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Wired News: 2002's Greatest Vaporware

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the most-magnitudinous dept.

Quill writes "Wired News has once again compiled a list of last year's greatest (worst?) pieces of vaporware. The winner (I won't spoil the surprise) has been on the list three times now! The nomination process was mentioned a few weeks ago on Slashdot."

27 of 349 comments (clear)

  1. tf2 by Senator_B · · Score: 5, Funny
    From the tf2 news pages:

    [December 18, 1998] - I Want My TF (TM) II
    Well folks, Team Fortress (TM) 2 will be here shortly and community sites are popping up all over the web. Clans are starting to form, Tournaments are being planned, and information pages are being posted. If you haven't checked out the sites yet, be sure to visit our links section or visit PlanetFortress.com for more information.

     Gee, I hope none of the tournaments have filled up yet, my clan was just getting off the ground.

  2. 2002's Greatest Vaporware by bucklesl · · Score: 5, Funny

    My #1 would be "Intelligent Posts on slashdot".

    --
    help fill in hidden movie endings @ End of the Credits
    1. Re:2002's Greatest Vaporware by Gyan · · Score: 5, Funny

      >i>My #1 would be "Intelligent Posts on slashdot".

      How is that vaporware ? No one expects it in the first place.

  3. Game-to-be-left-unmentioned by MrWa · · Score: 5, Interesting
    And people wonder why it is so hard to make money in the computer game industry...how many people, getting paid how much, have worked for so long to make this game? What are the chances it will come even close to breaking even? If every person that owned a computer bought a copy of this game, at the insane price it would have to be, would that even be enough?

    It has been said before but bears repeating: the games of yesteryear had something that all these new games, with their fancy graphics and supposedly advanced AIs, still can't seem to replace. Repeat after us Mr. Game developers: it's all the gameplay.

    1. Re:Game-to-be-left-unmentioned by MuValas · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Actually, the engine, although definitely one of the most technically complex parts, is no longer the "hardest" part. The core engine can still be designed by a small team ( 5, easily, 3 or less if they're really good, a la Carmack), and even in that, the core graphics is pretty much done by one person even on today's game. All the tools for the artist, level designers, and such, take up significantly more programmer time than the engine. And that is dwarfed by the content creation that artists and designers go through. I'd say the hardest part is actually making a fun, interesting game, while still maintaining a shiny patina of graphical goodness.

      Go create a single, high-poly, production-level model, including a bunch of animations, and then multiply by about 10,000 and you'll get a feel for the effort involved.

      And while I'm sure he was in on the design process, its not like Carmack sat around doing everything himself, surrounded by a chorus of yes-men-and-women, cheering him on. I'm pretty sure most everything outside of the graphics is done by others, please correct me if I'm wrong. Take a look at Armadillo Aerospace, and you'll see where he's been spending his time (and money, yikes!).

      And as for needing to sell a copy to every computer user, at an inflated price - do the math and you'll see that's a bit off. Say, $100, and 100 million computers in the country, which makes for a nice cool $10 billion if my maths (as the brits say) are correct. Its a moot point anyway, I'm sure the Duke Nukem' group have made so much cash off the old franchise, that its pretty much a rich-person's hobby at this point.

      Hell, I'll be incredibly impressed if they do get a good-quality game out the door any time in the next decade. Give me $50 million or so, and I don't think I'd ever get anything done again, especially not something as demanding and intense as game development.

      I'd just get stuck at the stripper motion capture sessions the press has mentioned ;)

    2. Re:Game-to-be-left-unmentioned by Safety+Cap · · Score: 5, Insightful
      And people wonder why it is so hard to make money in the computer game industry...
      It is hard if you don't know what you are a doing. Unfortunately, creating software is much like any construction project: without proper planning and design, the only thing you're going to do is spend a lot of money and put out a crappy product. Now, there are exceptions -- particularly if you are working on a single-developer, small project, or you are incredibly lucky -- lucky like my 90-year old grandma who smoked a pack a day ever since she was nine.

      Let me quote from the article:

      "We're undeniably late and we know it. We've switched engines a couple of times, and we've started over a couple of times. We've made some mistakes, and we've learned from them.
      --George Broussard, President, 3D Realms
      That pretty much says it all: they had no plan, they're making all of the classic mistakes of software development, and they are burning through the cash as if it were marshmallows at a boy scout outing.

