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If Programming Languages Could Speak

Posted by michael on from the if-C++-screams-in-the-forest,-does-it-make-a-sound dept.

HealYourChurchWebSit writes "BurningBird's "The Parable of the Languages" offers a delightfully playful answer to the the question, "[what] if programming languages could speak, really speak, not just crunch bytes and stream bits, they would have much to say that is both wise and profound.""

11 of 352 comments (clear)

  1. "Stop Anthropomorphizing Me" by drhairston · · Score: 5, Insightful

    "Stop Anthropomorphizing Me. Instead, go outside and play".

    --
    Dr. Joseph Hairston
    Superintendent, CCBC
  2. They were a little harsh on LISP. by BitwizeGHC · · Score: 5, Insightful

    LISP is the language that discovers there is no spoon, and learns to bend itself. In so doing, it becomes master of them all.

    --
    N4st0r, trixx0r h0bb1tz0rz! Th3y st0l3 0ur pr3c10uzz!
  3. Hrmm by ActiveSX · · Score: 2, Insightful

    ...a delightfully playful answer to the the question, "[what] if programming languages could speak, really speak, not just crunch bytes and stream bits, they would have much to say that is both wise and profound.""

    Wait a second, that's not even a question. In fact, the whole statement doesn't make any sense.

  4. Whiny little bitches by corbettw · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Is it just me, or did all of the languages come off as whiny little primadonnas, complaining that they are not loved and worshipped as much as they themselves think they should be?

    For some strange reason, this strikes me as appropriate.

    --
    God invented whiskey so the Irish would not rule the world.
  5. Re:C by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Insightful

    Don't you mean "byte me"?

  6. The God is missing... by dargaud · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Halfway through I could imagine Assembler showing up with long blond hair, a torque, a hammer and lightning strikes...

    --
    Non-Linux Penguins ?
  7. VB..... by Tsali · · Score: 2, Insightful

    haiku

    My buffer overflows;
    I feed script kiddies so they
    can auto-send mail.

    /haiku

    --
    This space for rent.
  8. This sucks by PaddyM · · Score: 1, Insightful

    This was the biggest waste of time EVER! I totally waited through a slashdot effect just to read this stupid thing. This is more like "what if people who supported these languages complained?" Whoop de do.

  9. More proof that weblogs stink by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Insightful

    n/t

  10. Re:If assembler could speak... by PhxBlue · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Having worked with SQL for too damned long, I'd have to say, no - SQL isn't a programming language. It's a query language: a language which provides for databases what programming languages provide for normal systems. More specifically, it's a Structured Query Language. . . as if an unstructured query language would do anyone a whole lot of good.

    --
    !#@%*)anks for hanging up the phone, dear.
  11. Good Grief! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Insightful

    I think that might be the lamest thing I have ever read.