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Pedal Powered Wireless Networked Computer?
Friends of Jhai asks: "An NGO called Jhai Foundation, which is building Internet learning Centers in Laos has enlisted Computer Hall-of-Famer Lee Felsenstein to build a cheap, locally assembled, wirlelessly networked PC and communications system. The current details of the machine are here and the application is here. They are looking for similar systems under way that they might work with or which might be ready for deployment. Anyone have any URL's we can check out?" Great! Now you can get your computing and exercising done at the same time! What other types of technology have people managed to adapt to man-power as opposed to boring ol' AC outlets?
.. just to pedal fast enough to get up to 55 FPS in quake3
Live web cams
http://www.pedalpower.org [pedalpower.org], see Projects->Maya pedal
When I wack off at Digital Teenz I produce enough power to power my house and even sell some back to the electric company. So remember, for all your jerking off needs check out the high quality stuff at Digital Teenz
So, um, I just got done masturbating, it was one of those web-masturbations, when you don't think that you're going to jack off at all, you're just going to look at some pictures, just for a couple of minutes, and then you'll go back to whatever the hell it was you were supposed to be doing, but of course, you end up unzipping your pants, taking your cock in hand, and going for it, hoping no one will walk in and catch you. This is the picture I was masturbating to, actually. Does that girl have a perfect ass or what?
And it's funny that I would be masturbating tonight, since I actually came already, just a few hours ago, by Topanga's mouth. Yeah, I ended up shooting another video with Topanga. It was the fake cum shoot that I was talking about in my last entry. . . the one I've been promising my client that I'd take care of for about a month now. I was having a lot of trouble finding a woman for the shoot, and so eventually I had to use Topanga again. Not that I really minded working with her again. She's a nice girl and pretty attractive, too. But it's almost like masturbating to a video or magazine that you've already looked at - it's just not as fun as the first time.
Pretty sad that I'm looking at this girl as masturbation material. However, that's exactly what she will be to the viewers who'll see her. . . so it's almost appropriate, in a way. This wasn't the first time that I've ever worked with someone twice - I shot two films with Megan, shot a film with Janay and then ended up wrestling her in another guy's video - which reminds me of a little story which I'll get to in the next paragraph - and like the others, there's a certain trade-off. You're more comfortable and familiar with people you've worked with before, and therefore can go a little deeper, but there's a certain charge, a certain intensity of interest, that happens when two new people meet - and that true to not only the director-actor bond but the actor-actor bond as well. There's a certain heat to two strangers fucking (at least there is in theory). I don't know if you've ever seen amateur videos that feature husband and wife going at it, or boyfriend/girlfriend, but nine times out of ten it'll make you wipe your lubed-up hand on your thigh and reach for the remote control.
So here's my li'l story: I finally got ahold of a copy of this tape that I was in about a year ago, in San Francisco - a video called Bitch Brawl Wrestling by Duck Dumont, of Redboard. It was a wrestling tape, a fetish wrestling tape. The theme of this video was female-domination, and what happened was, I wrestled two ladies (one of them was Janay) and sort of let them beat up on me. With Janay, I ended up losing so badly that she decided she was going to make me her bitch, and she brought out this strap-on dildo and made me suck it for a couple of minutes. When I originally made the video, about a year ago, I was pretty psyched- I was hungry for experience, (like I am now), and I had done something concrete and undeniably different that I could point to - a milestone, of sorts, me being brand-new to the porn world. I wasn't used to getting videotaped being bodyslammed inside of a boxing ring, getting cockwhipped by a beautiful blonde weirdo, and I loved that I (me! Little Jew Me!) was finally starting to have an Interesting and Unique Life!
But I'm ashamed to admit that when I started watching the video, here in L.A., (after being unsuspectedly jointed by Sergio, who, despite his generosity, had to be removed from my studio, since I got quickly became too self-conscious), I wasn't looking at how the video was shot (which, incidentally, was pretty good - ol' Duck's not too bad behind the camera), or how our convincing our playacting was, but rather, how good my body looked. And it didn't look good to me. I don't know if I hadn't started going to the beach by that time last year or what, but I looked pasty white. And the fact that I had given up going to the gym in favor of yoga didn't serve me well, either. I looked fat, childish, without muscle definition. And I have to say that bothered me!
And that bothers me, that it bothers me.
But at the same time, I don't want to get all intellectual and say, well, I shouldn't care about appearance, because that's not what sexiness is all about - I kind of just want to get my body in shape and be hot! Because in a way, that's what porn is all about - you got to work towards this perfect body thing. Yeah, it's not the healthiest thing in the world, I know. But if I'm going to show my naked body on film, I want to at least be putting forth something . . . good. Also, I've had periods where my body is really good. I like being in that space, to be honest. I get kind of confident and feel sexy. There are a lot of things about being young that are profoundly unsexy, I think, but body tone is not one of them. You can have a really hot ass, as a youngster.
And I need to start feeling sexy, because I need to start getting laid a little bit more often. This porn sex is not a good substitute for the real thing ( and it's not like I'm fucking a lot for my videos - I've just gotten head twice in the last three months, both times from good ol' Texas Topanga). I'm in sort of a bind because I wouldn't expect any real girl to have a relationship with me, if I expect to be slipping off for random on-camera sexual experiences every now and then, but the sexual experiences on camera, when they come, are just sort of lame. I mean, Topanga gives good head. And she's very sexy (she's got that kind of ass that black men dream about). But, I mean. . . what is it? There was no seduction. . no rolling around on a couch, making out. . . no dry-fucking and me slipping my fingers under her panties into her wet pussy. . . god, I need some sex! I thought I was getting into this biz so I could have a lot of sex! But I'm just as dry as my friend who works in a law firm! No! I'm drier! He just had sex with his old girlfriend! I don't even have the luxury of that, being as I'm new to the LA area. I was very horny , this afternoon, actually, and was thinking of who I could bootycall. Answer: absolutely no one. Yeah, I have some numbers of some girls. But they all would cost me about four hundred bucks.
