Slashdot Mirror
Microsoft Tries a "Switch" Campaign
Twirlip of the Mists writes "There's a new page on Microsoft's web site that tells the first-person story of an unnamed 'freelance writer' who made the switch from the Mac to Windows XP. The author of the page -- who never identifies herself, and who could very easily be fictional or a composite sketch -- says 'Windows XP gives me more choices and flexibility.' How, you ask? Why, through Microsoft Office, Internet Explorer, and modern operating-system features like separate accounts for each user and easy access to the Internet, of course. Maybe somebody should email Microsoft and let them know that the Mac has had all of these things for years now ... nah. It'd just embarrass them. Anyway, it's an entertaining read that's good for a laugh." Update: 10/14 21:12 GMT by P : Apparently, Microsoft has taken the page down, but Google has it.
If you can't beat'em, copy'em.
Yes®, it's® true®. I® like® the® Microsoft® Windows® XP® operating® system® enough® to® change® my® whole® computing® world® around®.
{Stuff deleted}
© 2002 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.
"Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus."
Their users are much better looking that the Apple ones.
Don't you figure that he/she might just be the freelance writer ... that Microsoft hired to write this advertising copy?
I love it!
Breakfast served all day!
Linux gives me more choices and flexibility.' How, you ask? Why, through OpenOffice, Mozilla, and modern operating-system features like separate accounts for each user and easy access to the Internet, of course.
Nero-burning ROM for Linux!
*Editor's Note: Now that we've successfully converted our writer to a Windows PC, we will be working on getting her to try a Pocket PC. Stay tuned for more developments!
So does this mean that they converted "the microsoft writer to M$" Wow they got their own employee to use their product after how many years, hmmm I am guessing at home she is still a MAC user....
The added touches of this "person" being 5-foot-3 and her husband six feet, and the "Lexus we rented once," was predicted by Philip K. Dick in his short story The Mold of Yancy. If you've read it, go read the Microsoft ad with an eye toward the similarity. It's creepy.
Who talks in Hyperlinks?
At least the Mac ads are believable.
--Azaroth
Part of her "testimony" is this classic line:
My recommendation is to go straight to Windows XP Professional; the extra features for mobile users are worth it. See Which Edition is Right for You? for more information.
Hilarious... like an actual customer would go hunt down links to recommend people buy the most expensive workstation OS they sell. God Microsoft, keep 'em coming, soon you'll be as funny as the Onion!
People shape laws. Not the other way around.
This makes Ellen Feiss and baby jesus cry.
I have a question to the guy who submitted this story: do you honestly believe that the people featured in Apple's Switch campaign are real? I mean, I know Tony Hawk is a real person. Ellen Feiss could be real, too. But when they speak about how cool macs are and how uncool PCs are, they do so because they got money from Apple. Their confessions are just about as real as those of the "fictional" and "composite" person from Microsoft.
The difference is that Apple paid someone to lie on TV and Microsoft put their story in the mouth of an imaginary person. Now who's more honest?
-jfedor
It's newsworthy-- in the Slashdot sense of "news," of course-- because it's funny. Microsoft's response to the Switchers campaign is so lame and so fake that it's funny.
Nobody has their "panties in a bunch." We're just kicking back on a Monday morning and enjoying a good joke. The fact that Microsoft made the joke-- inadvertently, at that-- just makes it that much more enjoyable.
IIRC, Microsoft targeted such an ad campaign at Mac people a couple years ago, albeit to get them to use IE & Office for Mac, not switch altogether. The campaign featured what were purported to be testimonials from satisfied customers, but M$ tipped its hand when it launched the ads too quickly, and had "customers" discussing their experience with the latest versions of M$ wares a few days before said versions actually shipped.
Not only is she a freelance writer, but she also models for stock photography - check it out. Or maybe they just threw in a stock image of a person...
Microsoft doesn't offer one reason to use XP that doesn't also exist in Mac OS X. Microsoft Office?
From the botom of the article:
Editor's Note: Now that we've successfully converted our writer to a Windows PC, we will be working on getting her to try a Pocket PC. Stay tuned for more developments!
