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Call for Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie References
lma writes "Lyle Zapato, best-selling author (well, maybe just author) of Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie: Practical Mind Control Protection for Paranoids , and developer of MindGuard, personal anti-psychotronic software for Amiga and Linux, is trying to find as many references to AFDBs or similar devices prior to 1991 as possible. Please help this important part of our cultural heritage from being lost, and email him with any references you can find." Well, there was my Uncle Milt..I mean...well, nevermind.
Trying to use slashdot as a cheap way to do a patent search.
At least that is what the aliens told me.
No, the server just put a foil hat on.
I have two sisters who are identical twins. It was always required for them to wear aluminium foil hats if they wanted to be partners in our family games of spades. Otherwise, we would all end up beaten by them two terrible cheaters!!!
I only look human.
My mother is a halfling and my dad is an ogre, so that makes me an Ogreling
Yeah, we make her do that every now and then. When she's really bad, we let the monkey play with the joystick.
It's supposed to be completely automatic, but actually you have to press this button.
You got an affiliate commission link into a front-page Slashdot story! You rock!
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Everyone knows that aluminum did not exist before 1992. It was at that time that the Reynolds corporation made a bid to take over the US Government. Reynolds, an alliance between the city of Marina Del Rey and Tom Arnold (look it up, I don't use Google because they track my searches) began producing "anti Illuminati medium" or a-lumin-um by extracting the "conductivity" from steel, a naturally occuring mineral.
Reynolds knew that the CIA and FBI were using mind control through the "cable networks" to persuade the population to upgrade to HBO, the mouthpiece for the Masonic Order of the Illuminati.
You all just think you remember aluminum existing before 1992 because you do not wear your beanies, and have been influenced by HBO. Still need proof? Consider these facts:
1. If you travel outside the US, you will find that no other countries use or have heard of aluminum. (England has something similar called aluminium, which was developed in tandem by Margaret Thatcher's shadow government.)
2. If you travel to another country and they say that they have aluminum, you have not actually travelled to another country, but are on a HBO-enduced mind control trip.
3. Aluminum does not get hot in the oven. I've made thousands of fish sticks in the years after 1992, and no matter how badly I burn them, I can always lift them by the corners of the aluminum foil I placed them on.
When I first opened my law practice, I shared a legal secretary with another lawyer.
Part of my real-world education in solo practice was that, from time to time, I would get calls from prospective clients who were aggrieved by (alleged) mind-control rays and who wanted me to represent them against the U.S. Government or whomever. I would patiently listen to their stories, and offer to take their cases for $10,000 up front. (Mercifully, no one bit, or the state bar would have had my ass.)
I had fun, but I got tired of being so patient a listener as I had other (billable) demands on my time. I mentioned my surprise (at the number of such calls) to my secretary, who said, "Oh. You just have to tell them to make a tinfoil hat and they'll go away. Works every time." And it did!
100% of prospective mind-ray clients who were instructed to make tinfoil hats went away, presumably satisfied. I even got one or two nice notes in the mail, and a couple of referrals.
Moral: There's no substitute for an experienced legal secretary.