Lord of the Rings, as Written By Everyone Else

sn0rt writes "A thread on Straight Dope asks what would happen if someone else had written the Lord of the Rings. Reader submissions include Ernest Hemingway, Douglas Adams, Mark Twain, HP Lovecraft, ee cumings, Milton, Mickey Spillane, Danielle Steele, Ayn Rand(!!), Ray Bradbury, Gilbert and Sullivan and Tom Clancy. My favourite is Dr. Suess: 'Gandalf, Gandalf! Take the ring! I am too small to carry this thing!' 'I can not, will not hold the One. You have a slim chance, but I have none. I will not take it on a boat, I will not take it across a moat. I cannot take it under Moria, that's one thing I can't do for ya. I would not bring it into Mordor, I would not make it to the border.'"

Comments

it's a good thing it wasn't...

[Gavin Rogers]

Because it would probably have never been published.

Sure, it's fun to re-write a bit of the LOTR in the style of your favourite author, but try doing it with an entire chapter... or an entire book. The witty and humerous style of, say Douglas Adams would quickly become unbearable on something as big as LOTR.

It's a bit like translating Shakespear into Klingon. Well, yes, do it if you want but the world reads Shakespear as it was written and as it was intended! Everything else is a waste of time...

H. P. Lovecraft and J. R. R. Tolkien: Similarities

[Nova Express]

Oddly enough, just last night I was thinking of similarities between H. P. Lovecraft and J.R.R. Tolkien. (No, really.) Though much of their work seems diametrically opposed, there are a number of similarities in their life and their approach to fiction:

• Both looked longingly back on what they considered idyllic childhoods.
  
• Both were antiquarians who looked to an era in the past as a golden age, disdaining the present, the idea of progress, and the industrial revolution.
  
• Both had fathers die at a young age.
  
• Both were fascinated what most (non-geeks) think of as dry academic areas: Philology for Tolkien, Astronomy for Lovecraft.
  
• Both were political conservatives of aristocratic temperment.
  
• Both became leading figures in long-lasting, all-male affinity groups of fantastic fiction writers (Lovecraft with Clark Ashton Smith, Frank Belkamp Long, August Derleth, etc., Tolkien with The Inklings (C.S. Lewis, Charles Williams, etc.).
  
• Both wrote tales in which the enormous and complex freight of their backstories was generally unknown to most of their protagonists, and only imperfectly revealed (if at all) throughout the tale.
  
• Both wrote works deeply tinged with pessimism and melancholy. Their protagonists might or might not survive, but even in the best of outcomes the world they knew would be forever changed due to events set in motion long before their birth.
  
• Finally, and perhaps most importantly, both used the tremendously powerful technique of salting their richly imagined secret histories with tidbits of real cultural, myth and history, which that gave their stories a resonance, depth and verisimilitude that their legions of imitators could never match. Lovecraft stole from dozens of arcane sources, while Tolkien delved into the roots of language to imaginatively reconstruct what he felt were "true myths" about the world.

Now what I need is for someone who's both a Tolkien and a Lovecraft fanatic to write a critical essay on this topic...

This is just silly - Damn Straight!

[zrk]

Maybe you need to lighten up a little. You comment is exactly the point! Parody is freedom of expression, and I find many of them hilarious. Think of it along these lines: If Windows hadn't been sold commercially, I don't think this parody discussion regarding Bill Gates would have made it to /. If Linux hadn't made it as a viable operating system, I don't think making fun of it would be a /. topic. If Cowboy Neal hadn't helped make/provide Opinion Polls, his name wouldn't always be used as a joke option on /. Sorry, Thalcon, this topic is news for nerds, and apparently you don't get nerd humor. Maybe you can find a way to deal with that.

No LOTR Logo/Icon?

[halo8]

Why oh Why Dear Slashdot Editors dose Lord of the Rings not have a Logo? Starwars has a Logo.. the Ipod has a Logo.. why dosent LOTR?

Think about it.. all the Posts that are going to be made over the next +2 Years for LOTR.. Movie Reiviews, Spoilers, Trailers, DVD's, DVD Reviews, Special Ed. DVD's, Cast Interviews, Award Shows, ect.. ect... ect..

LOTR DESERVES its own Logo/Icon

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