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Critics Pan Nemesis

CgiJobs writes "The critics aren't much impressed with the new Star trek: "The 10th entry in the Star Trek movie franchise ... is the dullest and drabbest of the lot"; "this ship-bound and lackluster entry tells a rather harebrained story"; "suffers from a nasty case of the cutes"; More at Google News. Of course, I'll still be going to see it." Calling this movie the worst of the series is a pretty harsh criticism...

Reader NCC1701E submitted a short write-up on the movie:

"First, the executive summary: wait for the video. Now, the Gory Details, in all their splendor. I somehow received an email invitation to an advance screening to the Paramount Theater in Times Square, here in NYC. I had to wait in line for 30 minutes, and there was some confusion in swapping my email print out for a pass. But they didn't even check names against a list; it was basically first-come, first served among those who had been inveigled there through various means. In the end, there were even some empty seats. The movie itself? Basically disappointing. IMHO, the weakest entry yet in the series. Production values and special effects were excellent. And it was great to see the movie in a big theater with Dolby sound. But NEMESIS is little more than a Western type "shoot out" movie. The bad guys attack. The good guys fight back, Then, there's more attacking and more fighting back. Then it happens again. And again. You get the idea. I'm a sucker for the hokey humanism that was the hallmark of Star Trek at its best. There was very little of that on display here. In fact, there was very little in the way of a plot. Just some mildly amusing cutesy scenes, plus some murky musings about the nature vs. nuture debate re: a Picard clone. So I didn't much care for the movie. And judging by the subdued response in the theater, neither did the audience. BTW, NY audiences can be cruel. This one snickered at corny lines that weren't supposed to be funny. The phrase "derisive laughter" leaps to mind. I predict NEMESIS will be a huge box office hit. But long-time fans may be as disappointed as I was."

33 of 907 comments (clear)

  1. can't be worse than by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    Can't be any worse than Star Trek XXIV - Scotty passes a stone

    1. Re:can't be worse than by Aqua+OS+X · · Score: 3, Funny

      Sounds like GeriaTreK to me ;)

      --
      "Things are more moderner than before- bigger, and yet smaller- it's computers-- San Dimas High School football RULES!"
  2. the WORST? by SomeGuyFromCA · · Score: 5, Funny

    If it's worse than Final Frontier - which, according to official continuity, never happened, it's gotta be pretty bad at that.

    Then again, the plot reads like they're merging the "Picard's son" ep of TNG with the plot of Wrath of KHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNN! So it just might be that bad.

    --
    if the answer isn't violence, neither is your silence / freedom of expression doesn't make it alright
  3. The worst of the bunch? by ar1550 · · Score: 5, Funny

    "The 10th entry in the Star Trek movie franchise ... is the dullest and drabbest of the lot

    So I take it that I'm not the only one who has repressed the horrible memory of seeing Star Trek V.

    ...gently down the stream...

    --
    I once shot a man in Reno 'cause they cancelled Firefly.
    1. Re:The worst of the bunch? by JPelorat · · Score: 4, Funny

      There was a fifth one?

      --
      Hokey statistics and ancient misconceptions are no match for a good thought in your head, kid!
    2. Re:The worst of the bunch? by gamgee5273 · · Score: 3, Funny
      the nearly-talented Marc Singer

      Wow. Nearly-talented? You're really generous.

  4. The Preview release by Punk+Walrus · · Score: 3, Funny
    The preview release they sent out to the reviewers was apparently so bad, that one of my best Star Trek fan (he has a ship/club thing, leather jacket with logo on it, etc) friends said it was a embrassing as watching your best friend get drunk and try to get a date with a stripper.

    "It's not even a good two-parter," he sobbed.

  5. *yawn*.. by D-Cypell · · Score: 5, Funny

    Ensign... set a course for bargin bin at local video store...

    ENGAGE!

  6. You're right and wrong by MacAndrew · · Score: 5, Funny

    It is BECAUSE they've repressed the memory that they FORGET that V really was the worst Star Trek of all time, arguably in serious competition with bad movies in general.

    Leonard Nimoy versus William Shatner as directors -- the choice is logical.

    V was so bad it made the fairly forgettable III and VI look epic and skillful. Apparently Shatner did not get to do in the climax of V what he's wanted, and if he had, the movie would have at least been funny.

  7. Re:Wesley could have saved it with Open Source! by ForceOfWill · · Score: 3, Funny
    they'd set off a Blue Screen of Death and earth would have been safe!