Money. The end of the month is coming up - a week remains, as you know. . and I'm short a bunch of cash. The last couple of months the same situation presented itself, and both times I've squeaked by, so I'm hoping that the same thing will happen this time. I actually turned down a gig, which is something that I never dreamed I would do. But check this out: it was a job editing Max Hardcore movies. Now, there are a lot of things that I will do for money. I will pose nude for a gay internet site. I will sell ceramic costume horns on the side of the street. I will pick miserable tomatoes all day in the pouring rain, I will serve rich fucks triple decaf espressos, I will dance to shitty house music in my underwear in a fag bar. But I will not edit a Max Hardcore movie.
Now, to make things perfectly clear, it wasn't Max who asked me, it was a woman (Kelly Holland) who runs an editing/production house. She had just fired an editor and received a serendipitously-timed email from li'l ol me, and I was doing my ol' I-think-you're-a-wonderful-producer-there-needs-to -be-more-women-in-positions-of-power-in-this-indus try-by-the-way-could-I-have-some-work
shtick. So she ended up asking me if I had ever edited an adult feature before,
and I said yes, of course, and then she said Besides your own stuff.
And I answered, my bubble burst just a tad, no, not really, and so she said
Well, would you like to? And I said, Yeah, that'd be great.
Then she let me in that it was Max. I don't know if you guys out there know
who Max is. Probably some of you do. Well, the guy is pretty insane. I'm not
going out on a very extended limb when I say he's kind of a rapist. He doesn't
do good things to the girls he works with. He does bad things, I think it's
safe to say. He sticks handfuls of pens in their pussies and makes them write
cunt on a piece of paper. He fucks them in the asses and then
jams his gross, shaven white, Viagra-hard fifty year old cock straight into
their mouths. He calls the girls Cunt Slut Fuckhole
and Cocksocket. He turns them upside down (in what is known as
the piledriver), cums in their asses and makes them suck the cum
out with a straw. And I may sink pretty low in my profession of choice, but
I can't go that low and still be able to look myself in the face when I shave
or when I go to the gym (there are mirrors all over the gym and I fucking
look at myself like ten thousand times each time I go there. I wish there
were less mirrors there.)
So I told Kelly no. I hope I didn't fuck myself; I hope I get some other kind of job with her company. Thing is, I know I made the right choice, and it has nothing to do with ethical grounds: I just know that I couldn't watch this guy's antics for ten hours a day, five days in a row. I would go insane. On the other hand, though, I will admit that I have masturbated, more than one time, to a Hardcore tape. I'm ashamed, but he picks young girls. That's what I'm into, to be honest. I don't like the degradation that he's into, but I do like those young asses.Oh, the shame, the shame of it. Yes, I go to Katie's-world.com. Yes, I go to TeenPlanet.
So what else? I'm teaching Final Cut Pro tomorrow to a ex-stripper. I started reading The Great Shark Hunt by Hunter S. Thompson - surprisingly good. I went to a garage sale on the way to the studio that yielded some good cassettes - Parliament Mothership Connection , The Best of Barry White, Run-DMC Profile, some Kool Moe Dee tape. (The seller, like me, was a whitey.) And it's still spring here, outrageously gorgeous, blooming despite the smog.
http://www.pedalpower.org, see Projects->Maya Pedal
The link provided shows these energy drains:
Computer: 5.5 Watts
Display 13 Watts
Printer (idle) 12 Watts (with inverter)
Printer (printing) 48Watts (with inverter)
Now, is this just a typo, or does a printer standing idly by truly drain twice the power consumed by the operating computer.
I'm guessing the former. I looked quickly for a link webmaster of the site but in my minute of searching found nothing.
Well whattya know. . . I got some work . . thank god. . . The Erotic Network called me and asked me to do Behind the Scenes for Jewel DeNyle's Sluts of the Nyle 5. So of course, I did. That was today.
I'd have to say it was kinda fun. Not real fun, but kind of. I like working, whatever it is. I do have to say that I'm getting bored shooting sex, though. It gets old, and sort of disgusting, to watch a dick going in and out of a pussy, or a mouth, for hours and hours and hours. Also it smells in the room. And I don't want to be racist or anything, but both of the studs that performed today were black - the two biggest (and I do mean biggest) black guys in the business, Mr. Marcus and Lexington Steele - and there's a certain smell that black people have. God that sounds racist. But it's true. I'm not saying it's bad. It actually reminds me of when I was in kindergarten and we used to take naps and I would nap next to Coy Morrow or Damon Council. It's just a certain smell, okay? And combined with the sex smell . . . well . . . I just maybe want to smell some other smells for a while, okay?
The concept of director in porn kind of trips me out. . . I mean, this film was, in name at least, directed by Jewel DeNyle, who is a young girl who has been in the industry for about three years, and has lately started doing her own line for Jill Kelly Productions. But that director title is just a joke. . . there is such a formula for how a porn film is done - get ten minutes of this position, eight of that, let's get the softcore pussylicking, now move your head sweetie, let's get the hard version, flip her over, let's do doggie, all right make spoons until the FIP (remember what a FIP is?) and then five minutes of hardcore A and then let's fuck to the pop. . . it's basically the same, with some minute variations, for every scene (at least in mainstream hetero porn). And this movie doesn't even have any dialogue - so there ain't really that much directing . And in addition, the decisions that do have to be made, are made by the DP (who, in porn, is also the camera operator). The DP today confided in me, I've shot about 3000 scenes - and directed about 2900 of them. Meaning, despite his lack of a director's credit, he's the one that tells the actors when to switch positions, where to move, and decides when to go in close with the camera, when to pause for the stills. It's funny to me. I guess that it struck me especially because I've thought of the director's position as something I'd like to work towards. . . but now I'm starting to realize that I'll never make a film for any of these mainstream porn companies, because all they truly want is the familiar formula crap.
