Slashdot Mirror
Living with Darth Vader
rppp01 writes "The BBC is reporting that Lucas Arts is putting the Star Wars universe online this December. Go here to read all about it. I know lots of people who are now starting to leave Everquest. Is this the next everquest? Will we have massive Star War fans calling in sick everyday in attempts to become a jedi? Will Jar Jar be friend or foe?"
I feel sorry for whoever ends up having to live with Jar Jar...
"Me sa no drinky your beer!"
There are only 10 kinds of people in this world... those who understand binary and those who don't
The Star Wars universe puts LucasArts online!
Savage Jarjar mutilation will be part of the dark jedi right of passage.
From the article, it would only be developped for the PS2, at least for now. One would expect that, to live in the dark side, that an XBox version be developped as well...
"Naughty, naughty, naughty, you filthy old soomka !"
I call first dibs on being the bartender at the Mos Eisley cantina.
i've been practicing:
"we don't serve their kind here"
mechanicos ergo cogito
There sure must be a lot of MASSIVE star wars fans. ;)
You know the kind who complain about conventions giving away medium sized bat utility belts..
Has anyone stopped to consider the effect this will have on Slashdot? We're talking about Star Wars geeks suddenly having a system that they can plug into 24/7 and utterly leave what little reality they have.
That means that visits to Slashdot could drop precipitously.
No traffic means VA systems could collapse!
DAMMIT MAN DO I HAVE TO SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU??
Star Wars universe => Star Wars geeks leaving Slashdot => No Slashdot traffic => CmdrTaco et al no longer being able to say 'Yeah, but we have traffic! The profit will come in eventually!" => Slashdot collapsing => CmdrTaco losing his job => CmdrTaco's wife leaving him => CmdrTaco committing suicide!!!
Save CmdrTaco's life! STOP THIS INSANITY AND SHUT DOWN THE STAR WARS SERVER!!
(won't someone think of the taco??)
It seems to me that keeping a Jar-Jar like character in the game is one of the smartest things that LucasArts could do - just from reading the posts on this thread so far, I can see that there are likely to be a large number of people who play the game just to see if they could kill Jar Jar.
The only problem is, if this replacing Everquest as people's new addiction, we'll need to come up with all new insulting derivatives based on drugs and illicit activites!
"Yeah, I finally quit playing EverCrack..."
"Why don't we see you out and about more?"
"Cause now I'm playing Star Whores..."
Just because I doubt myself does not mean I find your position compelling.
Where is "Star Wars Galaxies: Hot Date"?
"I bent my wookie!" --- The Simpsons
Now all I need is a game developer. Anybody want to join me?
Today's Sesame Street was brought to you by the number e.
Weesa all sinking and no power.
Courtesy of the Jar-Jargonizer that translates online text into Jar Jar speak.
---
When you come to a fork in the road, take it! --Yogi Berra--
Mr Sarris said that the Mos Eisley spaceport on Tatooine, where Luke Skywalker first meets Han Solo and Chewbacca in Episode IV, will take a game character 55 minutes just to walk across, let alone fully explore.
Now thats a slow server...
Dealer: Want to buy an MMORPG subscription?
Obi-Wan: You don't want to sell me an MMORPG subscription.
Dealer: I don't want to sell you an MMORPG subscription.
Obi-Wan: You want to go home and rethink your life.
Dealer: I want to go home and rethink my life.
"You spoony bard!" -Tellah
don't miss the point: it's not just about popping online and fragging some doods. the greatness of games like star wars galaxies lies in the ability of the player to do pretty much whatever he/she wants.
/me force jumps on top of the AT-ST /me force opens the hatch /me whips out my lightsaber /me flips out.
nevermind that previous MMORPGs were limited in terms of what you really _could_ do feasibly. the idea that you could be an Expert Basketweaver and survive in the game is pretty nifty. why? because it lets people enjoy their time doing what they wanna do.
i used to play everquest. i was on the test server. i didn't go around power leveling and camping for stuff all the time. my idea of fun was to be Emperor of the server and have my minions deliver their hard-earned booty to me. it was a fun game, because i got to play with friends (flesh-and-blood friends, mind you) and goof around.
that's right. i was Noodles VII, Emperor of Norrath, founder of the Furious Foodstuffs. with my comrades, Turnip, Pickle and Caper, we spread joy and goodwill unto the world. in return, they paid me taxes.
it was enjoyable. i got to do what i wanted to do. of course, after i modified my desk chair to accomodate a chamber pot, had my electricity shut off cause i didn't pay the bills, then again converted my desk chair into a power-generating bicycle to keep my machine on to play everquest, i realized that there are things more important than everquest in life.
like booze. and the money to buy booze.
but nevermind all that. i don't plan on playing star wars galaxies, but the idea of becoming Fukkit, cousin of Wikket, Master Jedi of the Forest Moon of Endor, appeals to me. it calls to me. just imagine how powerful you could be as Fukkit, Cousing of Wikket, Master Jedi! you could be KING.
that other ewok eating all your food?