    You mean Earth would have been in safe mode :-)
    --

    --
    Seeing is believing; You wouldn't have seen it if you didn't believe it.
  8. READ THIS! Leaked portion of Nemesis script by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    PICARD: Good God! We're caught in a temporal quake caused by Nemesis' evil mind powers! We'll be torn to pieces for sure! It's curtains for us! Will, can you think of anything that might save us?

    RIKER: I'm so goddamned drunk I can't even see straight. Give me another gin and tonic.

    PICARD: Make it so. Mr. LaForge, do you have any ideas?

    GEORDI: Well, we just might be able to decouple the iambic pentameter from the refrombulatory cryo-units in order to cause a temporonucleic disturbance that just might break us free.

    PICARD: Good god, Geordi, that's the craziest goddamned idea I've ever heard! No, strike that. Pure genius! Capital! Do you think we can actually make it work?

    RIKER: Gin and tonic, God damn it!

    GEORDI: I don't see that we have a choice, Captain. We have to try.

    PICARD: Make it so. Mr. Worf, please accompany Mr. LaForge to Engineering in order to try out that crazy idea of his. And make sure to shut the watertight doors so that the water doesn't spill over the top of the bulkhead at E deck.

    WORF: Roger.

    WESLEY: I sure hope that this works, captain!

    TROI: The fuck are *you* doing here?

    [ Worf and LaForge leave bridge ]

    PICARD: Data, what do you calculate our odds are at getting out of this situation alive?

    DATA: I'm afraid they don't look good, Captain. The computer is claiming that they are only 5% or so.

    PICARD: Jesus jumpin' Christ! I told you we should have upgraded to Mandrake 12.0.

    RIKER: Who do I have to blow to get a gin and tonic around here?!?

    GEORDI (on tricorder): Captain, I think we've done it! If you yell "Warp one, ENGAGE" right now, we will escape from Nemesis with approximately 0.01 seconds to spare!

    PICARD: Holy moly! What are the odds? Helm, warp one, ENGAGE!

    [ Enterprise zooms off. ]

    [ Credits roll ]

    Straight from the desk of Brannon Braga.

  9. Re:Gotta agree with Ebert... by Repugnant_Shit · · Score: 2, Funny

    Romulan: Hissssss

    Picard: Now A'm gonna get right in there with'em. Ah she's a beauty, look at the coloration.

    *Romulan lunges*

    Picard: CRIKEY she's mad. Calm down there, there's a good girl.

    Well, I'd pay to see it...

  10. Re:It all went downhill when Gene died by fgb · · Score: 2, Funny

    for a second I thought you meant Siskel.

  11. You can aways trust Amazon.. by MoriarGryphon · · Score: 5, Funny

    Well, it can't be that bad, the "Reserve your copy" on Amazon.com gives it five stars!

  12. Re:Not a chance by Bishop923 · · Score: 5, Funny


    You were looking for hard sci-fi in a Trek movie?

    Isn't that like looking for filet mignon at McDonalds?
    </joke>

  13. Re:Can someone explain Star Trek V by Cyclometh · · Score: 4, Funny

    People loathe it for many reasons, several of which include Sybok, Spock's supposed half-brother. But it's just a terrible film overall- the scene with Uhura dancing on the ridge was probably the nadir as far as I'm concerned.

    However, Star Trek V did have what I thought was the best line ever delivered in a Star Trek film (well, there's a few contenders for the title, but I've always liked it): "Excuse me, but what does God need with a starship?"

  14. I don't want my pain taken away. I NEED my pain. by burgburgburg · · Score: 5, Funny

    What does God need with a starship?

  15. Re:It all went downhill when Gene died by gamgee5273 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Are you saying that Enterprise may be the beginning of the Mirror Universe? Scott Bakula needs to grow a goatee...

  16. Re:Not a chance by kalidasa · · Score: 5, Funny

    You were looking for hard sci-fi in a Trek movie? Isn't that like looking for filet mignon at McDonalds?

    Exactly. More precisely, it's like looking for filet mignon and a nice salice salentino at McDonalds.

    The idea behind Trek is that it's supposed to be fun. You want hard SF, or at least serious SF, look to Solaris (no, not that Solaris, Tarkovsky's Solaris), 2001, or Alien (maybe Pitch Black; though a lot of it smelled like warmed over Ridley Scott, it did have a good idea behind it and some very interesting performances). If the SF you want is filet mingon, remember that Trek is junk food. Filling, but lacking in sophistication.

