071 words in story) Penis Penis Is It Time for Drug Policy Reform in the US? (Op-Ed) Penis Penis By kwertii Penis Thu Jul 11th, 2002 at 09:55:41 PM GMT Penis Penis Penis The time has come for the United States to shed its antiquated and Penis puritanical drug laws. Regardless of one's own personal preference Penis regarding Penis the use of intoxicating substances, at the most fundamental level, Penis what right does Penis the government have to tell an adult which chemicals they may put into Penis their own body? Penis Certainly, engaging in Penis activities such as driving a car or operating machinery while Penis intoxicated endanger others and should not be permissible. In the Penis privacy of one's own home, however, how does the government have the right to determine which substances may be consumend, and which may not? Penis Penis Full Story (344 comments, 123 new, 1443 words in story) Penis Penis Go: Life Itself (Culture) Penis Penis By GoStone Penis Thu Jul 11th, 2002 at 02:36:19 PM GMT Penis Penis Penis Saying 'just one game' Penis they began to play... Penis That was yesterday Penis Japanese senryu poem Penis There is one board game that stands above all others. The most beautiful, most ancient, most strategic, most subtle. The king of games. A game which teaches as much as it entertains, whose enthusiasts number tens of millions and which has often been compared to life itself. Penis Full Story (283 comments, 266 new, 4987 words in story) Penis Penis The Mile High Gun Club (Op-Ed) Penis Penis By thelizman Penis Thu Jul 11th, 2002 at 06:25:31 AM GMT Penis Penis Penis Minutes ago, the US House of Representatives passed a bill by a margin of 197 votes that would allow volunteer pilots who undergo firearms training to carry firearms with them when they perform their piloting duties. Penis Penis Full Story (236 comments, 184 new, 1080 words in story) Penis Penis TCPA and Palladium: Sony Inside (Media) Penis Penis By adamba Penis Wed Jul 10th, 2002 at 01:46:44 AM GMT Penis Penis Penis The recent publicity about the Penis Trusted Computing Platform Alliance (TCPA) and Microsoft's Palladium security initiative have portrayed them as Microsoft's latest weapon against the software industry. Penis Penis This is incorrect. What they really represent are Hollywood's latest weapon against the personal computing industry. Penis Penis Penis Full Story (168 comments, 139 new, 3107 words in story) Penis Penis A Call for Opinions: The Future of the Super Tall Building (Op-Ed) Penis Penis By Jim Tour Penis Tue Jul 9th, 2002 at 02:00:56 PM GMT Penis Penis Penis The purpose of this article is to elicit opinions from the K5 community Penis on a question now under extremely active debate in architectural, Penis engineering and governmental circles: should American cities discontinue Penis all new construction of, and abandon all plans for, super tall buildings? The most insightful comments Penis will be repackaged (assuming your permission) and sent to public and private entities now wrestling with this question. Penis Penis Full Story (226 comments, 187 new, 2900 words in story) Penis Penis Gnutella Developer Gene Kan Dies (News) Penis Penis By Eloquence Penis Tue Jul 9th, 2002 at 05:27:20 AM GMT Penis Penis Penis According to CNET, Gnutella developer and evangelist Gene Kan (25) has passed away on June 29th. Gene Kan and others started the original Gnutella portal, gnutella.wego.com, which was essential for helping people hook up to the network. Gene was also a founder of InfraSearch.com, an attempt to use decentralized technology for querying databases. InfraSearch was endorsed by Mosaic/Netscape co-creator Marc Andreessen. InfraSearch later became a part of Sun's JXTA project. Penis Penis Gene Kan's friend Yaroslav Faybishenko has written a few words about Gene's death. 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At the same time (in the late 80s) Bell Labs made an Operating System called /;p;};}' %" to read
...thanks to the new system, 11 out of the first 12 comments appear to be trolls (mostly AC). Great work, /. Now I don't have to lower my threshold to be entertained! [ Reply to This | Parent ] [BAS] Impressive!! (Score:-1, Troll) /. but what is debian? Is it like ssh and apache?
:) [ Reply to This | Parent ]
;).
