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Suddenly a JPEG Patent and Licensing Fee
Michael Long writes "Forgent Networks (www.forgentnetworks.com) has announced that it owns the software patent on JPEG compression technology, and has stated that it is "in contact" with computer, software, camera, and other digital imaging product manufacturers regarding licensing terms. This ambush of the digitial imaging industry will probably stand as the worst public relations nightmare a company can inflict upon itself."
... I don't think I can afford to have a lien on my porn collection.
Look at all the money the .gif royalties made Compuserve...
- Call them repeatedly at 866/276-FORG (3674) asking if their refrigerator is running.
- Pound www.forgentnetworks.com in the ass repeatedly with any scripts you kiddies might be tempted to use.
Do:- Have them check out that Goatse guy for his espressive use of "their" technologies.
Thank you for your support.NetInfo connection failed for server 127.0.0.1/local
Now is the perfect time for us to consider widespread adoption of Zeosync's miraculous 100-to-1 compression technology.
Do you even lift?
These aren't the 'roids you're looking for.
Man, what I wouldn't give to be a fly on the wall in the meeting where these yahoo's go into Redmond and tell Microsoft they owe them a royalty for every version of IE, Office, and any other program that can read JPG's. They'll be lucky if Ballmer doesn't have their company bought or sued into the ground by the time they get their parking validated.
I bet that number would raise sharply if he looked in his IE cache. Heh
(* I don't think I can afford to have a lien on my porn collection. *)
Send it all back to Forgent. Email a few to each employee.
(begin letter)
Dear Forgent Employee,
Attached is some of my porn collection. I am returning it to your company because I inadvertantly used your patented JPEG format.
The rest is still to follow. My printer is slow. Playmate Debby especially requires a lot of ink because of her unorthodox techniques and tools, as you can clearly see in image #4057.
Thank You for your patience and understanding,
[Slashdot User]"
(end letter)
Table-ized A.I.
The press release has many GIF images on it. I wonder if they paid UniSys any royalties?
My future's determined by Thieves, thugs, and vermin -- The Offspring
In other news, God has announced that he owns the earth, in fact he goes as far as to claim ownage of the whole universe. So in addition to worshipping him day and night, we're also required to pay him a licensing fee.
That's quite true; one should make tea with boiling water, unless it is Chinese tea in which case one makes it with water around 180 degrees F. However, one does not serve it to one's guests at that temperature, since it loses some heat while steeping or brewing. One never leaves tea or coffee on a heater for hours, maintaining its temperature at 180 F until the moment of service; the subtle aromatics of either beverage will quickly evaporate, leaving a soulless and bitter brew.
Moreover, in proper society one does not serve tea or coffee in heat-insulating styrofoam cups. One serves both in china, which does retain heat but not quite as well as styrofoam. (It is because china takes on and dissipates some of the heat that teacups have handles whereas foam cups do not.)
One also serves coffee at table in an open cup, so one's guest can add milk or other adulterants. One does not expect one's guest to remove a tightly fitting lid first, nor to perform said operation without the stability and protection of a table. Presenting such a puzzle to one's guest -- especially a puzzle loaded with the gory surprise of a near-boiling liquid within, ready to scald the loser in this hideous parlor-game -- is beyond the pale of hospitality.
Thus, the standards of proper society for the preparation and serving of tea and coffee do not form a defense for McDonald's in this case.
Not all lawyers are "evil". It's that 99% of lawyers that ruin it for the other 1%.
cpeterso
...it'd be fairly easy to demonstrate prior use on all three of these patents.
/. but there's a ton of prior use there, too. Oh, well, I guess I gotta keep working.
In the same vein, I was going to patent making claims about patents on
Or, hey, how about a patent on claiming prior use exemptions on a patent? Wouldn't this allow a corporation to patent anything and make money on either side of the patent fight? Oh, shit, now I've done it...
Virg