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Call for Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie References

lma writes "Lyle Zapato, best-selling author (well, maybe just author) of Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie: Practical Mind Control Protection for Paranoids , and developer of MindGuard, personal anti-psychotronic software for Amiga and Linux, is trying to find as many references to AFDBs or similar devices prior to 1991 as possible. Please help this important part of our cultural heritage from being lost, and email him with any references you can find." Well, there was my Uncle Milt..I mean...well, nevermind.

13 of 185 comments (clear)

  1. Or he could be... by MojoRilla · · Score: 5, Funny

    Trying to use slashdot as a cheap way to do a patent search.

    At least that is what the aliens told me.

  2. The Straight Dope by Angry+White+Guy · · Score: 5, Informative

    Ran this article recently which says tinfoil just isn't enough, and to construct a faraday cage to be impervious to alien influence.

    Personally I think that they really need professional help if they believe in aliens, but if it keeps the government from reading my mind I'm all for it!

    --
    You think that I'm crazy, you should see this guy!
    1. Re:The Straight Dope by sg_oneill · · Score: 5, Informative

      This page explains it all. It's got tinfoil hats for sale. And the model on the front page. Try not to have any liquids in mouth loading page. It'll end up on the monitor!

      Oh and these guys appear to be for real.

      --
      Excuse the Unicode crap in my posts. That's an apostrophe, and slashdot is busted.
  3. the server dons a foil hat by jo_ham · · Score: 5, Funny

    No, the server just put a foil hat on.

  4. The real deal by Duchamp · · Score: 5, Interesting

    I had a few calls from this one when I worked as a sysadmin at her ISP.

    You can also see her with a sign standing outside the mall in downtown Hamilton, or at the side of the road by the highway.

    1. Re:The real deal by new+death+barbie · · Score: 5, Funny
      You can also see her with a sign standing outside the mall in downtown Hamilton, or at the side of the road by the highway.


      Yeah, we make her do that every now and then. When she's really bad, we let the monkey play with the joystick.

      --

      It's supposed to be completely automatic, but actually you have to press this button.

  5. Tinfoil Hat Linux ...for the Paranoid by nucleon · · Score: 5, Funny
    This article reminded me of a fun little Linux distro on floppy from the nice folks at the Schmoo Group. "You may want to use Tinfoil Hat Linux if...
    • You're using a computer that could have a keystroke logger installed. http://www.keyghost.com is an example of a tiny & cheap hardware logger.
    • You need to use your personal GPG keys at work, school or a web hosting facility where you don't trust or own the equipment.
    • If you maintain a PGP Certificate Authority or signing key and have to have a safe place to use the CA key.
    • If you simply don't want to risk putting a PGP key on a hard drive where someone else might have access to it.
    • The Illuminati are watching your computer, and you need to use morse code to blink out your PGP messages on the numlock key."
  6. Twins and Card Games by Dareth · · Score: 5, Funny

    I have two sisters who are identical twins. It was always required for them to wear aluminium foil hats if they wanted to be partners in our family games of spades. Otherwise, we would all end up beaten by them two terrible cheaters!!!

    --

    I only look human.
    My mother is a halfling and my dad is an ogre, so that makes me an Ogreling
  7. Dude! by turg · · Score: 5, Funny

    You got an affiliate commission link into a front-page Slashdot story! You rock!

    --
    <sig>Guvf vf abg n frperg zrffntr
  8. My Dad remembers the original case by Degrees · · Score: 5, Interesting
    My dad was a Sheriff's officer before I was born, and the original story made the rounds. One of his friends was a detective in the San Francisco Police Department, was called upon to visit a citizen there (must have been in the early 1960's, I think). Anyway, the person had lined every wall of the apartment with aluminum foil, 'to keep them from reading her brainwaves with the radio'. Obviously, the person was mentally ill. When the person expressed distress at not being able to leave the apartment, the tin foil hat was proposed. (The detective figured that the person was harlmess enough, so why not 'help'?)

    So that is the story as I heard it. My dad knows the name of the detective in S.F.

    --
    "The most sensible request of government we make is not, "Do something!" But "Quit it!"
  9. Rediculous! by Wireless+Joe · · Score: 5, Funny

    Everyone knows that aluminum did not exist before 1992. It was at that time that the Reynolds corporation made a bid to take over the US Government. Reynolds, an alliance between the city of Marina Del Rey and Tom Arnold (look it up, I don't use Google because they track my searches) began producing "anti Illuminati medium" or a-lumin-um by extracting the "conductivity" from steel, a naturally occuring mineral.

    Reynolds knew that the CIA and FBI were using mind control through the "cable networks" to persuade the population to upgrade to HBO, the mouthpiece for the Masonic Order of the Illuminati.

    You all just think you remember aluminum existing before 1992 because you do not wear your beanies, and have been influenced by HBO. Still need proof? Consider these facts:

    1. If you travel outside the US, you will find that no other countries use or have heard of aluminum. (England has something similar called aluminium, which was developed in tandem by Margaret Thatcher's shadow government.)

    2. If you travel to another country and they say that they have aluminum, you have not actually travelled to another country, but are on a HBO-enduced mind control trip.

    3. Aluminum does not get hot in the oven. I've made thousands of fish sticks in the years after 1992, and no matter how badly I burn them, I can always lift them by the corners of the aluminum foil I placed them on.

  10. Be wary of links online... by MarvinMouse · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Some of the psycho links aren't actually as insane as you may think...

    I used to play the game Majestic online, and I know for a fact they set up a lot of "pseudo-pages" of companies, home pages, etc. to go along with the storyline, and some of these links that have been given are directly from that game, and a few may be from further down the road (then I was in the game), because they seem to read almost exactly the pages I saw when I was playing.

    Sure there are psychos online, but there's also a lot of pages set up for other less insiduous or insane reasons.

    Just something to think about.

    --
    ~ kjrose
  11. How I discovered Tinfoil Hats. by mbstone · · Score: 5, Funny

    When I first opened my law practice, I shared a legal secretary with another lawyer.

    Part of my real-world education in solo practice was that, from time to time, I would get calls from prospective clients who were aggrieved by (alleged) mind-control rays and who wanted me to represent them against the U.S. Government or whomever. I would patiently listen to their stories, and offer to take their cases for $10,000 up front. (Mercifully, no one bit, or the state bar would have had my ass.)

    I had fun, but I got tired of being so patient a listener as I had other (billable) demands on my time. I mentioned my surprise (at the number of such calls) to my secretary, who said, "Oh. You just have to tell them to make a tinfoil hat and they'll go away. Works every time." And it did!

    100% of prospective mind-ray clients who were instructed to make tinfoil hats went away, presumably satisfied. I even got one or two nice notes in the mail, and a couple of referrals.

    Moral: There's no substitute for an experienced legal secretary.