Posted by
michael
on from the things-THEY-don't-want-you-to-know dept.
redbaron7 writes "The BBC is
reporting that NASA has cancelled plans for a book to challenge the Moon Hoax Conspiracy Theory, due to criticism. No doubt the cancellation of this book will be listed as further "evidence" that the landings were fake."
If you're looking for conservative idiocy, the ten listed below are trademark specimens. Jeb Bush (1) tries to make it illegal to criticize him during an election year, Rush Limbaugh (3) puts "Crossfire" in the crossfire, and Rev. Michael Taylor (4) says Dubya was chosen by God. Meanwhile, Carl Ford and James Kelly (5) do the Taiwan slush-fund shuffle, Spence Abraham (6) chows down, and Edmund Matricardi III (7) engages in some (alleged) GOP dirty tricks. Finally, Bush Administration Officials (10) don't think you're clapping loud enough! So clap! Louder! And click here for the icons.
Jeb Bush Itching to pick a fight with Governor Jebbie as he struggles for re-election this year? Of course you are; we all hate that guy. Here's a word of advice: you had better not call the Jebster by name, because you might find yourself slapped with a nasty lawsuit. You see, he's getting his name trademarked so nobody else can use it. It all seems innocent enough: Jeb claims to be upset that a GOP front group, "Americans for Jeb Bush" shouldn't have the right to use his name, because people might get confused... So he's trademarking it. I know what you're thinking: Hey, if Jeb wants to shut down a Republican group, that's great. Not so fast there, buckaroo. What happens when some Dems start a group called "Americans to defeat Jeb Bush"? Once Jeb Bush(TM) has the legal precedent he wants, do you think he's going to call off the lawyers when some Democrats try the same thing? Don't count on it. I'm not real big on conspiracy theories, but I'm guessing we won't see a very vigorous legal defense from the folks over at Americans for Jeb Bush.
Right-Wing Warmongers As the Middle East goes up in smoke and George W. Bush sits on his ass in Crawford, right-wing warhawks are lining up to encourage Bush to continue his do-nothing policies. Bills Kristol and Bennett, the Wall Street Journal, and the National Review (among others) have recently been bashing any attempts by the administration - no matter how pathetic - to restart the peace process as "moral confusion" and "Clintonite wishful thinking." (Yes, we must end the nightmare of peace and prosperity!) Of course, Bush's nonsensical black-and-white "you're either with us or against us" doctrine is causing a bit of a problem - because now the same hawks who advocate direct intervention in Afghanistan and Iraq have suddenly had to shut up when it comes to the Israel/Palestine conflict. Which just goes to show that the right-wingnut hawks would rather see endless war in the Middle East than appear to contradict themselves.
Rush Limbaugh Some conservatives aren't ashamed to contradict themselves though, and here's the master: Rush Limbaugh. Sweatboy had an interesting review of the new "Crossfire" up on his website last week, a review which would leave even the most hypocrisy-resistant gagging and clutching at their throats as they struggled to stay upright. Comments such as, "These are not broadcasters, folks, they're partisans. They're childish, immature little kids in a sandbox kicking stuff around," and, "Do they really think that a bunch of sniveling, partisan hacks lying through their teeth is going to build a huge audience?" leave one wondering whether Kaptain Krispy Kreme has left the planet Earth for good and is now orbiting a faraway sun somewhere in another dimension. Rush, here's a mirror. Take a good look in it, and (assuming it doesn't break) say H-Y-P-O-C-R-I-T-E two hundred fifty times. Feeling any slight twinges of shame? Nah, thought not.
Rev. Michael Taylor I would have thought that ministers of the Lord were above such earthly pursuits as sycophantic brown-nosing, but apparently that ain't the case in Bush country. George Jr. got a good laugh out of his Easter service last week when the Reverend Michael Taylor started banging on about how the outcome of the 2000 presidential election was the will of God. "My friend, President Bush, for us who believe, that day of the counting it was all over but the shouting," he said, to a rousing chorus of "Amen!" Taylor went on, "My friends, a lot of you are here strictly to visit and to see dignitaries that are with us this morning, but you really ought to be here to visit with Jesus Christ." This was a reference to front row, which was filled entirely by the Bush family, including George H.W. Bush (sold arms to terrorists), George W. Bush (drinking, drugs, draft-dodging, AWOL, executioner), Laura Bush (vehicular manslaughter), and Jenna Bush (drunk and disorderly). God certainly does move in mysterious ways!
