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Why The Dinosaurs Won't Die
DaveAtFraud writes "Ace's Hardware has a nice introductory article to the animal that will not die: The Mainframe. Ever wonder why these things are still around and what makes them different from a PC or UNIX box? The article is IBM-centric so there's no discussion of say the CDC Cyber series but when most people don't even believe that mainframes exist anymore, what the hay, let's disabuse them of that notion first. Hopefully, the author will follow up with the additional promised articles that go into more technical detail but this is a good place to start. I wonder if they still make card readers, too?" This guide came out last month, but it's worth looking through, even just for the pictures.
what the hell does one of John Madden's old employers have to do with mainframes?
I hear the English language is still in use in England. Nowhere else, apparently.
...the dinosaurs were already extinct.
MAINFRAME repairs you!
The commercial was actually of a room full of machines being replaced by a single mainframe, which from what I can tell was a zSeries 800 running Linux, which makes me wonder what the point of your post was.
Just post a link to one of those suckers on /. we'll see who won't die in a minute!!
I stole this Sig
Parallel Sysplex. Damn, what a cool name.
***ActiveSX files a patent on "Imagine a Parallel Sysplex of those" posts.
Four decades of years ago a group of hyperjobless pantemporal employees at IBM got so fed up with the constant calls for tech support from moronic users... that they decided to sit down and solve their problems once and for all.
And to this end they built themselves and the world a stupendous supercomputer encased in a very large steel framed box the size of a small city. It was so amazingly intelligent that as soon as its DSADs had been connected up it started from I think therefore I am and managed to deduce the existence of P2P and the great wiki before anyone managed to turn it off.
On the day of the great turning-on, it said: "What is this great task for which I, the Mainframe, the second greatest computer in the Universe of Time and Space, have been called into existence?"
"The second ? There must be some mistake," said the programmer. "are you not a greater computer than the great Echelon at NSA which can predict acts of terrorism a year ahead in a picosecond?".
"The Echelon" said the Mainframe with unconcealed contempt. "A mere abacus - mention it not."
"What computer is this of which you speak?" he asked.
"The greatest computer in the universe", answered the mainframe after seven and a half years of comtemplation, "is the Beowulf ".
This guide came out last month, but it's worth looking through, even just for the pictures.
Proving once again that all of tech is just a giant picture book to timothy.
My state library system still has it's database running off an old mainframe from the late 80's. The card catalog search terminals are these funky old greenscreens.
So a couple months ago I went to apply for a new library card (haven't used the system in like 10 years). When I turned in my application, the Librarian ran my info through the system and informed me that I had an eight dollar overdue book fine outstanding from 1987. Ouch. Place was pretty crowded, too, she could've said it in a quieter tone of voice...
Perhaps a punch card virus... Then again, perhaps it will be when the smartest people in the world succumb to the growing ideal of technology for technology's sake.
--"It's Bradford Company, slash your last name, dot your first name"
Well there's always Adam's law:
The number of Hitchhiker references in an article is directly porportional to the complexity of the hardware under review.
And some of them probably have uptimes longer than many slashdotters have been alive.
I remember it used to be a cliche that "No-one ever got fired for buying IBM". Trouble is, I knew one IT manager in London who did get fired for doing just that at a Burroughs site.
...that point being that big iron is not about processing at all, but rather about manipulation of huge quantities of data that would choke even a beowulf of beowulf clusters in a matter of seconds.
But for those of you that still don't get it, here is a guide for the layperson:
It might be a mainframe if...
If you could kill someone by tipping it over on them, it might be a mainframe.
If the only "mouse" it has is the one living inside it, it might be a mainframe.
If you need earth-moving equipment to relocate it, it might be a mainframe.
If you've ever lost an oscilloscope inside of it, it might be a mainframe.
If it's big enough to be used as an apartment, it might be a mainframe.
If it has ever had a card-punch designed for it, it might be a mainframe.
If it weighs more than an RV, it might be a mainframe.
If lights in the neighborhood dim when it's powered up, it might be a mainframe.
If it arrived in its own moving van, it might be a mainframe.
If its disk platters are big enough to cook pizzas on, it might be a mainframe.
If Michael Jordan would need his entire annual salary to buy one, it might be a mainframe.
If keeping all of the manuals together creates a fire hazard, it might be a mainframe.
If it's so large that a dropped pen will slowly orbit it, it might be a mainframe.
If it's ever been mistaken for a refrigerator, (or if the disk drive
has ever been mistaken for a washing machine), it might be a mainframe.
If anyone has ever frozen to death in the room where it's kept, it might be a mainframe.
If it has a power supply that's bigger than your car, it might be a mainframe.
If it has its own postal code, it might be a mainframe.
If the operators considered the addition of COBOL to be an upgrade, it
might be a mainframe.
If it was designed before you were born, it might be a mainframe.
If its main power cable is thicker than your neck, it might be a mainframe.
If the designers have since died from old age, it might be a mainframe.
You can't expect any good mainframe developed in the year Leonardo da Vinci was born. All mainframes from the middle of 15th century suck, my word!
On the other hand, if you mainfraim was from the end of 15th century, you could at least expect this genius to do something about it.
MSDOS: 20+ years without remote hole in the default install