A Worried Parent asks:
"My 6yo daughter has been diagnosed with ADHD and is currently taking a certain stimulant whose name starts with R. I don't like it, but for the moment her happiness has improved, as opposed to when she's not medicated where she appears unhappy and frustrated with her inability to find her way in the world. She's sat through an IQ test, and the result was 147, which means she's better at doing IQ tests than 99.9% of 6 year olds. I wasn't that surprised but her teachers were, she's very clever but has difficulty following instructions - which is kind of a requirement in a classroom environment. If she's in a group of kids being given instructions she'll be looking at something else, playing with the grass, singing quietly to herself, etc. She'll suddenly become aware of all the kids wandering off to follow said instructions and then panic because she wasn't paying attention. In a group of people her attention just sort of switches off. I don't think this is something she can change. Any thoughts on how to help? Don't bother quoting the books on this one, i'm after first hand experiences. (i've read enough books :p)"
"Whatever the cause, she is quite different than most kids her age. I was much the same at her age and it was a pretty difficult way to grow up. I'd like to do what i can to make things easier for her.
Given that the Slashdot audience appears to mostly belong to the geekier end of the curve, is there any advice you can impart on parenting the geeky child... whether it comes from what did and didn't work for you as a kid, or what does and doesn't work for you as a parent of an obviously 'different' child.
Discipline is a bit of a problem but nothing that can't be handled. My biggest concern is that she'll grow up resenting her intelligence and being generally unhappy with who she is. The statistics are fairly clear on what happens to kids who grow up unhappy and with a low self esteem. Especially for a girl, in whom geekiness is seen as less socially acceptable.
Any advice?
Slashdot Mirror
I was....am. My kids are border. My wife teaches elementary school and visits this issue on a routine basis.
Two things...first, learn exactly what true ADHD is. Read up until you are sick of it. You need to be able to tell others with confidence how to distinguish true ADHD from other problems. This is never easy, unless you've suffered yourself. Also learn about dyslexia.
Second, remember your goal. This is to support your child. Not to defend yourself as a parent...not to cave in to a doctor or teacher without enough time to help your child. This is the hard part.
Good luck....
My 6-year-old, First Grade boy has ADHD, and is on the same medication as your daughter. From your story it sounds like they could be twins. Actually, he's on a time-release version, so there's no mid-day trips to the nurse for meds -- none of his classmates has a clue he's on medication, and I think that's an important point.
I can't say for sure, but looking back I'm guessing I, too, have ADHD, although milder than my son -- I learned to cope, but it's still hard to concentrate on boring tasks (e.g., work).
My advice is to listen to your daughter's doctors -- if they suggest medication, and if it helps her live a more-typical (I hate the label "normal") childhood, by all means go for it. It's certainly helping my son. One example: The difference in his drawing is amazing. He went from scribbling uncontrollably all over the page to coloring between the lines to drawing recognizeable images freehand -- in a matter of weeks! I forgot his medication one day, and it took me two hours to get to the school to give it to him. Later, at our first parent-teacher conference, his teacher said that she didn't consider him any different than any other child, until that morning. She could definately tell something was wrong (yes, we fully informed her of his ADHD before school started).
Good luck, hang in there, and ignore the jokers who say you're "drugging" your child.
If all this should have a reason, we would be the last to know.
I can't speak from the perspective of having ADHD, however, my 4 siblings and I all had what seems like a strange situation in school. All of us craved learning. We all read everything we could get our hands on from as young as 4 years old, and we all ended up in "gifted and talented" classes. Thing is, right about 6th grade, just about every one of us shut down and burned out on school, and every one of us had a hard time passing grade after grade all the way through high school. None of us ever lost the desire to learn, and we each went after our own interests full throttle, but it seems we were pretty bored with school most of the time.
I'm not speaking as an expert here, but I tend to think that school (public education at least) is not geared toward children who think for themselves. Instead, it's designed to indoctrinate to a certain extent. I remember being ridiculed frequently as a student, not only by the other students, but by the teachers, as well, and always having to back up my seemingly outlandish points that contridicted the common thinking on whatever subject was being taught.
My point is, probably one of the best things you can do is give your child the freedom to think for herself. Give her the option of deciding for herself if the teachers are telling her the truth and the best method to accomplish the tasks at hand. Obviously, she has to respect the authority, but she doesn't have to take the knowledge they impart at face value. Collectivists love public education, because it makes everyone "equal", but in the end, the unique individuals suffer and are labeled with hard-to-define learning disorders so the rest of the group can cope with the person that doesn't think like they do.
Remember, Edison and Einstein were both labeled as imbeciles by their teachers.