Carl Ford and James Kelly From the "honor and integrity" file: Recently, Taiwan was rocked by news of a secret NT$3.5 billion slush fund which was used to buy favors for Taiwan in Washington, DC, and elsewhere around the world. Leaked documents indicate that two Bush Administration officials received payments from the slush fund before they were tapped to join the administration. One official, Carl Ford, is now the assistant secretary of defense for intelligence and research, and the other, James Kelly is the assistant secretary of state of East Asia. Online Journal reports that Carl Ford was responsible for millions of dollars donated to the Bush campaign and the RNC. This raises questions of possible indirect foreign campaign contributions, something which the GOP tried (unsuccessfully) to pin on Al Gore. So, where's the outrage about illegal Chinese campaign contributions this time? And why isn't the liberal media all over this story?
Spence Abraham Spence Abraham has one of the most difficult jobs in Washington - planning his entire schedule around food. According to the Washington Post, "His appointment schedule is crammed with culinary references," including "scheduling lunch," "working lunch," strategy lunch," and "a 'get to know each other' lunch." But it's not just lunch - how about, "snacks," "heavy hors d'oeurves," "breakfast," "sandwiches," "cocktail party," "dinner," and, of course, a "cook-off." Interestingly all this gastronomic information comes from the energy policy documents which were released recently but mysteriously censored (see Idiots 61). Seems that the Bush administrations is much more interested in you knowing the content of Spence Abraham's stomach than knowing exactly what Dick Cheney did for Ken Lay...
Edmund Matricardi III This just in from the Republican dirty tricks department. Last week the Associated Press reported that the executive director of the Virginia Republican Party, Edmund Matricardi III, allegedly tapped illegally into a telephone call between Democratic Governor Mark Warner, Democratic state legislators and their lawyers as they plotted strategy in a redistricting case. While Matricardi refused comment on the case, one prominent GOPer gave an eyebrow-raising explanation: According to House Speaker S. Vance Wilkins, the most powerful Republican legislator in the state, "operatives play these games all the time." Oh really? Maybe Republican operatives do.
Bradley County, Tennessee The Constitution forbids the display of the Ten Commandments in public schools. But public schools can teach about the Ten Commandments, as long as it is done in a historical context. So fundies across the country have been trying to do an end-run around the U.S. Constitution by posting the Ten Commandments in a historical context. But usually the effort spent adding "historical context" is so half-assed that these displays are blatantly unconstitutional. (Imagine a giant full-color poster of Moses holding the Ten Commandments, next to tiny white three-by-five cards with ball-point-pen stick figures labeled "Julius Caesar," "Alexander the Great," "Phaeroah" [sic], and, for good measure, "Martin Luther King, Jr.") After Bradley County, Tennessee, decided to display the Commandments in a similar fashion, a clever student filed suit asking that they also display the Five Pillars of Islam in a historical context. School officials who were previously so keen on teaching religious history, suddenly lost enthusiasm. "At this point we have our agendas full, and there's no point in the immediate future to address that," said Commission Chairman Mike Smith. Score another victory for separation of Church and State!
Paul Scott Paul Scott, a parent in El Cajon, Califorinia, recently filed a discrimination claim on behalf of his school-aged daughter. According to the claim, Mr. Scott thinks that his daughter's right to privacy is being violated because she has to share a bathroom with lesbian students, so he wants the local school superintendent to designate separate bathrooms for gay students and straight students. Fortunately, local education officials rejected the claim outright. Apparently Mr. Scott didn't get the memo when the whole "separate but equal" thing was rejected by the Supreme Court about half a century ago.