      The least they can do is hire a competent project manager to slap those ho's back on track.

      Way I figure it, if they had 3 developers and one manager working full time for five years, they've already burned through close to two million dollars and have nothing to show for it. Hope they figure they can sell enough copies to *cough* at least break even. Do'o!

      --
      Yeah, right.
    3. Re:Game-to-be-left-unmentioned by KewlPC · · Score: 4, Informative

      If you buy a game in a store for $25, the best the developers could hope for is $12.5. This is because the retailer gets half of the game's cost. And them getting as much as $12.50 assumes they published the game themselves, which in the case of Max Payne, they didn't

      $25 / 2 = $12.50 (half for retailer, half for publisher)

      Of that $12.50 that the retailer doesn't take, it is common for the publisher to take 50%, and divide up the rest among whoever is left. Now, Max Payne was developed by Remedy Entertainment, produced by 3D Realms, and published by GodGames.

      So, GodGames got 50% of that $12.50, or $6.25. The remaining $6.25 was divided up between Remedy and 3D Realms. Exactly HOW it was divided up is unknown to me, but let's assume that each got 50%.

      Therefore, for every $25 copy of Max Payne sold in a retail store, the developers (Remedy Entertainment) got about $3.12. Now, for a while the game cost $40 or $50, but most publishers pull all sorts of shenanigans so that they can stiff the developer out of their share of the money. Even if the publisher is as honest as a Boy Scout, that's still not a lot of money.

      If Remedy was smart, they demanded royalties from the movie rights, console and Macintosh port royalties, etc., but hey, who knows, not everybody has good business sense (and some have downright horrid business sense).

  4. segway by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Informative

    They're still not shipping segways.

    Amazon claims they're selling, but isn't releasing any numbers.

    Wasn't this supposed to have changed every american city by now?

  5. Re:I should become psychic by Chris_Stankowitz · · Score: 5, Funny
    Wow, look at that, I was right!

    Come on, even miss Cleo saw this comming.

  6. mostly by SweetAndSourJesus · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Metroid Prime : exceptional gameplay
    Super Mario Sunshine : exceptional gameplay

    There are still fun games being released. Good gameplay isn't gone, it's just being drowned out by all the crap out there.

    Of course they're the minority, like in anything. How many movies came out this year that were focused on viewer enjoyment rather than glitz and flash?

    --

    --
    the strongest word is still the word "free"
    1. Re:mostly by Osty · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Metroid Prime : exceptional gameplay

      Metroid Prime: horrid control scheme


      Super Mario Sunshine : exceptional gameplay

      Sure, but it's nothing new. It's just Mario 64 with fancier graphics and a water gun. That doesn't mean it's not fun, just that it's nothing new.


      Now, how about Splinter Cell? It has the graphics thing down cold (mmm ... real time dynamic lights and shadows, soft body physics ...), and the gameplay is new and interesting (okay, so it's not revolutionary either, being an evolutionary step from games like the Metal Gear series and previous Tom Clancy games).


      Of course they're the minority, like in anything. How many movies came out this year that were focused on viewer enjoyment rather than glitz and flash?

      Exactly. This is something that the retro guys always forget -- they're looking back through rose-colored glasses. For every Super Mario World, or Legend of Zelda, or original Metroid there were hundreds of stinkers, rip-offs, and copies. There were tons and tons of games with terrible gameplay and no redeeming qualities. But, because it's the past, we don't remember those. We only remember the good games. Same goes for movies and for music. The past wasn't any better than now, it's just that time has made you forget the horrendous crap that was released.

  7. The obvious reason for vaporware games by wackybrit · · Score: 5, Insightful

    I started helping on an open source project called Project Armageddon in 1996. It became a massive thing, with about 50 guys working, artists, programmers, the works. It was due for release in 1998. It still hasn't been released..

    Why? Because technology moves too quickly and your game looks old fast. If you write a game with a target for release in two years, you write for the highest end kit, make sure your engine scales, and hope for the best. But what if when two years have passed, you need another year to finish the title? Your title immediately looks old!

    What if Red Alert 2 ran a year late? It'd look like an old clunky piece of crap. Okay, it's still an excellent game, but it was more cutting edge in 2000 than it possibly could be in 2001.

