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MS Exec: 'Our products just aren't engineered for security'
Various Microsoft news tidbits contributed by numerous readers: Phoebus0 notes that Microsoft's Vice-President in charge of Windows development states flat out that Microsoft products aren't engineered for security, absolutely guaranteeing he'll have tomorrow's Ditherati quote. Many readers submitted this Knowledge Base article stating that Microsoft is mystified by a wave of successful hacks on assorted versions of Windows (there's also a news report on this). Microsoft has another security bulletin out on the digital certificate spoofing bug that has caused them so many problems recently.
...has finally gotten through to them -- Security is something that starts from the ground up, not when you reach the top and back down.
The One Rule Of Chess You'll Ever Need: Don't play someone who carries a kit in their bookbag.
The XFree86 team admits xfree86 is not engineered for speed and RMS admits that GNU is not engineered for user-friendlyness.
The masses are the crack whores of religion.
The first step is admiting you have a problem.... now that Microsoft has gotten past the denial stage they can now move to stage 2, that is doing something about it....
...the sky is blue, and less fat and more exercise is good for you.
"Ask not what your country can do for you." --John F. Kennedy
Brian Valentine, formally senior vice-president in charge of Microsoft's Windows development, looking for VP/management job with software company.
I have to use this cause I can't afford a real sig...
#ifdef WIN32
#define snprintf _snprintf
#endif
Morphing Software
I wrote this the other day in an idle moment. It needs a bit more work but I'm thinking of making it into a Flash cartoon or something (if someone wants to steal the idea, feel free):
Billy Boy and Tux
One very hot day in summer, Billy Boy is stilling under a huge, impressive sign. It says "Lemonade, $5 a glass".
Customer: $5 a glass! That's expensive!
Billy Boy: Well, go buy from someone else.
Customer: But there's nobody else to buy drinks from here!
Billy Boy: Aha! I bullied all the other boys and they've gone home!
Customer: That's not very nice.
Billy Boy [Chuckling and rocking back and forth]: $5 a glass. Take it or leave it.
Customer: Damn. You're a nasty little boy, but it's a very hot day and I really need a drink.
Billy Boy takes the money.
The afternoon wears on, Billy Boys coffers fill.
The next day...
Billy Boy: Lemonade! Lemonade! $5 a glass!
A fat penguin waddles up and sets up a stall beside Billy Boy.
He erects a little badly drawn sign "Iced water. Free."
Billy boy [whispering, chuckling to himself]:Loser. You'll not get any custom with a crappy sign like that.
Tux ignores him.
The next customer approaches Billy Boy, but then notices Tux's sign and goes to him.
Billy Boy[angry]: Hey fatty, get off my patch. I was here first!
Tux ignores him.
Billy Boy: Hey stupid. Nobody wants iced water, everyone wants my lemonade, it's the best! I've got 100% of the market in soft drinks in this street.
Tux ignores him.
Another customer comes and has a glass of water from Tux.
Billy Boy: Listen idiot! How do you expect to get rich like me if you don't charge anything! What an idiot you are!
Tux ignores him.
More customers go to Tux.
Billy Boy [shouting at his customers]: Don't drink the penguin's water!! I won't make any profits and, erm, the economy will collapse!
Customers laugh.
Billy Boy [really angry]: If you drink the penguin's water, your next glass of lemonade from me will be $10!
Customers give Billy Boy the finger.
Billy Boy [insanely angry]: Don't drink the penguin's water! It'll give you cancer!
Customers shake their heads and move to Tux's queue.
All customers go to Tux now.
Billy Boy starts screaming and crying and runs home.
Tux and his customers ignore him.
Admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery. Anybody want some more coffee!? *puffs on a cigarette* I'm gonna get some more coffee... *shakes and walks around of the room*
Why bother.
What does 'PSS' stand for in that Microsoft Knowledgebase article? [P]lease [s]top [s]niffing? ([s]poofing? '[s]ploiting?)
Saying they are "not engineered" is a statement of your naivity. Imagine designing and coding a huge prog. such as Windows or MS Office... Do you think they sit a big room and just piece code together like a puzzle? Please don't say that they are not engineered...
Hrm... sit in a big room and just piece together code like a puzzle? Yeah, that's exactly what it feels like, half the time. Counter-intuitive commands, shoddy execution, worse then useless help systems.... yup, yup, yup.
Now, was it done that way? Obviously not. But they definitely need some improvement between the design phase, the engineering phase, and the implementation phase.
And quite frankly, I don't want pretty. I want functional. I want an easy to use system, not one that sparkles and gleams. I don't want bells and whistles. I don't want little pop-up paperclip buddies (and how freaking long did it take to add that piece of feces?), and I don't want programs that think they know what I want to do and are wrong half the time.
I want a system that does what I tell it to, not what it thinks I want. I want something that is coded efficiently, smoothly, and takes up a minimum of space.
And I want it by Thursday.
Kierthos
Mr. Hu is not a ninja.
Try changing the password.
My deviantArt site
Step 4: Profit?!?
step 1. Admit that current MS OS is insecure.
step 2. ???
step 3. profit!
NO CARRIER
This information applies to the following OS's:
All MS OS's
Linux
Summary
Mozilla displays fonts in MS Knowledge Base incorrectly.
Solution
Please uninstall Mozilla web browser and install Microsoft Internet Explorer 6.0
If using linux please erase your partitions, create a primary FAT32 or NTFS partition, purchase MS WinXP Pro $300 and install.
"Microsoft has also been employing new tools developed by Microsoft Research that are designed to detect errors in code during the development process, Valentine said"
{clippy}It looks like you are writeing a SQL query.. Would you like some help?{/clippy}
Clippy for code, may god have mercy on their souls.
Not everyone deserves a 320i
eek... irony stacked on irony. this place is just getting too weird for me.
The Free desktop that Just Works
Ok, this stuff just ain't funny anymore.
step 1. Make stupid tired jokes on slashdot and get modded as funny
step 2. ???
step 3. all your base are: Priceless.
My IP address is 2130706433.
Decode that, and you're the ultimate 31337 H4X0R dude!
"A terrorist is someone who has a bomb but doesn't have an air force." -William Blum
But the point is that they already have an OS. Why would they bother installing anything else? BTW, have you ever tried to install Win9x, Win2K, or WinXP from scratch?
or NT x.x?
Preview of NT installation
5 *D0 WHILE sysadmin sanity > 0*
10 *gasp*
20 *strangle*
30 *choak*
40 *system crash*
50 *system crash*
60 *BSoD*
70 *gasp*
80 *choak*
90 *hard drive full*
100 *format*
110 *bzzz...*
120 -Windows NT now Installed. Have fun trying to configure your periphials
130 *config, config, config*
140 *CRASH*
150 *System Dump*
160 *LOOP*
--CypherDragon
In other news, Linus Torvals remarks that Linux is just not engineered to be easy to use by the average home user.
"It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance." - Thomas Sowell
"Microsoft has also been employing new tools developed by Microsoft Research that are designed to detect errors in code during the development process, Valentine said"
WOW, what a revolutionary idea... a debugger!!!!
What will those amazing M$ R&D guys come up with next?