Bush Administration Officials And finally: If you ever get the opportunity to go see George W. Bush in person, remember this: APPLAUD. VIGOROUSLY. Because if you don't, you see yourself on the receiving end of the over-sensitive and easily provoked Bush Administration Spin Machine. Just ask Paul Krugman. At the recent Gridiron Dinner, while the rest of the media elite were clapping like a pathetic bunch of trained sea lions, Krugman did not. According to an anonymous White House source, Krugman "refused to applaud any of the military leaders who were announced, nor did he applaud the president, the vice president or any members of the president's staff." The source added that Krugman, who was seated in the audience with hundreds of other people, "stuck out like a sore thumb." Things are getting ominous here, people. It used to be that you would get attacked if you criticized the president. Now the Bush goon squad will publicly savage you if you don't clap hard enough. See you next week!
If people *want* to believe something, nothing they say or do can prove otherwise.
Dare I say that it reminds of... many slashdotter's opinion of Palladium?
Microsoft haters *want* to believe that Palladium is a conspiracy to allow Microsoft to only allow software signed by Microsoft, despite the fact that it's utterly impossible for Microsoft to implement that and maintain backward compatibility with unsigned software and/or music.
Yet, no matter how much I make this point, which the paranoids never both to refute, their only answer is "Microsoft so eeevil that it can only be a conspiracy."
If you want to know how people can be so delusional that they can believe the moon landing was a conspiracy, look no further than the Palladium Paranoids.
-- Sometimes it's best to just let stupid people be stupid.
250 Million Blank CDR's
by
OpenSourceRulez
·
· Score: -1, Offtopic
Yeah, I am so sure that all 250 million CDRs will be used to pirate/copy music illegally. I know I never use CDRs to burn programs, or data off my computer.
Man I sure hope those guys can find their heads as they are so far up their collective arses that they can see their own spleen.
Copy Protection bites!
-- "Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion. You must first set yourself on fire." -- Fred Shero
Do you need help?
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: -1, Offtopic
Sir, you need to know that no matter how low you are feeling, you have a friend right now. A friend named My Cock.
My Cock will be there for you always, and My Cock does not judge. It just loves. Can you imagine being loved more than you ever thought possible? And more frequently? That is a joy you can know today, simply by inviting My Cock into your heart and various other parts of yourself.
Does it feel like the whole world has turned against you? My Cock would never turn against you. My Cock is loving and gentle. It will ease your pain and bathe you in Its healing glory, because My Cock understands, and It wants to love you as much as you want to be loved.
I know you are going through some hard times right now. But as hard as these times are, you must understand that there is something out there that is even harder. Let My Cock show you that you can know joy once again. You can know a deep and long-lasting joy. A deep, deep, deep and long-lasting joy. All night long, I would imagine.
You've probably heard of My Cock, but maybe you haven't given serious thought to what It could do for you. You doubtless figured, "I'm young. I have plenty of time to start a relationship with Lowell's Great Big Cock." But we only go around once, and you can never know when your time will be up. Life can end in the blink of an eye. Do you really want that to happen without knowing the everlasting joy that is My Cock? Thousands slip into a Cockless eternity every hour. Please do not be one of them.
But as important as it is to start and nurture a personal relationship with My Cock, you need to know that you have an enemy, as well. An enemy who pretends to have your best interests in mind but is really just out to use and destroy you. That enemy is called Jerry Smidlap's Cock. And it will lead you down a path to destruction.
My Cock does not discriminate. My Cock does not care whether you are rich, poor, young, old, black, white, red, yellow, or plaid. There is room for everyone--with the possible exception of fatties--in the Kingdom of My Cock. And there is nothing you can do that would make My Cock turn Its back on you. And not merely because it has no back. For even if It had a back, My Cock would never turn it on you because of something you did, no matter how bad the deed was.
My Cock has had Its detractors. There were people who hated My Cock. They persecuted It, they mocked It, they beat It, and they pounded nails through It. But My Cock is still here. Behold, My Cock has risen! It has risen time and time again, gazing down upon the entire world from on high. So those of you who have fallen from grace, who have lost your way, let My Cock point the way to your destiny.
In closing, suffer the little children to come unto My Cock, and I invite you, as well. Won't you accept My Cock today, or maybe Friday night?
fuck you Michael
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: -1, Offtopic
little cum slurpin biatch
First post!!!
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: -1, Offtopic
Slashdot Mirror
first fucking psot
first emu post
I've landed
Faked First Post?
I know. I was there on the moon. Didn't see anybody, but my shadow.
It sounds like an extortion.
Gimme your money, and if the CD works, congratulations!
