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Customers Rate PC Vendors' Tech Support
VorfeedTech writes "News.com has a story on consumers' satisfaction with tech support. The article goes on to mention ConsumerReports' survey results comparing a few of the major PC vendors. Apple rated the best for tech support. I guess this is where they think different (TM)."
Getting Tech Support to rate the customers. Which company has the stupidest clients, and is there a relationship between quality of service and the intelligence of the people receiving it.
An Eye for an Eye will make the whole world blind - Gandhi
Duse, I work for dell, so I know first hand what us guys go through. Here are some of my favorite tales: A guy is mad because his region 4 DVD player will not play the Playboy DVDs he bought A guy tells me he will make my life hell and come after me because I would not give him a bios password for a portable. A lady blames me for having to reinstall her OS(She had every P2P program on earth, along with every spyware you can think of, plus a virus or 2) A guy asked me how to remove a picture from the desktop before his parents got home and how to remove that picture from the list of backgrounds. A lady that said she would always get porno pop ups. Only her and her husband use the system. Good times!
What, me Tweet?
There was a batch of Deskpros which had faulty video cards. They would work fine when new, but over time the BIOS would leak power until one day you switched on and, well, it didn't switch on. You got the beep sequence informing you, "Dude, you're getting no video!". Once that happened, you were out of luck and had to RMA the card. Eventually they came out with a "patch" -- if you can consider a small Windows program which bleeps the BIOS every 24 hours to refresh the video card information a legitimate patch -- but it was useless if your card had already died.
I had a client who'd bought a batch of 70 or so and was rolling them out in lots of five at a time. Hence, every few weeks, we'd have to call Compaq and RMA the video card. Well, naturally, we had to go through the diagnostics. Even though this was a well-known and documented issue, and even though the beep sequence said exactly what was happening, and even though you would tell Compaq you'd gone through the diagnostics, you had to do it while the Compaq tech was on the line.
So eventually I figured out how to do this.
Compaq tech: "Okay, switch out the video card with a known good card and check it boots up with that one, then replace the original and see if you still have the same problem."
Me: wait for 15 seconds doing nothing, then, "Okay, done that. The other card worked fine, but I still have the same problem with the original."
Compaq tech: "Gosh, that was quick."
Me: "Yes, well, I'm, err, used to doing this by now."
Compaq tech: "Okay. Well then...um, let's reset the motherboard BIOS by..."
Me: "...switching over Jumper A17, powering up for 20 seconds, then turning it off and switching back, yeah, I know. Hang on a minute."
Sit for another 30 seconds doing nothing.
"Okay, done that, same problem."
Compaq tech: "Wow, you're really quick on this stuff!"
Me: "Yeah, well, I play the piano, I have good dexterity."
Compaq tech: "Oh..."
Quite efficient, I think: if you just pretend to do what they're asking instead of actually doing it, it goes much more quickly. This is good, right? You cut down on the call time, save the client time and money, and don't tie up the Compaq tech line either, so they're getting better call times -- yay, everyone wins!
You just had to make sure you paused long enough to make it sound plausible. No good coming back after five seconds claiming to have replaced the video card, booted up into Windows, shut down, and switched in the original video card, as well as having done a complete NT installation on the side. But there was one tech who I spoke with quite often, and he soon figured out what was going on. Fortunately, he also figured out I had at least half a clue, and if he played along it'd cut down his call times.
They have to go through the charade, poor buggers; almost feel sorry for them sometimes.
User: 5
...20 minutes later...
User: 3
User: #
User: 9
User: 9
User: 4
User: 0
Tech Support: All technicians are busy. We value your business. Please continue to wait.
Tech Support: Hello, how can I help you?
User: About a minute after booting up, my computer freezes with a blinking cursor in the corner.
Tech Support: Sir, can you check your power cord? Is it plugged into the wall?
User: Yes, as I said, when I turn it on it freezes up.
Tech Support: Is your computer turned on?
User: Yes.
Tech Support: Is your monitor plugged into both the wall and your computer?
User: Of course.
Tech Support: Is your monitor turned on?
User: Yes yes. That's not the problem.
Tech Support: I see. Do you have your support CD?
User: Yes.
Tech Support: Ok, insert your support CD and press the reset button.
User: Ok.
Tech Support: You should see our logo and several choices.
User: Alright there they are.
Tech Support: Press the one called Reformat and Reinstall Operating System.
User: Uhh...Won't that remove all of my stuff? I mean can't you help me figure the problem out?
Tech Support: Your problem can't be solved without reinitializing your system.
User: But it starts up ok and works for a while.
Tech Support: Sir, can you check your power cord? Is it plugged into the wall?