UNIX, a copy off of MS-DOS only without the UI. In Unix, you had to type commands
your e-mail or "find . | awk -F/ '{for (x=1;xNF;x++) { printf "\t"}; print
$NF}'" to make a new document for word processing. Over 10 years later and they
still don't have the industry standard GUI (Good User Interface).
You may be wondering where Linux comes in. Linux is based on Unix, only 10 years
later. It was started in 1996, when cracker (computer criminal) Linus Torvalds
decided to create a free clone of the obsolete operating system. Obviously
rebelliously (and questionably illegally) he created this clone with help of
other hackers. After 6 years, it finally has a UI (though not a GUI) and runs on
most x86 processors available (except Pentium 4).
Meanwhile, Microsoft has done nothing but innovate. Over the past few years,
their GUI is the most acclaimed. Don't believe me? Just ask Linus. He was
recently quoted in IT Professionals Today Magazine as saying "Linux may not be
as stable, secure, or easy to use as Windows, but I'm going to try my hardest."
So who are you going to stick with? The hunter or the hunted? It may be fun to
root for the underdog at sporting events like the SuperBowl, but when it comes to
your business, your family, and your money, who are you rooting for? Are you
going to root for the fly-by-night operating systems or the ones that will fly
and take you where you want to go today? [ Reply to This | Parent ] Headline of story should read... (Score:-1, Troll)
by Anonymous Coward on Saturday July 13, @08:01PM (#3879218) "Interview with someone that 99.9% of the Earth's population has never heard of."
Thanks, bye. [ Reply to This | Parent ]
* Re:Headline of story should read... Saturday July 13, @08:03PM
o Re:Headline of story should read... by Anonymous Coward (Score:-1) Saturday July 13, @08:12PM
o Re:Headline of story should read... by Anonymous Coward (Score:-1) Saturday July 13, @08:38PM
SUVs are for fags (Score:-1, Troll)
by Anonymous Coward on Saturday July 13, @08:02PM (#3879221) don't vote for gray davis
SUVs are for fags
[ Reply to This | Parent ] OT: I would just like to point out that... (Score:-1, Troll)
by Anonymous Coward on Saturday July 13, @08:02PM (#3879223)
by Anonymous Coward on Saturday July 13, @08:03PM (#3879226) 100% noise, 0% signal. The ed's fucked up... [ Reply to This | Parent ] What's debian? (Score:-1, Troll)
by Anonymous Coward on Saturday July 13, @08:04PM (#3879228) Hi. I heard lots of stories about security bugs in debian on
I'm an intelligent apple user, how would u define Debian to me? [ Reply to This | Parent ]
* Re:What's debian? by Anonymous Coward (Score:-1) Saturday July 13, @08:20PM
o Re:What's debian? Saturday July 13, @09:14PM
Desktop or Server (Score:3, Insightful)
by xannik on Saturday July 13, @08:04PM (#3879230)
(User #534808 Info | http://www.xannik.com/) I would be interested for slashdot to host and interview with Ian. As a user of gentoo linux I have experienced much of the power of a ports based system with its portage package management system, which has close ties to Debian's very own apt-get and dpkg. Debian seems very focused on a stable kernel, even more so than any other distribution I know of. Would it not serve Debian to focus more on the Server side of things and leave the desktop to the propeller heads, Gentoo that is.