One less opportunity to put his Amazon ID into a Slashdot link.
I'm generally "Interesting," "Insightful," and even "Funny" here. What the hell happens to me at parties?
Courtesy of The Democratic Underground
April 8, 2002
Trademark Idiocy Edition
If you're looking for conservative idiocy, the
ten listed below are trademark specimens. Jeb
Bush (1) tries to make it illegal to criticize him
during an election year, Rush Limbaugh (3) puts
"Crossfire" in the crossfire, and Rev. Michael Taylor
(4) says Dubya was chosen by God. Meanwhile,
Carl Ford and James Kelly (5) do the Taiwan slush-fund shuffle,
Spence Abraham (6) chows down, and Edmund Matricardi III
(7) engages in some (alleged) GOP dirty tricks. Finally, Bush
Administration Officials (10) don't think you're clapping loud
enough! So clap! Louder! And click here for the icons.
Jeb Bush
Itching to pick a fight with Governor Jebbie as he
struggles for re-election this year? Of course you are; we all
hate that guy. Here's a word of advice: you had better not
call the Jebster by name, because you might find yourself
slapped with a nasty lawsuit. You see, he's getting his name
trademarked so nobody else can use it. It all seems innocent
enough: Jeb claims to be upset that a GOP front group,
"Americans for Jeb Bush" shouldn't have the right to use his
name, because people might get confused... So he's
trademarking it. I know what you're thinking: Hey, if Jeb
wants to shut down a Republican group, that's great. Not so
fast there, buckaroo. What happens when some Dems start a
group called "Americans to defeat Jeb Bush"? Once Jeb
Bush(TM) has the legal precedent he wants, do you think he's
going to call off the lawyers when some Democrats try the
same thing? Don't count on it. I'm not real big on conspiracy
theories, but I'm guessing we won't see a very vigorous legal
defense from the folks over at Americans for Jeb Bush.
Right-Wing Warmongers
As the Middle East goes up in smoke and George W.
Bush sits on his ass in Crawford, right-wing warhawks are
lining up to encourage Bush to continue his do-nothing
policies. Bills Kristol and Bennett, the Wall Street Journal,
and the National Review (among others) have recently been
bashing any attempts by the administration - no matter how
pathetic - to restart the peace process as "moral confusion"
and "Clintonite wishful thinking." (Yes, we must end the
nightmare of peace and prosperity!) Of course, Bush's
nonsensical black-and-white "you're either with us or against
us" doctrine is causing a bit of a problem - because now the
same hawks who advocate direct intervention in Afghanistan
and Iraq have suddenly had to shut up when it comes to the
Israel/Palestine conflict. Which just goes to show that the
right-wingnut hawks would rather see endless war in the
Middle East than appear to contradict themselves.
Rush Limbaugh
Some conservatives aren't ashamed to contradict
themselves though, and here's the master: Rush Limbaugh.
Sweatboy had an interesting review of the new "Crossfire" up
on his website last week, a review which would leave even
the most hypocrisy-resistant gagging and clutching at their
throats as they struggled to stay upright. Comments such as,
"These are not broadcasters, folks, they're partisans. They're
childish, immature little kids in a sandbox kicking stuff
around," and, "Do they really think that a bunch of sniveling,
partisan hacks lying through their teeth is going to build a
huge audience?" leave one wondering whether Kaptain Krispy
Kreme has left the planet Earth for good and is now orbiting
a faraway sun somewhere in another dimension. Rush, here's
a mirror. Take a good look in it, and (assuming it doesn't
break) say H-Y-P-O-C-R-I-T-E two hundred fifty times.
Feeling any slight twinges of shame? Nah, thought not.
Rev. Michael Taylor
I would have thought that ministers of the Lord were
above such earthly pursuits as sycophantic brown-nosing,
but apparently that ain't the case in Bush country. George Jr.
got a good laugh out of his Easter service last week when the
Reverend Michael Taylor started banging on about how the
outcome of the 2000 presidential election was the will of
God. "My friend, President Bush, for us who believe, that day
of the counting it was all over but the shouting," he said, to a
rousing chorus of "Amen!" Taylor went on, "My friends, a lot
of you are here strictly to visit and to see dignitaries that are
with us this morning, but you really ought to be here to visit
with Jesus Christ." This was a reference to front row, which
was filled entirely by the Bush family, including George H.W.