I'm pretty sure that what's going on here is that Microsoft found a freelance writer to write glowingly about XP in exchange for free hardwaree and OS. Similar to the old tactic of giving aluminum siding to a family for free so the neighbors can see it in action. 10 bucks says she's on the MS payroll. Also, in response to the posters above who remarked that she is so much better looking than the women in the Mac ads: I'll bet the picture shown is not the writer of the article.
Could be totally wrong on both counts, but that's my impression
Evil is the money of root.
- Windows XP gives me more choices and
- flexibility, and better compatibility with the rest of the technology world.
...
Mobile computing? Versatility? I could swear she was the free-lance writer who wrote the mission statements of a dozen busted dot-coms. No wonder she's looking for cheaper hardware!I am a freelance writer; I demand the best in mobile computing.
There's no equivalent for the versatility of Microsoft Word, Excel, and PowerPoint®. Toolbars and menus customize themselves to the way I work.
I wonder if the switch helps her utilize her verticle portals too!
-- Ken Kinder ken@_nospam_kenkinder.com http://kenkinder.com/
The reality is there really are many Mac users who would happily appear on TV and say the same things. I know I'm one...
Don't you think there are people as similarily pleased with Linux that would appear in ads if given half a chance? Is it so hard to believe these people could be real?
I think there would even be such a group that would happily go up and proclaim the wonders of MS, why MS has chosen to craft a person instead is beyond me. I guess it's the need for total control.
"There is more worth loving than we have strength to love." - Brian Jay Stanley
Actually, it reeks of marketing monkey dung; it wreaks havoc on the olfactory glands that have to smell such dung.
Lack of eloquence does not denote lack of intelligence, though they often coincide.
``Anyway, it's an entertaining read that's good for a laugh.''
You think this is fun? This is FUD. Lies. Crap. Misinformation. Cheating. BAD BAD BAD.
I mean, advertising is one thing. Advertising the things you stole from others is quite another. XP is more multiuser than OS X? You'll make me laugh. Office XP has more features then Claris? Yes, it's called bloat and decreases usability. Besides, office runs on Mac, too.
MicroSoft Internet Exploiter faster does more for her than Netscape ever did? Yeah, popping up ads, loading up the borked MSN ActiveX control, loading Word documents inline so that people get the idea that they are a replacement for webpages. Searches go faster? Maybe if you are looking for the crap that M$ search comes up with...give me Google any day! And it's not like Netscape doesn't have history, either.
Connection Wizard - yes an old pal of mine. It's always the first program I removed. Not that removing is easy, you have to actually delete the directory it's in, or iexplore.exe will run it for you. WTF? I asked for _Internet Explorer_ not _Connection Wizard_. Why I get rid of it? Because setting up access to any provider I've used is easier without it, and because sometimes I just want to satrt a browser, without having to click away a bunch ow wizards first.
`` I started with Outlook Express for e-mail, because it's included with Windows XP.'' Here we have the fatal flaw that got us all those lovely email virii. I understand that the vulnerabilities have *finally* been fixed in the XP version, but God, did that take a long time.
``I copied hundreds of Web Favorites from the Mac onto a Zip disk, then into the Favorites folder on the PC. Internet Explorer has an Import/Export Wizard that you can use to import Netscape bookmarks, but I found it faster to do it this way.''
ROFL. Copied them to a Zip disk? Hilarious. It's called Linux. It can mount _your_ filesystem. You don't even have to buy a new computer to run it! And the OS is Free, as is most of the software you will want to use!
``Both Outlook Express and Outlook will import contacts and messages from other programs.''
Yes, and I trust that M$ have taken care that they are then saved in a proprietary format so that others can't pull the same trick on them...
``Later, I had to uninstall and reinstall Outlook''
Yes, welcome to Windows...
``The key to getting hardware to work with your computer is to have the correct drivers''
Indeed. And M$ have been so good as to make the XP driver interface incompatible with previous versions of Windows, so that if you install it on older hardware, you may not be able to get drivers for your components. A problem that Macs don't seem to have, but I might be rong.