    So, when titles run even just a year late, the developers have to rush and scramble to make their graphics engine look up to date.. but that introduces new bugs, so they become even more delayed.. then they need to upgrade the engine AGAIN, and repeat ad nauseum.

    --
    mogorific carpentry experiments
    1. Re:The obvious reason for vaporware games by GlassHeart · · Score: 5, Insightful
      technology moves too quickly and your game looks old fast.

      So find another niche to play in. Actually invent a new game, and it will look new.

      But what if when two years have passed, you need another year to finish the title?

      This sounds cruel, because the market is cruel, but your product then deserves to die. Schedule estimates off by 50% are rarely survivable.

      Please don't think I'm attacking you or your project, or that I'm saying I can somehow do better. I'm just saying that when trapped in a rat race with otherwise identical competitors, you must either do the job better than anybody else or create a new job entirely.

    2. Re:The obvious reason for vaporware games by KewlPC · · Score: 5, Informative

      Nobody licenses an engine, only to rewrite it. Many companies license a game engine and then make tweaks and additions, but none license something just so they can rewrite it.

      Also, like with id Software engines, when you license the Unreal engine, you get access to the updates. 3D Realms may decide not to use them, but they have access to them.

      And before you say anything else stupid, the Unreal engine isn't obsolete. Unreal Tournament used it (there is NO Unreal Tournament engine; it's just a much later build of the Unreal engine than the version that shipped with the game Unreal), Unreal Tournament 2003 used it too IIRC.

      You see, instead of writing a new engine from scratch for every game, Epic built a solid foundation (the Unreal engine) which they could easily update to include the latest graphic technology. All they do is keep updating the same engine, adding stuff to take advantage of newer graphics cards and faster CPUs.

  8. Duke Nukem Never by Angry+Black+Man · · Score: 5, Informative

    Duke Nukem Forever started out on the Quake II engine. When that became outdated, they rewrote it for the Unreal engine. That was the last I ever heard ANY news on the game.

    They're going to have to write it again for the new Unreal engine, and then when they're done with that, they'll have to redo it again for the Doom 3 engine.

    It's a vicious cycle. Bets that this game won't see the light of day?

    --
    the byproduct of years of oppression by the white man
  9. As (I believe) Nintendo once said by grahamwest · · Score: 5, Insightful

    A late game is only late until it's released. A bad game will be bad forever. How many people remember when Super Mario 64 was supposed to be released vs when it actually shipped?

    In any case if you're going to put "Forever" in your game's title you have to expect a certain amount of jokes about it.

    --
    Graham
  10. Don't tell me, don't tell me... by Pseudonym · · Score: 5, Funny

    It's Daikatana, right?

    --
    sub f{($f)=@_;print"$f(q{$f});";}f(q{sub f{($f)=@_;print"$f(q{$f});";}f});
  11. Glad Duke Nukem is taking forever.. by xchino · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Persoanlly I'm glad Duke Nukem has been taking forever. I know this company has the ability to make a great game, and that they WANT to make a great game. Taking their time to do it right means alot to the overall gameplay. Even the best game ideas can be slaughtered by lack of attention to details.
    They've updated the engine a few times and started over a few times.
    Any coders out there know that sometimes intense modification or starting over is just what has to be done to make your program what you want. Or you could take the easy route and compromise your program concept to account for a mistake. A poor analogy would be that this is like shoveling all the crap in your roomunder the bed instead of cleaning up.

    --
    Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
    1. Re:Glad Duke Nukem is taking forever.. by GlassHeart · · Score: 4, Interesting
      Any coders out there know that sometimes intense modification or starting over is just what has to be done to make your program what you want.

      Yes, in many cases a rewrite is better than reuse. However, you do not discover major faults in your code that require a rewrite (much less "a few times") in the middle of development. To do so indicates that your team does not understand the code base it was to reuse, or did not understand the requirements. Either form of incompetence rightfully results in failure, especially in a cutthroat market like games.

      Also, "started over a few times" does not say "taking time to do it right" to me. It says they don't know how to do it right, and are just fumbling in the dark.

      Note that I am not familiar with their actual development practices, so I am assuming your description is accurate, and basing my comments on that.

    2. Re:Glad Duke Nukem is taking forever.. by KewlPC · · Score: 5, Insightful

      All the funny lines from Duke Nukem 3D were stolen.