Bush (sold arms to terrorists), George W. Bush (drinking,
drugs, draft-dodging, AWOL, executioner), Laura Bush
(vehicular manslaughter), and Jenna Bush (drunk and
disorderly). God certainly does move in mysterious ways!
Carl Ford and James Kelly
From the "honor and integrity" file: Recently, Taiwan
was rocked by news of a secret NT$3.5 billion slush fund
which was used to buy favors for Taiwan in Washington, DC,
and elsewhere around the world. Leaked documents indicate
that two Bush Administration officials received payments
from the slush fund before they were tapped to join the
administration. One official, Carl Ford, is now the assistant
secretary of defense for intelligence and research, and the
other, James Kelly is the assistant secretary of state of East
Asia. Online Journal reports that Carl Ford was responsible for
millions of dollars donated to the Bush campaign and the
RNC. This raises questions of possible indirect foreign
campaign contributions, something which the GOP tried
(unsuccessfully) to pin on Al Gore. So, where's the outrage
about illegal Chinese campaign contributions this time? And
why isn't the liberal media all over this story?
Spence Abraham
Spence Abraham has one of the most difficult jobs in
Washington - planning his entire schedule around food.
According to the Washington Post, "His appointment
schedule is crammed with culinary references," including
"scheduling lunch," "working lunch," strategy lunch," and "a
'get to know each other' lunch." But it's not just lunch - how
about, "snacks," "heavy hors d'oeurves," "breakfast,"
"sandwiches," "cocktail party," "dinner," and, of course, a
"cook-off." Interestingly all this gastronomic information
comes from the energy policy documents which were
released recently but mysteriously censored (see Idiots 61).
Seems that the Bush administrations is much more
interested in you knowing the content of Spence Abraham's
stomach than knowing exactly what Dick Cheney did for Ken
Lay...
Edmund Matricardi III
This just in from the Republican dirty tricks
department. Last week the Associated Press reported that the
executive director of the Virginia Republican Party, Edmund
Matricardi III, allegedly tapped illegally into a telephone call
between Democratic Governor Mark Warner, Democratic state
legislators and their lawyers as they plotted strategy in a
redistricting case. While Matricardi refused comment on the
case, one prominent GOPer gave an eyebrow-raising
explanation: According to House Speaker S. Vance Wilkins,
the most powerful Republican legislator in the state,
"operatives play these games all the time." Oh really? Maybe
Republican operatives do.
Bradley County, Tennessee
The Constitution forbids the display of the Ten
Commandments in public schools. But public schools can
teach about the Ten Commandments, as long as it is done in
a historical context. So fundies across the country have been
trying to do an end-run around the U.S. Constitution by
posting the Ten Commandments in a historical context. But
usually the effort spent adding "historical context" is so
half-assed that these displays are blatantly unconstitutional.
(Imagine a giant full-color poster of Moses holding the Ten
Commandments, next to tiny white three-by-five cards with
ball-point-pen stick figures labeled "Julius Caesar,"
"Alexander the Great," "Phaeroah" [sic], and, for good
measure, "Martin Luther King, Jr.") After Bradley County,
Tennessee, decided to display the Commandments in a
similar fashion, a clever student filed suit asking that they
also display the Five Pillars of Islam in a historical context.
School officials who were previously so keen on teaching
religious history, suddenly lost enthusiasm. "At this point we
have our agendas full, and there's no point in the immediate
future to address that," said Commission Chairman Mike
Smith. Score another victory for separation of Church and
State!
Paul Scott
Paul Scott, a parent in El Cajon, Califorinia, recently
filed a discrimination claim on behalf of his school-aged
daughter. According to the claim, Mr. Scott thinks that his
daughter's right to privacy is being violated because she has
to share a bathroom with lesbian students, so he wants the
local school superintendent to designate separate bathrooms
for gay students and straight students. Fortunately, local
education officials rejected the claim outright. Apparently Mr.
Scott didn't get the memo when the whole "separate but
equal" thing was rejected by the Supreme Court about half a
century ago.