``If not, go to the Web site of the company that makes the peripheral you want to attach to find the most current drivers.''
And download a 10+ MB file from their site that loads a lot of visual violence, advertisements, bells and whistles, and then tells me that I downloaded the wrong driver, even though the name of my device is almost exactly like the one the driver is for? Or worse, not being able to find out where to go for the driver, because all Windows has to say about it is ``PCI Multimedia Device''? Where is lspci -vv when you need it??
Pfff...it's been a while since I've been able to blow off so much steam...
Please correct me if I got my facts wrong.
Godfather Bill: What's this I hear about one of our freelance writers using a Mac? Make her an offer she can't refuse.
Scene 2: Anonymous writer's bedroom.
(The anonymous writer tosses and turns in bed, and rolls over, waking up. She notices something in the bed next to her and pulls back the sheet to reveal the severed LCD screen from her beloved iMac.)
Anonymous Writer: Aaaaah! Aaaaaah! OK, I'll switch!
See, the great part is that Microsoft tried doing A and B *together*! Now that's novelty.
I work in marketing too, and I think it is newsworthy because it shows that Apple's campaign is a success.
Since one can't generally can't make a correlation between an advertising campaign and increased sales (too much of a lag and too many factors), there are a few milestones for promotions that indicate success:
1. A coined term being adopted by the industry. In this case, "Switcher" is being used in all sorts of contexts, albeit in articles talking about Apple. But if someone in the computer industry uses the term "Switcher", most people in the know will think "Apple". I guarantee you someone in Intel's marketing department grins whenever an analyst talks soberly about "Moore's Law".
2. Grass roots movement/fan clubs: Exhibit A is Ellen Feiss. I doubt if anybody outside of Dell' marketing department builds fan sites for that annoying geek they're using
3. The competition is forced to respond to you. Pepsi constantly mentions Coke, but Coke never mentions Pepsi. But Pepsi's marketing department would love to see that happen. If anything, it's free advertising, because your product is being mentioned without you having to pay for it.
4. Finally, some sort of parody exists. I've seen a few on the web, but Apple would hit pay dirt if Saturday Night Live or someone painfully mainstream would do a parody. That would show that Apple's Switchers campaign has become a small zeitgeist, like the Mastercard "Priceless" ads.
The Microsoft ad was so bad because it was so easily dismissed. All the talking points could be dismissed just as easily as they are brought up. Make no mistake, someone in Apple's promotions department saw that pathetic Microsoft ad and grinned from ear to ear.
Insert simplistic political, ideological, or personal proselytization here.
This whole thing is a charade that Apple is a willing participant of. The whole point of the "switch" campaigns is to give the appearance of competition in an industry that effectively has none. Microsoft must be thrilled, because a totally leashed, client company (Apple) is making it look like competition is nipping at Microsoft's heels. Last week they tried the "Windows and Mac users can get along" campaign, which was spooky but not surprising, given the antitrust battles going on now.
Remember that the allegation made against MS is that they don't compete fairly with their real competiton. There are boxes of evidence to support this. On the other hand, there is the supposed couterexample of Apple: A high profile, low danger company that gives MS absolutely nothing to worry about. MS is in fact crying: "see, we are running a fair race! Look at Apple! We're not bullying them at all! We're really, really competing with them using--fair methods like advertising. And oooh, we're soooo scared that they would eat into our market share, so we find it imperative to run ads which prevent this! Our position on the desktop is soooo vulnerable!"
Well, I hoped that at least the slashdot crowd could see through this. I mean, we know that once Microsoft aputates both of your legs, they are perfectly willing to run a fair race against you. Witness that Internet Explorer is now finally uninstallable. However, suddently the Windows Media Player isn't. That's because RealMedia still (sort of) has its legs. Once they're off, the uninstallability problem will suddently disappear. My point is that Apple lies somewhere between Netscape and OS2 in terms of being a threat to Microsoft. However, there is much good PR to be gained by making it appear that the two companies are locked in fierce competition. So MS are milking it. The only surprise is that nobody is calling them on it!