* Re:Desktop or Server by reaper20 (Score:2) Saturday July 13, @08:12PM
o Re:Desktop or Server Saturday July 13, @08:24PM
* Re:Desktop or Server by Anonymous Coward (Score:-1) Saturday July 13, @09:33PM
* Re:Desktop or Server by jsse (Score:3) Sunday July 14, @02:15AM
[on by] Trollbusters! (Score:-1, Troll)
by Anonymous Coward on Saturday July 13, @08:06PM (#3879237) If there's somethin' strange and you can't get wood
Who ya gonna call (goatsebusters! [goatse.cx])
If its asshole's wide an' it won't look good
Who ya gonna call? (goatsebusters! [goatse.cx])
I ain't afraid a no goatse
I ain't afraid a no goatse
If you're seein' Rob sucking on some head
Who can you call? (goatsebusters! [goatse.cx])
An' anus stretched man sleepin' in your bed
Oh who ya gonna call? (goatsebusters! [goatse.cx])
I ain't afraid a no goatse
I ain't afraid a no goatse
Who ya gonna call? (goatsebusters! [goatse.cx])
If you're all alone playing with your bone
Just call (goatsebusters! [goatse.cx])
I ain't afraid a no goatse
I hear it likes the cock
I ain't afraid a no goatse
Who you gonna call? (goatsebusters! [goatse.cx])
Mm...if you've had a dose
Of a freaky goatse anus
You better call goatsebusters! [goatse.cx]
Fistin' makes me feel good
I ain't afraid a no goatses
Don't get caught alone oh no...goatsebuster
When he cums on your floor
Unless you've just got some more
I think you better call goatsebusters! [goatse.cx]
Ooh... who you gonna call? (goatsebusters! [goatse.cx])
Who you gonna call? (goatsebusters! [goatse.cx])
Ah, I think you better call (goatsebusters! [goatse.cx])
I can't hear you...(goatsebusters! [goatse.cx])
Who you gonna call? (goatsebusters! [goatse.cx])
Louder goatsebusters! [goatse.cx]
Who you gonna call? (goatsebusters! [goatse.cx])
Who you can call goatsebusters! [goatse.cx]...(till fade)
[ Reply to This | Parent ] My experiences in the missionary position (Score:-1, Troll)
by rasactive (hslice52@myac[ ]et ['c.n' in gap]) on Saturday July 13, @08:08PM (#3879240)
(User #528598 Info | http://www.dms100.org/worksucks) Hello Slashdot:
How are things in the civilized world? You probably don't know who I am. That's
okay. I'm here to inform you of my mission, what I've found, and what I hope to
teach all of you.
I work for the United Christians Food for Poor Kids Foundation, and let me tell
you, there's a lot of poor kids in Afghanistan. As in most countries in the
Middle East, most people are unemployed, and therefore poor. And where there's a
lot of poor people, UCFPKF is needed.
UCFPKF always has the latest in technology. In this instance, we had access to
some Pentium 4's(r) 2GHz. Obviously, we needed an operating system that could
handle the power of Intel's beast. Unfortunately, we didn't have any computer
experts on hand up to the task, so it was going to be trial and error.
We'd heard good things about Linux and its "ACL's". Little did we know of its
incompatibility with modern hardware. It didn't even support Token Ring
networking, the newest form of Ethernet(r), which we require to always keep
in contact between bases. Also, it didn't seem to use SSE optimizations, which
when processing food amounts, are also very important. Also, there were
homo-erotic implications in the structure of Linux, which is strictly
unallowable in a Christian organization such as ours,
The next obvious step was to install Windows. We hesitated because we knew that
it was common knowledge that Windows crashed incessantly. Our experience was
less than stellar. It also didn't support Token Ring networking. Security is
important in this region because many people try to steal food, but "Windows
2000" (which I hear didn't even come out in 2000) doesn't even allow you to
have seperate permissions. Once again, the SSE optimizations were not used.
I was in a situation that seemed impossible. The two most famous operating
systems had failed me. I walked around the base in a dazed stupor. What was I
going to do for our ultra-important network? A boy saw me pouting and sighing,
and asked me what was wrong. I said nothing, but we exchanged names, and little
did I know, that young Junis had a gift for computers.
Junis saw me the next day, slaving away at the sparse terminal that "Windows
2000" makes you type in. He asked what I was doing with that primitive OS. I
laughed and told him that I was doing inventory. He ran to his village, into his
hut, and pulled out a box I had never seen before. The box said "SCO Xenix" the
front. I had never seen or heard of this Xenix before. But I soon learned that
Junis was a computer genius.
All we had to do was put the Xenix CD into the computer, and everything worked
like magic (not the devil's magic... good magic:) ). Our Token Ring network
integrated flawlessly with it. And it even used SSE optimizations. Well, me and
Junis are now on a new mission. We're spreading the word. It might not be the
word of the lord, but then again, maybe it is
SCO Xenix: The Unix of Tomorrow.