      "It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum. And I'm all out of bubblegum."
      -Duke Nukem 3D

      "I came here to kick ass and chew bubblegum. And I'm all out of bubblegum."
      -They Live (a John Carpenter movie starring Roddy Piper and that black guy from Platoon), release in 1988

      A great many also came from the Evil Dead movies, and sounded much cooler when spoken by Bruce Campbell. I guess that's what happens when you get a radio DJ to do the lines for your game.

      What's worse, George Broussard said in a magazine interview that all the sayings and such in Duke Nukem 3D and Duke Nukem Forever were original. In the same article, there were screenshots from DNF where Duke Nukem loses his hand and puts a chainsaw in its place (a la the Evil Dead movies). Message for Mr. Broussard: open mouth wider and insert other foot...

  12. It's pretty cut and dried... by phillymjs · · Score: 4, Insightful

    ...if you can't walk into a store and pick it off a shelf, or otherwise acquire it, it is vaporware.

    Companies can demo it and say it's 'almost ready' all they want, but until you can get product in exchange for payment, it's vaporware.

    ~Philly

  13. Re:Quark by WatertonMan · · Score: 4, Insightful
    It has really hurt Apple though, which in turn affects many other things. A lot of people think that the two things holding Apple back from large increases in market share were no Quark for OSX (and a crappy version 5) and then Motorola's falling down on the G5. (Which, now that Motorola cancelled it, would get a vote from me for vaporware - however the cancelation sort of neglegates a true "vapor" label)

    Here's hoping IBM delivers the 970 soon and that Quark won't release something as bad as I think they will. Not because I'll use Quark, but I know how the "trickle down" effect works. By the same reasoning I didn't own Global Crossing or Enron stock, but their screw ups affected me nonetheless.

  14. New Amiga by Xugumad · · Score: 4, Informative

    It's shipping, people have the new motherboards up and running. See Eyetech's (who are making the boards) announcement at http://www.eyetech.co.uk/amigaone/oct252002a.php, or the discussion at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/amigaone/. The OS itself isn't out yet, but the boards run Linux PPC just fine.

  15. Because 3D Realms is tricksy... by nsample · · Score: 5, Funny



    They've always been honest about their release date, and posted it openly since day 1. It's not their fault if the public can't read properly:

    Duke Nukem Forever

  16. correction in slashdot dept by Kunta+Kinte · · Score: 4, Funny
    This story should be

    from the I-want-new-shiny-things-to-distract-me -from-my-mind-numbly-unfulfilled-life-and-I-want-i t-now! dept.

    I admit, I'm guilty of this too.

    --
    Based on upvotes, Ageism is the only "-ism" Slashdotters care about and think isn't SJW
  17. They forgot one... by Dunkalis · · Score: 5, Funny

    This is the mother and father of vaporware. I mean, look of "vaporware" in a dictionary, and you'll find...

    GNU Hurd

    Couldn't resist!

    --
    Slashdot is a waste of time. I enjoy wasting time.
  18. autopr0n game-hyping system (patent pending) by autopr0n · · Score: 5, Funny

    Step 1. Think up an interesting idea for a game. Spend a few days coming up with mockup graphics.

    step 2. Keep working on other projects and spend a few hours a month working on more mockups and prototypes.

    Repeat step 2 for a couple years, show the 'game' to reporters. Hype relentlessly, but gradually taper off.

    Wait a few more years, occasionally report problems 'we switched engines' etc. everyone laughs, you become the quintessential vaporware, etc. Tell everyone you're waiting because the game is going to be perfect. Ship the games you were actually working on

    After 4 or 5 years of this, start working on the game. Everyone's heard of it, everyone knows about it. And when you're finished (in a year or so) everyone downloads the demo, even non-hardcore gamers. Of course, you'll need to make sure the game is fun, and polished, but if you succeed you'll have huge mindshare already, and probably a hit.

    Unreal was delayed and delayed, and since it was pretty good it sold well. Daikatana took forever, but it was shitty. If it had actually been a good game, it probably would have done well. We'll have to see what happens with DNF, but I bet it would have sold well if it was good.

    With my plan, you'll have years of hype and anticipation waiting for a game that only cost a year or so of development costs.

    and licensing my patent will only cost you 4% of the development costs!

    --
    autopr0n is like, down and stuff.