Look at the article 'she' shows an example of a file open box .... obviously her real name is 'Don Funk' and quick google search shows 'her' email address is 'donfu@microsoft.com'
think you're missing the point. It's not the strategy that's amusing, it's the fact that it's such a poor effort. Microsoft doesn't offer one reason to use XP that doesn't also exist in Mac OS X. Microsoft Office? They have that for OS X. Multi-user? Yeah, OS X has that. Etc, etc.
But then again, the Apple switch ads don't offer a single reason to use a Mac that WinXP doesn't have. You can burn cds and dvds, which you can do on WinXP. You can make movies, whihc you can do on WinXP. Neither sides has any really good arguements, because people wouldn't respond to the good arguements (things like the cariety of software on Windows vs Mac or the better usage of the power of a Mac vs WinXP). Neither side really will convince someone to switch, it will just hopefully make them check out both and make a decision after looking at both of them.
"Information wants to be expensive" - Stewart Brand, the same guy who said "Information wants to be free"
- The woman in the picture looks like she's in the middle of a commercial for a yeast-infection or genital-herpes remedy. "With Windows, I don't have to be afraid to tell people what operating system I use. And that's a weight off my shoulders, so I can spend more time enjoying life."
- "It's about more and better." Wow. That's substantial and profound. I thought she said she was a "professional writer."
- Most of the page is devoted to explaining how to use wizards. If you need to explain how to use your wizards, your need to fire your usability team.
- She finishes her pitch by talking about installing drivers and finding more programs to convert her Mac documents every day: "I discover more treats daily. For example, Word Converters are helping me transfer old document files, Microsoft Works files, and even AppleWorks files. It will be an ongoing process, but I'm thrilled so far." In other words, she still hasn't been able to convert all her documents, and she expects it to be a long, ongoing process... and this is why Windows is "better?"
Personally, I don't think Microsoft wrote this. I think someone from Saturday Night Live broke into the MS server room and uploaded this.Old people with large beards?
Hmm.... That Ritchie guy sure is sexy. Donchathink? ;-)
How low can you get? Does anyone really BELIEVE this story? I sure hope not.
But at the end of the article, there are forms in PDF and Word (natch) where you can send in YOUR experiences with Windows. Come on Slashdotters, fill them out and send them in! PDF and Word
Here is the text of the document. It gets better...
Show Off Your Skills
Are you a whiz at using a Microsoft product at home or in the office? Are you the one everyone comes to when they need to know how to do something? If so, we'd love to see what you can do.
A whiz? ha ahaha I think they mean wiz. Oh brother.
We're collecting ideas for articles on the Microsoft Insider Web site. Some of your work or submissions may be included in a gallery on the site, featured in press releases, or developed into how-to articles.
This just in: Microsoft invents user-friendly HOWTO documents.
Note: We will not feature any of your work without first receiving your permission.
And having you sign away the rights to any experience you may have, or have had in the past to the sole ownership of Microsoft.
To participate, please send us:
Your first and last name
Name of your company or organization (if applicable)
Brief description of your company or organization, including industry and size
Brief description of which Microsoft product you use and how you use it
Personal contact information, including address, phone number and e-mail address
Samples of your work--either hard copies of your marketing materials or a Web site address where we can view your work. Please be sure to include any user names or passwords that might be needed.
WTF???
You can submit your sample(s) one of two ways:
1. For online materials, send an e-mail message with the subject line Microsoft Publisher Customer Stories to insider@microsoft.com. (Note: Please do not send any attachments over 1 megabyte in size.)
Or with any malicious VBscripts attached
2. For printed materials, send hard copies to:
Microsoft Insider Customer Stories Microsoft Corporation 9931 Willows Road Redmond, WA 98052 Microsoft will not share the information you provide with third parties without your permission except where necessary to complete the services or transactions you have requested, or as required by law.
My beliefs do not require that you agree with them.
but 'her' name is on there - look at the dialoig box - she's really 'Don Funk' (donfu@microsoft.com) .... and as has been pointed out below Don chose his photo from some publically available stock photos so that he could show a little more of his feminine side
Yes, there is. It's very much like Office XP, but without the pee that comes with with the Windows version...
