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LinuX-Mas Caroling We Shall Go
smudge writes "Don't let the economy get you down
this holiday season. Bring up a screen saver of a fireplace, grab a hot mulled Mountain Dew and check out
these holiday classics, rewritten with a tech spin, from LinuxWorld.com."
chestnuts roasting by an open aafire.
comment directly in my journal
That was the nerdiest thing I've read all week.
But it's no match for these
You better watch out
You better not cry,
"I don't know where all my licenses lie!"
Microsoft is coming to town
You paid for it list,
You paid for it twice;
You paid even more for legal advice.
Microsoft is coming to town
They know when you run Windows
They know when you use Word
They treat a loyal customer
Like a lying, thieving turd.
With auditing threats
In letters that come
Their lawyers will have you reaching for Tums
Microsoft is coming to town
Bill's desperate now
There's no time to play
He's casting dot-Net to drag in your pay
Microsoft is coming to town
They offer a solution
When you are left in tears
Just sign here on the bottom line
And subscribe for fifty years!
Oh, you should have watched out
Gave Linux a try
Now licensing six is bleeding you dry
Microsoft is coming to town
Microsoft is coming to town!
REAL bad.
My Ass hurts.
They did a hilarious version of "Oh Holy Nights" that went something like "Oh Modem Lights"
Here's the link... I kept this as my desktop wallpaper long after christmas was past.
Oh Modem Lights
Even if a man chops off your hand with a sword, you still have two nice, sharp bones to stick in his eyes.
Kernel Kernel Kernel
I configured it today
Kernel Kernel Kernel
Please boot up I pray
OK, that's all I've got...
Build boards not bombs
better !cry
better watchout
lpr why
santa claus <north pole > town
cat /etc/passwd >list
ncheck list
ncheck list
cat list | grep naughty >nogiftlist
cat list | grep nice >giftlist
santa claus <north pole > town
who |grep sleeping
who |grep awake
who |egrep "bad|good"
for (goodness sake) { be good }
No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?
I posted "Bill Gates is frightful",
and I got a "+1 Insightful",
So if you've no place to go,
log on and troll, log on and troll, log on and trooooll!
Thank you very much.
An anti-MS rant, anti-America rant, a whine about unemployment.. All paraded around on whats supposed to be a respectable linux 'news' site.
Thing is, people like my boss see this, and I can't even mention that I use linux in my home network router because they'll just assume that I'm using it for anti-corporate hippie reasons.
Meh.
They aren't even clever. I'll write one on the fly:
Jiggle Bells!
Linux smells!
GNU is teh cheese!
Gnome and gimp's
Users are limp!
A Beowulf cluster of these!
I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!!!!
Please don't let my boss read these... Otherwise we'll all be singing these tomorrow morning! :(
$ better /nopout /nocry /watchout /input=north pole /output=town
/output=nogift.lis /outuput=gift.lis /input=north pole /output=town
/interactive/output=users.lis
$ better
$ print why
$ santa_claus
$ mcr authorize
list
exit
$ analyze/rms_file/check sysuaf.lis
$ analyze/rms_file/check sysuaf.lis
$ search sysuaf.lis naughty
$ search sysuaf.lis nice
$ santa_claus
$ show user
$ search users.lis sleeping
$ search users.lis awake
$ search users.lis bad
$ search users.lis good
$ loop:
$ be good
$ if goodness_sake then $ goto loop
(DCL port courtesy of James Dishaw.)
We've needed more material for Stallman to sing! Maybe we can get a Stallman-Shatner duo going.
I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?
All through SOVIET RUSSIA, twas Christmas before the night,
/. user is more like your brother
Not a controller was stirring, not even a mouse;
The CAT5 was hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that broadband soon would be there;
The friendly geeks were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of CowboyNeal danced in their heads;
And Taco in his 'kerchief, and Cliff in his cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,
When from my PC there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to Mozilla I flew like a flash,
Tore open my browser, and surfed to the Slash.
The news on the main page was new, I could boast..
I could post within 20 seconds 'FIRST POST!!'
The headline was 'Programmer caught in infinite loop.'
Doh! Just another of Taco's damn dupes.
'First Post!!' typed, I was beaming with pride,
I hit Submit, and then nearly cried
Someone had beat me, and what did they say?
"Stephen King dead at 53" today!
We may complain and bitch at each other
But every
Than if you read CNN or Fark or The Knot
And it's exactly what all other communities are not.
mogorific carpentry experiments
We three pings, connectionless,
Seek out hosts by IP address,
By hub, by switch,
Without a glitch,
Sixty-five K or less.
2*3*3*3*3*11*251
Whoops, go ahead and mod the parent down. Here it is with the proper versification.
Oh, Calculus; Oh Calculus,
(To:"Oh, Christmas Tree")
Oh, Calculus; Oh Calculus,
How tough are both your branches.
Oh, Calculus; Oh Calculus,
To pass, what are my chances?
Derivatives I cannot take,
At integrals my fingers shake.
Oh, Calculus; Oh Calculus,
How tough are both your branches.
Oh, Calculus; Oh Calculus,
Your theorems I can't master.
Oh, Calculus; Oh Calculus,
My proofs are a disaster.
You pull a trick our of the air,
Or find a reason, God knows where.
Oh, Calculus; Oh Calculus,
Your theorems I can't master.
Oh, Calculus; Oh Calculus,
Your problems do distress me.
Oh, Calculus; Oh Calculus,
Related rates depress me.
I walk toward lampposts in my sleep,
And running water makes me weep.
Oh, Calculus; Oh Calculus,
Your problems do distress me.
Oh, Calculus; Oh Calculus,
My limit I am reaching.
Oh, Calculus; Oh Calculus,
For mercy I'm beseeching.
My grades do not approach B,
They're just an epsilon from D.
Oh, Calculus; Oh Calculus,
My limit I am reaching.
Fill the boards with Differentials
(To:"Deck the Halls")
Fill the boards with differentials,
FA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA -LA-LA-LA-LA,
Note that du's are essential,
FA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA -LA-LA-LA-LA,
C's are constants here before us,
FA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA -LA-LA-LA-LA,
Integration cannot floor us
FA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA -LA-LA-LA-LA,
Quizzes always make us queasy,
FA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA -LA-LA-LA-LA,
Max and mins are never easy,
FA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA -LA-LA-LA-LA,
Conic volumes we can measure,
FA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA -LA-LA-LA-LA,
Fours and fives we'll always treasure,
FA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA -LA-LA-LA-LA
You know, you might want to mod this one down too.