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Tips For Incoming 2002 Freshmen
An Anonymous Freshman asks: "I, along with many other individuals in my age bracket, will soon be heading off to college. It seems that it would be quite easy to become bombarded by the many changes and potential pressures that are on the horizon. So, as the fall semester/quarter rapidly approaches, I would like to take this opportunity to ask what seems to be an experienced (and, overall, educated) community for any suggestions that would aid myself and the numerous other 'freshman-to-be' in adjusting to college social life (or lack thereof), academics, and the like. I would especially appreciate comments related to the potential necessity of time management in response to increased study requirements (and the desire to have an existence, otherwise)."
There's always time for beer.
I am the very model of a modern major general!
Don't drink before exams.
Don't go to bed if the sun is going to rise in an hour.
Carry 2 condoms.
Don't go on that date if she's got an adam's apple.
Finding a balance is hard and not worth the trouble. If your going to take 7 years to graduate might as well spend the first three in a row having a good time.
Hollow words will burn and hollow men will burn.
13) you go to the campus health center because "it burns when i pee"
14) You're on megadoses of cephalaxin or bactrim for that 'stuff' oozing out of your dode.
15) you get a call 5 months later informing you of an event in 4 months, that you'll be paying for.
16) You'll drop out of school and start your new job at Wal-Mart in 6 months.
17) You'll spend your free time in the Wal-Mart PC section playing with those "Preloaded with Linux" PCs.
18) You're a college dropout, wal-mart employed, linux geek father.
DON'T BUY THAT DRINK.
FUCK SORORITY GIRLS, NOT BAR WHORES.