Mr. Marcus impressed me, not just because he fucked Jewel well, which he did (and I'm not talking about just pounding her- he actually fucked her well, sensually and sexily, calling out at one point as he fucked her deep in her ass, This is the shit! and jealously I believed him) but also because he was cool. I have this thing for cool people. Despite how annoying Sergio and Tom can be (those are the guys that I basically live with - Sergio as my studio-neighbor, Tom as my housemate), both are actually kind of cool and for that I find myself liking them. As a kid, I was never that cool , but my two best friends, Jarret Levine and Josh Lefkowitz, were each probably the coolest kids in their respective schools. I'm just attracted to it (coolness). And what is it? Hard to define. Charisma, maybe. Good taste. An ease in carrying the body. Unquestioning confidence. Not an overabundance of self-reflection (in other words, not neurotic). Good looks are often part of the package but they're not everything. Being black can help.
Mr. Marcus was telling me in the interview how he seduces women ( I was interested.)
You get a lot of free pussy that you don't have to work for on the sets, I said. Do you fuck a lot in your real life?
Oh hell yeah. Think about it. Right here, I'm here for what, two hours? That gives me 22 other hours in the day. And believe me, I'm fucking.
So how do you do it? How do you get the ladies?
First thing I do, is I sniff 'em. And I don't be like a dog, sniffin' em like snsnsnsnsnff . . . More like, smell 'em, real gentle. Then I look in their eyes . . . what I do is, I use the power of suggestion. Don't go out and ask for the pussy. You don't never ask for the pussy till you up in it. Remember that. The power of suggestion.
He has an advantage over the rest of us, though, in that he has an office right next door to World Modeling (Jim South's famous agency that all the girls just getting into the business go through). It's possible that they're easier to suggest things to.
I enjoyed him. He has a website that has plenty of pictures of him and the women that he fucks. Maybe you should look at it. He also has some of his poetry on his site. He wrote this:
Creativity they say comes from a moderate intelligence, if they are too intelligent they would never find a reason or need to create. I come from a moderate intelligence.
I have a need to create, if sexually then so be it.
Not like that's fucking profound or anything but I did think it was interesting.The more intelligent you are, the less the need to create? Actually I'm sort of of the opinion that the more intelligent you are, the better you're going to be at creativity, but maybe that's not what he's saying.
I'm feeling my own intelligence slide lately. I think it's just in the last couple of days. I feel myself falling into what Frank Zappa has deemed The Killer Fog, which means my thinking is cloudy. Part of it may be that I got mucho wasted on Saturday night. It was an excellent night, actually. I had just learned that I got this BTS gig for Monday so I was in a good mood and less worried about certain fiscal responsibilities. But what really made it a great night was that I met this girl Pilar (re-met her actually, she had gone to Brown with me but I hadn't seen her out here in LA) and she is fucking AWESOME . . . . I don't wanta say too much ( I told her about the website and there's always the possibility that she might read my journal) but to be honest I'm sort of excited.
Speaking of reading my journal: on Sunday I called up my sister (she's 28 and goes to grad school, in psychology, in New York City). She confessed that she's been reading my entries. That one kind of took me by surprise, since I've been very open in these entries and didn't really think about a member of my family reading them (my parents, to the best of my knowledge, don't know about this site, yet). After mulling it over for a while, I've actually decided that it's good. Or, if not good, then at least fine. I haven't been that open with my sister when it comes to my personal life, but I wanted to be. Are any of you like that with your brothers or sisters? You just have a certain type of relationship that has barriers in it? There's no good reason for it but that's just the way things are - so that's the way things continue to be. I see her reading my journal as a way to break the cycle of non-communication that we've been following. So that's good.
In fact, I invited her to write something on my site about how she feels about me making porn (at one point she was one of the most fervent feminists in the Carolinas, making Naomi Wolf look like Laura Bush, but in the more recent years has calmed down). Let's see if she does.
It looks like I am going to take part in the Good Vibrations porn after all. I got an email from the director telling me that she wants me in the movie. They're shooting on the 20th of the month in Chico (Chico?) and hopefully I will be financially stable enough to make it up there. When I'm there, I'll be able to pitch my idea for a movie to the producer - and this is a production company that I want to be a director for. I have a good feeling that they're not going to go for the same fuck in three positions/moan about how good your pussy feels with that big black dick inside of it/come all over girl's eyebrows formula that has been boring me as of late.
Strange things are afoot in East L.A .
. . I'm taking over the lease on my studio from Alan (he has been renting
both storefronts, 226 Glendale and 224, and in turn renting me a space in
224, but now he wants me to take over all of 224 so he doesn't have to worry
about raising the money for both places.) I'm into the idea, but it does mean
that I'm going to have find someone to share the space with me. So if you're
in LA and you're a video or graphic artist and you want to share a storefront
for $250 a month, then emai me.
And we've decided to get evicted from our place in Silverlake, because we don't want to pay the rent this month. Tom and I are hoping that our landlord will let us stay there rent-free for a couple of months until we find a new place. He mentioned something akin to that last month when, after being twenty or so days late with the rent, he requested that we leave. See, if we leave, he'll be able to raise the rent about five hundred dollars a month (since Tom has lived there for six years , during which time the place was rent-controlled). Silverlake has gotten hot (did you hear Aaron Spelling is planning on setting his new show in Silverlake? There goes the neighborhood. . .)We'll see what actually happens. Tom is saying that
we should find a new place together, with his man Kevin. Let's see what actually
happens.
I leave you with this quotation from Donald Barthelme's Daumier:
The trouble with you is that you are an idiot, Gibbon said. You lack a sense of personal worthlessness. A sense of personal worthlessness is the motor that drives the overachiever to his splendid overachievements that we all honor and revere.
You just know the Professor would invent one of these... and possibly some sort of internet connection for it. Maybe then they could download information on fixing their boat, and email people to tell them they were alive.
Friday, July27th, 2001
A few days ago, I got a phone call from a woman friend of mine - let's call her Caroline - who's a stripper, a part-time porn actress, and an on-again-off-again prostitute. Although I've never met Caroline in person, we've spoken about ten times in the year that we've known each other. Usually when we talk, we end up having phone sex (which she always initiates). Sometimes the conversations are memorable, and so, often when she calls, I start up my li'l surreptious lo-fi tape recorder (I'm a bad boy, I know) and record the whole thing. For art's sake.