Obliteracy: Words with explosions
Here's what I submitted as my XP switch story. :-)
P G? x=x&dasite=GETTYIMAGES&dareq=1A0C1F181E05 D2337394D32324055454243585F414E
You can use my personal photo from this web page:
http://delivery.gettyimages.com/comp/AA046139.J
8031402
My name is Linda Lee and here's my story!
"WindowsXP is great!"
OKay, I admit it! I've been a Linux user for years! You know, one of
those communists who thinks that everything should be free and forgets
to use deoderant. Recently, I was reading a totally unbiased
technical article in a magazine that informed me that the competition
just cannot stand up to Microsoft's (r) Windows (r) XP operating
system.
Let me tell you how lost I have been all these years, using free,
open-source software! What a waste of my life! As soon as I read
about all the great features, I threw some clothes on (shoes too!) and
ran out to my nearest CompUSA to buy a copy of Microsoft (r) Windows
(r) XP Professional for about 400$US. I got home, ripped the
shrink-wrap off, read over the draconian EULA (I don't mind giving up
some freedoms, Windows (r) is just too great), and immediately got to
installing.
After installation, I was unable to activate my copy of Microsoft (r)
Windows (r) XP. Sure, there was a little hic-up here, but after all,
you sometimes have to make sacrifices for quality! After about a
month of not being able to use my computer, customer support finally
just said I could use a "back-door" activation code. How wonderful
that Microsoft are helping me out at their own peril!
It only took me about three months to get me up and running! Girl
Scout's honor!
More Crashes, Less Work
Microsoft (r) Windows (r) XP lets me relax more through my busy work
day. With continuous crashes and reboots, I can spend more time
sipping coffee than doing my job! Microsoft (r) Windows (r) XP also
ensures that the work I do manage to get done is of the highest
possible quality. I demand that I be empowered to rewrite a document
I lost four times so I can be certain that it is very refined.
More Software Flexibility
Previously, I had access to hundreds of thousands of free software
products. But they were free, and we all know that anything that's
free is worth nothing! Now I can go out and spend anywhere from 50$US
to 5000$US dollars on a box with a CD-ROM disc in it! With a cost
like that, it ought to be some really good software!
Final Comments
If it wasn't for Microsoft (r) Windows (r) XP, I wouldn't bathe, use
deoderant, or wear clothes all day. I would just sit around and
stink, rotting in my house, getting fat! Thanks to my switch to
Windows (r), I'm healthy and have a great life! Thanks Microsoft (r)!
Why bother.
If the linked to site doesnt work for you (it doesnt for me under mozilla 1.0), get the image directly from here
Compare it to MS's image
He may not look like much, but his stays up longer.
A Pirate and a Puritan look the same on a balance sheet.
This kid is probably one of the best 13 year old writers I've ever seen! Encarta must save him so much time that he doesn't have to go to school anymore. He can continue with his modeling/freelance writer career.
Hey, there's a new encyclopedia - it's called "Google"!
And what about these people?
http://www.microsoft.com/insider/printhelp/
They're all smiling 'cause their #!@%ing XP printer driver finally installed. (sorry, couldn't find this in the stock photo archive. I'm sure it's there though)
This girl is obviously smiling because her Windows PC didn't crash and lose her History paper last night: href=http://www.microsoft.com/insider/homeoffice/ Stock Photo
Now here's a good one: http://www.microsoft.com/insider/productivity/
Stock Photo
Here dad is helping figure out what "fatal error in krnl32.dll means". Say, isn't that a mac they're using?
What the hell are these two looking at? http://www.microsoft.com/insider/finance/
Ah well, I think the whole site is just one big stock art catalog. Once again Microsoft doesn't create anything original...
While those are indeed reasons to switch, they aren't quite compelling.
Freedom from DRM.
So far, there is no DRM in Mac OS, and untill there is, that isn't a reason to switch.
Freedom to use the OS however you want to. I want to use my OS to get my daily work done. There isn't much beyond that that the OS has to do. This isn't really a clear argument, can you be more specific?
Freedom to tweak and change, even at code-level.
