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Purchase Your Personal Gene Map

Posted by timothy on from the priceless dept.

dstone writes "Craig Venter, Time Magazine's Person of the Year in 2000 has a new hobby: collecting rich people's DNA. Millionaires are lining up to buy their personal gene maps for the cool price of USD$621,500. The process takes a week and you get some insight into your genetic mutations that may correlate with illnesses, cancers, Alzeimer's, etc. Venter is a high profile character in the genetic sequencing scene and the Human Genome Project. More info on him may be found here(1) , here(2), and here(3) . If you had the pocket change, would you give this man your business?"

13 of 266 comments (clear)

  1. Anybody want to venture a guess by Noose+For+A+Neck · · Score: 3, Funny

    ...as to how long it is until someone patents my genes?

    --

    Software piracy is victimless theft.

    1. Re:Anybody want to venture a guess by micromoog · · Score: 5, Funny

      I wouldn't worry if I were you.

    2. Re:Anybody want to venture a guess by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Mmm, if they did this as a work for hire, couldn't you patent your own genes? That might be fun!

      Copyright yourself so others can't do it for you...

    3. Re:Anybody want to venture a guess by Suicide · · Score: 2, Funny

      I already have. There will be a per child charge, for using my patented material to create a derivative work. Charge will be based on whether or not you'd like to buy the rights to said derivative work outright (allowing your children to have charge free children), or simply borrow it for the single copy (they will have to pay for the patented material received from you passed down to their derivative work, although at a lesser rate).

    4. Re:Anybody want to venture a guess by deprecated · · Score: 2, Funny

      Your jeans are more likely to be pantsed.

    5. Re:Anybody want to venture a guess by TummyX · · Score: 1, Funny

      all your base-pairs are belong to us!

  2. Like PT Barnum said by rimcrazy · · Score: 4, Funny

    A sucker is born every minute....

    --
    "TV, a medium as it is neither rare nor well done." Ernie Kovacs
  3. "MAPS TO CELEBRITIES GENES.....$2.00" by Thatto · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Ever wonder which hollywood stars and starlets share common sequences?" Oprah's grandmother's dirty little secret!" "THE RICH AND POWERFUL: Genetically Inclined?"

    no thanks

  4. Re:Well. by delta407 · · Score: 5, Funny
    How long before we're doing this for unborn fetuses
    Yeah, but how many unborn fetuses have six hundred thousand dollars?
  5. Venter's DNA by morcheeba · · Score: 5, Funny

    Craig's company Celera was mapping a suposedly anonymous genome, but then craig admitted it was his dna. As a Celera shareholder, I wonder if that qualifies as a $600k perk that he got.

    --
    HIV Crosses Species Barrier... into Muppets
  6. Re:If I had $621,500... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