This time, when she called, I had something new to ask her about (and if you guys have been keeping up with my journal then you'll probably be able to guess what it was about). Yes, it was time for the ol' lady (she's 26) to school the wavering kid on the pros and cons of being a pro. It turned out that the subject was relevant to her too, since she was getting ready to move to Vegas to run an escort service. About halfway through the conversation, her friend Aaron entered( Aaron had introduced me to her a year earlier; he had seen me dancing at a club in San Jose, the first time in my life I had ever go-go danced, actually, and had stuck his card in my underwear along with a wet dollar bill; later I called him and it turned out he was a photographer and wanted to shoot me; even later, it turned out that he was a sleaze and wanted to fuck me; when informed of my orientation, he gave me Caroline's number with the recommendation, she's good to go, man, she's a slut and so I called her right away and had phone sex with her, made plans to meet, and then realized that her's and Aaron's plans were to have a three-way with me. The ol' bait and switch. The meeting never happened.) Certain outrageous activities began to occur. I was gleeful that I was getting it all.
I spent all of yesterday editing the tape and converting it to an mp3, so I could put it up here- but after tinkering around with my computer for hours today I'm realizing that I just don't know how to put it up on the web. I just have no fucking clue. That's a loss, for me and for you - for you, because the convo is funny and if you were able to hear it you'd have a richer picture of Caroline, not to mention of ol' S. Stern; for me, because now I have to transcribe the whole damn thing.
But here goes.
Sam (Coming in mid-conversation): Yeah. . if you get paid a whole, whole lot of money, I can see how it might be worth it.
Caroline: Yeah, well, yeah.
Sam: I had this oppurtunity, well, I still have this oppurtunity, to make some money giving like, sensual massages. .
that sort of end like in hand jobs. . .
Caroline: Oh, okay . . .
Sam: But I'm not sure that I want to do it, but the money sounds pretty sweet
Caroline: Yeah . . .
Sam:Cuz it's like in with this porn guy, he's like the king of the gay porn world, and he knows all these like executives and shit. . . I'm kinda conflicted, I'm not sure I want to do it.
Caroline: Oh, Sam, sam, sam, sam. . .
Sam: I mean, do you think I should do it?
Caroline: Uh, duh. It's no big deal. It's nothing more than I've done when I was younger. Your age.
Sam: Tell me about it.
Caroline: I would fuck for extra tips and stuff.
Sam: Like when you were dancing?
Caroline: Yeah. It's not that big of a deal.
Sam: What if some guy was totally gross? Could you still get through it somehow?
Caroline: Well, I mean, I would lay out what it is I would do and what it is I wouldn't do. I mean, if he was totally gross, I'd tell him, y'know, no, I wouldn't kiss him. Or no, I wouldn't do this, or no, I wouldn't do that.
Sam: So, I mean, you kinda call the shots, huh?
Caroline: Right. I'd lay the groundrules.
Sam: Huh.
Caroline: I don't really have any hang-ups. Whether I'm having sex with a girl or with a guy. As long as I come, that's all that matters.
Sam: Hm hm. And so, why not get paid?
Caroline: Right, why not get paid doing something that I enjoy doing?
Sam: Yeah.
Caroline: Coming.
Sam: Yeah.
Caroline: And I guess I'm posing the same question to you. What's the big deal?
Sam: Exactly. But, I'm not sure that I enjoy giving handjobs to guys. I mean, if it was with women, maybe that's a different story.
Caroline: I don't know. My impression of you is that you just haven't explored your. . . feminine side. I don't know. I mean, don't get me wrong, I think you're definitely more heterosexual than anything else, but I think you're far too open-minded to be shutting yourself off from . . . men.
Sam: Huh. I mean, I really tune my fantasies into women. That's what I think about. That's what turns me on.
Caroline: Okay. . . the point is, is that, can you fake it?
Sam: (Pausing) Yeah. Probably.
Caroline: Well, then, that's all that matters.
Sam: Yeah! As long as I'm okay with it, and as long as they're satisfied with whatever they get.
Caroline: Right.
Sam: But you really call the shots, huh? You kind of go in there and lay down what the deal is.
Caroline: Well, yeah. You have to set the expectations. Or you're going to end up with someone fairly pissed. But I mean, at the same time you still have to be kind, open-minded, friendly, flirtatious . . . something desirable . . . you can't just go in and set down all these rules . . .
Sam: Right.
Caroline: So, you have an oppurtunity to do handjobs for five hundred bucks a hand?
Sam (Realizing):Yeah, man. That's pretty good.
Caroline: So, why aren't you, like, bringing in the dough? That's pretty easy work. Not asking much of you.
Sam: No, it's not, is it?
Caroline: No. Pretty weak, not doing it, if you ask me. (Laughs.)
Sam: See, the thing is, I had to give the guy a handjob first, right? Before the whole. . . before he hooks me up with his clients. And he's just . .
Caroline: So you did it.
Sam: Well, I started to. I went to his house, I got naked, he got naked, and he's just, really gross, big, fat, pink guy, he was kind of drunk, and he was like rub my balls! and I freaked out, I was like No . . . no, what's going on?
Caroline: Well, you know, the easiest money to make is having someone suck you off. Tell me, how does that hurt you?
Sam:(Laughing) I don't know, I. . .
Caroline: What do you have to do to make that money? Get hard and come.
Sam: Right . . .
Caroline: That's it. That's the easiest money fucking to make. (Pause) So, you been getting a lot of uh, pussy lately?
Sam: No.
Caroline: No?
Sam: Uh-uh. I wouldn't say so.
Caroline: Why not?
Sam: I don't know why not. I think about that a lot. (Laughs.) I'm kind of shy, I guess. I'm the shiest person in porn.
Caroline: Well, you're gonna have to let yourself go.
Sam: Yeah.
Caroline: Learn to play a part and just go with it. And then, y'know, if you can't do it, then you can't do it. And part of that is the whole gay thing, I guess. Y'know, the gay thing makes more money than the straight thing.
Sam: But I want to be fucking women!
Caroline: (Laughs) Well, I mean, hello. Priorities. (Then:) You might do better if you shaved.
Sam: What, my face, or my. . .
Caroline: Your happy trail.
Sam: My happy trail, really?