You don't want to eat those grubs.
"I don't want to eat these grubs."
You want to give those grubs to me.
"I want to give these grubs to you. Here."
that stupid AT-ST ruining your forest crib?
that damn lEEthax0r playing a human princess shunning you?
Yo, j00 r gonna make teh sw33t luv 2 me.
"i r g0nna max0rz out wif j00."
dun worry, i furry, but i never in a hurry for a bebe like j00.
even han wouldn't be as smooth as me.
I can just see ebay now Not born with mitochlorions in your system? Don't want to mess with all that training and discipline to become a jedi? Having to much fun dabbling in the dark side to get accepted to jedi academy? No problems! You are bidding on this rare opportunity to instantly become a jedi. Light Side Comes with free light sabre (blue) Please check my feedback and bid with confidence. I accept Paypal, Check, Money Orders.. Bid early and bid often! May the force be with you!!
All that heavy breathing in the background will make every potential date think your some kind of purv.
Not funny you are.
Mess Stuff Up
...cybersex with Natalie Portman? OMFG!
Today's Sesame Street was brought to you by the number e.
The largest unruly mob in history, armed with blasters, ion cannon and starships, pursuing Jar Jar from planet to planet, wreaking untold virtual havoc in the process.
A 24-hour a day, non-stop lightsaber melee involving thousands of virtual padawans fighting over the Millenium Falcon.
Thousand-capital-ship attacks on the constantly respawning Death Star that make Episode VI look like a weekend at the lake.
Screen-capture demos of dozens of screaming, wild-eyed rebel scum crashing into the Emperor's throne room and throwing everyone into the reactor vent: the scarlet guards, Vader, Luke AND the Emperor, right after pulverizing Endor with the main weapons.
Yeah. Sounds great. I'll pass.
(and people complained about Diablo. HAH! Ain't seen NOTHIN' yet)
Just so that some punk-ass moisture farmer kid from a planet out in the sticks can blow it up? Play it safe, open a bar (or cantina) and take a commission on the bounty hunting contracts...
I'd rather be a Han Solo (and get some ass) than be Luke Skywalker (and get nothing).
Do you have any idea how pathtic that sounds? Star Wars is about the stuggle between good and evil. It's about facing your greatest fears. It's about looking right into you father's eyes and forgiving him for the sexual abuse when you were 12. Hope I didn't spoil Episode 3 for anyone.
Seriously, all dark-Jedi in training have to start practicing that long-distance choking trick on somebody...
THE GOOD HUMOR MAN CAN ONLY BE PUSHED SO FAR
Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode 2F18
"You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious."
No, wait. I was thinking of http://slashdot.org/
(Just kidding Taco.)
I.V.
"These laws they're passing won't even compile anymore, let alone execute." - anon
Just thought I'd check to see that the double standard is in full effect. "OOO SHINY!"
Will we have massive Star War fans calling in sick everyday in attempts to become a jedi?
A massive Star Wars fan doesn't have to call in sick. He already "works from home" and is, in all probability, a shut-in.
Homer: "Vent radioactive gas?" [types] Y E S.
"Sound alertness horn?" Y E S. [it sounds in the distance]
"Decalcify calcium ducts?" Well, give me a Y, give me a...Hey!
All I have to type is Y. [to Marge] Hey, Miss Doesn't-find-me-
attractive-sexually-anymore: I just tripled my productivity!
Marge: Good. Good for you.
Homer: Y. Y. Let's see, so many letters to choose from. I'll pick Y!
Y. Y. [sees SLH] Wha -- what the heck are you doing over there?
[Pushes SLH down to the floor.]
There, you found the floor.
SLH: Arf!
Homer: Y, Y, Y. Y. Y.
Marge: I'm going out, I run errands during the day.
Homer: Could you pick me up a lemonade and a beer?
[The door slams.]
You fools. Jar Jar single-handedly delivered the crumbling, pathetic Republic into the hands of someone who could bring peace, jobs and a good retirement plan to billions if not trillions.
The Empire rocks. The Rebellion is a group of those nasty T people. Death to the Rebel scum! Remember Yavin!
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