  17. Sulu made it! by phorm · · Score: 3, Funny

    Sure there was some expansion here and there, but in general the feelings for the characters never changed. Checkov never really "rose through the ranks" like Wesley did

    I believe that in "the Undiscovered Country", cheesy as it was, Sulu did get a captaincy (sp?). Checkoff... well he probably never made it 'cause he couldn't pass his written test:

    Desired Rank: Keptain Experience: Starships and Nuclear Wessels

  18. Nuclear Wessels by burgburgburg · · Score: 5, Funny
    Where are the nuclear wessels?

    Remember where we parked.

    Ahh, the classics.

    I don't even have your number.

    Computer, on.

  19. Re:Too bad by AndroidCat · · Score: 5, Funny
    Star Trek V never happened! No way! They went straight from IV to VI. It was all a numbering mistake.

    But if it did happen, here's the plot synopsis:
    Star Trek V (Never Happened): God and Kirk compare egos. God loses.

    --
    One line blog. I hear that they're called Twitters now.
  20. Re:I don't want my pain taken away. I NEED my pain by AndroidCat · · Score: 2, Funny

    If I might suggest: From The Restaurant at the End of the Universe "Do people want fire which can be fitted nasally?"

    --
    One line blog. I hear that they're called Twitters now.
  21. Re:Too bad by TheAlmightyQ · · Score: 5, Funny

    No way! They went straight from IV to VI.

    Sounds like the marketing people at Netscape used to work for Paramount too.

    --
    I hope you're not pretending to be evil while secretly being good. That would be dishonest.
  22. Re:Too bad by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Actually the formula is "all even movies that are also numbered 2 are good."

  23. Re:Too bad by Scrameustache · · Score: 3, Funny
    You're kidding right? This was noticeably better than Star Trek 4? It wasn't even good!

    In First Contact, the Borg sprouts a queen, she gets her nipples hard over Data

    I can't believe anyone is forgiving the script writers

    In First Contact, the Borg sprouts a queen, she gets her nipples hard over Data

    Didn't anyone else notice that the movie neutered Star Trek's best adversary? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!

    In First Contact, the Borg sprouts a queen, she gets her nipples hard over Data


    Dude, you awnsered your own question you know...

    --

    You can't take the sky from me...

  24. Re:The point of the movie by sigwinch · · Score: 4, Funny
    Are you suggesting that environmentalists actually believe this? That some freaky alien ship is going to come to Earth and kill us all if the whales disappear?
    Yeah, that's just silly.

    Everybody knows that alien energy beams aren't for vaporizing oceans: they're for anal probing. If species loss continues at its current rate, in 30 years nobody will be able to sit down. The ironic thing is that increased vaseline use will probably just accelerate the species loss...

    --

    --
    Kuro5hin.org: where the good times never end. ;-)

  25. Maybe it's me by DarkHelmet · · Score: 3, Funny
    But am I the only person who finds it sad that Janeway made it to the position of Admiral before Picard?

    "You get the easy missions Jean Luc."

    Sure Janeway... "Now tell me Kathryn, how many lights do you see?"

    "THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!"

    --
    /^[A-Z0-9._%+-]+@[A-Z0-9.-]+\.[A-Z]{2,4}$/i
  26. Re:Can someone explain Star Trek V by mph · · Score: 5, Funny
    c'mon, are you kidding? Canada has warships?!?!?!
    When I was visiting Seattle a few years ago there was one docked there. As far as I can tell, the invasion did not succeed.
  27. Re:Too bad by technomom · · Score: 2, Funny

    I *LOVED* Christopher Lloyd in ST III.

    Klingon - "What do you do when you see a yellow light on the Genesis device?"

    Kirk - "Slow down."

    Klingon - "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat doooooooooooooooooo yoooooooooooooooooou doooooooooooooooooooo wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen ....."

    JoAnn

  28. Re:Too bad by rworne · · Score: 5, Funny
    they can just flip a switch and have a collective orgasm.


    Would this be... wait for it...

    A borgasm ?
    --
    I tried every decent and legal way I could think of to resolve the issue w/the business before I rented the chicken suit
  29. Re:Romulan Apples and Organian Oranges by susano_otter · · Score: 4, Funny
    It would be like a TV producer pitching a show today as "'Friends' in space," or "a sci-fi 'West Wing.'"

    In other words, "Enterprise" and "Babylon 5", respectively.

    --

    Any sufficiently well-organized community is indistinguishable from Government.

  30. Re:You, AC. You're kidding, right? by saskboy · · Score: 3, Funny

    AC, go watch the movie, and then come back with your head hung in shame.

    You P'Tak!

    And no I didn't look up that Klingon, so if the spelling is wrong, I don't want to hear about it!

    --
    Saskboy's blog is good. 9 out of 10 dentists agree.