Caroline: Yeah.
Sam: But I'm just sporting the natural look, know what I'm saying?
Caroline: You're sporting the natural look, well, get real, you're in fucking L.A., nothing's natural.
(Aaron enters. He relieves Caroline of the phone.)
Aaron: Hey, how're you doing?
Sam: Good, how are you?
Aaron: Good, how are you?
Sam: (Laughs) Good.
Aaron: You just chillin', or what?
Sam: Uh huh.
Aaron: That's cool. (Pause) Whatcha been up to?
Sam: I moved down to L.A. a little while ago.
Aaron: Whatcha been doin'?
Sam: Just doin' a whole bunch of shit concerning the adult industry and it's ins and outs and all that. . .
Aaron: Oh, yeah? That's cool . . . that's very cool.
Sam: So you going to Vegas?
Aaron: Yeah, moving to Vegas, gonna help Caroline out here, start up her new biz . . . (Pause) . . .Fuck . Oh fuck. Ohhhhh, dude.
Sam: Is she sucking your dick right now?
Aaron: Yeah.
Sam: (Long laughter).
Aaron: Oh fuck. Shit.
Sam: (More laughter.)
Aaron: Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan.
Sam: Is she a good, uh, dicksucker?
Aaron: Ooh, yeah. Yeah, she's good. She's really good. Fuck yeah. Slurpin the fucking dick. Fuck. Have you guys met up yet, or what?
Sam: No, we haven't.
Aaron: Fuck! Shit. So, you still livin' in L.A?
Sam: Yeah. I am. Yep.
Aaron: Well, that's not far from Vegas.
Sam: Maybe I'll come to Vegas.
Aaron: You should do that. On a weekend. You might enjoy it. (Pause) I'm sorry. Hang on.
(Caroline takes the phone.)
Caroline: Hi. Umm. Hey.
Sam: Hey.
Caroline: What's up.
Sam: Nothin'.
Caroline: Mmm. Agh. . . Aaron could be in one of your porns with me.
Sam: What's he doing?
Caroline: He's just licking me. Mm. . . . Licking my clit. . . Ah . . . fuck . . . I'm sorry . . .
Sam: That's okay. (Pause) I'd like to fuck you too.
Caroline: You couldn't handle me.
Sam: Oh really.
Caroline:You're too uptight.
Sam (Laughing): Oh, wow . . .
Caroline (Laughing): You need to relax . . . Oh god. . . oh god, he's got such a nice dick . . oh fuck. . I'm sorry, so anyways, where were we? Oh . . .
Sam: What's he doing now?
Caroline: Stickin' it in . . .
Sam: He's got his cock in you?
Caroline: Yeah. . . . . Fuckin . . . Oooahh . . oh oh oh oh ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhfuck. Man. Hold on. I want to suck his dick. Lick my pussy juice.
Aaron: Hey how you're doin.
Sam: Hey. (Laughs).
Aaron: Fffuck. Shit. She's sucking my dick again. (Pause). You should come join us.
Sam: In Vegas?
Aaron: Yeah. You're like still bi-curious or something, or what?
Sam: Say what?
Aaron: You still like bi-curious, or what.
Sam: (Sighing) I don't really know what I am.
Aaron: You don't know?
Sam: Ah, no. I don't.
Aaron: Fuck. Hold on, I gotta fuck her.
Sam: (Politely) All right.
And so that's what it was. There was more, of course, there's always more, but after a while I got tired of listening to them and said the batteries on my phone were dying and bid them goodbye. It's funny, I still don't have Caroline's number. She won't give it to me.
I'm charging the batteries of my GL-1 cuz tomorrow I'm helping my friend Mark out with a shoot. A word about Mark. He calls me up last weekend and is like, I saw your funny-ass website. And you got the conversation that we had (Mark is the guy who set me up with Shawna, a.k.a. Yogurt) practically verbatim, but you fail to mention what a good guy I am!
What a good guy? I said. See, the thing is man, I don't even know if we're friends! I like you, and we get along and we talk shit and all that and then I think we're friends. Then when we deal with each other, you're all business!
Like how?
Like the shit with the girl's numbers! Why does it always have to be tit for tat? Why can't you just trust me? Why can't you just hook me up with a girl's number and trust that I'll eventually get you back sometime? I'm in this shit to last, Mark!
Well, since you're talking about friends, you got the chance to do me a favor. I need a cameraman on Saturday.
I paused, checked my schedule. My parents were coming into town, but not until late that night. All right, you got one. When's it shooting from?
Nine to four.
Damn! How much are you paying?
Mark laughed. Sam, here you come talking all this shit about friends . . .
All right, I said. He had me. Fine. I'll see you Saturday.
Good.
I still don't know what to think of Mark. But he reads my site, apparently, so I can't write anything too negative about his ass. (I contacted Mark to see how exactly he would like to be referred to here. He responded, as a handsome, educated work-a-holic who provides incredible hookups and rarely gets anything in return.)
A few days later, I got an email from Mark that said Do not bring the Sam Stern entourage to the shoot on Saturday. Come alone. Repeat, come alone. That got me thinking. What the hell was I going to shoot, anyway? I emailed Mark. A few minutes later I get back this reply:
10 man gangbang followed by a 40 man bukkake and possibly an anal gangbang
Jesus . . . hey, why can't you get a cameraman, man? Is it because no one in their right mind would shoot a 10 man gangbang followed by a 40 man bukkake unless they were completely fucked in the head? This is some strong shit. I have never even seen a gangbang video. And a bukkake, well, that is some sick, sick porn for you. That's the kind of porn that when people point at and say, porn is disgusting and should be banned, you have a hard time arguing with them.
Maybe you don't know what a bukkake video is. Maybe I should draw you a mental picture. Picture a nice, pretty young girl. She has a fair, unobscured face, with symmetrical features and shiny, happy skin. Then picture this girl on her knees, taking load after load of semen until she's fairly drowning in cum. You know those cone things dogs wear after operations so that they won't scratch their faces? Sometimes the girl wears one of those, to trap the cum. Forty men. Forty loads. It's a gross-out, to be sure.