    (20:40:30) MovieDudeTX: have u been harassing FoxY ChicK 8403?
    (20:40:38) Gordon Shanley: Nope.
    (20:40:45) MovieDudeTX: fucking liar
    (20:41:01) Gordon Shanley: I'm not harassing.
    (20:41:06) Gordon Shanley: Are you named Glenn?
    (20:41:17) MovieDudeTX: no im not named Gleen
    (20:41:19) MovieDudeTX: *Glenn
    (20:41:25) Gordon Shanley: Oh.
    (20:41:40) MovieDudeTX: have u been talking to FoxY ChicK 8403?
    (20:41:44) Gordon Shanley: Yes.
    (20:41:46) Gordon Shanley: How about you?
    (20:41:54) MovieDudeTX: yeah
    (20:41:59) MovieDudeTX: she said u were bothering here
    (20:42:00) MovieDudeTX: *her
    (20:42:06) Gordon Shanley: Am I still bothering?
    (20:42:21) MovieDudeTX: how did u get her sn
    (20:42:27) Gordon Shanley: My subprofile.
    (20:42:35) Gordon Shanley: But I took it down since then.
    (20:42:37) MovieDudeTX: do u know her?
    (20:42:49) Gordon Shanley: I'm not sure.
    (20:42:55) Gordon Shanley: Do you?
    (20:43:20) MovieDudeTX: yes I do
    (20:43:30) Gordon Shanley: How old are you?
    (20:43:44) MovieDudeTX: u first
    (20:43:58) Gordon Shanley: You can ask Heather how old I am.
    (20:44:41) MovieDudeTX: where do u know her from?
    (20:44:56) Gordon Shanley: I don't know, she was in my suprofile.
    (20:47:35) MovieDudeTX: ive got a copy of the convo u had with her so if i dont confess to bothering her, im
    (20:47:44) MovieDudeTX: *if YOU dont confess
    (20:48:01) Gordon Shanley: She didn't tell me I was being bothersome. You sound like a control freak.
    (20:48:20) MovieDudeTX: you've got one last chance before I report you to AOL
    (20:48:48) Gordon Shanley: One last chance for what? I don't understand what you're asking me.
    (20:49:09) MovieDudeTX: LEAVE HER ALONE OR I WILL REPORT YOU TO AOL. I HAVE A COPY OF THE CONVO
    (20:49:26) Gordon Shanley: Why didn't you just say it like that to start with?
    (20:49:46) MovieDudeTX: perhaps i didnt make myself clear
    (20:49:54) Gordon Shanley: That would be a safe assumption.
    (20:50:03) MovieDudeTX: LEAVE HER ALONE OR I WILL REPORT YOU TO AOL. I HAVE A COPY OF THE CONVO
    (20:50:09) MovieDudeTX: THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE
    (20:50:34) Gordon Shanley: I'm not even saying something to her anymore. Are you some kind of moron?
    (20:50:53) MovieDudeTX: u leaving her alone?
    (20:51:33) Gordon Shanley: Yes, of course. I have manners, unlike you.
    (20:51:44) MovieDudeTX: allright then im not gonna report you
    (20:52:38) Gordon Shanley: But I wonder why she couldn't just ask me to leave her alone. It seems awfully weak for someone else to have to say that.
    (20:53:00) MovieDudeTX: maybe u were scaring her? ever think of that
    (20:54:01) Gordon Shanley: No. And if I was, she should just ask me to leave her alone, instead of being spineless about it.
    (20:54:16) MovieDudeTX: just dont talk to her again
    (20:54:31) MovieDudeTX: because if u do and i hear about it, im reporting you to AOL, you got that?
    (20:54:35) Gordon Shanley: I won't unless she IMs me first.
    (20:54:42) Gordon Shanley: And you're a total control freak, man.
    (20:55:03) MovieDudeTX: no im not a total control freak, man.
    (20:55:25) Gordon Shanley: Then what are you, just some kind of Texan redneck?
    (20:55:41) MovieDudeTX: i dont live in the fucking sticks
    (20:55:56) MovieDudeTX: and where r u from
    (20:55:59) Gordon Shanley: Yeah, you're not good enough for that.
    (20:56:05) Gordon Shanley: I'm from Wichita, Kansas.
    (20:56:13) MovieDudeTX: oh a kansas farmboy
    (20:56:18) MovieDudeTX: now whos the redneck
    (20:56:24) Gordon Shanley: You need food.
    (20:56:37) Gordon Shanley: You don't need guns to shoot down traffic lights.
    (20:56:58) MovieDudeTX: I happen to live in a very affluent area
    (20:57:14) Gordon Shanley: That doesn't mean you're not a total idiot.
    (20:57:24) Gordon Shanley: Now here's how I would have approached the situation:
    (20:57:33) MovieDudeTX: but at least im not a poor hick like u
    (20:57:59) Gordon Shanley: "Hi, my friend FoxYChicK8403 would prefer not to talk to you. Could you please leave her alone? Thanks."
    (20:58:16) MovieDudeTX: well that wouldnt have worked with a fucker like u
    (20:58:20) Gordon Shanley: See, it works much better that way. You rich boys have no manners.
    (20:58:31) MovieDudeTX: Gordon Shanley>!-- (8:58:25 PM)--> : Hi, my friend FoxYChicK8403 would prefer not to talk to you. Could you please leave her alone? Thanks.
    (20:58:32) Gordon Shanley: It certainly would have worked.
    (20:58:43) Gordon Shanley: Sure.
    (20:58:45) Gordon Shanley: See?
    (20:59:05) MovieDudeTX: fucking dickhead
    (20:59:12) Gordon Shanley: Sounds like an apt description of yourself.
    (20:59:27) MovieDudeTX: least im not a kansas redneck
    (20:59:36) MovieDudeTX: i live in an affluent suburban area
    (21:00:15) Gordon Shanley: Yeah, keep telling yourself that's worth something.
    (21:00:29) Gordon Shanley: You're probably the stupidest person I've ever talked to in my whole life. Congratulations.
    (21:00:58) Gordon Shanley: And they need servants in affluent areas. Although I'm sure you haven't worked a minute in your life.
    (21:02:29) MovieDudeTX logged in.
    (21:03:32) Gordon Shanley: Check out my new profile.
    (21:04:16) MovieDudeTX: thats it
    (21:04:23) MovieDudeTX: ur gonna hear from aol real soon
    (21:04:40) Gordon Shanley: You only deserve it. Get a sense of humor.
    (21:07:06) MovieDudeTX: u know what?
    (21:07:25) MovieDudeTX: meet a friend of mine
    (21:07:25) MovieDudeTX: his name is BLOCK
    (21:07:32) MovieDudeTX logged out.

  7. Not Funny by foo+fighter · · Score: 3, Funny

    I see alot of comments joking about already owning their gene map and about releasing their map under the GPL.

    No, you don't and no, you can't.

    Most of the genes in your body are already patented, trademarked, and/or copyrighted. Those that aren't will be within the next few years.

    We don't own our own bodies.

    I hope that literally scares the shit out of you. It did to me: I locked myself in my bathroom until I could cope with the insanity of some corporation owning the natural devices that construct humans.

    Wired had a very informative article on this some time back. Also, you can Google for the info and you'll find it.

    What really scares me is that I've got at least 80 years left to live. I'm going to be fighting and putting up with a lot of shit before I can finally rest.

    It'd be nice if some of you would give me a hand.

    --
    obviously no deficiencies vs. no obvious deficiencies
  8. Re:I already own this... by isorox · · Score: 3, Funny

    However, if I do all I can to be healthy (i.e., not eating junkfood while laying on my couch all day)

    I stopped that lifestyle a long time ago, I now sit in my nice comfy armchair while eating junk food, much healthier!