I rarely have the desire to do this. Most programs work perfectly fine for me, and for those that dont, I get an alternative program. Even still, this argument is only compelling for a minority of computer users, I believe the original poster's intent was compelling reasons for other people to switch.
Freedom to install the OS on any machine you want to without asking "Mother May I?"
Not quite. I can install it on any machine I want to, assuming that the machine is compatable with the OS hardware support. The main issue of course being that there are still seperate distros of Linux (PPC, x86, SPARC). When will we see a distro with all the nessesary code in one package, and a universal install?
Freedom from bullshit licenses and other nightmares.
I'll give you that one. But again, the argument could still be made that for most intents and purposes, Apple provides the same freedom to it's users.
Freedom from the vast majority of viruses and exploits.
Seems to me that that's a better argument to switch to mac than to linux.
Like I said, they're all very good reasons, but none of them are compelling to most users.
T Money
World Domination with a plastic spoon since 1984
Looks like they deleted it out of shame.
"Linux isn't living up to any of the claims that MS or Apple are making."
LOL!!
I can see the Linux ads now:
"So.. like, I bought this Firewire Video camera, and I like shot some footage of my dog and stuff... and like when I plugged the camera into my Linux laptop.. uh.. well it didn't work. So first I went to find a firewire driver. And uh.. well I couldn't find one of those, but I find a kernel update that had firewire support. So I downloaded and recompiled and typed this in and that in and that kind of worked. Then.. then I had to find a free-app that'd do DV-capture and editing. After a few days of posting news groups, I eventually did find one that sort of worked. Of course, I had to fix a bug or two for it to be useful. But hey! It's free!! Isn't that the great thing about Open Source? Fixes happen like really really fast. Anyway, so I sort of got that running... and uh now I can get video from my camera to my laptop. It only took a few weeks! So like there's no way I'm going back to Windows now because I put all this damn effort into this and finally got it working.
My name is Ronald and I'm a Linux Zealot."
It's a joke, laugh.
But then again, the Apple switch ads don't offer a single reason to use a Mac that WinXP doesn't have.
And you've completely missed the exact same thing that Microsoft missed about the Switch campaign.
The point isn't to show these people talking about all the things they can do with their macintoshes. The point is to show how happy that all these people are about all these things that they can do with their macintoshes. The point is demonstrate to all those disgruntled windows users in the Great Unwashed, using real people, that computing can actually be a pleasurable experience.
Apple doesn't want you to pay attention to what any of those people in the Switch ads are saying. What they want you to pay attention to is the quiet, joyful glow in Ellen Feiss' eyes as she talks about how happy she is that she doesn't have to worry anymore about the computer going all, like, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP and deleting, like, half her paper. (And it was a really *good* paper.)
They want people to see these Switch ads and go, "Wow. These people all seem to actually enjoy using their computers. I don't enjoy using my computer at all. Maybe if I bought an apple, I'd enjoy using my computer too."
(Of course, usually the ACTUAL effect is that people see that quiet glow and they go "Wow. Maybe if I started smoking pot, I'd be happy too". Or they start stalking Ellen Fiess. But the point is the intent of the whole thing.)
This is why the switchy-PR thing on MS's website is such a joke. [S]he's describing how "great" her experience with WinXP has been, but the experience that she describes sounds about as fun as a trip to the DMV in which the line was short and you managed to get in and out and get everything you needed done without particularly any hassle. Meanwhile, any emotion that there is in the article feels about as real as Anne Coulter.
Irritable, left-wing and possibly humorous bumper stickers and t-shirts
I think the Apple switch campaign was the best advertising they could have gotten. Every time I see one of those smug, smarmy bastards talking about why they switched, it just makes me cling to my cvrappy Windows box more, out of spite. It's like those "The Truth" anti-smoking ads, that make you want to start going at a pack a day, just to shut the little punks up.
That someone might use stock photographs as design elements on a web page!
Sure, the 'testamonial' picture would lead you to belive that the person pictured actualy wrote the artical, but most of those pictures are just headings to pages with lots of links.
autopr0n is like, down and stuff.