And I'm shooting it. Thanks, Mark. That's what we call friendship, I guess. Friendship, porno-style.
If people are gonna be doing manual labor at their computers, they'll need more energy.
Comment removed based on user account deletion
June 2rd, 2002
How did it get to be June already?
I took a little break from the city this weekend, went to Ventura (some people call it Ventucky) to see my Burning Man friends. It was fun. Also I hung out with this 19 year old girl who I befriended. Man, she is hot. She doesn't know yet. I mean, about me and my secret. (She knows she's hot.)
It's getting harder to write in this thing (this journal). I feel like it was easier when I just moved to town and didn't have any friends. The only thing I like writing about is the people who I know - be it Herb, Darth, Jubilee, this 19 year old girl and her cute sexual proclivities - I like talking about people and how fucking weird and funny and trippy they are. But now I feel like there's always a chance that my friends or acquaintances are going to read this . . . and I'll be exposed for the shit talking muckraker that I am. Is it worth it? Like, if I end up liking this girl, (her name is Nan - actually, it's not! That's another thing, I'm sick of making up pseudonyms for everyone) I'll have to tell her about the site, and then she'll look at what I wrote and she'll recognize herself within it and she'll say Do I really have such a fat ass? and I'll say, But I like it! and she'll say, It doesn't sound like that in here. it sounds like you're making fun of me! and I'll say I wasn't having a good writing night, I didn't express myself fully and she'll say, You're kind of a shithead, aren't you, and by the way, what's up with the saliva obsession? and I'll just sort of hang my head in shame.
It might be easier to stick to fiction, is all I'm saying.
I'm reading this collection of Dennis Cooper essays right now, which is called All Ears, and he actually has some similar stuff to say . . . some stuff about losing friends because of what he wrote about them in his articles. Is it really worth it? That's the question. I mean, I like this guy's articles, they're pretty awesome, but I could have survived without them too - he didn't need to win me over (while he was losing his friends in the process). Why should Dennis Cooper care what I think of Dennis Cooper? He's never met me, after all. This all brings up these questions of the people who are close to you, and a public who is not at all close to you, and you sort of treating the people close to you as objects, to be written about and compartmentalized (made into understandable, if perhaps incorrectly represented, essences), for the benefit of an unseen eye who has no individual identity. The generalized, invisble readership takes on the role of the confidant, a comforting presence with whom to commiserate, while the actual people in your life dissolve into mere grist for the stories you're churning out. The cycle doesn't seem so healthy, it seems to me . . .
I've thought before that the very essence of reporting, of critiquing and evaluating, even of storytelling, is one of reductionism, oversimplification. I hate most journalism for this reason. Fiction is preferable to me because I never have to question the veracity of the reportage - it's filtered through the narrator, or novelist - it's made up. It's when it comes to telling about life that I start to distrust, not only the actual story that I'm hearing or reading - but the ability of speech and words in general to accurately describe an event or an occurence. People are liars, and even when they're not, they leave a lot out.
My posturing exemplified in the paragraph above becomes sticky, though, when one takes into account that most of the writing I've done over the last year has been distinctly non-fictional. All I've done is talk about shit that really happened. And I know that I'm not a better or more faithful reporter than the people I complain about. I center on myself a lot in my stories, which is good (because even if I'm being untrue to how I was feeling, at least the only party that I'm betraying is myself) - but I think it gets really interesting when you see who else is involved. And there are so many other folks involved. And it's so difficult to paint them all complexly and truly.
But back to Nan and her big ass:
Wow. That's a big ass.
I was feeling it through her pajamas on Saturday night. I was feeling really happy. Man it had been a long time. Did I tell you about that blowjob I got from Casey Pink? I think I described it as not happening; that it didn't happen. Well, hanging out with Nan actually did happen. It wasn't like it changed my life, like I'm in love, or even that I'm smitten with this cute girl (she is so cute, she's 19, her face is all shiny, her body is springy and gravity-defying, I'm clearly indulging and reveling in my fetish, S. Stern is satisfied). All it was was a nice make-out session plus talk session with an average, cool human being. It had been a LONG TIME!!! I can't even remember the last normal girl I'd been with, to be totally honest. When I was in Brazil I had some girlfriend/temporary wife things, but they were all working girls, so it doesn't really count. And then there's been all this porn bullshit for forever, it seems like, and the best encounter I ever had was with Kate and I only saw her three times total in my entire life! I just shake my head and wonder what the fuck I've been doing with myself, trying to have a porn sex life. I don't know, maybe Ed Powers and Randy West and Rodney Moore dig it; but I had more fun with Nan, who didn't suck my dick or even take off much of her clothing, then I've had on any porn shoot in the last year. I guess it helps that there was no one-hour time limit; and that I didn't have to pay her $250 after I was done! (I want to write: LOL , but I can't quite bring myself to do it.)
Then today I was feeling really sexual and healthy and attractive for the first time in a long time - I felt like I could look at women and sort of sent out my vibe or scent or whatever to them, and have them think about me . . . I didn't feel like a diseased piece of shit which, I have to be honest, I've felt like in the presence of normal girls (read: not strippers, whores, or porn chicks) in the past six months or so. I feel good, like I could fuck someone and have it be about the right stuff, about affection and intimacy and maybe even sharing - not about unfocused anger, fetish-like lust for certain body parts that are usually carried around by a weathered and tired face, and interesting but always disturbing sociological and psychological issues that always make me think about exploitation and abuse. Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan I don't want to go back to fucking with porn girls.
But even as I write that I know it's not true! I have this feeling, this knowledge, almost, that I'm going to keep on doing it, off and on. I know, for example, that if Nan gets too into me or whatever, I can end it with a single truth-telling blow (or action - that is, just hire Faith Adams or Luna or Aurora Snow to come over and suck me off, which will undoubtedly be terrible but it'll be terrible in that terrific self-destructive way that makes for poignant journal entries. Do you see the extent of my calculation? I'm being semi-ironic here, though; please realize that; realize the inaccuracies of my explanation of my own behavior; don't take me seriously when I explain my motives, because they may be true but at the same time there are so many more motives that lay unexplained and unmentioned; however, if you were to take that line of thinking you could never believe a word I or anyone else said, so, upon some pondering, I take it back, take every word I write as gopsel, and as the complete and exhausitve story.)
