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10 Reasons We Need Java 3

Posted by michael on from the need-is-such-a-strong-word dept.

An anonymous reader writes "This article on O'Reilly Network (written by one of the most active Java book writers ever, Elliotte Rusty Harold) has some interesting points about the need for a new 'cleaned up' Java version, made to incorporate the advances in the last 7 years of its life and without the requirement to keep compatibility with old versions."

9 of 568 comments (clear)

  1. 10 Reasons We Need Java 3 by af_robot · · Score: 5, Funny

    1. speed
    2. speed
    3. speed
    4. speed
    5. speed
    6. speed
    7. speed
    8. speed
    9. speed
    10. profit

  2. 0. by Perdo · · Score: 2, Funny

    10. Delete all deprecated methods, fields, classes, and interfaces.
    9. Fix incorrect naming conventions.
    8. Eliminate primitive data types.
    7. Extend chars to four bytes.
    6. Fix threads.
    5. Convert file formats to XML.
    4. Ditch the AWT.
    3. Rationalize the collections.
    2. Redesign I/O.
    1. Redesign class loading from scratch, this time with human interface factors in mind.

    If he's so prolific, and knows exactly what it needs...

    0. Do it himself.

    --

    If voting were effective, it would be illegal by now.

    1. Re:0. by altgrr · · Score: 1, Funny

      try{
      fixInconsistentCapitalisation();
      makeMethodsTakingNoInputsNotRequireBrackets(e,g,St ring.length());
      changeBrackets{
      soYouDon'tHaveCurlyOnes(orSquareOnes[either]);
      }
      finally{
      StopTeachingItInTheUniversities();
      }

      --


      Like car accidents, most hardware problems are due to driver error.
  3. primitive data types... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    The reason Java used primitive data types in the first place was speed. Oh how they failed.

  4. Re:Arse by Jugalator · · Score: 3, Funny

    Well, tell them to get fucked and go and read the Java tutorial then!

    Hey, it's hard to figure out the classpath! You need to take the dots and change them into slashes, for crying out loud! And never forget the classpath is relative to the base directory! my head hurts... *sob*

    --
    Beware: In C++, your friends can see your privates!
  5. Top ten reasons we need Java 3 by selectspec · · Score: 5, Funny

    10. Java 2 isn't big enough.

    9. Cool 3D-glasses marketing gimick potential

    8. We can all complain more when MS doesn't support it.

    7. Library need another complete overhaul of the GUI classes.

    6. Add in all of the C/C++ features that we're left out.

    5. O'Rielly can sell another series of books (how about a fungus?).

    4. Since all of the people who know Java 2 are unemployed, this project will keep them off the streets and out of trouble.

    3. Java doesn't have enough incompatibility issues as it is. We need to level the playing field.

    2. 'Cause the alternative is caving in to C#.

    1. Emacs is better than vi.

    --

    Someone you trust is one of us.

    1. Re:Top ten reasons we need Java 3 by tomhudson · · Score: 3, Funny
      And reason number 11 - so that all the java programmers can finally get fed up, switch back to C/C++, and learn how to use malloc, pointers, and free properly!

      Seriously, lt's not cave in to C!so#

  6. Re:I strongly disagree. by SnapShot · · Score: 2, Funny
    MI does not exist in nature
    Oh sure, tell that to Mom and Dad.
    --
    Waltz, nymph, for quick jigs vex Bud.
  7. Re:Forget It by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Tight loops I spent hours optimizing run five times slower.

    Why would anyone optimize VB, let alone spend five hours optimizing one piece of code in it? (and presumably not in an "optimize the algorithm" way, if recompiling could affect it that much)

    I mean you might as well strap wheels on the snails in my garden...