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Go Stand By the Stairs, So I Can Protect You

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the phun-with-physics dept.

ewhac writes "It seems a programmer named Jetro Lauha, for his submission to the Assembly 2002 competition, decided to explore the realm of solid body physics simulations. So he wrote Porrasturvat -- 'Stair Dismount'. The game involves the application of force vectors to solid bodies connected by links with constrained range of motion, and observing their impact forces against other objects in the environment. ...Or, more colloquially, you push a guy down the stairs and see how much damage he takes. Apparently, any similarity between this game and the Terrible Secret of Space is entirely coincidental."

8 of 251 comments (clear)

  1. Any Similarity between this game by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    And Sim-WifeBeater is also an acccident.

  2. Re:The bug in this game... by meringuoid · · Score: 5, Funny
    You can get really high scores in this game by finding the "bug": I'll keep the hint minimal, but if you push hard on his foot, and try to push it down and back into the stairs, there's a chance he'll get stuck for a few seconds... resulting in very high scores.

    Do not listen to him, he is mistaken.

    You should _shove_ hard on his foot. Shove it down and back into the stairs. I am the pusher robot.

    --
    Real Daleks don't climb stairs - they level the building.
  3. For assembly 2002? I dont think so.... by GnomeKing · · Score: 5, Funny

    It seems a programmer named Jetro Lauha, for his submission to the Assembly 2002 competition, decided to explore the realm of solid body physics simulations

    thats what HE wants us to believe....

    Its quite interesting that the stairs were based on his local library and that he recently had an big argument with the librarian (who was, coincidently, sleeping with Jetro's partner)

    But, of course, last sundays accident was a horrible coincidence and he honestly didnt mean to stumble and push the librarian on the upper left arm at a 37.6 degree angle or anything...

    Which is another amazing coincidence because thats precisely how the highest (non-buggy) score submitted to his website was achieved!

  4. Damn you by jukal · · Score: 5, Funny
    Or, more colloquially, you push a guy down the stairs and see how much damage he takes

    I actually have played that game a couple of times, and now you pushed the website down the stairs with the /. effect! What do you expect I will do with my obsession to push people, when I next take the stair down to leave the office :)

    ** Ohh, this is the perfect chance to plug the analysis of the slashdot effect once more.

  5. Oh, it's like that... by flippet · · Score: 5, Funny
    Was anyone else dissappointed when they found out it was just a computer game?

    Phil, just me

    --
    "Cattle Prods solve most of life's little problems."
  6. Interesting license ;) by oniony · · Score: 5, Funny
    Now I've read the license, all is clear:

    COPYRIGHT LICENSE - KOPIO-OIKEUS LISENSSI

    "This material" (hereafter D6y893) is not freeware. It is owned by "the
    author" (hereafter L6kld8j4). "You" (hereafter 8q39ys) are allowed to copy
    it without restrictions for non-commercial use.

    No payment of any kind may be charged for D6y893 or any combination
    of products or services including D6y893 without L6kld8j4's authorization
    and official written license.

    Commercial use, especially the industrial manufacturing on any data
    storage media and their distribution without the expressed permission of
    the producer, is strictly prohibited.

    D6y893 or the data files contained therein may not be altered or
    modified without the permission of L6kld8j4.

    8q39ys take full responsibility for the operation of D6y893 and any
    consequences thereof. L6kld8j4 can not accept liability for damages
    or failures arising from the use of D6y893.

    In case of dispute arbitration the place of arbitration shall be Helsinki,
    Finland. The language of arbitration shall be Finnish.

    I'm sure it must L6kld8j4's ability to come up with a novel slant in D6y893 that makes it so appealing to 8q39ys.

    8q39ys.
    --

    Powered by onion juice.

  7. only one flight? by Hadlock · · Score: 5, Funny

    i was hoping this would be like a stairwell, where you had to angle the guy around the corner to get to the next set of stairs.... or maybe knock him upwards so he "grinds" on the hand rail.... that'd be pretty sweet. still, a really fun game, even if it does render horrendously slowly on a meager K6-2 300. the slow mo sure is entertaining, though.

    --
    moox. for a new generation.
  8. Productivity just went negative by back_pages · · Score: 5, Funny
    This is the best game ever. This is the best game ever. EVAR!!!11 I would happily pay money for future versions. Make it more sporting. Include different geography. Level 1, the simple residential flight of stairs. Level 10, the stairwell of a three story office building. The method for determining injuries is good, but it could be better. Others pointed out that its all impact; include strain and compression. Limit the joints range of motion a little bit. (Oh no, boss is coming!)

    (He's gone, shew.) Handrails and doorknobs would be a plus. You could include some quirky plot, make it like Thief. You have to sneak around the office, driven by some unexplainable urge to shove people down stairs. Leave it unexplainable and focus on gameplay. If there's a witness, you get caught, game over. If the victim isn't hit hard enough in the head, he can tell people what happened, game over. And of course, powerups!