I have been hit by a sudden wave of exhaustion. I have people coming over for auditions tomorrow anyway; it's the last day I'm seeing people. Then I'll start bringing the best actors back for callbacks this weekend - and maybe start shooting in two weeks! Wow. And you didn't think I was really going to do it. No. You did (generalized unseen reader); I didn't. Maybe I didn't. Oh, I don't know. Maybe I won't, in the first place (do it; make the movie). But I will try. I'll do that.
One more thing: Justin Timberlake wants to move down to L.A. and be partners with me in my production gig, making movies for darkmeat.net. More on that soon.
That's a dot-matrix printer, probably driven by stepping motors. Stepping motors consume power even when stationary.
Le Tour de France
I am sure that the Laotians have an endless supply of underclass slaves they can chain to an exercise bike, so that their elite classes can browse for precious information from the US and other First-World countries. Fuck that shit. What the Laotians need to remedy their widespread illiteracy is PAPER and BOOKS. They need mimeograph machines to print books in their own script. Check this out:
http://www.honco.net/japanese/02/page3.html
n/t
The real masters of man-powered accessories were definitely the red flag guys. I've seen and touched at least gems like
-hand-powered flashlight: you squeeze the handle to generate light. Works, but takes a superhuman to keep the light bright enough to be useful. Good if you only need a flashlight 2 seconds at a time once a day.
-wind-up shaver: turn a handle for a good five minutes to get 30 seconds of buzzing. Wouldn't try if it really works.
Both very recommended items for generating lively discussions at parties. Available in second hand stores throughout the baltic countries.
"Let's see...Start...Shut Down...OK...there we go. Hmmm, seems to be taking a while to shut down. Better keep pedalling in case we accidentally shut it off early."
Note to M1-ers: a curt but otherwise insightful message is not "Flamebait" or "Troll".
Imagine that all those over weight geeks (*cough* cowboy neal) who would be slim if they had to pedal to play on the computer. All those stats that america is getting fatter, etc. Make those gaming kids have to pedal to play PS/2, or Gamecube, or PC games...... It could be a great thing.
It's either on the beat or off the beat, it's that easy.
I moderate therefore I rule!
--
check it out here (.mpg file)
I believe that the existence of women is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy
That's crazy stuff... I guess they're using dot matrix because there are a ton of those lying around in wait....
However, given that you can by a useable ink jet at target for around 30 bucks, maybe the project will given up the noble intentions of employing dot matrix printers and go with (what I assume would be) more efficient ink jets.
Does anyone have #'s for the ink jets?
Comment removed based on user account deletion
Why don't you actually try getting out of your parents basement and get some fucking EXCERCISE. Ever seen how fat the Slashdot editors are?. Even tux the penguin is a fat slob! Even if it means actually going up to the Toilet instead of using UNIX pipes to send it to /dev/null. Go on, moderate this as FAT TROLL that is if your not too fat to click the moderate button.
When I wack off at Digital Teenz I produce enough power to power my house and even sell some back to the electric company. So remember, for all your jerking off needs check out the high quality stuff at Digital Teenz.
.... to keep slim. Do you think that a diet consisting of 99% coke and 1% beef is easy!?
Actually, with the smooth refreshing taste of coke, the real stuff not vanilla or that diet shit, it's a piece of cake. A couple dozen cokes for breakfast, followed by a plain wendy's triple with cheese for lunch. Then a couple dozen cokes until steak for dinner and a couple dozen cokes to keep me awake long enough to get some work done.
This is not sarcasm. This diet REALLY works. Visit http://flame.dnsart.com/ for absolutely no mention of this diet. GARUNTEED.
You can't judge a book by the way it wears its hair.
A man in Laos suffered a sudden heart attack when the computer he was powering by pedal received a massive DOS attack and quadrupled its power needs.
Local authorities beleive the DOS attack was caused after a neighbour, whom he has had many problems with, posted the address of the pedal powered computer to a popular web site.
Sparks:Gadget:Beer Maker
Try this.
A lot of big cities have bike cops (and bike medics, now)--why not rig their bikes with a tiny wireless node, powered by their pedaling?
When I wack off at Digital Teenz I produce enough power to power my house and even sell some back to the electric company. So remember, for all your jerking off needs check out the high quality stuff at Digital Teenz.
Anyone have any URL's we can check out?
Yeah, anyone got any web servers we can crash and networks we can flood?
int main (int argc, char *argv[])
{
int CowboyNeal=350;
int FatboySlim=135;
do
CowboyNeal--;
while (CowboyNeal >FatboySlim)
rejoice();
return(0);
}
Actually, there's some good wind-up stuff available now. A couple years back, I bought a wind-up AM/FM radio, which also has DC and solar capability. The solar doesn't work too well... if you're even the slightest bit in the shade, it kicks out, and even in the sun, it has problems. However, I wind it for about 45 seconds, and at a decent level of volume, it stays on for 15 minutes... If I turn the volume down so just I listen to it, it's more like 35 minutes.
Same company advertises a wind-up flashlight... haven't got around to buying it yet, I might someday, but how do I find it in the dark?
now people will have leg/foot problems in addition to hand RSI.
Whoever modded this down as offtopic was a real idiot. This is the core issue. Do you want to sell another primitive country on false hopes that technology will save them? Do you want to suck the budget away from the solutions that have a REAL effect on improving people's lives? Even if the power source is locally produced, it requires computers bought from the high-tech countries.
Throwing more technology at a social problem is not the way. Laos needs some things a lot more than internet access. Things like textbooks and modern plumbing and paved streets. This pedal power project is an abomination, it tricks the Laotians into wasting their limited resources.
I have some alternative suggestions for low-power, easily self-manufactured products that will be appropriate for this project. For the most common needs, users will be satisfied by the Portable Engineering, Numeric Computation, & Illustration Recorder, and the storage medium referred to as the Portable Accumulative Permanent Encoding Recorder. The P.E.N.C.I.L and P.A.P.E.R. system requires no power to operate and can be manufactured in any low-tech country with local materials.