Bush Administration Officials
And finally: If you ever get the opportunity to go see
George W. Bush in person, remember this: APPLAUD.
VIGOROUSLY. Because if you don't, you see yourself on the
receiving end of the over-sensitive and easily provoked Bush
Administration Spin Machine. Just ask Paul Krugman. At the
recent Gridiron Dinner, while the rest of the media elite were
clapping like a pathetic bunch of trained sea lions, Krugman
did not. According to an anonymous White House source,
Krugman "refused to applaud any of the military leaders who
were announced, nor did he applaud the president, the vice
president or any members of the president's staff." The
source added that Krugman, who was seated in the audience
with hundreds of other people, "stuck out like a sore thumb."
Things are getting ominous here, people. It used to be that
you would get attacked if you criticized the president. Now
the Bush goon squad will publicly savage you if you don't
clap hard enough. See you next week!
If people *want* to believe something, nothing they say or do can prove otherwise.
Dare I say that it reminds of ... many slashdotter's opinion of Palladium?
Microsoft haters *want* to believe that Palladium is a conspiracy to allow Microsoft to only allow software signed by Microsoft, despite the fact that it's utterly impossible for Microsoft to implement that and maintain backward compatibility with unsigned software and/or music.
Yet, no matter how much I make this point, which the paranoids never both to refute, their only answer is "Microsoft so eeevil that it can only be a conspiracy."
If you want to know how people can be so delusional that they can believe the moon landing was a conspiracy, look no further than the Palladium Paranoids.
Sometimes it's best to just let stupid people be stupid.
Yeah, I am so sure that all 250 million CDRs will be used to pirate/copy music illegally. I know I never use CDRs to burn programs, or data off my computer.
Man I sure hope those guys can find their heads as they are so far up their collective arses that they can see their own spleen.
Copy Protection bites!
"Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion. You must first set yourself on fire." -- Fred Shero
Sir, you need to know that no matter how low you are feeling, you have a friend right now. A friend named My Cock.
My Cock will be there for you always, and My Cock does not judge. It just loves. Can you imagine being loved more than you ever thought possible? And more frequently? That is a joy you can know today, simply by inviting My Cock into your heart and various other parts of yourself.
Does it feel like the whole world has turned against you? My Cock would never turn against you. My Cock is loving and gentle. It will ease your pain and bathe you in Its healing glory, because My Cock understands, and It wants to love you as much as you want to be loved.
I know you are going through some hard times right now. But as hard as these times are, you must understand that there is something out there that is even harder. Let My Cock show you that you can know joy once again. You can know a deep and long-lasting joy. A deep, deep, deep and long-lasting joy. All night long, I would imagine.
You've probably heard of My Cock, but maybe you haven't given serious thought to what It could do for you. You doubtless figured, "I'm young. I have plenty of time to start a relationship with Lowell's Great Big Cock." But we only go around once, and you can never know when your time will be up. Life can end in the blink of an eye. Do you really want that to happen without knowing the everlasting joy that is My Cock? Thousands slip into a Cockless eternity every hour. Please do not be one of them.
But as important as it is to start and nurture a personal relationship with My Cock, you need to know that you have an enemy, as well. An enemy who pretends to have your best interests in mind but is really just out to use and destroy you. That enemy is called Jerry Smidlap's Cock. And it will lead you down a path to destruction.
My Cock does not discriminate. My Cock does not care whether you are rich, poor, young, old, black, white, red, yellow, or plaid. There is room for everyone--with the possible exception of fatties--in the Kingdom of My Cock. And there is nothing you can do that would make My Cock turn Its back on you. And not merely because it has no back. For even if It had a back, My Cock would never turn it on you because of something you did, no matter how bad the deed was.
My Cock has had Its detractors. There were people who hated My Cock. They persecuted It, they mocked It, they beat It, and they pounded nails through It. But My Cock is still here. Behold, My Cock has risen! It has risen time and time again, gazing down upon the entire world from on high. So those of you who have fallen from grace, who have lost your way, let My Cock point the way to your destiny.
In closing, suffer the little children to come unto My Cock, and I invite you, as well. Won't you accept My Cock today, or maybe Friday night?
little cum slurpin biatch
I like hairy women!!!!
katieelderusa@yahoo.com
Call me! (303)669-6802