Janet Milman
Network Administrator, UCFPKF
Afghanistan base
One of the greatest underutilized resources our country has today is the huge
population of terminally ill adults. Of course, it must be horrifying to be
diagnosed with a terminal disease, but in an odd way it also confers upon the
patient a certain degree of freedom. For example, if such a patient has
previously been shafted by a car dealer in town, he now has the option of
leasing a sunroofed luxury sedan from them in June, driving it for two
months without making a single payment, then parking it on a 100 degree
day in August, having dumped 15 or 20 bushel baskets of hog intestines in
thru the sun roof - have a nice day Mr. Dealer ! Or what about the ultimate
"take this job and shove it" statement, the fantasy of every downtrodden
worker in America - taking a huge shit on the bosses desk. Imagine your
queasy boss having to call the Negro janitor in to clean it up ( "NO, its NOT
my shit Leroy, just clean it up, damnit !" ). Yes, such a diagnosis is the
passport to all kinds of fun and mayhem, but a serious problem still remains -
the long term well being of the terminally ill patient's loved ones. This is
where the Kranz Make A Wish Foundation comes in...
Certain foreign countries have long ago perfected the role of suicide
missions - Omsala Bin Laden, fearing the Islamic world is about to be
overrun by McDonalds and the Cindy Margolis Show, dispatches a couple of
the faithful to bomb a U.S. destroyer; or the Hezbollah, bored by the Florida
recount process, decide to suicide-bomb a commuter bus in downtown Tel
Aviv. Why has the U.S. lagged so far behind in this game ? The goal of the
Kranz Make A Wish Foundation is, in a nutshell, to facilitate the process by
matching terminally ill patients with an entry on a list of people that
desperately need killing. The specifics are as follows:
An internet site is set up with a descriptive home page. Each following page
describes a target, thedesired method of death, and the current bid amount.
There are two buttons on each page, "I Accept" and "I Pledge". The latter
button lets anyone contribute via the usual online credit card process to the
total pool for this target. The first button is more serious - anyone who
presses it is prompted for a barrage of information including 1) nature of
illness 2) treating physician 3) executor of estate 4) home phone,etc. This
information is verified and a face to face meet set up where an offshore bank
account is set up with the appropriate procedures in place for the executor. If
the target is executed according to web page instructions the executor is
contacted to begin the transfer of wealth to the next of kin. The beauty of
this plan is that its centered in a murder-friendly foreign country like
Panama or Red China. Even the web site would be hosted off shore. To
quote Al Gore, "There is no controlling legal authority !". The terminally ill
patient would be given any necessary training ( small arms, explosives,
whatever ) and a painless overdose of heroin to be used after the mission is
completed, in the event that he/she does not perish with the target.
What would a sample target page look like ? Well, a few examples come to
mind...
If the patient has ( or perhaps had ) relatives in Waco, Texas, he might get a
chuckle out of this one. Janet Reno is abducted and brought to the top of
one of those endless Washington DC federal building stairways ( you know,
one of those with zillions of four inch high and 18 inch deep steps that go
nowhere in a hurry ). There she is duct taped to a wheelchair, soaked in
gasoline, set ablaze then given a gentle push down the stairs. The bumpy and
jerky ride down to the bottom would be quite comical, and might, if taped,
even qualify for America's Funniest Home Videos.
Law abiding gun owners in New York State who are sick of Chuck
Schumer's Nazi antics to disarm them will appreciate Chuck's potential
demise. He is abducted, dressed in women's underwear, and handcuffed to a
stop sign in the South Bronx late one night. A hand lettered sign that reads
"Parole Officer" is tied around his neck. The body is discovered next morning
bleeding profusely from the rectum with several hundred bullet holes in his
head and torso. A fitting end to one of the great rectal leeches of current
political life. Automobile enthusiasts might appreciate Ralph Nader's page.
This script calls for a restored 65 Chevy Corvair to be driven to the Palisades
Cliffs just north of the GW bridge on the Jersey side. There a handcuffed
Nader is put in the driver's seat. The steering wheel is tied to straight ahead,
the throttle blocked wide open, then the transmission shifted into
drive...watch out Ralph, unsafe at any speed ! Easier hits include: Domino's
Pizza delivery man with 5 lbs plastic explosive taped to his chest knocks on
Bill Clinton's NYC office door; cross dressing Barbara Streisand look alike
with 5 lbs plastic explosive in his bra knocks on Hillary's Washington DC
home front door - er actually this might also work for Bill.
Anyhow, you get the general idea. So remember sports fans, when you see
the site, be ge