This story reminds me of what happened when someone first tried to bring the internet to Nepal. They tried to find a local English-speaker for a contact person, they could only find one or two, and they were not interested in the project. They said they were far too busy working with foreign countries that were helping install sewers and electricity.
All this project is going to do is make poor countries even poorer. They can make all the pedal-power systems they want, but still have to buy computer hardware from abroad, using hard currency. I urge people to stop and think about whether this computer stuff is what third-world countries really NEED. Maybe someone should ASK them what they need, instead of suggesting projects based on what WE think they should need. I betcha they'd ask for things like Vitamin A tablets and refrigerators and AM radios.
- don't care about the pedal power, we run on solar here. I am more interested in this 5 watt computer. Anyone know this beast they are talking about? 5 watts is a piece of cake with one panel, heck, 50 watts is emininetly doable with a small panel. Pedaling is a big waste of time when you are a third world person and usually have to be outside working most of the time, whereas a solar panel is chugging along during the day charging your batteries.
An average man is capable of comfortably producing 65W of mechanical power continuously (full-time work).
Source: an old physics textbook.
If you really want, it can probably do twice this amount for a limited time ( hour).
Why don't you compare it with the smallest gas engine (used in toys) and close the topic?
I'm not even starting to discuss whether it's possible to press pedals and type at the same time.
The first reported death due to the slashdot effect.
Maybe someone could design an ink refill kit that allows them to use squids or some other native source.
If they are "tricked" into buying something they don't need, then that is their fault. On the other hand, if they accept this because they truly have a use for it, then what is the problem?
- Slashdot : Crank Up Your Webserver (18jun2001)
- Two days ago : Slashdot : First Wind-up Phone Charger Review (25jul2002)
- mini FAQ on bicycle lights (dynamo=3W)
- How to construct a permanent magnet alternator (this one is for windpower, ~180 watts)
- other homebuilt alternators (~100 watts) (again windpower. ?efficiency)
I did not find URLs for hand-powered military transmitters (but would be interested to get one). ? See also 'human powered flight' (Gossamer Condor), there are also submarines I thinkDon't exercice too much, keep some blood for the brains.
Having visited Thailand and Laos a couple a months ago, here are my thoughts:
Laos is primarily an agrian society. There is very little base infrastructure (roads, phones, electricity). So why would it be practical to build for the Loatian people a pedeled computer, when they are still having to harvest their rice crops using hand-carved wood tools?
Do us all a favor and provide some base technology to these people by giving them water purification systems, sewage treatment, modern road systems, or decent medical care --- not a computer so they can view CNNAsia.com or check their hotmail account.
What happens when the pedalling kid gets tired and takes a brief rest? Will you have to scandisk or fsck every time?
There is also the wind up radios these days...look up freeplay radio. This is in addition to the flash lights and a few other things people have already mentioned here.
:)
My dad had the same idea a few decades ago - can I get any money out of it?
... last (southern) summer when I spent a couple of weeks on vacation at an unpowered camp ground beyond reach of even cellular coverage.
It soon got to the point where it would have detracted from my holiday less if I had been able to write more freely that my iBook batteries allowed.
But even for the rest of the year, there is some appeal in the idea of being able to do something for cardiovascular fitness while we work.
So there really might be a market amongst relatively affluent nerds for early implementations of pedal powered computing, though maybe sans printer.
Then if the third world continues to see wisdom in leaping straight into the information age as a tactic for improving the rest of their lives the technology might be got to the point needed to make economic sense.
A lifetime ago, the lives of settlers in the Australian outback were improved by the Royal Flying Doctor Service and the School of the Air, both of which were made effective by Alfred Traegar's development of the pedal wireless and a morse code keyboard.
-- Our systemic servants do not good masters make.
The former Soviets are very advanced in this kind of thing; check out the "universal translator" speech-to-speech translation handheld.
The first time I heard about it, Gilligan was pedaling a dynamo in an episode of Gilligan's Island. Then he stopped pedaling.
This sig no verb.
I read about this inventor who created a wind up radio that is apparently pretty effecient. Worldlink has this story about him. And I believe that I read in Wired that he was now trying to create a pair of shoes that would generate enough electricity to power a cell phone.
_______________
http://www.aidindia.org/hq/projects/illus/pedal.ht me r.h tmlp ://www.los-gatos.ca.us/pedgen.html2 13.252:8383/2000/humanpower.htm
http://www.humboldt.edu/~ccat/energy/pedal-pow
http://www.econvergence.net/electro.htm
htt
http://67.82.
I haven't notices any mention of the SOLO, a project to develop a RISC workstation for use with renewable energy resources in third world countries.
Also, the idea of using pedal generators is not new, but not yet well developed. The Light Project uses pedal-generators and storage bateries to power white LED lamp to provide indoor lighting in third-world countries for living working and education.
Dull tools are useless. Sharp tools are dangerous. Never use the sharp end as the handle.
On a recent trip to the desert, a couple of people brought along radios that had both solar panels and hand cranks. With only about 30 seconds to a minute of cranking the radio would play for a good ten or fifteen minutes. The volume didn't get too high though (but you should have heard the things when we left 'em out in the sun!).
Using already working hardware you could hack together any palm with IR, an IR phone(for neting), and add on a palm keyboard. Now you atach that to your Car batery/ Bike generator and you have a working human powered computer. Mind you its not runing linux but who cares it works. You could eaven use one of thows large screened palms with the built in key board.
I always thought it would be a good idea to put a generator on all the workout machines in the cardio room at my local gym. You could probably recapture alot of the spent energy in a gym this way and put it back into the electrical grid.
-ted
http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/10.04/approtec. html
Check out this, the MoneyMaker pump. Man-powered irrigation. This is the way to bring computers to impoverished nations... let them irrigate and farm, and then eventually they can buy their own computers.
As an A.C. posted, the Russians have the Universal Translator
Beware of car generators to produce electricity : they need high rpm's and are efficient (to be checked, I am not sure) when producing hundred's of watts (tens of amps at 12 volts).