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Jupiter Forecasts 50% Increase In Spam

Posted by timothy on from the vomitous-bottom-feeding-triipeworm-roach-slugs dept.

Mr. Sketch writes "According to Yahoo, the amount of spam is expected to increase 50% in the next five years, meaning the average american will get over 3600 of them a year. The future of email is??"

8 of 469 comments (clear)

  1. There's a good side. by DarkHelmet · · Score: 5, Funny
    meaning the average american will get over 3600 of them a year

    But at least my penis will grow by an inch or two.

    And it'll always be hard thanks to those free viagra trials.

    --
    /^[A-Z0-9._%+-]+@[A-Z0-9.-]+\.[A-Z]{2,4}$/i
  2. Spam forecast by dr.Flake · · Score: 5, Funny



    Thus concludes the 8 o'clock news.

    And now for the Spam forecast for tomorrow we switch to our techie in the basement.
    john?, John are you there?

    Yes margret, we're here in the basement of one of our nations largest ISP's, are we're looking on the screen.

    As you can see, most spam will be concentrated in the north-west, and will slowly decent into the more southern regions of the nation. We can expect particulary heavy downfall of explicit spam, so parents, keep your children away from their mailboxes tomorrow!

    As for the rest of the week, I am sad to say that it doesnt look good. we're likely to see a further increase, as we have seen in the last 5 years in a row now.

    This has been John Geek from the basement of the heart of the digital world, back to you margret...

    --
    Why are other peoples sig's always more witty ???
  3. Re:Like we didn't see this coming? by ukryule · · Score: 4, Funny

    I get more "Enlarge your penis!!!" Emails than anything else right now

    I've got news for them... you CAN'T sell ice to eskimos.

    Sounds like someone is bragging :)
  4. Re:Like we didn't see this coming? by WaKall · · Score: 4, Funny

    Isn't Ctrl-D bookmark? It is in IE and Netscape for Win32, at least. Why are you bookmarking penis enlargment sites?

  5. Re:Like we didn't see this coming? by TheLink · · Score: 5, Funny

    AFAIK most human males enlarge their penis regularly, and it sure doesn't take 3 weeks like the spammers say :).

    Hmm maybe I should change the subject line. Maybe not :).

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  6. The average person will swallow 16 spiders... by dagg · · Score: 5, Funny
    During a lifetime the average person will swallow sixteen spiders while they are sleeping! We all know that that is because there is this one dude in Switzerland that swallows seven trillion spiders per year while he is sleeping. I won't ever swallow any spiders while sleeping, but that one guy messes up the average.

    Same theory with spam. Except my amount of spam will increase 1000fold, and yours won't increase at all. I'm messing up the average. I should probably stop soliciting impotence advice from Dr. Spam-alot.

    --
    Sex - Find It
  7. I kind of like spam by kingkade · · Score: 4, Funny

    It gives you the feeling that there are people out there who care enough to send you personalized, thoughtful solicitations. They wouldn't send it to you if they thought you didn't really, really be interested in the product they're selling.

    Also, it's pink and tasty.

    --
    why run from Vincenzo?
  8. In related news... by Alsee · · Score: 5, Funny

    Mercury Predicts: The sun will rise tomorrow.
    Venus Predicts: A slashdot reader will not get laid tonight
    Earth Predicts: You are here X
    Mars Predicts: Continued fighting in the Middle East.
    Saturn Predicts: More pictures will be taken of its rings.
    Neptune Predicts: An unsinkable ship will eventualy sink.
    Uranus Predicts: Someone will relpy to this post with a Goatse link.
    Pluto Predicts: Disney characters will not enter the public domain any time soon.

    -

    --
    - - You can't take something off the Internet! That's like trying to take pee out of a swimming pool.