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Chrysler Adopts Linux For Vehicle Simulations
eMilkshake writes "According to this ComputerWorld article, Chrysler is adopting Linux for vehicle crash testing. According to the article, 'the new system is expected to improve simulation performance by 20%, while saving about 40% in costs....'" Insert knee-jerk reaction joke about computers and crashing here.
What OS will the crash test dummies run?
FoundNews.com - get paid to blog.,
Better served by windows.
Multiple Intel Xeons, a few terabytes of gigabit speed network storage. I wonder what FPS they get in Tux Racer. :)
HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
Customer: "I got in my car and closed the door and nothing happened!"
HelpLine: "Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?"
Customer: "What's an ignition?"
HelpLine: "It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery
and turns over the engine."
Customer: "Ignition?Motor?Battery?Engine?How come I have to
know all these technical terms just to use my car?"
In the name of efficiency I've decided to combine all of these exceedingly clever jokes into one package!
Cmdr_Taco: What happen? ... .
...
Mechanic: Somebody set us up the troll article.
Operator: We get signal.
Cmdr_Taco: What !
Operator: Main screen turn on.
Cmdr_Taco: It's you !!
Katz: How are you gentlemen !!
Katz: All your little boys are belong to us.
Katz: You are on the way to your spelling sucks.
Cmdr_Taco: What yuort say !!
Katz: You have no chance to survive make your time.
Katz: Ha Ha Ha Ha
Cmdr_Taco: 1. Take off every "sig."
Cmdr_Taco:
Cmdr_Taco: 3. Profit!
?-|||-----x<*))))><
After running a simulation on windows to simulate a simulation crash of their testing simulations.
--"The perfect example of the man of action is the suicide." - William Carlos Williams
Headline, six months from now:
The more I learn about the Internet, the more amazed I am that it works at all.
MS-DOS: You get in the car and try to remember where you put the keys.
WINDOWS: You get in the car and drive to the store very slowly, because attached to the back of the car is a freight train.
MAC SYSTEM 8: You get in the car to go to the store and the car drives you to church.
UNIX: You get in the car and type GREP STORE. After reaching 2000 mph en route, you arrive at the barber's shop.
WINDOWS NT: You get in the car and write a letter that says 'go to the store'. Then you get out of the car and nail the letter to the dashboard.
TALIGENT/PINK: You walk to the store with Ricardo Montalban who tells you how wonderful it will be when he can fly you to the store in his Learjet.
OS/2: After fuelling up with 6000 gallons of gas you get in the car and drive to the store with a motorcycle escort and a marching band in procession. Halfway there, the car blows up, killing everyone in town.
S/36 SSP: You get in the car and drive to the store. Halfway there you run out of gas. While walking the rest of the way you are run over by kids on mopeds.
AS/400: An attendant kicks you into the car and then drives you to the store where you watch everyone else buy filets mignon.
BeOSYour car goes faster, looks better, draws amazed stares everywhere you go, and has amazing preformance. Yet, when you try to fill it up, you find that it is incompatable with almost all know gas products.
Once
There were these guys who
Thought that using Linux would
Improve their product's safety
And when
they fin'ly did it
They found
Gates had set fire to their work
He said that it was because
The Sherman act had smacked him
sooooo hard
mmmmm mmmm mmmm mmm
mmmmm mmmm mmmm mmm
Ah, the good ol' Crash Test Dummies...we hardly knew ye.
We now have confirmed reports from an informed Orange County minister that Ethel is still an active communist.
HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
,000 for this car!Now you tell me that
Customer: "My car ran fine for a week and now it won't go anywhere!"
HelpLine: "Is the gas tank empty?"
Customer: "Huh?How do I know?"
HelpLine: "There's a little gauge on the front panel with a needle
and markings from 'E' to 'F'.Where is the needle
pointing?"
Customer: "It's pointing to 'E'.What does that mean?"
HelpLine: "It means you have to visit a gasoline vendor and purchase
some more gasoline.You can install it yourself or pay
the vendor to install it for you."
Customer: "What?I paid
I have to keep buying more components?I want a car that
comes with everything built in!"
HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
Customer: "Your cars suck!"
HelpLine: "What's wrong?"
Customer: "It crashed, that's what wrong!"
HelpLine: "What were you doing?"
Customer: "I wanted to run faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal
all the way to the floor.It worked for a while and then
it crashed and it won't start now!
HelpLine: "It's your responsibility if you misuse the product.What
do you expect us to do about it?"
Customer: "I want you to send me one of the latest version that
doesn't crash any more!"
HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
Customer: "Hi, I just bought my first car, and I chose your car
because it has automatic transmission, cruise control,
power steering, power brakes, and power door locks."
HelpLine: "Thanks for buying our car.How can I help you?"
Customer: "How do I work it?"
HelpLine: "Do you know how to drive?"
Customer: "Do I know how to what?"
HelpLine: "Do you know how to drive?"
Customer: "I'm not a technical person.I just want to go places
in my car!"
Four men rode in a car, a mechnical engineer, an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer, and a computer engineer. The car stalled out.
The mechnical engineer said it must be the pistons, let's repair them and we'll be okay.
The electrical engineer said it has to be the spark plugs, we'll replace them and be ready to roll.
The chemical engineer said it's got to be bad gas, we'll flush the system and be on our way.
They turned to the computer engineer. What do you think we should do?
Let's get out of the car and get back in.
So this might explain why the SGI Octane I just bought off eBay had chrysler.com nameservers referenced in it. /me wonders
"Evil will always triumph because good is dumb." -- Dark Helmet
Due to pressure from the FSF, since Linux was used as part of the car production process, GM will be forced to release the 2003 GNU/Taurus.
# Erik
...just kidding.
The next release of Tux Racer will have improved front and rear crumple zones, wing mounted side airbags, and will meet California emission standards.
134340: I am not a number. I am a free planet!
How about: BillGates goes out and purchases a Chrysler Lebaron. He drives off the lot and the car automatically crashes into a tree. He goes back to the lot and tells them what happened and they give him another one. This time he drives off the lot and the car immediately runs into a wall. He goes back to the dealer and the dealer says "I am sorry Mr. Gates, I don't know what is wrong with these cars". Bill replies, "Wrong, I don't know what you are talking about. They are running just perfectly".
Worst. Sig. Ever!
OK so they're using Linux to simulate car crashes, what will they use to simulate profits?
I think Enron used Windows.
kRash, the kAr kRash kOmputer package for KDE....
Burma?
Or maybe we'll see a Apple Switch Ad that features Crash Tests...
I was testing a car crash on the PC and it was like beeeeep beep beep beep beep beeeep! And then like half of my crash test was gone, and I was like unnnhhh...? It devoured my crash test.
It was a really good test. And then I had to test it again and I had to do it fast so it wasn't as good.
It's kind of...
a bummer.
Note to moderators: It's Funny, not off-topic.
LongTail SSH Brute Force analysis tool is here!
The wonders of IBM's PR department.
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart,in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car unless you bought "CarNT," but then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but it would only run on five percent of the roads.
7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "general protection fault" warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same sized butt.
9. The airbag system would ask "are you sure?" before deploying.
10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, you car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the cars performance to diminish by 50 percent or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.
12. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
13. You'd have to press the "start" button to turn the engine off.